Here are your rankings from SpinTunes 25 Champion Vehicles of Beware (aka Phil):
Read on for Phil's reviews!
Firstly, just want to say how much it means to be invited back as a judge. It's difficult to try and rate your creative pursuits, all of which you've clearly put a lot of effort into. It's clear that no-one is phoning it in here, you've done great work to hit the deadline. So with that, here's a few thoughts up top before we dive into each song.
What is it about focusing on a single day that stirs feelings of either melancholy, sadness, or tragedy? There seemed to be recurring themes across many of the songs, and they usually weren't positive lighthearted ones for some reason.
It might be because the day has been singled out (the song's *about* a particular day, right?) so it *must* be noteworthy. Even if it's so unnoteworthy that it *becomes* noteworthy. So thinking about one day makes us consider how it compares to all other days (and maybe life itself?). It's clear that the connection was made by several people separately, and it made for some juicy subject matter in many cases.
I'm fascinated by the range of production approaches too. This round had a full spread, from single take voicenote recording all the way to studio-esque mega-productions. I'll note for the record that production choices don't change the song itself BUT it does change the delivery of that song to the listener. Because of that, any production-related notes I've given are in service of the song and (hopefully) not just my preferred aesthetics.
Enough about that. Here are a few moments from the whole group of songs, which I find myself magnetically drawn to over and over again:
- The child's voice singing in *Right by You*. This is some kind of production super-move, just instantly captivating.
- The unexpected swears in *Backpack and A Sandwich* ("to that shit-hole") and the repeats until it somehow becomes an anthem.
- The lyric from *Deja vu Deja me*: "But I am English so I can't make a fuss"
# 1 Where the Pumpkins Lie - Wendy Wiseman Fisher
What a first line! Moody, atmospheric and brooding, with a murderous intent. The production here works well to establish the tone, and the vocal performance is also right on. Focusing on small details makes for great imagery, which include sights, smells, & tastes, each detail just a little part of a larger richer (and creepier) narrative.
I'd like to encourage others to read the author's notes for this one. The the process of asking the question 'why would anyone drive so far in a day' has led to a creative (if bloody) answer which has become basis of the song. Take note: this 'problem solving' approach is a great way of unlocking lots of juicy lyrics and can let the song be an *interesting* answer to a question. After that you're off and running. Hopefully not from the law.
# 2 Fine - Huge Shark
There are some really nice dynamics and instrumentation on this one, alongside some quite beautiful lyrics. The music follows the flow of each line and isn't afraid to adapt around lyrics that are slightly longer or shorter than the established pattern. This never feels forced, all the playing just works to make this magic happen.
For me, I think the drums should do the bars of two to keep the strong beats on the down beats. I'd also like to hear the last verse stripped back even more, and get those last words to stand out even more prominently. But these are just minor production details really, the underlying song absolutely shines through here, well done.
# 3 Nickels to roll - ☀bucket
It's a banger! With a steady mechanical thump driving the whole time, the lo-fi drums work to make this a little Beck-esque. The metallic/glass bottle clang adds such a cool dimension to the percussion tracks.
The vocals almost turn in to drums themselves with the *busy-busy-busy-busy* loop making room for the guitar solo, with some nice delay thrown on there. I liked the arrangement approach too where parts mostly come in and out slowly, morphing through the structure without any obvious entry/exit points.
This song has crowd-favourite potential. It's instantly catchy and would be fun to put on a stage. One with a really big lighting rig and lasers and stuff.
# 4 Tau zero - Flintsteel
A blistering track with a sci-fi story behind it. Time dilation is a great way of bending the theme without breaking it. Great concept and production choices - the blippy synth adds just enough sci-fi flavour and there's some synth choir for that movie soundtrack vibe. I can imagine this playing while the credits roll on the epic blockbuster film. (Sequel probably won't be as good though).
# 5 Mall Santa - Bob Voyg
Dreamy and vaguely psychedelic - just like the myth of Santa himself. I love the delicate string 'plinks' and saturated scrapings to set the mood. It's a good example of leaving space for the music to convey the feel, rather than just lyrics.
But then there's those lyrics! I love when an unusual word like 'masquerading' is used in a song, without it being the rhyming word at the end of a line.
With such sparse guitar parts, it's a great way of implying harmony rather than just playing the full chord. Spreading the harmony out between multiple instruments also does this. Overall the effect makes for some really compelling listening.
# 6 Move Mountains - Hot Pink Halo
A beautiful slow meditation of focus and determination. A really great take on the theme too. The left hand piano part does exactly what it needs to, the brooding constant drone keeping the listener held in place. The backing vocals add a nice response to the main voice out the front.
A couple of times the notes in the melody clashed a little with the chord underneath (you're on the C which is the 4th degree, which doesn't quite sit with the major third, a semitone away). Two ways to deal with this, either with a small chord change to the sus4 OR could be leaned into even more to create a more prominent dissonance, which might work to enhance the sense of unease.
The story behind this (Shout-out to John Green's excellent book - everyone should have a read of this.) is fascinating and captured well by the song's lyrics and mood. This is especially true when you use your voice to run out of breath and use that 'vocal fry' effect.
# 7 Right by you - The Aleviators
The vocal layering gives an unearthly undertone here. With the minor key and that open-ended verse lyric *"careful not to wake them in their sleep"*, I almost thought tragedy was imminent.
There's a good amount of musical variation in each section, and the song propels you forward through the story.
And then, a child's voice just appears to introduce the title lyric. This moment stood out as incredibly poignant, because it's taken more than half the song before you make your move. The instrumentation falls away just right, the parents replying the choruses original melody, now as an answering phrase. This was incredibly effective.
Small note, there were a few lumpy bits of timing here and there, nothing that couldn't be fixed or anything but noticeable enough. The song would benefit if you could smooth these out to make sure the listener stays locked in ahead of the all-important end section.
# 8 Rosettina - David Taro
Nice structure and chord flow, piano parts are driving the bus here, and some tasty slide guitar too - got some classic Elton vibes here. It's also a great example of how how bridge can be mostly instrumental (with a little 'badada baaa') and still absolutely work to serve the song.
There's a big band of instruments to being the production together for this one, and it makes the song a real celebration of life.
# 9 Leaving LA - The Pannacotta Army
I liked the Burt Bacharach mood from the sounds you've selected, it even had a little Eagles ballad thing going on (can't you just hear those harmonies). Love the modulations through the form, it's an approach from another era that could be used a lot more these days.
Lyric-wise it's staying true to the core idea, but I would have liked some more 'gravity' in the second half, where something is revealed and provides more story for repeated listens.
Still, there's a peaceful contemplative mood created in the space between the lyrics that's like a warm summer breeze. So returning each time to the song was a very pleasant experience. I'm going to pour myself a drink.
# 10 Just walk - Gammammannn
Pushing outwards from chip-tune electronica into soundscape exploration with heavy clippy drum machines, this song has endeared itself to me on repeated listens. No idea how you came up with it, there's just so much going on, well done.
The bridge section (Larry) strays a little further into atonality than I was expecting, this section could use a more dramatic change in the instrumentation I think, which would make that last chorus hit all the harder.
# 11 Backpack and two sandwiches - Jealous Brother
Yee!
But also Har!
The wandering nature of the lyrics slowly reveals a story and the guitar playing keeps the energy high throughout. There were a couple of times that the lyrics could have been made smoother by removing one syllable (for example: 'Pro-fesh-nuh-lee' or 'Co-lum-byah'). The chords changing around is a great variation and the unexpected swears made the outtro to the song very catchy.
# 12 Deja vu, Deja Me - chewmeupspitmeout
Great opening riff to set up the main section of the song. This one has some killer lines (see my main notes) and sticks with the time-loop theme throughout.
Be careful with your bass parts/tone, which sometimes make the rhythmic feel of the song a bit 'squishy'. A bass part with more definition would have locked together a bit better with the guitar and drums, especially in the pre-chorus/chorus sections.
The chorus form here is different each time, which works really well! It's also an **interesting** choice because the theme of the song is looping, but you've (deliberately?) not looped the chorus.
# 13 The hermit - SEE/MAN/SKI
Nice production elements to support this song, which is structured well harmonically recorded well. I'd like to suggest using some different rhymes for the lyrics, you've used 'door', 'ignored', 'outdoors', 'bored', 'door' and 'floor'. Changing the rhyming syllable to something unexpected can open up your lyric options by working to solve the puzzle you've created for yourself. Plus it's more interesting for the listener.
# 14 Exit signs - Boo Lee Crosser
There's some nice storytelling in here, and some solid lyrics (*Was interrupted by my need to breathe*). The guitar voicings are well used here, with open strings ringing out to provide notes of colour.
In terms of the flow of the song, I felt like I was waiting for either the drums to come in or resolving chorus. Here's why. Every chorus was different lyrically and I felt that it could have benefited from a repeated refrain or lyric to glue the song together and keep it focused. The chord sequence usually finishes on the V chord which provides a tension - resolving the chord could be a way of providing release at some point, and would give the listener a moment to reflect on the story before moving on.
Drums can add dynamics to the song, and make it clearer that the song has arrived at a new place, so I think there's a way to use drums to resolve the tension.
# 15 Hey Alexa - OutLyer
Nice twinkly computer blips throughout this song add a great flavour. The song is well structured and has nice arrangement touches - I'd like to see even more made of these, especially between sections. The chorus is very catchy from all those repeated lines - but be careful that this can sometimes be a double-edged sword on repeated listens.
# 16 Only thing - Dog Star Pilot
It's very difficult to pull off a song completely a capella - well done on conveying the tone, while staying in time and key!
I'd be fascinated to hear a version of this with chords, if only to hear if you're strictly choosing the diatonic chords (in the scale) or if some more unusual selections would come out. With only vocals on the recording, I can imagine some strong choices are possible, especially on the 'alt' melody that uses the minor 3rd.
I'd also maybe like to hear another section, verse or bridge, to tell the audience a little more about the person singing. We know what they're doing, but maybe not why, so I think this could be a way to contextualise the journey for the listener, especially during repeated listens.
# 17 It only felt like a minute - This Big Old Endless Sky
A succinct and sharp little tune which (ironically) felt like it was more than a minute long. The mood is immediately established and fulfils the theme, I would have actually liked to hear a longer version of this to explore more lyrics and themes.
# 18 Outtahere - Governing Dynamics
Good structure and sounds overall, with catchy chorus lyric. There were some tuning things on the vocals, mostly on the second verse - watch out for these. I really liked the lyric from the bridge *'Hate to say but I relate to a slowly dying light'*, along with some other heavy-hitting lyrics throughout - keep finding gems like these and you'll have an absolutely set of lyrics.
# 19 Remember Monnangah - Nathan Joe Long
Some nice production touches here, the brushes on snare give military march without being to intrusive, and the bowed string sections add great richness. I think the song could have benefited from a slight trim down - some sections could have packed a bigger emotional punch by being shorter, particularly the bridge section. Melodically I think there were some notes that didn't quite land and this unfortunately detracted from the song a bit too.
# 20 Say Hey! - boffo yux dudes
It's fun song and even has some 'easter eggs' all the way through, however for me this didn't quite 'nail' the theme as it felt like it was about the action and not the **day**. You rhymed a lot of words with Hey, including say, play, nay, gray, and hay (I see what you did there), but I would have like to see some more adventurous choices. You could have used gourmet, bird of prey, or even Paraguay! This would have given the lyrics an added layer of fun and held the listener for longer.
# 21 Long way round - Sober
The song sells the premise right up top - opening with the chorus is a strong choice! With all the spoken word part, does this qualify as a rap song? Or maybe it's more like Alice's Restaurant - essentially a folk protest poem set to music.
The guitar parts are well played, especially that pedal steel / slide guitar and the overall production was ok, but the songwriting here didn't grab me. The lyrics focus on the places and things you learned about it, but there's nothing much that *happens*.
# 22 Angela - Mobius Strip Club
The lyrics here paint a vivid story and overall I think the approach was a good one. Your vocals are powerful and you use them well throughout. However a few elements need some more attention to make the song land for the listener. Check your guitar chords as you miss the mark on a couple of them. Check both your bass notes and vocal harmonies as they sometimes didn't match the guitar chords or main melody.
You've written a song with a lot of dynamics, this can be difficult to record and mix, because of how hard it is to balance all the elements at different parts of the song. There are a few ways of dealing with this, I think a combination of (tasteful) compression and automation during mixing would help you get a smoother result.
# 23 Justice never sleeps - Good Guy Sôjàbé
The heavy tone and subject matter match well in this one. I know of Judge Dredd by name only, so maybe the lyrics aren't resonating with me as much as others who know the character more? I feel like this is more about the character than the day and so doesn't quite fulfil the prompt as well as others. The lyrics here are on theme, but could still have more edge to them to really sell the weight of the subject matter, his story, his choices etc.
# 24 I still have until midnight - glenny
The song has a good musicality throughout, with confident riffs and stops in the drum parts. The verse lyrics tell a good story but it's the chorus where I think it loses a little focus. This is coupled with a little muddiness in the effect you've chosen for the chorus vocals which make the lyrics hard to understand.
Small note I think it's worth including: 'Morty' can rhyme with 'Forty', but when you only pronounce one of them with a hard T, they kinda don't. Yes, it's a small detail but it came just as we started the chorus and was enough to distract me from the next line. Not a deal-breaker but it's the kind of thing that can by ironed out so easily, just thought I'd mention.
# 25 Don't look Back - Misc Owl
The lyrics here are very sad, I hope you're doing ok from whatever incident led to this. There's some nice imagery in this story with nests of sleeping bags and such. I'd maybe try and keep to one analogy for entering the underworld - is it a ferry or train? If you're going to the underworld then let the listener come with you.
The idea for the chorus with the time change is a good one, but I'm not sure you execute the delivery. To fix this, you could record the guitar and vocals separately, there are lots of free tools these days that let you do this, which helps you focus on one thing at a time.
# 26 School Bus Driver - Falcon Artist
This isn't really set on a particular day - more like a day in general. So it end up being more about the character than the day. Also take note of your section labelling, which shows you're not really sure about your song structure. Here, you've really only got one section, because you've got the one set of chords the whole time. The chorus might be the first lines *"I am the school bus driver"* which is repeated a couple of times but could be made more of an anchor point to establish its role as a chorus. Alternatively, you could have a different set of chords which would give you two sections to alternate between, giving you a verse/chorus.
Also be careful of splitting up lyrics between lines *"to the school and pick.......up the kids"*, which is hard for the listener to follow.
# 27 Tommy Bahama Backfire - Fluke Wilson
For such a dark subject matter, the song has a jaunty and almost comic approach *"Well my mouth hasn't been this dry // Since the last time my mouth was dry"*. These didn't match for me, and the story became a bit too murky to follow. Is he a random target or do they need to get info out of this guy specifically?
There are some strong choices on the chords which I liked. Putting your strongest lyrics on the boldest chord choices would help justify these even more.
Watch out for your melody notes when sections are in different keys, a couple of times you weren't in the same key as your guitar.
The last note I'll give us to think about the title. I know it might seem trivial but when the title words aren't from the lyrics, it can be a sign that the song isn't focused enough on an idea - as is the case here. The title probably means something to you, but as a listener I'd like some more connection between it and the rest of the song.
# 28 Asphalt - Huey Long's Big Strong Thick Pink Magnum Opus
Is that a baritone guitar or just some really low tuning? Either way it's a very promising introduction section at first. However, once the vocals enter, it loses this nuance and mood very quickly. The rhythm is unsteady and sometimes loses the pulse of the rest of the instruments. Check your swing and straight rhythms, when they're not consistent the listener is thrown off.
# 29 We are the sum of these - Siebass
I get the concept of this one, but I'm afraid it just didn't resonate with me as a **song**. This would work as an art installation played on an endless loop in a gallery somewhere. Every time it came up in the rotation I was (like the song's subject) frustrated and yelling at inanimate objects. I get that it's the whole point of the song - I really do, but I just couldn't get on board. The slowness of the tempo and simple arrangement made me wonder if maybe this was a song more for kids?
I think a development into something more expansive in the middle would have been a fair reward for the monotony of the first part, even if it had come back down at the end to the metronome and piano combo.
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# 30 Cigarettes and Microgreens [SHADOW] - Joy Sitler
A great set of lyrics here, together with a strong melody throughout. The a capella / stop-time moment really lands and provides dynamics and vulnerability all the same time.
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