PREAMBLE
Ranking these songs was tough - I had a hard time deciding how much to weigh the execution of the challenge vs. the quality of the song as a whole, as well as how to weigh lyrics vs. music, composition vs. performance, concept vs. execution, etc. There are lots of good songs here, many of which are good in very different ways. I have no idea how the other judges will be ranking you, but I’m sure their rankings will be entirely different from mine, and just as valid.
OFFICIAL ENTRIES
in ascending order of excellence
20. Boffo Yux Dudes - When The Band Counts Down
Lately I’ve been paying a lot of attention to syncopation in vocal lines, and I’ve noticed that it’s often used in an attempt to make boring melodies sound a little more interesting. Unfortunately that’s what’s happening here: For example, in the first line, “I think you can understand”, every syllable but the first is on an off-beat, a pattern that mostly continues throughout the verses and part of the chorus (e.g. “Melts away your aggravation”). Syncopation often makes melodies feel more spontaneous and natural, but in these parts the relentlessness actually has the opposite effect: It feels just as robotic as it would on the beat, with the added minus of sounding like you accidentally got the tracks out of sync.
It’s where you use syncopation more sparingly that the results are much better: The title hook is nice and memorable, I think in large part because “Band. Counts.” come on strong beats and then “Down.” comes - surprise! - just after the beat. In this case, you set up a pattern and then subvert it, which is just good writing.
Other than the hook, and the strong overall concept, there’s unfortunately not much I like about this song. The backing track is as monotonous as the melody. I think you were going for a kind of driving, relentless punk-rock feel, but the energy isn’t there to support it.
19. The Quantifiers - The Terrible Trivium
Given the challenge, your band name, and your previous entry, it is of course only right and proper that you continue your Phantom Tollbooth adaptation. I wish this entry was as strong as your previous one, though.
Lyrically, the structure is good and clear, and the additive lists of tasks is a neat idea. There are some clever uses of counting throughout, as well as clever uses of the word “count” in the chorus, but otherwise the lyrics lack a lot of the surprise and wordplay of “Dining in Dictionopolis”. The lyrics are good - if probably overlong - but not good enough to make up for the weakness of the music.
The melody is boring and repetitive, and suffers from looong pauses that drag the energy down. (“The Terrible Trivium asks………. three terribly trivial tasks.”) The minimalist accompaniment doesn’t help, itself pausing in the exact same places as the vocal line - and the result feels even longer than 4:16.
The melody did get stuck in my head, but mostly because it was so repetitive that after one listen through I knew exactly what to expect. The melody and chord progression that end the chorus (“It might be easy, and it might be fun / But you can count on getting nothing done.”) are the highlight, musically (and maybe lyrically).
18. Glen Raphael - Song of Many
This song is not without its charms, but I can’t help comparing it to the similarly-themed but much better executed “One Voice” by the Wailin’ Jennys.
Your guitar technique and your vocal tone are great, as always, but I can tell that your strengths are as a live performer. The multi-tracked instruments and voices have a runaway train feel, especially at the end, and while listening I worry about the whole thing going off the rails entirely. In that final chaotic pile of voices, I usually don’t know where the downbeat is, and I’m not sure you do either.
The more restrained harmony voices during the verses are mostly well-done, although you know what I’m going to say about the word “friends” in the second verse.
Okay, fine I’ll say it anyway: SYNCHRONIZE. YOUR. FINAL. CONSONANTS.
17. Good Guy Sôjàbé - The Wire
The aggressive music matches the claustrophobic paranoia of the lyrics. The chug-chugga-chugging gets monotonous, although when the guitar throws in some more involved riffing my interest perks back up.
The chorus is catchy but the melody of the verse doesn’t leave an impression on me. I like how you switch up how you are counting, starting out one number at a time and integrated grammatically (two hands, three strikes, etc), then switching to a call-and-response rhyming pattern.
I wish the guitar solo were either more virtuosic or more intentionally melodic - as it is, it mostly sounds noodly. The slow arpeggio (guitar harmonics?) that first shows up at 0:48 is really weird - it doesn’t seem to match the rest of what’s going on in feel or even be in the same key? I’m not sure what’s going on.
16. Rob From Amersfoort - Count Me Out
Sonically, this has plenty of great things going on - the harpsichord and Strawberry Fields Forever organ and the backwards drums especially. A Rob from Amersfoort song always has plenty of forward motion - sometimes at the expense of rhythmic variety. Here the harpsichord does a lot to mix things up and maintain rhythmic interest, while the half-time drums come at just the right time to break things up and give us a breather.
The lyrics are nothing special here - the counting up to ten feels very tacked on, rather than being an integral part of the lyrics. You could cut it and the song would lose nothing - except for meeting the challenge! This is going to cost you in a round when lots of people did very creative things with the challenge.
15. Outlyer - Napalm
In this and other songwriting competitions, I’m used to hearing songs that sound like they’re three or four (or five) decades behind schedule in terms of the rest of popular music - so it’s refreshing to hear something that wouldn’t have been out of place on pop radio in the past decade! For better or worse, rappers don’t seem to rap much these days, and you fit right in with the new vocal paradigm.
The lyrics, melody, and production all work together to create a consistent atmosphere, which is great. It’s a good listen, although the pitch-shifting is a bit much.
The counting feels entirely incidental to the song as a whole. The “running out of time” hook would seem to open up the possibility of some more counting (minutes, steps, etc) but instead the counting is reduced to a few throwaway lines. Yeah, it’s there, but I want more.
14. Ominous Ride - Seven Naughty Children
There’s a lot to like about this one: the overall concept, the diversity of manners of death, the stealth encoding of the Fibonacci sequence, the swerve into dirge-like music at the end of each verse. It’s all very very clever.
Two things keep me from loving this song, and even from particularly enjoying repeated listens: First, the song drags on toooo long - clever as it is, cleverness can’t sustain my interest for five minutes of the same verses and choruses. Obviously you thought about how to abbreviate the songs by killing off multiple children within verses, but it still gets monotonous.
The second fatal flaw is the instrumentation, specifically the piano, which is repetitive to the point of roboticism, clearly fake, and way too loud in the mix. It’s a shame given how much care you put into the arranging, performing, and mixing of the vocals, which sound great, but which are buried under the sound of that damn piano.
13. Governing Dynamics - Get Lost!
Dreamy, hazy, beautiful. Most of this, I like a lot. The snaking melisma of the title hook is really really great, as are the sketchy verse lyrics that are kind of about driving but mostly about sex.
I’m not sure about the lines “why does time and distance work the way it does / never counting up and giving us the answer that we want" - they seem to add an element of conflict that’s absent from the rest of the lyrics. Maybe that’s intentional, but it seems a bit out of place to me. The ending also feels like a misstep, closing on those lines rather than giving us more of the chorus (except for an ill-advised, pitchy “do you wanna get lost” buried in the background), and then cutting out entirely with an abruptness that feels, again, out of place, and unsatisfying. It doesn’t leave me wanting more, it leaves me hanging.
12. BucketHat Bobby Matheson - Countin' Dice
This is a fun and pleasant tune. The accordion is of course lovely - I dig the tone of your instrument, and you play it well. I wouldn’t have minded some more involved melodic playing, but this style of song doesn’t demand it.
The melody and chord progression are nothing ground-breaking - you are in well-worn folk song territory. It doesn’t feel like you’re ripping off anything specific but it’s not particularly original either.
The lyrics are great - you stay on topic and on message (D&D is fun but the math is hard) while maintaining a consistent rhyme scheme, which I will always appreciate. I do think you could have leaned harder into the specifics of the dice math. Obviously the “counting” aspect provides the original inspiration (and the pun in the chorus) but the counting itself is confined to the bridge and doesn’t feel specific to D&D in any meaningful way - I think you missed an opportunity to mine the nerdy humor even more than you did.
11. Temnere - Cynics Anxiety
This entry lacks some of the epicness of last round’s “Amplified” - many of the same elements are here but they don’t add up to the same effect for me. The lyrics are great, tersely and economically (heh) exploring the idea that greed and inequality won’t magically disappear if and when we make it off the planet. The countdown (to, one assumes, a rocket launch) is not really integrated into the rest of the lyrics, but it does set the scene.
The last minute feels unnecessary, and I’m really not a fan of screamed/growled/whatever it’s called metal vocals, so the last thirty seconds would go especially unmissed. I know that 4:04 isn’t even that long in this genre, but trimming it down might help make more of an impact.
10. Timothy Patrick Hinkle - Number Line
These lyrics are anchored in a specific experience, and they convey that experience very well, with well-drawn images (and as a bonus, a consistent ABAB rhyme scheme for the verses). Lyrically, I think the only misstep is the word “traffic” in which the accent is forced onto the second syllable.
I don’t love the electric guitar tone, and I wish either that it was less grating or that the production was more involved to give my ears a break from it. The synth solo after the chorus comes as a welcome change, but I have to wait two minutes to get to it. I understand that the sound matches the sense of anxiety conveyed by the lyrics, but a balance has to be struck between conveying the mood and still being enjoyable to listen to.
The verse melody is strong but it’s the chorus that’s the highlight, with some excellent harmony vocals. Other entries feature more creative counting than your straightforward “1, 2, 3, 4”, but you’ve given this simple counting litany a specific meaning and emotional heft. Well done.
9. Jocko Homomorphism - Discretion
I assume, since I know that you are a very smart person, that the pun in the title is intentional: discretion as in discreet (private, concealed, encrypted) and discrete (discrete math, modular arithmetic). WELL DONE MY FRIEND.
Getting past the title, this song is just pretty damn good. It requires a certain frame of mind to enjoy fully, at least for me - as is true of jazz in general. But the melody (and countermelody) are interesting, well-constructed, and catchy. This was stuck in my head a lot.
The muted trumpet sound is a little harsh which does detract from the replay value for me, but otherwise there are some nice instrumentation choices - I particularly like the xylophone (or similar).
Your voice is in good form, and I think you’ve found a melodic style that suits your voice well. The lyrics are sketchy enough that we don’t really get a lesson in cryptography just from listening to the song on its own, but they’re evocative enough. I wonder if you could have found some way to make the encryption formula explicit - otherwise, without the song bio, you just seem to be listing random numbers in the chorus.
8. Caravan Ray - Peak Misery
This is damn catchy - the clav, the tasty hand percussion, the “na na na” hook. It also doesn’t overstay its welcome, making the wise choice of leaving the listener wanting more.
The counting off of misery levels is very clever and well-done, as are the lyrics as a whole. We are all familiar with breakup stories, so we don’t need tons of detail, but the “chap like me” verse injects a nice specific image and helps us feel bad for this poor guy.
When the vocals are layered on top of each other, as in the “past two weeks” and “5-4-3-2-1” sections, it all turns into mush, and nothing is really intelligible at all. That’s too bad, because the first time you sing the title “peak misery”, I don’t understand it at all. Generally, if you’re layering two different vocal lines and we’ve already heard one of them before, pull that one back in the mix, or adjust the EQ or something, so that we can actually hear the new line.
7. Mandibles - Breathe
Man, that ascending piano line in the verses is so good. Is it exactly like something I’ve heard in another song? Probably, but I don’t care. It fits perfectly, and it saves the verses from falling victim to my sworn enemy, the Call and Response with No Response. (I’m going to keep calling it that until someone comes up with a better name, or everyone stops doing it.)
There’s plenty more that’s lovely about this song, of course. The title hook is gorgeous - sung impeccably, of course. The slide guitar that introduces everything is beautiful. The increasing layering of instruments at the end, including the guitar solo, is quite nice.
You’ve made a really interesting choice with this song, which I think hampers its effectiveness considerably. The first four minutes of the song, musically, are beautiful, lush, and calm - and the lyrics are describing a panic attack. Then, when we get to the breathing exercise to calm us down and bring us out of the attack, we get an increase in energy, layers of instruments including the aforementioned (pretty frenetic) guitar solo, and some seriously surprising, even unsettling, harmonic shifts and vocal counterpoint. None of these are bad musical choices per se, but again, this is supposed to be the calming section!
Essentially, at least to my ears, the music and lyrics seem to be working at cross-purposes to each other. I don’t think it dooms the song to failure altogether, but it is a flaw built into the very structure of the song, which can’t be fixed without taking the whole thing apart and putting it back together.
6. Vowl Sounds - Blood on the Tracks
Just to be clear I follow the story here: He asks her to marry him, she says no, so he kills her and himself in public. Right? Maybe I’m just cranky, but we hear enough “jilted lover driven to murder” stories in real life that I’m not particularly in the mood for it in song.
That aside, this song does have a lot going for it. Sonically, it’s beautiful, with a pleasantly subtle vein of country folded among the typically lush Vowl Sounds sounds. I am not a vibraslap fan myself, but it’s used tastefully enough that I give it a pass, and the mark tree/windchimes/whatever under “Count the ways I love you” in the last chorus (and I think maybe somewhere else earlier too) is a perfect little touch.
The lead vocal also has a tinge of country, with mixed results - the melisma on “goodbye” is gorgeous; the fall on “you” of “I never promised you forever” is annoying.
I’m not sure how prominent you can argue that the counting is, but it is a nice rhetorical touch that 1-2-3-4-5 first refers to declarations of love, and then to bullets in the jukebox. There are some stealthily brilliant lines elsewhere, like when the lead vocal sings “Looking for some change” and the backup adds “looking for a change”, and that it’s the Temptations that they first dance to.
5. Nick Work - Reasons (That I Love You)
Having only heard two of your songs, I am already impressed with your stylistic range. In both of your songs, you fully embodied the genre you’re occupying, with very enjoyable results.
The groove is infectious, the guitar playing is tastefully virtuosic, the production is impeccable, and your vocal performance is confident and competent (although there are a few too many grunts for my personal taste).
My only complaint is your handling of the counting aspect - yes, you’re counting, and what you are counting is right there in the title, but the list itself is not very inspired. Let’s review:
Reasons that I love you:
- I’m always thinking of you
- I’ve got nothing else to do
- That feeling every time we kiss
- A couple hundred thousand (unspecified) reasons more
If I were the recipient of this love song, I’d have a few follow-up questions.
4. Faster Jackelope - Limerence
Is that Frisbee singing lead? It’s a mellower, warmer vocal tone than I’m used to. Whoever it is, it’s gorgeous and fits the dream-like atmosphere created by the slide guitars and the production as a whole.
I often find glennnnny’s vocals to be the weak link in a Faster Jackalope song, but here they work really well to establish a contrast, since it’s another character trying to bring the protagonist down to earth. The less polished, more - no offense - normal voice, in conjunction with the more aggressive instrumentation, reminds us of reality.
The production is so lush that the lyrics take a back seat, and upon close examination some lines are pretty hokey - especially “Don’t have the wherewithall / To not be a ne’er-do-well”. The counting is integrated fine, although I’m not sure I want to know exactly what “fluids mingling / Upon this alphabet” really means.
Really, my only other complaint is that the “all this time, all this time” hook feels lifted too directly from Tears for Fears’ “Mad World”. I know, I know, it’s two descending intervals and it’s not even note-for-note (the second one jumping straight down rather than walking down the scale). Still, I can’t not hear it.
3. Jerkatorium - 8-bit Love
This is the quality Jerkatorium content I came here for. You play to your strengths here: clever wordplay and rhymes (“comin straight at you” / “evaluates as true”), catchy hooks (“11111111 la la la la love. love. love.”), nifty guitar solos (digging the clean tone this time around).
The following are not really criticisms, but rather observations for you to ponder: It is unclear until the final bridge and chorus whether this is a love song to a computer, or to an actual person but in the language of a computer-obsessed nerd. And given the subject matter, it’s an interesting choice to lean into the guitar-driven pop-rock sound, instead of, you know, something more… computery.
2. Steve Stearns - The Fibonacci Sequence
The groove is infectious, and the lyrics are oh-so-clever. The concept might be considered low-hanging fruit, but when you execute it this well, who can complain?
Lyrically, the explanation and elaboration of the sequence is very well-done, as are the mentions of its real-world applications. The cascades of rhymes are quite pleasing, although I think “Bonacci” should be pronounced with the emphasis on “na”, just like “Fibonacci”.
Musically, this is also very well-done - “foundation of the golden ratio” stands out as the melodic hook that gets stuck in my head. Ironically, the elaboration of the sequence is the weak spot - it drags the energy down just when it feels like it should pick up. Cutting the vocal rests down between numbers somehow (“Zero and one is one…[too long a pause] one and one is two...”) might help.
1. Ross Durand - Don't Blink
This is a completely charming song. The nursery rhyme counting at the beginning gives way to counting years going by, until a grandchild comes along to count to again. Very nice. And the “once in a while… twice the person” verse is a clever touch too.
My only complaint with the lyrics is that a few lines could use tightening up - “I can’t tell you anything / Well I can say it, but you won’t hear it / I guess you think I’m just muttering” come to mind. I’d love if the rhythm could match the corresponding lines in other verses, since the extra syllables feel like mistakes, especially the oddly-emphasized “muttering”. Otherwise, the lyrics are well-crafted, although you do sing it at times like you’re not sure of the best delivery - just a matter of practice, I think. The music is simple but well-suited to the style.
SHADOWS
Menage a Tune - Same Old Dance (SHADOW)
Dancing with Death! I waltzed to this with my six-week-old trying to get her to sleep. It’s clever and the harp sounds great, although the voices and harp are not always very well synchronized rhythmically.
The Brewhouse Sessions - Please Come Home Faye (SHADOW)
This is a much stronger entry than your Round 1 song, and I’m sorry you were cut because this might have had a good shot of moving you on to Round 3. The instruments hang together better, the vocal melody is good, and the lyrics are emotional without getting excessively sentimental (even though the subject is absolutely horrific).
Presenting all the verses before getting to the chorus is an interesting choice, but it works pretty well here. The guitar solo at the end could probably get trimmed, but it’s a nice groove and I don’t mind that it continues for as long as it does. The heavy pitch correction on the vocals lends a somewhat bizarre feeling - it wouldn’t feel out of place in a more electronic production, but the acoustic rock sound doesn’t normally call for it. Once I get used to it, though, it stops being a serious problem pretty quickly.
Jeb and Iwa - Fibonnacci Encounters Pie (SHADOW)
This is catchy and fun, while maintaining the off-kilter feeling of your first entry. I’m impressed that you were able to use the Fibonacci sequence and digits of pi to create chord progressions that sound natural and not like random collections of chords.
PigFarmer Jr - Gal For Me (SHADOW)
The mandolin is great. The melody is pleasant, although feels under-rehearsed; I think it needed a couple more run-throughs to solidify the phrasing. The lyrics are fun, if silly. All in all it’s a nice little ditty that doesn’t make a strong impression.
Micah Sommersmith - Chuck and Juanita (SHADOW)
I wasn’t sure at all if this idea would actually work at all, but… I think it did?
Heather Miller - The Good Stuff (SHADOW)
A pleasant little reminder to be thankful for what we have, although some of the good and bad doesn’t seem very balanced - if you’re having trouble affording eggs, you probably won’t be finding a 20 in your pants. Needs a few more run-throughs to tighten up the vocal delivery, but it’s got charm to spare.
