Here are your Round 1 rankings from Joy Sitler:
Read on for Joy's reviews, and be sure to check out her appearance on the Two Jerks, One Vote podcast as well!
Hello hello hello! A few quick notes before I get started here- Please remember all of these rankings and suggestions are going to be colored by my personal biases, no matter how hard I try. Please, please take my thoughts with a grain of salt. If you find my criticisms helpful and you find they improve your work, then I’m happy to have helped. But if you don’t like any of my suggestions it is your right, and in fact your job, to ignore them, and keep making your art the way you want to.
A couple notes about my perspective to keep in mind:
I put a lot of weight on cohesion. If a song’s elements all seem to be working together to reach the goal of the song, whatever it may be, I’m more likely to be drawn to it. I may be wrong about some of your goals, and I may be misunderstanding how some of your elements are meant to connect, or not connect- but of course I can only use my best judgement.
I also put a lot of value in emotional content, which is about as subjective as anything can possibly be. I’ve always been a sucker for a good cry and I have a lot of estrogen in my system that wasn’t there two years ago. So if you make me feel something, whether it’s happy, sad, or even just energizing, it’s going to result in a higher ranking.
I’m putting the most negative weight on things I perceive as mistakes. For me, performance related issues are extremely difficult to look past in a field as strong as this one.
Falcon Artist- School Bus Driver
This is a cute little song! I’m a little perplexed by the lyric “and they always have a sad expression on their face” followed a little later by “the kids are jolly as me”- is the idea that they’re going to school and they’re sad, and later they’re going home and they’re happy? If so I think that could be a little clearer in the story telling. There are some odd moments with rhythmic phrasing here and there and a few pitch issues, and unfortunately I weight those pretty heavily here.
Wendy Wiseman Fisher - Where the Pumpkins Lie
God I love a good murder ballad and this sure is one! Great lyrical painting, lovely, lovely singing, and great orchestration work. “Blood on linoleum” is going to be stuck in my head for a while.
On subsequent listens I’m noticing the lead vocals could maybe use some mixing work. The voice feels like it has some kind of filter on it that makes it sound almost nasally? It’s like something in your signal chain is making it sound smaller than your voice would in person. And in some parts it sounds like an intentional effect (blood on linoleum esp) but in the bulk of the song I wish the vocal mix was a little more open. Still, overall very lovely work.
chewmeupspitmeout - Deja vu, Deja me
Cool guitar hook! Some really nice moments in the lyrics too- Marionette and Cassette is a pretty sweet rhyme.
I’m hearing a pretty big disconnect from the guitar and the rest of the song- this has a lovely classic rock sounding guitar with an otherwise very ambient atmosphere with light midi drums and synth pads. It doesn’t sound like those two things go together- just a little less volume and some reverb on the guitar would bring the guitar into the deja vu world I think you’re going for here, OR to take it the other direction, a more convincing drum sound with the vocal pads (not sure if real or synth honestly?) maybe reserved for the choruses would go a long way. A lot of cool elements here but they seem to be fighting for the sense of direction.
Hot Pink Halo - Move Mountains
Fiona Apple, is that you? I fucking love this. Piano is sparse in all the right places, melodic when it needs to be. Lyrics have a whimsical feeling in spite of the really dark place they come from. Backing vocals and synths are great role-players. I did cry. I have no criticisms.
Boo Lee Crosser - Exit Signs
A lot of cool things in this one. Nice playing, and the melody feels classic without feeling derivative. I also love the way you talk around the hospital scenery, and don’t give it away explicitly. Would have almost liked the beginning of the story to be similarly vague in terms of the setting. All this to say I love the imagery in your lyrics here, and would love to hear you take some of these strategies you’re using and run with them more.
Instrumentation is pretty dense throughout and mix is pretty loud for an acoustic song with minimal percussion- would have been nice to get some dynamic variance and some more space left throughout. I’m finding the vocal doublings a little distracting in the verses- unless you’re going for an Elliot Smith type of sound (which I’m not hearing here) doubled vocals really need to either be lined up perfectly, or the double needs to be much quieter to best support the main lead.
SEE/MAN/SKI - The Hermit
I’m getting Ben Folds Five vibes, and I like it. Cut the cord to the great outdoors is a hell of a line. Undisturbed/Unperturbed is also a hell of a rhyme. Lyrics on the whole are super picturesque, despite the mundane nature. Great dynamics and arrangement. And on later listens, I’m loving how you’ve mixed your vocals. The doubles and the harmonies sit back in a way where they’re just loud enough to be supportive.
Your instrumental interludes in the middle feel like they drag on about twice as long as they need to. I’m also not a huge fan of the vocal improvisation around the 2:25 mark- sounds pretty thin and a little quip from the guitar or piano there would be really nice- or just jumping straight into the bridge.
☀bucket - Nickels to Roll
What if Beck collaborated with LCD Soundsystem? Very artful take on a minimalist, danceable, indie rock sound. The song manages to capture both frantic urgency but also a sense of total ennui. It’s not the most pleasant listen, but it’s a vibe and it’s just so well done. It accomplishes exactly what it means to. I would also love some more dynamics in the instrumental interludes- you have these phrases with a lot of potential for shaping and they just sound super compressed to my ears.
This Big Old Endless Sky - It Only Felt like a Minute
HA! Good one Giz-I mean, Bob. I love writing short little songs but I’m learning now that it sucks to have to judge this lovely little song from the other side, where I wish it was longer. You have so much going on musically, and you set up an expectation for a verse, prechorus, and chorus, and then it just. Ends.
The Pannacotta Army - Leaving LA
Delightful. Squeaky clean production. Jimmy Buffet would be proud. And that guitar solo is so cute. I think the trumpet might be my favorite detail here- really cuts through without overwhelming anything. My big qualm is that it feels pretty cheesey at times- but who doesn’t love a little cheese here and there?
gammammannn - Just Walk
Thank you for introducing us to Gloopy! They remind me of Flubber but without the flying. Catchy chorus- I mean, drop. Excuse me. This works well and there’s a lot to parse. Loving some of the more subtle piano-like sounds in the background- they work really well in that role. Some of your more sustained melodic synths in your ver- I mean, Steves, make it hard to hear the vocals sometimes, and I’m having trouble following the story without the lyrics in front of me.
Huge Shark - Fine
Ugh this one tugs at the heartstrings. The idea that the temporary is beautiful has been coming up in my conversations with friends and my therapist lately, and I’m amazed at how well you’ve painted this into such a lovely lyrical picture.
Beautiful singing, and I love the growth in the music. I have one nitpick but I totally understand why it is how it is- midi orchestral strings are almost always nails on a chalkboard for me if you don’t bury them in reverb and cover them with other sounds, but I understand why doing that doesn’t make sense here. I do love what you’ve done with the instrumentation otherwise. Beautiful work.
Good Guy Sôjàbé - Justice Never Sleeps
I know nothing about Judge Dredd beyond what google just told me but this sounds straight out of an action movie. The chorus, especially vocally, has me sold on a genre that’s not usually my style. I do feel like it drags on a little- the intro is a little long for my liking, but overall you’ve got a great post-grungey type song here. Hell yeah.
The Alleviators - Right By You
I’m sobbing after the first listen. Beautiful, beautiful storytelling. I do have one tiny note- there are some moments where either the bass or the guitar (I think the bass) is a little out of tune. But oh my goodness what a lovely portrait of a busy lifestyle and a family just getting by as best as they can.
David Taro - Rosettina
This song should be in the dictionary entry for Timeless. I can’t even blame you for following the piano ballad trope, because you execute it so damn well. You’ve made me nostalgic for something I didn’t experience, which is a rare feeling. The sound on this one is huge, and the growth in the instrumentation is lovely. And of course your performance and production are sleek as hell. Great work here.
Jealous Brother - A Backpack and Two Sandwiches
This is great fun until the part where it gets dark- I don’t have a problem with it getting dark but it does change pretty drastically. Love the exposition- you pace the story well. I do find the strumming behind the guitar nut and the slide whistle a little more abrasive than they need to be to get the point across- they make sense but they’re mixed a little louder than I feel they need to be, and the strumming goes on longer than it needs to.
Nathan Joe Long - Remember Monangah
This is really solid work. So dark. The aesthetic and the tone remind me of the Jason Robert Brown musical Parade, but also You’ll Never Leave Harlan Alive by Darrell Scott. The arrangement and the mix are excellent, and the performance is really well done too.
Doing a quick google search really goes a long way for this one- would have liked a song bio for the first couple listens to have some more context before I got around to looking it up. Although the song definitely stands alone if you don’t know the backstory, it’s really nice to have that bio to get what’s going on especially when referencing a historical setting or event like this.
glennny - I Have Until Midnight
Sick riffs, and really fun music all around! There are some really nice moments in the vocals and the lyrics that I love as well, and that I feel are really serving the song. The falsetto on “Who” at the beginning of the chorus is /sweet/, and I love how as the narrator procrastinates we have timestamps to kind of give us this sense of the impending deadline. Yet. Some of these lyrics and their execution don’t seem to me to be cohesive, and I think point to the idea that you may have written a really cool instrumental and then written some lyrics that fit the challenge more than they fit the music. “Who do you think you are to try and to control me?” Has me kind of perplexed. The use of “to” twice is confusing to me- I hear why you need that many syllables but I can’t think of a reason someone would say it that way. I also hear all these lines about kind of lazing around the house but the vocals are super energetic as though something exciting is happening, and I find that kind of confusing as well. Overall you’ve done a lot of great work, I just don’t hear it all coming together to tell the same story or meet the same goal.
Flintsteel - Tau Zero
The drama! The energy! The narrative! I’m in. I’m especially loving the vocal rhythm in the prechoruses. The song bio really helps with figuring out how the challenge is met, and it’s met in a refreshing way.
Bob Voyg - A day in the life of a Mall Santa
Lots of nice musical stuff happening, and I totally get the story you’re telling here- it’s a lot of pressure to be Santa. It drags on ever so slightly for me, especially given how repetitive the dreamy texture is before the big change up.
Governing Dynamics - Outtahere
Solid work! I can tell you’ve put a lot of time into your arrangement- especially the drums. Some really nice lyrics too- “So the places you took shelter are the shadows you now fear?” Hell yeah they are. The midi strings don’t sustain all the way through every phrase and it sounds to me like they should- and a touch more reverb would be my personal preference on them as well.
OutLyer - HEY ALEXA
Love a good pop song. Love a good triplet feel hiding under a four-four beat. All that said, the song escalated kind of quickly and didn’t go back and explain itself an awful lot. I feel like the bulk of the story was left to the imagination- even some vague signposts like, “hey Alexa, how do I evade arrest” (etc) Or “Hey Alexa- defense attorneys near me?” Or even “maximum bail for [redacted crime]” Would go a long way here.
Siebass - We Are the Sum of These
Before anything else is discussed I need to check- did you mean for it to sound like the protagonist drinks their own urine? Because the sound effect you used makes it sound like you did and I’m not thrilled about that. Anyway. You’ve done some interesting stuff but it’s paced in a way that makes it hard for me to follow along.
Huey Long's Big Strong Thick Pink Magnum Opus - Asphalt
Interesting narrative, interesting vibes musically, and mostly a good sense of growth- the intro is about twice as long as it needs to be, but otherwise it’s paced well. Nice tone on the sung vocals. Unfortunately there is an awful lot of rhythmic dissonance between the vocals and the programmed percussion, and some rhythmic dissonance between the slide guitars and the programmed tracks as well. The vocals go in and out of time in a way that I find particularly unpleasant throughout the track. The main trouble with the guitars is the swing feeling is exaggerated while the drums are playing straight time leaving the vocals to mediate.
Möbius Strip Club - Angela
Lovely vocals, and the refrain is incredibly harmonized and rhythmically set. I’m hearing some major issues in the acoustic guitar. It sounds like it needs some maintenance done on it, as though it’s particularly difficult to play and keep in tune. Cool narrative but that guitar is so grating that I found this one a difficult listen.
Boffo Yux Dudes - Say Hey!
Fun vibe, cute little song! Love the backing vocals. Dropping the drums out at around 2:00 is a good decision, and then bringing them back in for the outro works really well. The lead vocals have some tuning problems, and those interjections are much louder than they need to be on subsequent listens, but otherwise this song does exactly what it means to.
Dog Star Pilot - Only Thing
Lovely melody and lyrics but it doesn’t quite hold up on its own- it’s really hard to apply the Tom’s Diner approach successfully. I think you made a great go at it with what you had on hand but it just needs some more support- even some more consistent percussion with some more volume could have gone a long way here. I was told that after judging there will be a new version published, and I’m really looking forward to it.
Fluke Wilson - Tommy Bahama Backfire
There’s a pretty clear narrative here but it’s kind of dryly delivered. The vocals are really, really, ambiguous with the pitch in a way that doesn’t seem to serve the purpose of the song. Personal gripe- rhyming a word with itself feels lazy and it happens right out the gate here
Sober - Long Way Round
Great story song- the pedal steel and the electric sound fantastic. And the narrative draws me in, at least on the first couple listens- songs like this always suffer from being put on repeat in my experience. On some listens it feels a little longer than it needs to be, but other times it feels fine. If you were to shorten it I feel like the best way would be to drop a chorus or two somewhere in the middle.
Miscellaneous Owl - Don’t Look Back
There are lots of lovely things about this song- the words and the music and even the simplicity of the production have a lot of charm- on first listen I was really thrown off by the page turn but I’ve come to really love that moment in subsequent listens. The recording really brings me in until the choruses. It’s clearly a very well written song but the choruses aren’t cleanly executed enough to keep me in the little world you’ve created.
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