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Saturday, June 25, 2011

SpinTunes #3 Round 1 Review: Kevin Savino-Riker

The first SpinTunes champ is back. He's been a competitor, he's shadowed, he's judged, and now he's guest judged. The man can do it all.





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Hi, I’m Troy McClure Kevin Savino-Riker! You might remember me from such songwriting contests as Spintunes, Spintunes 2, The White Elephant Skultar Challenge, A Songwriting Cycle, Frankensong, and the Songfight Gift of Music 2010. It is my diabolical pleasure to return for a rousing round of guest-judging today.


I’m going to borrow a few words from my last stint on the bench:

There’s no room for ties; not at the top, not anywhere. This means it’s possible that a song I’d give an objective score of 95% might walk away with the top spot, while a song that I’d score 90% might only walk away with a few points. The points are not a measure of overall quality; they’re of relative quality, and with a field this tight there will be some exaggerated gaps between high-ranking and low-ranking songs, even if I think they’re both pretty damn good.

Here’s how I’m going to put you in order: I put the musicality of a song and the poetry of the song on equal and prominent footing... by which I mean, the *writing* of the music and the lyrical content have the same sway over me. If you choose a particularly tasty sequence of notes, that will make as big an impact on me as if you had written a very clever, moving, or otherwise exceptional lyric. If you’ve done both, it will be better still.

Right up there in importance is how well you’ve met the challenge while doing those two things. Someone who wrote a song that aces the challenge has done better than someone who wrote an equally pleasing song that only barely satisfies it. In this case, I feel there are a few ways to succeed here - writing a story in which someone is happy about death, or setting any kind of death story to happy music.

Lastly, but still importantly, is the performance... and by that I don’t necessarily mean ‘production values’. If there was passion and quality in your performance, it’ll be evident no matter the quality of the equipment that captured you. That said, I expect there will be a loose correlation between production value and rank... but only because I expect that the better songwriters among us are the ones more likely to have the experience, equipment and expertise to best capture the song they wrote.

Lastly-lastly (and my escape clause), is the “it” factor. This is still an art of subjectivity and subtlety. My preferences might escape my own reasoning. I might find one funny song better than a serious song, and find another serious song better than the funny one. If a song excels, and I mean, *really* excels in one criterion, it could make up for a deficiency in another. If a song stirs my emotions, it’s going to do VERY well.

Alright, now that that’s done, let’s hit some reviews. Songs are reviewed in the order they appear on the album, and my ranked list appears at the end of the post.

Governing Dynamics - Alive Again: Here we have a great alternative-pop song that, while happy, is also unabashedly creepy. I love how the narrator acknowledges his own obvious insanity and shrugs it off because, well... killing chicks really brightens up his day. The chorus is catchy and sing-songy, you’ve got nice harmonies - especially in the bridge - and a great chord structure behind the whole song. The upward key changes at the end really seal the deal here; there’s an approaching climax as he makes the kill, followed by a nice minor turn in the closing lines as he comes down afterward and foreshadows the need to kill again. Really excellent work here.

Gold Lion - In The Afterlife: I’m a little torn on this song. Musically, there’s some sweet stuff going on here. I love the peppy acoustic funk, and your vocals are really enjoyable, especially with the Pomplamoosian harmonies that show up two minutes in... but I wish we had more lyrical content here. Now, it’s possible to write a great song that only wants a few words, and I’d argue that this song certainly conveys your message through its tone and the one verse you’ve given us, but that’s only enough to meet the challenge criteria. You have competition who met the requirements as well as you while delivering a lot more content.

Dr. Lindyke - Wake me When It’s Over: This is a really well-crafted piece. There’s a pretty traditional composition here that works to good effect - it strikes the ear as familiar and soothing right off the bat. Very nice piano, and the shaker/percussion provides just the right amount of background ambiance. You have a great melody, and I noticed something very interesting about its effect on the lyrics. I’m not sure I can explain it. Reading off the page they’re basic, simple prose, but your vocals seem to evoke a layer of poetry on top of them. Listening to them sung, each word seems to be carefully selected and exquisitely placed. I also have to acknowledge the nice play on words with ‘wake me’. This song exemplifies “more than the sum of its parts”.

Alexa Polasky - You Will Never Die: The music here is very cool. The interplay between guitar and bass is delightful, the drums are tight and solid, and the heavily-effected vocals lend a nice ethereal feel to the song. I’m hung up on your lyrics though. I love everything about the verses and the bridge, but the chorus doesn’t make sense. I want to forgive it because your “only gets better” hook is really effective, but I feel like there’s a better way to convey what you’re trying to say. I’m pretty sure you aren’t actually trying to suggest “you never die/you will actually die, but it’s cool”.

The Offhand Band - All Over: I think this is the only song that addresses metaphorical / abstract death, which is not too surprising, but it is refreshing. The song is saturated with Beatles influences and allusions, but if you’re gonna borrow, borrow from the best. I like the verses a lot; they clip along with a lot of energy and really keep the song bouncing along, but then the chorus seems to fall flat on its face in contrast, so you keep losing me until we get to the delicious organ outro. the organs were fantastic throughout the entire song, actually. Urgent and intricate without crowding out your vocals. It might be my single favorite piece of instrumental work in this round.

Matt Walton - We’re All Going To Die: The music is almost necessarily a secondary element when it comes to folk songs, and this uke-folk accompaniment does its simple job just fine, leaving you room to get right into your story. So, let’s take a look at the story. It seems to arbitrarily start with a couple making dinner plans and then quickly derails into a laundry list of possible deaths distracting the narrator. I really like the idea that these two people caught themselves at a moment in the middle of their lives, and then spent their otherwise uneventful dinner in conversation about how they feel about life and death, and this song is the audience listening in on them... but I don’t think that’s actually what you did here. It seems more like we’re tapping into his inner monologue, and if that’s the case then the first stanza seems pretty disjointed from the rest of the song. Depending on what you were actually going for, it could sway my overall impression of the song quite significantly. All in all, it’s a pleasant simple thing.

Brian Daniell - Cubbies Will Win: This song is a goofy cute party. Great lead guitar licks throughout, and a fun crowd of happy backing instruments. I can’t put my finger on it, but there’s something childrens’ song-ish about the lyrical construction here, and it’s a good choice to avoid the typical darkness of death talk. There’s a heavy parallelism in a handful of songs in this round, in which they tell us death is good because it separates us from the tedious and unpleasant day-to-day worries of life. This is the first of them that we encountered, so it’s going to set the benchmark on how well a song does it. I did get a kick out of this one thing: the rest of the song is all about what you can stop worrying about, but one specific thing you’re excited about once you’re dead is that you can keep worrying about the Cubs since you can wait the necessary eternity for them to win. Cute.

Byron Blocker & The Offbeats - She’s Dead: Wow. This song is something special. The whiskey blues is flawless, the vocals are OUTSTANDING, there’s great instrumentation all across the board, so I’m not even going to bother trying to delve into it beyond saying that I loved the horn section that comes in with the the hook - it caused a great swell that drives the song home. But as good as this music is, I’m really fascinated with the lyrics here. You outlined a scenario, and then neglected to tell us what *must* be a really juicy story... and despite that apparent deficiency, this song is absolutely dense with terrific lines. From the imagery of the girl’s description to the excellent internal rhymes everywhere, these are all expertly written. I’m in love with that second verse, by the way - references to the fatted calf and Bacchus, in particular - it says to me, “Listen, a normal party won’t do. We’re so glad she’s dead we need to celebrate the way they did thousands of years ago: ritual animal slaughter and appealing to the gods of wine and celebration.” Damn, dude. **Full disclosure: Byron and I are buddies, but his ranking is solely based on the song he submitted. The song earned my praise, and it was not influenced by the fact that I know him.**

Edric Haleen - I Hope You Die: This review is going to be short, because there are simply no words. I mean, seriously. You used them all. The over-the-top cheerful music is just perfect, and you delivered the vocal performance of the year. Lance Armstrong wishes he had your lungs. Your writing, in addition to being so mechanically precise with nary a misplaced syllable, is funny, clever and witty throughout. Somewhere, Weird Al just woke up from a nightmare in which he’s no longer the best. This is the most impressive song I’ll hear all contest long.

Charlie McCarron - Grandma And Grandpa: Gorgeous instrumentation and haunting melody. This is vivid and pure and heartbreaking, which makes it tough to evaluate. I think it’s happy and bittersweet. You met the challenge in the saddest way possible. But you met the challenge. The choir vocals are just beautiful; they redeem the heavy tone of the narrative by suggesting that the grandparents don’t just die at the end... they experience an ascension. Gorgeous song.

Spencer Sokol - Keeping Calm: This song is just so emotionally raw and moving. Your voice is plaintive and exposed and it makes the song beautiful, but I don’t know if it’s really very happy. Your choice of words is powerful throughout, and I love that you managed to identify a death without explicitly stating it. It’s hard to do that well, and you’ve certainly done it here. Great poetry. The guitar is crisp and powerful, and it gives the song more ‘mass’. Ultimately, though, that’s the only problem for this contest. The song is heavy, not happy. That said, this is probably my favorite song to listen to this round.

Luke Brekke, Esquire - Cannibal: You win the Silliest Song of The Round award. It’s funny for its absurdist approach, especially the “because he’s a cannibal” exposition choir. I laughed out loud every time they came in, especially with the cannibal/Annabelle rhyme. Deliciously silly. The music isn’t terribly interesting, though the pipe organ makes me imagine the singer as some sort of gothic Phantom of the Opera character hiding in his underground human-eating sanctuary. Good imagery evoked there, but other than that, this song lacks a little depth. It’s one joke carried out for three minutes, so it needs to be a really good joke to pull that off.

“Buckethat” Bobby Matheson - No Worries: We’ve come to the second song that takes the “death means no more worries” tack. This one does it in its purest form, and the list fills up nicely while being punctuated periodically with a very singable refrain. It’s a straightforward basic attack on the challenge, and it’s plenty enjoyable to listen to. You’ve got solid guitars and bass, and the accordion is a unique treatment, which is the one thing that keeps this song from feeling like the prototypical example of ‘happy song about death’. But it’s very close to what I imagine averaging everyone else’s entries would yield; I feel like you aimed for the middle of the pack and then hit the mark square on.

Alex Carpenter - The Day I Died: I suppose if you need to write a song about being the last guy alive after the zombie apocalypse, you can’t do much better than to make it a pop punk song. Everything fits together like it should; you’ve got the staccato chunky guitar chords and the cut time drum breaks that I love in songs like these. Your chord progressions and transitions are very well crafted, and I can tell there’s a lot of talent at play here, but there is a little bit of sterility in the final result, like it’s the consequence of being *too* carefully designed following blueprints from other successful songs. Feel free to disregard that criticism because music is incredibly subjective and I realize it sounds ridiculous for me to say ‘it would sound better if it didn’t sound so good’, but that’s just the way my tastes align. Your verses are superb. Returning to “dear diary” for each new stanza works really well, and you’ve done a great job describing the narrator’s plight. The chorus starts out a little weaker than the verses, though it resolves nicely. I’m more a fan of harmonies than unison vocals, but the second guitar helps fill the chorus out and inject a little more energy where the vocals didn’t, so it still works.

Inverse T. Clown - Caroline Is Dead: I can’t get enough of the vocal intro. Great harmonies, great way to trick us into thinking we’ve got a somber song on our hands. Once we pick up with the upbeat synth, you unleash a barrage of wickedly funny and smart lyrics that read like a giant limerick. Good structure here; the bridge is a welcome change, and it makes the final verse sound fresh again. Nice job.

Jutze - I Love The Dead: This is a great take on the challenge. It’s possibly the most acceptable means by which we can have a character love the fact that people are dying all the time. The whole song is joyful and carefree, almost inspiring. Here we have a character who could very well live a life of depression and darkness, but it doesn’t even occur to him to think that way about it. Though it is telling that he does think to qualify that his interest in the dead is platonic at best. That got a chuckle out of me. The guitar sounds great here, and the background the vocals are tastefully applied. Really fun song.

Godz Poodlz - Wake At The Sunnyside: Okay, this is brilliant. Cleverest approach to the challenge, bar none. The music is a fun and faithful expansion of a happy commercial jingle, and your lyrics are entertainingly insensitive yet believable as a sales pitch. I love the echoed harmonies that sync back up in the second half of the chorus. A near-perfect effort.

Tally Deushane - My Dead Goldfish: I like this music; it’s catchy and pretty, though I’m a little creeped out at the evil little girl singing. Actually, I’m mad at her. That aside, your voice is quite pretty and I love your melody, specially enjoying the way you transitioned between verse and chorus by changing the melody over a consistent uke accompaniment.

Ethan Ivey - The Four Year Itch: Heh, so we have another serial killer here, but at least this one is polite enough to date, marry, and allow his victims to live for a few years before he offs them. I don’t get a strong vibe from this song; it’s not pushing any musical boundaries - there’s only one piano part for the entire song, and the vocals follow the same progression except for the spoken-word segment, so it’s not particularly engaging to listen to. I’d suggest changing things up with vocals that don’t follow the piano, at least for part of the song... or a second chord progression for the chorus, or both. I know it’s not a long song, but it would still benefit from mixing things up a bit.

Matt And Donna - Lady On The Gray: Oh, I really like this song. The lead and backing vocals are terrific, and the trumpet is lovely. The lyrics are interesting to say the least, they’re a bit abstract to the point that I’m never really sure what you’re actually telling me; it could be a matter of my own ignorance, but I feel like this might be a little too subtle. I don’t think I’d know this was a song about death without liner notes. It’s a lovely song, and I’m not going to say it doesn’t satisfy the challenge just because I’m not good enough to pick up what you’re putting down, but I shouldn’t have as hard a time as I do to know for sure.

Ross Durand - No Taxes: Excellent. We have another one of our “nothing to worry about after death” songs, but this one manages to run through the list more stylishly than all the others. The guitar and vocal harmonies are so enjoyable to listen to, as well. I love the death and taxes reference, and actually I’m surprised we haven’t seen it anywhere else, but it’s great in this western /folk context. I also appreciate the Monty Python allusion; this song has a nice blend of the silly and serious, the personal and incidental, and it makes me feel happy listening to it. Excellent.

Menage’ a Tune - Isn’t It Nice: This song draws upon the spirit of the most sinister of the old nursery rhymes... the ones designed to scare the shit out of children to get them to behave better. The nursery rhyme musical theme certainly strikes a happy tone, but I find myself horrifyingly enthralled at the story unfolding underneath. I think this might actually be a character study of a psychopath more than a song about the deaths she caused, but either way it is very very dark. So dark that the music box accompaniment might not be enough to pull the song back into happy territory. The character is certainly happy with the outcome of her actions, but it’s still a powerfully upsetting song. I need a hug.

Glen Raphael - When You’re Dead: It’s another “you can stop worrying when you’re dead” song, but his song stands out from the rest because it has such a great vibe. Love the spoons and snare rhythm tracks. The vocal harmonies are complex and confident with shades of Bobby McFerrin throughout. I feel happy again. This one definitely gets the job done.

Doom SKITTLE - A Better Place: This song is trying to put a positive spin on the afterlife, but it isn’t making too strong a case for it. The speaking character doesn’t sound like he’s convinced that it’s a better place at all, actually. There would be a chance to brighten the mood with the guitar track, but you instead went with what sounds like a deliberately negative tone. I don’t think this song meets the criteria, and I might go so far as to say that it never really wanted to.

Wait What - Death: Everyone’s Doing It!: Schoolhouse Rocks: Blue Oyster Cult edition. This song is funny and irreverent for sure. The rap break, while completely incongruent with the rest of the song, is definitely the highlight for me. There are a ton of great pop culture references and witty one-liners here, which I appreciate very much. You guys definitely don’t take yourselves seriously, which can work for you by freeing you up to approach the topic with genuine silliness; it’s not a gamble that always works, but it tends to work on me. **Full disclosure: I’m friends with these guys too. If anyone thinks I ranked them unfairly, it’s probably because I’m judging them on the fact that they’re jerks to me in real life.**

Steve Durand - Die Happy: Glorious horns and a classy old-timey vibe make this song a real winner. There are periods where I’m detecting subtle musical allusions to a New Orleans funeral march, but then goes full-on big band and I can’t help but smile. This is a pure, no bullshit happy song about a happy guy not afraid of dying. I especially liked the “he died happy as my epitaph” and “punch every ticket on my bucket list” lyrics. Nicely done.

Jason Morris - Burning For You: Great instrumentation and arrangement here. You have an excellent play on words here with “I’m gonna burn myself into your mind”, and in this song you also managed to do that thing I love - you’re communicating clearly that you’re dying while avoiding the words that say so explicitly. The references to fire and ashes, normally appropriated for metaphorical use only, work so well here because you structure your lyrics such that they could be interpreted metaphorically or literally, and then the rest of the song supplies the clues needed to see that you’re really talking about setting yourself on fire. These are great lyrics and it’s an excellent song.

Caleb Hines - Haven’t You Ever: I love this song. The piano and epic background choir accentuate the ridiculous examples of conspicuous excess you get to enjoy with your inheritance. The “you can’t take it with you” lyric is a great hook, and you have come up with some genuinely funny material to anchor it to. I like the story you tell here because you’ve created a character I can’t hate. I can’t blame you for enjoying the money, since you’re planning to pay it forward once your turn is up. This is a fun song that I feel good about listening to.

Bryce Jensen - Thank You: Well, this is an interesting take on a happy ex-lover death. You manage to stay upbeat despite the disappointment of not getting to kill her yourself. Heh. Funny premise, and you set it up nicely so it’s a surprise when you get to the chorus. The music is pretty straightforward but the layered vocals make for some interesting sounds - you have some unusual harmonies in the chorus that keep this from sounding too much like a cookie-cutter composition.

Pat And Gweebol - Baby Go To Sleep: This is a really creative approach to the challenge. The Romeo & Juliet story deserves some happy treatment, and you delivered it. Awesome piano that shifts between pop and retro rock, and your vocals are absolute ear candy. You have a great way of describing the love between these two that strips all elements of tragedy from their story. Great job.

The Boffo Yux Dudes - Marked For Death: This is a Monty Python sketch if ever there was one. It sounds like this idea wasn’t completely fleshed out because of the extensive repetition, but it’s a funny set of lines you are repeating. I’m a little distracted by the English accent, mainly because I’m trying to figure out if there’s a specific reason for it to be there and I can’t seem to find one. There is a fun cadence to the song, and I really enjoy the walking bass line in the accompaniment - there’s a really enjoyable mood that it sets, though I think the song could benefit from a change in dynamics just to keep things interesting.

Young Stroke aka Young Muscle - My Name Is Death: This song is all over the place. You’re definitely Death, but the song isn’t really happy. There are a couple places where you suggest that people shouldn’t be scared of you, but mostly I’m hearing a lot of the boasting one expects at a battle. As far as the technical aspect of the song goes, there are a handful of times where you completely interrupt your flow ( “my job.... makes people sob”, etc.), but then you also have a few great lines that flow really well ( “roll down the end of my sleeves I’m skeletal” ). You have sort of a Kottonmouth Kings vibe going on, which I like stylistically, but rap is all about flow and I think there are some pretty obvious places where a little more effort would have made a big difference.

Chris Cogott - Drag Me Down: Terrific happy rock n’ roll song here. The arrangement here is complex without being crowded, and the main riff and musical breaks are excellent. Unparalleled instrumentation and wonderful vocal harmonies. A forbidden love with a mermaid? He dies and gets to be with her in the end? Happy song about death indeed. “But give me some time to learn to breathe in your world” is an amazing lyric. I like everything about this.

Happi - The Next Part Of Life: This is what I was hoping for in a rap song about death. You have a message and you spend the entire song stating your case. The energy is high in all the right places, and “the next part of life” gives the song a place to breathe in between. You take the listener on a journey up and down with you, and it’s a great ride. Great flow throughout. I like the hard drums contrasting with the piano backing track - great arrangement. A nonbeliever myself, I had to laugh at the style change during the atheist break. I mean, of course atheists are death metal. What else could we be? It was a jarring change, but it worked with your lyrical content and I got a kick out of it. All in all, this is a great song with high replay value.

Emperor Gum - Frequency: This song is interesting and engaging; the tempo changes and breaks fit the story well. I really like those ups and downs, but this song spends a lot of its time in a dark place. The first two verses promise a little lightness even though there’s a sense of foreboding throughout, but things take a turn toward the end and I feel like the whole song was dark as a result.

Jon Eric - Birthday: I want this song to play at my funeral. I’m a big fan of the Irish drinking chanty, and this one is one of the most heartwarming and beautiful ones I’ve ever heard. I listen to this and sing along and think of everyone I’ve known and lost over the years, and it makes me hope I can say it when my days are up. This song moved me more than any other this round, just on the merits of the chorus itself.

Hudson And Day - Silly Baby: This song feels a little bit like it fell apart and was put back together at random. We have some powerful vocals and a smokey lounge piano that cruises along, but it’s hard to decipher whether these are two people talking to each other, or two voices in the same head, or what, I don’t know... There’s no structure I could observe and no story I could glean other than a single thought in the beginning that someone’s not happy and she’s going to kill her significant other, and then the song sorta disintegrates. It’s a little too avant garde for my tastes.

Mick Bordet - The Highland Coo Song: Oh, boy. There have been funny songs in the running, but this I think might be the first true novelty song. Okay, maybe this and Luke Brekke’s song. So, it’s funny, but you managed to make it so without really putting any jokes in here, though... it’s all just an honest praise of the animal that’s about to feed you. Nice. The flute (?) solo put a smile on my face, as did the ‘crowd singing’ of the chorus. This is also a song I should not have listened to while hungry.

Noah McLaughlin - Thank You, Joss Whedon: Oh, how I love a good nerdy homage. And oh, how I love Joss Whedon’s body of work, so you get bonus points right off the bat. Zombie Whedon fighting Buffy and Angel? Wacky and yet perfectly fitting. I like your singing voice - there’s a little Neil Diamond in your style. The tempo change right before Joss comes back was a little rough, but the rest of the song was solid. The guitars layered well, and the piano in the background of the chorus was a nice touch. Do a Firefly song next!

David Ritter - Requiem For Bob: We don’t get many bluegrass songs ‘round these parts, but this one is here and it’s great. You went meta for the humor, but you did it with subtlety. And you’re absolutely right that the banjo just brings the mood up. Everything about your performance feels authentic, right down to the slight drawl in your accent as you sing. Impressively done.

Heather Miller - Throw My Anchor Down: Doing something in the style of a slave song seems to be an odd choice at first, but then again this is exactly what those songs were about: they were a tool to distract people from their plight. So while it sounds somber to today’s ear, it once signified the uplifting spirit to overcome sadness and treachery. I really liked the section at 1:25; great melody, nice lyrics here. The song feels aged and hopeful.... just about right for this challenge.

Anna P - Jesus’s Best Friend: Your singing here is wonderful and it’s great that you let your voice take center stage here. I like the narrator’s expectations of heaven, there’s a sense of wonderment and innocence in the lyrics that suggest she died young, and yet the song is truly a happy one. This would’ve ranked pretty highly if it were in the running.

Donutworthy - Signal: Now this is something very unique. There’s a cool mix of shoegazer rock and space FX that sets the stage perfectly for this story. The doubled vocals add to the sci-fi mood, which in itself stands alone in being the only song here that tells of the death of something that isn’t a person or animal. Kill off an entire planet and sing happy songs of the intrepid survivors. Heh, this might actually be the Firefly song I requested from Noah. Great job, guys!

Green Mama Bathsalts - See You In Hell: This was one of the most enjoyable narratives I’ve heard so far. It’s a simple song but it’s an intriguing story. I’m imagining this being sung by Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid; lifelong friends getting into their share of trouble, having that trouble catch up with them, and going out together without regret. I really like it.

Common Lisp - Today Is Not That Day: This song defies categorization. There’s something of a modern/archaic juxtaposition throughout. The vocals remind me of a medieval chant, the treble- heavy dueling guitars have a madrigal quality to them, and the booming drums add to that pseudo-ancient vibe. This doesn’t sound like anything else here and it is terribly, terribly cool. I love the message and I love the delivery. I love the sound. Good work, Paul.

Kevin's Rankings: (the number is how many points you got from Kevin)
Edric Haleen - 37
Bryon Blocker And The Offbeats - 36
Jutze - 35
Godz Poodlz - 34
Ross Durand - 33
Pat And Gweebol - 32
Happi - 31
Jon Eric - 30
Dr. Lindyke - 29
Jason Morris - 28
Governing Dynamics - 27
Chris Cogott - 26
Charlie McCarron - 25
Caleb Hines - 24
Glen Raphael - 23
Alex Carpenter - 22
Inverse T. Clown - 21
Steve Durand - 20
The Offhand Band - 19
Brian Daniell - 18
Matt Walton - 17
Spencer Sokol - 16
BucketHat Bobby Matheson - 15
Matt And Donna - 14
Wait What - 13
The Boffo Yux Dudes - 12
Bryce Jensen - 11
Menage’A Tune - 10
Tally Deushane - 9
Emperor Gum - 8
Luke Brekke, Esquire - 7
Ethan Ivey - 6
Alexa Polasky - 5
Hudson And Day - 4
Gold Lion - 3
Young Stroke aka Young Muscle - 2
Doom SKITTLE - 1

SpinTunes #3 Round 1 Review: Blue


Hi, I’m Blue, from Hello, The Future! I’ve been putting up a new song every week for over a year (we’re at Week 61), so I know a thing or two about constraints and challenges and getting something put together under a time limit.

You can hear my stuff at Hello, The Future! or catch me on Twitter at @HelloTheFuture, but more importantly make sure you check out Mink Car Cover, which is a project I’m doing with a group of supertalented musicians (Mike Lombardo, MC Frontalot, Tom Milsom, Marian Call, Molly Lewis, etc.). We’re covering TMBG’s album Mink Car, in full, to benefit the FDNY Foundation.

Thanks supermuch to Team Spintunes for inviting me to guest judge. I have to say that I have learned so much from listening to these songs (what works well, what confuses the listener, etc.), and so I am very glad to have had the opportunity to judge what I have heard is the Largest Spintunes Challenge EVER. Congrats to everyone who turned in a song!

General Comments About The Reviews (because writing one long explanation is faster than writing 37 long explanations):

First: I am so glad that so many of you get to move on to the next round, because there were a lot of good songs in this group. Seriously. You rock.

For my judging, I ranked the complete song presentation rather than the song’s potential; that is, I considered vocal presentation, instrumentals, recording, etc. as equal to the song’s actual notes and words.

I am a bit biased because I like songs that tell a story much more than I like songs that set a mood or present an abstraction. There are a few songs that I ranked near the top even though they didn’t tell a story (you know who you are), but as you’ll notice my top top choices are all story songs.

Other notes, if only to explain my critiques:

What I mean by “the story is hard to follow:” I mean that at the end of the song I can’t exactly tell you what happened in it; I think it was about this dude who was sad… or… something.

What I mean by “the melody is hard to follow:” I don’t mean that you need to use AABA or anything like that, but I do mean that the melody you’ve written doesn’t effectively set up a collaboration with the listener. A melody has to give the listener enough anchors, either through hooks, repetition, progression, or other similar methods, for the listener to know what’s going on (and, in many subconscious ways, anticipate what’s coming).

To use a metaphor: a good melody is like a good episode of CSI. You start off being surprised and captivated by the twists and turns, by the second commercial break you know the major themes, and at the end you realize what’s coming right before the detectives do.

What I mean by “the vocals are weak:” this generally means a combination of both pitch issues and breath issues. They’re linked, of course. There’s not enough breath behind the voice to support the note, or to support the note at the desired pitch.

What I mean by “committing to the lyric/song:” this is actually primarily an intonation issue disguised as an acting issue. Emotion is carried through vocal intonation (and through breath) and when acting coaches or Spintunes judges get all “you’re not committing!” what we really mean is “you haven’t chosen the appropriate intonations to communicate your emotional meaning to your audience!” Intonation in this case means word emphasis, syllable emphasis within words, dynamic variation, subtle pausing for effect, etc. You don’t have to feel the emotion of the lyric yourself; but you do have to figure out how the lyric would be spoken by someone feeling that emotion, and then use those intonations when you sing.

What I mean by “I can’t understand the words:” I can’t understand the words.

On to the rankings! In order, from highest to lowest:

Edric Haleen: I Hope You Die - You hit all of my happy buttons: great voice, clever lyric, patter, memorable tune, clear story. Hooray!

Bryon Blocker And The Offbeats: She’s Dead - Awesome vocal choice, and great commitment to maintaining it. Guitar and drums are nicely balanced. Memorable song. Yay!

Ross Durand: No Taxes - Great setup and great payoff. Voice, guitar, and perc nicely balanced. A little hard to follow the story; took a few times through before I figured out who Brian was, for example.

Gold Lion: In The Afterlife - Ostensibly I couldn’t understand a word of this song except for “do you believe in the afterlife.” That aside—and this is important—of all the songs, this is the one I wanted to explore thoroughly. This was the one I wanted to listen to 100 times, to follow the guitar, to figure it out, to try to understand what was going on in that background barbeque or whatever it was. Very nicely done.

Pat And Gweebol: Baby Go To Sleep - Lovely. Beautiful harmonies. Charming in every way. I had difficulty understanding the words, but I really enjoyed being swung around by the melody.

Chris Cogott: Don’t Drag Me Down - Nice story and nice singing. Pitch is a little wavery in places, which pulls me out of the song. Good hook in the chorus and very nice use of instrumentals.

Young Stroke aka Young Muscle: My Name Is Death - Hooray for selling the song! Lyrics were completely wack, in the good way. A little hard to follow the story in the verse; loved the chorus.

Alex Carpenter: The Day I Died - DANG I LOVE GRUNGE ROCK SO MUCH did you grow up in the 90s too???? This song would definitely show up on my Pandora. A little hard to figure out what story you’re telling with the lyric.

Matt And Donna: The Lady On The Gray - Nice piano and harmonies. I have trouble understanding the lyric in many places. Trumpet is a nice touch and a little flat. You both get super points for a great melody, though. Yay!

Godz Poodlz: Wake At The Sunnyside - Cute and steady. I hate to say this, but I wanted more suicide humor. The story you were telling was weakened when you backed away from what you set up in the initial verse.

Jason Morris: Burning For You - This song also reminds me of the awesome 90s (BNL meets Blues Traveler?) It’s really really really solid and has a nice hook in the chorus.

Charlie McCarron: Grandma And Grandpa - Nice timbre. Very peaceful. I like the second vocalist too. The lyrics are difficult to understand, but the melody sticks with you.

BoffoYuxDudes: Marked For Death - Yes, very Monty Python. Would have been nice to have a chorus somewhere, so I could sing along; but you totally sold the vocals as they were.

Tally Deushane: My Dead Goldfish - Adorable. Can’t understand the lyrics, but I like the sound of the voice and what I’m guessing is a ukulele. I think a different set of filters or a different recording environment would have helped the song.

Buckethat Bobby Matheson: No Worries - Good voice, solid song. Pitch is a little wavery in the chorus; could have used another take or two to clean it up.

Matt Walton: We’re All Going To Die - Very nice. Vaguely British Invasion. I like the ukulele. Voice is not always on pitch, but neither were the Beatles.

Inverse T. Clown: Caroline Is Dead - You set me up for a rhyme scheme and you failed me, my friend. That opening section has to rhyme or you’ll lose us before you’ve even started. Otherwise solid.

Emperor Gum: Frequency - Pretty. Nice use of percussion and clarinet. Very nice mixture of sounds and timbres throughout. There are a lot of melodic ideas going on but there’s not enough repetition or linking to bring them together; it makes the song difficult to follow.

Wait What: Death: Everybody’s Doing It - Almost perfect. You need to commit to what you’re saying, though. The song is funny, but the vocal line sounds unsure. This is where it would be okay to go over the top.

Glen Raphael: When You’re Dead - Nice harmonies! The melody line doesn’t always stay in key, which makes it hard for me to follow. The bass vocal is a lot of fun, though.

Caleb Hines: Haven’t You Ever - Very good story and nice lyric. I could understand the words! Voice is not on pitch in all cases; not sure if it’s a range issue.

The Offhand Band: All Over - Strong voice, fun backings, nice chorus. Could put a little more breath behind the voice. I like the melody and the hook.

Jon Eric: Birthday - Story and lyric hard to follow. Background instrumentals are solid. I always like a shaker!

Bryce Jensen: Thank You - Nice. Voice and harmonies are weak, but the setup and the punchline are cute.

Steve Durand: Die Happy - Nice trombone! The lyric needs to be sold a bit more; don’t back away from it.

Happi: The Next Part Of Life - Strong voice, but needs a melody somewhere; either in the voice (backing vocals?) or in the instrumental.

Spencer Sokol: Keeping Calm - Nice guitar. Melody is hard to follow, as is the story. Really nice guitar.

Jutze: I Love The Dead - Cute! The lyric is fun too. There are some pitch issues that make the melody difficult to follow, and a few word issues (“bodies” sounds like “baddies,” which would make it a very different song).

Governing Dynamics: Alive Again - The tune is very catchy. A little more breath would help in areas where the pitch is flat (“alive again”). The key changes are in the right place but they’re very flat. I really really really like the bridge.

Dr. Lindyke: Wake Me When It’s Over - Strong piano, voice a little soft in the mix so it’s hard to hear, understand lyrics, etc. I pictured Elton John throughout and now am determined that you must look like Sir Elton IRL.

Alexa Polasky: You Will Never Die - Nice rhythm. The breath percussion is an interesting choice (which means I liked it). The voice is a little weak and mixed too softly to hear.

Ethan Ivey: The Four-Year Itch - Nice piano work. This is one of the “commit more to the lyric” cases; I know you’re telling a clear story here, but I don’t know what the narrator is feeling about the story.

Luke Brekke, Esquire: Cannibal - The melody is all over the place, but it’s a really fun idea. The whole “because he’s a cannibal” is hilarious and perfectly intonated.

Menagé a Tune: Isn’t It Nice - The story here is VERY CLEAR. Thank you. A different filter on the voice would make your sound warmer; and I was distracted by wondering whether you were using a keyboard preset. There were a few rhyme issues where I expected a rhyme and didn’t get one.

Brian Daniell: Cubbies Will Win - Fun tambourine! The mix makes it very difficult to hear the voice. Not sure what’s going on in the song because I can’t hear the voice; something about the Cubs? And death?

Hudson And Day: Silly Baby - Melody is hard to follow, and the mix is unbalanced. The two vocalists are interesting in their contrast, but the difficulty of following the melody and the lyric undermines their power.

Doom Skittle: A Better Place - Dang it, Doom Skittle. I don’t want anyone to be last! Melody and story were hard to follow; mix was unbalanced and there were pitch issues. Don’t come after me! You’re still cool!

SpinTunes #3 Round 1 Review: Ben Davila

Governing Dynamics – Alive Again
• Catchy Guitar. Reminds me of Granddaddy
• Good harmonies in the chourse
• Nice modulation

Gold Lion – The After Life
• I like the conversation and wine glass in the bridge
• Nice harmonies on the shall la la part
• Maybe try to boost some of the low end on your acoustic guitar for a warmer tone.

Dr. Lindyke – Wake Me When It’s Over
• Good melody reminds me of like Elton john

Alex Polasky - You Will Never Die
• Good minimal intro
• I like the the breath sounds
• chorus is catchy but could be bigger

The Offhand Band – All Over
• I like that you are telling a story
• Good Beatles reference
• Reminds me of a song that would be on the Muppet show.
• Nice Billie Preston solo/outro

Mat Walton – We’re All Going To Die
• I love the ukulele
• Like that use death as a unifier
• Loved the laugh

Brian Daniell – Cubbies Will Win
• I love the feel nice groove
• The bass line makes me want to dance
• Fun. I loved this

Byron Blocker & The Offbeats – She’s Dead
• To misogynistic for my taste
• Calling the ladies bitches alienates a lot of potential listeners
• Recorded well
• Good sound, reminded me of a mix of tom waits and the choral

Edric Haleen – Cubbies Will Win
• Very Musical Theater
• I love this song Is but you to should get a divorce
• Good balance of light and dark
• Great vocal performance
• Please don’t kill anyone!
• Loved the ending

Charlie McCarron – Grandma And Grandpa
• Nice guitar
• Nice chord changes
• Good bridge
• Not exactly a happy song but definitely a beautiful one

Spencer Sokol – Keeping Calm
• I like the Tambourine
• I like when the vocals get more intense

Luke Brekke, Esqure – Cannibal
• Please don’t eat anyone!
• Don’t know if this is as much happy as just hilarious
• Original approach to the challenge
• Dark
• Laugh should have more reverb

Buckethat Bobby Matheson – No Worries
• I love accordions
• Looking on the bright side
• Catchy chorus

Alex Carpenter – The Day I Died
• not happy but poppy
• good emo song
• don’t do anything rash

Inverse T. Clown – Caroline Is Dead
• good vox intro
• Dark but funny
• Lost me at the end with the bitch line

Jutze – I love The Dead
• Funny concept
• Catchy chorus

Godz Poodlz – Wake At The Sunnyside
• Catchy song
• funny concept
• nice modulation

Tally Deushane – My Dead Fish
• Cute
• Like the ukulele
• I love this song
• Very original
• Good lyrics

Ethan Ivey – The Four-Year Itch
• Dark but funny
• Good piano

Matt And Donna – Lady On The Gray
• Love the backing vov
• Nice horn solo
• Very ben folds
• Great chorus
• Nice ending

Ross Durand – No Taxes
• Nice 12 string sound
• Great lyrics
• Great chorus funny and sweat
• Brilliant bridge
• I love this song

Menage’ A Tune – Isn’t It Nice
• Like that you told a story
• Dark but cut good balance

Glen Raphael - When You’re Dead
• Cool intro
• Like the spoons
• Cool vocal bass line

Doom SKITTLE – A Better Place
• Nice tempo change
• Not exactly happy

Wait What – Death: Everyone’s Dong It
• Reminds me of the B52’s
• Like the Jim Henson reference
• Very funny
• The rapping breakdown won me over
• I love this
• Love the ending

Steve Durand – Die Happy
• Clever lyrics
• Like the vaudeville feel
• Good chourus

Jason Morris – Burning For You
• Good Production
• Like the backing vocals
• Dark
• Very original consept
• Please don’t burn yourself

Caleb Hines – Haven’t You Ever
• Very musical theater
• Funny lyrics
• Catchy chorus
• Good chang up at the end

Bryce Jensen – Thank You
• Dark but funny
• Minimal but effective
• Good backing vox in the chorus

Pat And Gweebol – Baby Go To Sleep
• Nice piano
• Like the male female vox
• Nice backing vocals
• Very nice

The Boffo Yux Dudes – Marked For Death
• I like the juxtaposition with the stone roses guitar sound with the spoken word vox
• Very funny

Young Stroke aka young Muscle – My Name is Death
• Nice consept
• Clever

Chris Cogott – Drag Me Down
• Clever approach to the theme
• Nice chord progression
• Nice backing vocals
• Catchy chorus
• Reminds me of something from revolver

Happi – The Next Part Of Life
• Nice lord of the rings reference
• Good rhymes
• Like the metal bridge

Emporor Gum – Frequency
• Cute
• Like that you told a story
• like the tempo changes
• Dark

Jon Eric – Birthday
• Great song
• Strong lyrics
• Love this song
• Nice harmonies
• Third verse could be a bit stronger

Hudson And Day – Silly Baby
• Dark
• Like all the different vocals

Mick Bordet – The Highland Coo Song (Shadow)
• Very funny
• Interesting approach
• Like the flute

Noah Mclaughin – Thank You, Joss Whedon (Shadow)
• Like the claps
• Nice rhythm change

SpinTunes #3 Round 1 Review: David Santucci

Governing Dynamics – Alive Again

Nice happy groove. Enjoyed the harmonies in the lyrics very much. In the beginning of the song, the first verse was a little too low in the mix and I had trouble hearing what the lyric was as a result. This seemed to resolve itself as the song went along.

Nice progression, with plenty of changes in the song. When the song started modulating into different keys toward the end, the lyrics seemed to struggle a little with regard to staying right on key and/or staying as crisp as they had been.

I wasn’t always sure what the song was about. Only on my second time through did I figure it out, and even now I’m still not entirely sure that the meaning I got from it is correct. Is it a song written from the perspective of a guy who is already dead, waiting for his significant other to die so they can be reunited?

Overall really nice entry, I enjoyed it a lot. Recording was clean, melodies well defined, good upbeat sound.

Gold Lion – In the Afterlife

Really sexy sound. I like it a lot! Funky and groovy.

My only criciticism is the lyrics were at times a little muddy sounding… Not so much the enunciation per se but the filters or settings used on the recording itself. I’m sure this was a bit of deliberate ambiance, and part of me really liked the “smoky” quality of it which lends itself to the subject matter. But a few times I kind of had to strain to understand what was being said, so I would’ve liked it just a touch cleaner sounding on the vocals.

Overall, a very spunky, enjoyable entry. I could get my groove on to this any day.

Dr. Lindyke - Wake Me When It's Over

Absolutely beautiful. Soulful, thoughtful, in fact uplifting. I would play this at my funeral!! A very positive celebration of death as an inevitable, inextricable part of life that is to be cherished and honored, not feared.

Great use of a few instruments to achieve a moving, full sound. One of the best entries not only in terms of the musicality of it, but especially in the relevance to the theme.

At times I wish the lyrics were just slightly higher in the mix, so they can be heard a little more easily (especially in the first 40 seconds or so). That is my one and only criticism.

Great entry!!

Alexa Polasky – You Will Never Die

I like it! Although, a little bit of a melancholy sound, not exactly a “happy sound” as the challenge calls for. As much as I like it, I have to deduct points for that. If the “happy” wasn’t a requirement of the challenge though, I have mostly only positive things to say about this entry. Nice vocals, nice sound to everything. Nice and clean sounding. I liked the “breath sounds.” Nice touch.

The Offhand Band – All Over

Nice Beatles reference in the beginning. While that made me feel instantly at home listening, it’s also something to be careful of in the future. When making references like this, you can’t make a song sound too similar to whatever you’re referencing, for copyright reasons. This probably wasn’t close enough to “Get Back” for someone to call it a “sound alike” and claim infringement. But always better to be safe than sorry… It’s close enough for me to tell what it was intended to remind me of, so… Just be careful of that when making original music. The last thing you’d ever want to happen is to have a hit--have a song go huge--only to get sued by someone because it sounds too much like theirs and seems obvious that it was inspired by theirs.

I liked it overall, nice, happy sound, upbeat, not overly complicated. Fun and boppin’, and nice keyboard solo at the end.

Matt Walton – We’re All Going to Die

I liked this very much. It struck a chord with me, the awkwardness of life and dealing with other people. The lighthearted sound juxtaposed with the honest blunt look at the facts—that we’re all going to die someday in one way or another—made this pleasantly humorous to me. Not sure if that was the intention, but it added an extra bit of pleasure for me. Made me chuckle out loud actually.

Great entry!! I like the simple use of acoustic instruments, this is a great happy little tune.

Brian Daniell – Cubbies Will Win

I liked the music, the sound, and all, very happy and upbeat. But, I could not understand the lyrics half the time. Too muddy. I think this was a problem with the engineering/mixing of the recording. I enjoyed the song very much in spite of this, but would have enjoyed it even more if the sound of the vocal track was a lot more crisp and clear, and maybe even should’ve been a little higher in the mix so it could be heard more easily. The only time I could understand the lyrics without straining was during the breaks where all other instruments stopped.

Otherwise though, the song itself is well written and I like it very much. My criticisms are only of the recording itself, more than the song per se.

Byron Blocker The Offbeats – She’s Dead

Great humor! Thoroughly enjoyed this!!

Great recording. I appreciate the attention given to making sure the lyrics were not too low in the mix, and not engineered with too much ambiance, so they could be heard clearly. I love your voice!! Awesome.

Great use of multiple instruments for a lot of texture. This tune rocked from start to finish, made me want to knock back a drink with you to celebrate the bitch being gone. Can’t wait to hear more!

Edric Hadleen – I Hope You Die

I liked the humor very much. This would go great in a comedy movie during a montage scene.

Awesome transition from the slow sad intro to the fast boppin peppy hilarious verses!! I chuckled out loud a few times while listening to this. The ending made me laugh!! This was a great entry!!

The crisp clean vocals thoroughly engaged me from start to finish. This recording was engineered really well. Awesome clean sound!

Charlie McCarron – Grandma and Grandpa

This was magical. Beautiful sound, made me tear up, no joke. Wonderful dreamy sound while maintaining clarity. So often people try to overdo ambiance and end up making a song too slushy, and this was absolutely not the case here. You did a great job of making this uplifting and dreamy sounding while not getting muddy sounding.

Inspiring lyrics, and great use of imagery!! This was absolutely one of my favorites. In terms of getting an emotional reaction from me this song took the cake.

Spencer Sokol – Keeping Calm

The lyrics were a bit ambiguous with regard to the topic of the challenge. It wasn’t blatantly obvious what the song was about. Kind of had to search for it. Still, very insightful. I liked the heartbeat, nice touch.

Wasn’t quite as “happy” as the challenge called for perhaps. Overall, a nice entry.

Luke Brekke, Esquire – Cannibal

I enjoyed the humor in this, but would’ve liked it better if the vocals had been a little stronger; I felt they got a bit lost in the sound of the organ at times. It’s tricky getting the mixing right, so vocals can be heard without overpowering everything else, and I felt you could’ve made them a little higher in the mix.

The “because he’s a cannibal” was funny, but lost its charm a bit when it became a little overused in the last portion of the song. Sometimes a little less is more.

“Bucklethat” Bobby Matheson – No Worries

Nice positive take on death. I like it. Making lemonade out of lemons. Interesting choice of instruments (accordion) but it works!

I liked the increase in tempo and addition of more vocals and instruments during the happy chorus.

Great mixing, very clean and crisp, and everything could be heard clearly. Very good relevance to the challenge.

Good job!

Alex Carpenter – The Day I Died

Grabbed me right from the beginning, really powerful sound. Very good recording/mixing/engineering.

Good soulful sound to the lyrics.

My only criticism is, the minor chords that anchor the verses weren’t always very happy sounding, as the challenge calls for. While they shift between minor and major chords, overall the feeling of the song is slightly more melancholy sounding than happy. The chorus is very happy sounding, so I won’t go so far as to say that you missed the mark with regard to the “happy” part of the challenge. I don’t want to give a mixed message here, just thinking out loud. Could’ve been slightly more consistently happy sounding just in terms of the competition. But if that wasn’t a factor, I would say this song absolutely kicks ass. I thoroughly enjoyed it!

Inverse T. Clown – Caroline is Dead

Great sound on the intro!! It was like a cross between Gospel and Barbershop.

Good happy bouncy sound, this song left absolutely no question what it was about. Simple, direct, clean and clear. Such a positive turn of events!! LOL Great straightforward drum fills. Very nice.

Very humorous and pleasantly cheesy. Nice melodies, good recording and mixing. This song had me bopping my head back and forth! Very funny. Great entry!

Jutze – I Love The Dead

Very funny lyrics! Great imagery, really took me along on a story that always made sense and never had me guessing what it was about.

Good clean recording!

As a songwriter, you are very creative. Awesome job!

Godz Poodlz – Wake at the Sunnyside

Nice boppin’ pop sound. Made me want to dance goofy like a white boy at a wedding. I love the creativity of the subject of this song with regard to the challenge--a parody of a happy advertisement for a funeral home… Great idea! In fact this is so good it could actually be used for an extended commercial!! Love the humor of this entry. Great job!

Tally Deushane – My Dead Goldfish

I like your voice a lot, but when you hit your 5th (the repeating main note in your phrasing) it was a little piercing. Mixing could’ve been a little better for this reason. The vocal level could’ve been a little more consistent. Dynamics are good, just be careful that it isn’t bordering on overmodulation, especially for a happy folk sounding song like this. Great ending!! I enjoyed the humor of this entry. Overall I like this song. Just could’ve been a little better recording I felt.

Ethan Ivey – The Four Year Itch

Not a bad song, but it just didn’t quite “grab me.” The eulogy was a nice touch of humor but I was already feeling a little bored by then.

I’m not sure if this was intentional, but if that was a real piano (and not a digital “honky tonk” piano sound) your piano needs tuning.

You have good potential, just needs something more to give it more “punch”

Matt and Donna – Lady on the Gray

Very engaging. Nice chord changes, nice use of the “Ahhh ahhh.” Nice use of trumpet. It was so clean sounding at first it made me wonder if it was a synth!

The song wasn’t blatantly obvious that it was about death; the lyrics seemed a little obscure to me. In terms of just the nice happy sound though, this is a great song. I like it overall.

Ross Durand – No Taxes

Very creative lyrics, good use of cheesy humor without being too over the top campy. Good mix, great recording.

It’s difficult to pull off a raw sounding folk vocal without it being hard on the ears, and you do a great job of having that casual sound while still being clean enough that it’s not a turn off.

Menage ‘A Tune – Isn’t it Nice

A little too campy sounding for me. Obviously you have a lot of creativity, and I enjoyed the humor in this, but for some reason the sound of the song just didn’t grab me. It was almost like a bad comedy sketch where it could be funny, but just ends up more annoying than funny.

Also it wasn’t blatantly obvious that this was about death. I wasn’t led on an easy to understand story.

I don’t mean to slam you!

Glen Raphael – When You’re Dead

It’s hard to do a cappella (or near-a cappella) well. First it’s difficult to eliminate background noise (hiss) with a lack of other instruments. Secondly, your vocals need to be always spot-on on key, and yours were most of the time, but the times when they weren’t ruined it for me a little. (For example when you said “I don’t have a clean solution” at around 1:20.) Doing a cappella is a huge risk and I give you points for attempting it, and it certainly wasn’t bad, but I have to be honest; I felt you just missed the mark a tiny bit with this entry. I have had this difficulty myself with a cappella. It is very tricky to do it and nail it and get it right. When not done just right, it can be annoying instead of enjoyable. Yours was a bit of both for me. But I wouldn’t say to abandon this style in the future; you just need to work on it and clean it up a little.

Good relevance to the topic of the challenge though.

Doom Skittle – A Better Place

The transition after the intro was a little convoluted at first, musically. I felt confused for a moment and then it made more sense.

The overall sound of the song wasn’t happy, so I have to deduct points for that. It wasn’t sad either, it was just sort of… I don’t know, I kind of felt like a lost puppy not knowing what to do or where to go.

I liked it, but felt it fell a bit short in terms of being a finished product. It left me wanting something more; it wasn’t happy and just left me kind of feeling awkward.

Wait What – Death: Everyone’s Doing It

Haha, this song had me chuckling right away. Very funny. A little bit campy, but it worked. You sold it. It’s difficult to be cheesy and campy without being annoying, and unlike a few of the other entries you pulled it off nicely.

This sounded like an expert parody of a children’s song you might hear on some cheesy TV show for kids (until the F bomb in the rap portion, anyway—LOL). Very creative lyrics, good clean recording and mixing, and just the right amount of camp.

Liked it a lot!! Very funny. The transition into the rap totally surprised me!! This song just makes me laugh, really good entry.

Steve Durand – Die Happy

Great use of the brass. I love when people use wind instruments; it adds so much to a song and most independent artists these days don’t do it.

Very creative lyrics! Good recording, great mix, I could hear everything clearly and nothing overpowered the vocals or vice versa.

Great finale!! I could easily hear this song in a comedy movie with Will Ferrell.

Jason Morris – Burning For You

Nice sound. Very happy. Really clean drums and guitar, and good mix.

It wasn’t the most relevant to the topic of the challenge though; I was kind of left trying to figure out exactly how this was a song about death. It was more a song about love and attraction, like the angst of a guy pursuing a girl, and I still can’t quite figure out if it had anything to do with the topic of the challenge at all. So I have to take major points off for that, even though I thoroughly enjoyed the song a ton. Really a shame because this is a great song!

Caleb Hines – Haven’t You Ever

Nice use of humor. I like this entry a lot. Good mix, nice use of instrumentation, nice and cheesy without being annoying.

At times I felt the drums were maybe just a tiny touch too low in the mix, but I think that’s more a matter of personal preference. (They were still there, it’s not like I couldn’t hear them. Just maybe felt they could’ve been a tiny bit more prominent in the mix, by just a hair.) This is a very minor criticism though, and overall you did a great job with the recording and mixing.

Good job!!

Bryce Jensen – Thank You

Very enjoyable. I liked how the drums came in at the second half of the intro and how you added more instruments to build to a full sound. Very humorous too.

I felt the vocals could’ve been just a little more on key during the chorus and a few other points here and there (“the cargo van,” “where the sentencing was lenient,” and the repeat/backup vocals during the chorus). Good clean sound on the vocals, just not always quite as right-on-key as I felt they should’ve been.

Overall though, good job; with just a little refinement on the vocals this could’ve been a great song instead of just a good one.

Pat and Gweebol – Baby Go To Sleep

Nice piano intro. I like this song very much, but the sound of the vocal in the mix was a little too smoky sounding, and so the actual lyrics weren’t as clear as I would’ve liked. I couldn’t easily, readily understand what was being sung. Much more so with the sound on the male vocal tracks than the female. It’s always tricky to get a slightly dreamy sound to lyrics without making the sound too mushy or muddy so that the clarity of the lyric suffers. If I could give you one piece of constructive criticism, it would be just to be a little more careful with that in the future. Both of your voices are very pleasant and easy on the ears, however, so I don’t want you to walk away thinking I didn’t like your vocals.

The Boffo Yux Dudes

Very happy and spunky! I like the bouncy quality of this song and the English accent always adds a bit of cheer. I felt the vocal track had just a touch too much reverb/echo, and could’ve sounded a tad bit more clean and crisp. That detracted from what was otherwise a really good recording and a very well executed song that was really tight.

Overall I liked this entry a lot!

Young Stroke aka Young Muscle – My Name Is Death

Very funny! I’m not a big fan of rap, because so often the sound of the lyrics is abrasive, overly arrogant, aggressive, and self centered. But--I am a fan of this song! Your take on rap (at least with this song) is that of a comedic context, which I always enjoy, and your voice and vocals aren’t hard on the ears so I liked it. I’m not sure if you’re making fun of the genre—I kind of think you are—or if this is simply your style, but either way I like it. It’s hip hoppy without being annoying, which for me is saying a lot and difficult to do.

This song would make an amazingly funny animated music video. I think you should find someone who can do good, funny animations and partner with them to produce this!! It could be a huge hit on YouTube with the popularity of rap & hip hop these days.

Right on topic too. Great job.

Chris Cogott – Drag Me Down

This song grabbed my attention right from the beginning. The lyrics were an interesting take on the challenge; great use of imagery. I knew this was a song about mermaid infatuation long before you mentioned fish parts. Very creative!!

At first I kind of felt as if death was more of a secondary topic to the main topic of mermaid love, but later in the song it took center stage. This was super creative and the way you used death and rebirth in your story was really awesome.

One of my favorite entries!

Happi – The Next Part of Life

This is a really different take on rap. British happy pop folk rap...? LOL Very fresh sound! Really different from almost anything else I’ve heard before.

At times during the intense parts I felt a little overwhelmed by the vocals, but this is more a matter of personal preference; I am not a huge fan of rap and it gets on my nerves quickly, in general. Your rap style is less annoying to me than most, however, so that’s saying something.

Overall I liked it. Good mix, clean sound, all of it works.

Emporer Gum - Frequency

A nice song. Overall, I liked it, although for the first half until the tempo picked up, I felt like it was maybe a little bland and could’ve used something more to give it some pep. I liked the use of clarinet though, very much. And the sound is very easy on the ears.

I did feel though, that the story line of the lyrics didn’t really grab me, and didn’t jump out at me that it was a song about death.

Jon Eric – Birthday

I like your happy take on death very much. Well written lyrics, and good mixing and clean sounding recording. Great imagery! Your song really told a story, and it took me right along with you on that journey from this world into the next. Excellent execution! The out of body experience imagery was a great idea and you pulled it off really well.

One of my favorite entries!

Hudson and Day – Silly Baby

I liked the music in this very much but I felt the vocals did not do justice to the music. They were a little too raw and off-key more often than not for my taste. At times the vocals sounded great, so I know you have the potential to sound great, but unfortunately I think maybe not quite enough takes were done, and/or not quite enough care was given to listen to what you had and make sure you had enough takes that really nailed it. I kind of felt like the old time radio filter sound on the vocals was almost done to hide the lack of refinement on the vocals.

This song could’ve been one of my favorites if more time and care had been taken to make sure the vocals were tight and more right-on-key. It’s really tricky putting a lot of soul into your vocals. You have to sound like you’re flying by the seat of your pants but do it without bumping into the walls as you speed down the corridor of wailing full blast… You have a ton of soul and groove, but just be careful that you don’t overdo the raw energy at the expense of remaining on key. Your vocals need to be clean and on key often enough to make the soulfulness add to your sound rather than detract from it, and I just felt that you didn’t quite nail it with this. Great effort, great song, great soul, just a little too out of control on the execution of the vocals for my taste.

SpinTunes #3 Round 1 Review: Mitchell Adam Johnson

Ranking this many songs was a huge challenge for me.

There are loads of ways to interpret the idea of a "happy" song about death. All of you wrote about death... It was the "happy" part that varied greatly. Some of you wrote happy lyrics. Some wrote happy music. Some toyed with the happy side of sadness. Comedic, serious, straightforward... There were so many different spins on it. That being said, I think all of you met the challenge.

In songwriting, there are two main components: music and lyrics. And because this is a songwriting challenge, well written music is just as important as well written lyrics. As I've mentioned, lyrically, you've all met the challenge. So I decided to focus my reviews more around your musical composition. I hope you find my praises and criticisms constructive and insightful. And remember, my words are only words - one humble songwriter's opinion. They are here to help you on your SpinTunes adventure.

Here is my ranking. These are listed in order, beginning with 1st place:

Charlie McCarron - Grandma And Grandpa
Wow this is beautiful. Such good chords in the chorus. Man - your V/ii chord with the melody landing on the 9th of that chord... amazing. Vocal harmonies... great. The female octave is gorgeous. And ending the chorus with a suspension... genius. Impressive job on the lyrics. Today I woke up with this melody in my head. I think this song takes the cake.

Pat And Gweebol - Baby Go To Sleep
Like your minor iv chords (classic pop songwriting trick - we fall for it every time). Great harmonies. Awesome melody - the notes & rhythms are so strong. Everyone: here is a perfect example of using rests to make a melody catchier. This song gets the award for the best backing vocals - hands down. Well written song, guys! The switching between Pat and Gweebol's voices really keeps this song moving. Nice double tracking. Such a cool piano part - reminds me a bit of The Zombies. Man, this song is filled with perfect counter-melodies, both in the piano and vocals. Pure sugary pop! Love it.

Chris Cogott - Drag Me Down
Yes - energetic instrumentation! This is an awesome song. As usual, you've given us a strong melody with bitchin chords. Your guitar sounds are so cool. Very 60's - keep that up. Great production on this song. Flawless modulation from A Major to F# Major. Holy crap - you got back to A Major with style... So you're in F#... Hit the flat 7 chord (E Major), then to D, followed by an early Beatlesque F chord, back to A.... Damn dude - you really know how to write chord progressions. Love the V/V (B major) chord in your verses. Such tasteful lead guitar playing. YES!!! That was an awesome organ part. This song will be in my head for a long time. Well done, Chris.

Matt And Donna - Lady On The Gray
Great song. Oooh... heartbreaking melody and chords on the verses. Great vocal harmonies. Nice trumpet line. Good god that is an awesome instrumental bridge. Those chords: Bb, G, C, A, Bb, G, F, C... PERFECT use of secondary dominants. Gorgeous. Man - those verses are well written. Love when it goes to the iii chord, and I love the minor v chord with the vocals. Very creative. Wish I would've thought of that progression / melody. I think the verses are quite a bit stronger than the chorus - although I'm sure the chorus will hook loads of people. Amazing job on the lyrics. The Graveyard Book is one of my favorite books of all time. I'm seeing Neil Gaiman speak this week, actually. You really did his book justice. Brilliant song.

Caleb Hines - Haven't You Ever
Infomercial meets Anime meets Muppets. It reminds me of TV shows in the 80's. Hahaha nacho cheese! I like the verses a lot more than the chorus. They're great. You are a good at writing melodies, chord progressions, and arranging. The entrance of the regal brass is well placed. The chord at "So I think I'll take it from you" is gorgeous. That's 'c minor' with an added 6th in the strings, right? Well done, man. Love the song.

Godz Poodlz - Wake At The Sunnyside
Love your summery chorus. This is one of the strongest choruses this round - it's a simple melody and simple progression, but it's well crafted. It's clear you understand the art of writing a hook. The organ adds a lot. Love the staggered vocal harmonies. Love the chords. Love the riffs. Well written song, mate! Really looking forward to hearing more from you.

Inverse T. Clown - Caroline Is Dead
Fantastic chords. They Might Be Giants. Love the cheesy Mannheim Steamroller riffs - especially over the diminished chord. While this song is incredibly goofy, it's well written. Good call on the triplets in the melody - they add a lot. You know how to use little pop tricks here and there to keep the listener hooked - like changing chords twice as fast after the first two lines of the chorus. Brilliant. The lyrics flow perfectly. "Eulogy" and "fool of me," absolutely love it.

Edric Haleen - I Hope You Die
Yes! Sounds like a Disney song. This is such a good intro. If you don't already, you should really write musicals. Love your inclusion of the Ab note - the flatted 6th scale degree is so heartwrenching... you did an amazing job using that. Hahaha - then it just goes all out Weird Al (Everything You Know Is Wrong)! Love the progression IV - V - vi - V/V. So good. And the V/vi chord!! Great modulation. Nice outro, too. Love this one.

Alexa Polasky - You Will Never Die
Ooh cool Britpop vibe. This song really drives. Mid 90's style... awesome. Reminds me of Veruca Salt (the band, not the spoiled girl from Charlie & The Chocolate Factory). This song kicks ass. Bitchin rhythms on the guitar/bass. Great cutout ending.

Wait What - Death - Everyone's Doing It!
I really dig this song. Love the shouts. Very strong melody. I like the arranging/instrumentation. A kid's song... that's awesome. That synth-pizzicato is perfect for this 80's style take on early 60's music. Love the fake horn section. The lead vocals are so calm - it contrasts perfectly with the shouts. Haha - is this the same song??? That rap was really random / funny. Overall, very creepy. I think I would've enjoyed the song more without the rap section - It just wasn't as well done as the rest of the tune. Still, it's a really catchy song.

Ross Durand - No Taxes
I'm glad you included some beautiful chords in this folky song (your b flat diminished chord is well placed - and it's cool how it resolves to a G major chord, rather than the obvious b minor). I love when folk songs are more than three chords. Strong melody on the hook. Nice riff there. Very professional sounding recording - the guitar really shines. Love it.

Emperor Gum - Frequency
This is really cool. I love the synth instruments - good arranging. You are a strong lyricist - a beautiful picture was painted. I love how each part of this song has a different feel... Sometimes when songwriters attempt to write multiple movements, it just doesn't flow. Not the case here. You've done a great job pulling it all together. Reminds me a lot of 1968/69 Beach Boys... profoundly childish music. Well done!

Alex Carpenter - The Day I Died
You should send some music to DriveThru Records. Cool idea for the drums to go halftime every now and then. GREAT MINOR FOUR CHORD. The hook at the end of the chorus is money. Great production on this one! A well rounded song.

Ethan Ivey - The Four-Year Itch
haha - Love the speaking part. Strong melody. I really like this tune. Fantastic lyrics. When you go from e minor to A major - brilliant. Also the little repetition at the very end was a good move. Way to use the happy side of sadness.

Jon Eric - Birthday
Fantastic lyrics on the verses, man. You have a really cool voice - I really dig your tone - its unique and honest sounding. I like the sing-along vibe of the chorus. Ooh! Nice rests on "Here's to a life.... well lived." I also love the hollow Perfect 5th harmony on "Well lived." Good job. No complaints here.

Byron Blocker & The Offbeats - She's Dead
Who let Tom Waits join this contest? That's a wicked walking bassline. Is that a "I'm Only Sleeping" reference (the bass riff during the break)? Great tone on the guitar. Once again, an awesome spin on the challenge.

Governing Dynamics - Alive Again
Great mid 90's vibe. Love the flat VI chord. The trading vocals midway through the tune are awesome. Little bit of a Beck vibe in the vocals. The first modulation is cool - I think the second one might be a bit much... however, I understand that the new key helps paint the idea of "feeling alive again," so I'll let it slide. Vocals get a little bit rough towards the end perhaps. Overall, I like the melody/chords. Nice job.

Steve Durand - Die Happy
The music sounds like Randy Newman. Like Toy Story meets Three Amigos (this is a good thing). Ooh, wicked bridge, man! That was the best part of this tune. That was the model of a perfect bridge. Cool horn bit in the middle. Nice arranging on the horn section harmonies! Nice touch on the vibrato / squealing!

Brian Daniell - Cubbies Will Win
Very happy. Nice simple progression with a strong melody. Could be on an episode of Sesame Street. Fresh instrumentation & style. Love the bassline. Strong performances!

Dr. Lindlyke - Wake Me When It's Over
Good chords - love the V/vi. I also love the V/ii (the A major chord in your chorus) - nice touch with adding the f# note to that chord. This sounds like Elton John writing a tribute to someone. You did a fantastic job hitting the happy side of sadness. You have a strong and earnest voice. Smooth and emotional melody.

Tally Deushane - My Dead Goldfish
I really like your voice. It has a perfect amount of grit. Nice little song. Sweet opening lyrics. Could use a few more chords or a musically contrasting section. Well done.

Menage' A Tune - Isn't It Nice
You did a great job. I really like this melody. "To stay with you to the bitter end" - that part was my favorite - your use of the 7th scale degree is beautiful. Paints a nice picture.

Matt Walton - We're All Going To Die
Definitely meets the "happy song about death" challenge. I like this take on it. A happy sounding tune with death lyrics. The tone of your voice is awesome - it's so pleasant and easy to listen to. It's hilarious the way you sing "we're all going to die." LOVE THE LAUGH AT THE END.

Gold Lion - In The Afterlife
Cool voice. I like how the music is nice and summery, and the vocals are ghostly and laid back. I really like the conversation bit in the middle - it's like Barbara Ann or some Sublime song. Very cool.

The Offhand Band - All Over
This song sounds insane... but in a good way. Actually this sounds like The Rutles spoofing The Beatles. Great faux Billy Preston solo. Would make a great theme song to a kids show. Sounds like the music The Beach Boys were making after Brian lost it (The Beach Boys - Love You). Very cool.

Jutze - I Love The Dead
Wonderful melody/chords on the guitar riff intro. Easily my favorite part of the tune - It's like an 1800's folk song. It's heartbreaking and sweet. The B note in your a minor chord is gorgeous. Nice ii-V-I. The rest of the song is a bit repetitive, but I'm sure that's what you were going for. Definitely gets stuck in your head.

Jason Morris - Burning For You
More mid-90's. There's a lot of energy in this song, that's great. I like the Gin Blossom style guitars. "Ooh la la la's" are awesome. Tambourine adds a lot to the poppy sound. Nice job.

Spencer Sokol - Keeping Calm
I love a male singer with a good range. Seriously, what is the deal with these 90's songs?? I do like the guitar part. Could've used something more - a stronger melodic hook.

"Buckethat" Bobby Matheson - No Worries
Great flat VII chord. Maybe a bit melodically predictable. Overall I like the feel of it. Has a Jimmy Buffet vibe.

Luke Brekke, Esquire - Cannibal
With so many songs for us judges to listen to, I'm glad a few of you took the comedy route. HAHAHAHA Annabelle & Cannibal!!! Awesome rhyme.
Music is decent... but the lyrics are hilarious. Mad scientist laugh!

Young Stroke aka Young Muscle - My Name Is Death
Hahaha... these rhymes are hella hilarious. It's like a twisted Sugarhill Gang. Great old-school rap vibe. The backing track is pretty awesome - sounds like drips of water in a cave. Glad to hear some other genres in this challenge.

Glen Raphael - When You're Dead
I like your style. I enjoy the rhythms of the melody. Definitely an original approach. It's a bit hard to follow, musically. Some parts a bit sloppy. Good hook on the chorus. You've got a cool vocal tone.

The Boffo Yux Dudes - Marked For Death
"Always Look On The Bright Side Of Life" meets R.E.M. Love the line, "The man in black has a jones for your soul." Really funny song. I'm surprised there wasn't more humorous songs with a theme like "Happy Songs About Death." I think this song could've used more of a melody.

Bryce Jensen - Thank You
Love the mix of sincerity / sarcasm. I like the simple arrangement. Nice rhyme on "inconvenient" and "lenient." This song could have used something more. Another section to change up the feel.

Happi - The Next Part Of Life
Nice Gandalf reference. I wish you would've sang more - I really like the "next part of life" hook. This song builds nicely. There are some great references in the lyrics.

Hudson And Day - Silly Baby
I like this chorus. Good soulful melody on the hook. Verses are a bit sloppy at parts - but the rest is pretty good. I really enjoyed the effects on the vocals at parts. Nice laid back instrumentation. The chords are really cool.

Doom SKITTLE - A Better Place
I like the rhythm of your chord changes. Nice reverb on your voice. You could use a bit more instrumentation on this tune to strengthen your song. I like the mood change halfway through the song - It's a nice touch.

SpinTunes #3 Round 1 Review: Glenn Case

#1 - Charlie McCarron - Grandma And Grandpa
Lyrics are bittersweet, melody and chord progressions are both engaging. Wasn't sure I was going to enjoy the delivery of the lead vocal, but it won me over. I would (and likely will) listen to this again. Was in my top three, but takes my top spot because it elicits an actual emotion (outside of irritation) from me: I come close to tearing up when I hear it.
LYRICS – good (2) STRUCTURE – good (2) PERFORMANCE – good (2)
CONCEPT – good (2) DYNAMICS – good (2) SCORE: 10 out of 10

#2 - Chris Cogott - Drag Me Down
Like Jason Morris, Chris Cogott has the advantage of production that sounds professional. There are some good hooks and chord progressions in there to boot. I would listen to this outside of the competition.
LYRICS – okay (1) STRUCTURE – good (2) PERFORMANCE – good (2)
CONCEPT – good (2) DYNAMICS – good (2) SCORE: 9 out of 10

#3 - Brian Daniell - Cubbies Will Win
I'm definitely enjoying the party atmosphere of the recording. LOVE the originality of the lyrics. Very clever songwriting! You knocked the 'happy song about death' challenge out of the park (pun not intended at first.) Perfectly embodies the challenge and runs with it.
LYRICS – good (2) STRUCTURE – good (2) PERFORMANCE – good (2)
CONCEPT – good (2) DYNAMICS – okay (1) SCORE: 9 out of 10

#4 - Alexa Polasky - You Will Never Die
Good, tight sound and production. The breath percussion in the verses is a VERY nice touch that blends well with the subject matter. There's not much I would suggest outside of recommending a bigger shift in dynamics for the chorus. This song sounds very good as it is, but some big, loud sounding guitars in the chorus would have pushed this over the top into the realm of pop perfection. Great song that could use more dynamic contrast.
LYRICS – okay (1) STRUCTURE – good (2) PERFORMANCE – good (2)
CONCEPT – good (2) DYNAMICS – okay (1) SCORE: 8 out of 10

#5 - Jutze - I Love The Dead
I immediately had a good feeling about this song. The opening guitar set the tone of everything that was to come. Vocal performance isn’t perfect, but fits very nicely with the subject matter and the character. Clever song, and a clever take on the challenge. Catchy, too! It’s still stuck in my head when it’s over.
LYRICS – good (2) STRUCTURE – good (2) PERFORMANCE – okay (1)
CONCEPT – good (2) DYNAMICS – okay (1) SCORE: 8 out of 10

#6 - Jason Morris - Burning For You
Stellar vocals, performances and overall production. This song has the advantage of being one of the strongest SOUNDING songs of the bunch, but the chord structure and lyrics aren’t quite as interesting as some of the other entries.
LYRICS – okay (1) STRUCTURE – okay (1) PERFORMANCE – good (2)
CONCEPT – good (2) DYNAMICS – good (2) SCORE: 8 out of 10

#7 - Ross Durand - No Taxes
Very good concept, expertly crafted lyrics and a good structure. Not particularly fond of the lead vocal, but it definitely works for the song. Has a Bob Dylan feel to it.
LYRICS – good (2) STRUCTURE – good (2) PERFORMANCE – okay (1)
CONCEPT – good (2) DYNAMICS – okay (1) SCORE: 8 out of 10

#8 - Governing Dynamics - Alive Again
Nice dynamic shift at 1:45. Nice hooks and good harmonies for the majority of the song. Vocals start to sound strained with the first key change at 2:02, and the harmony vocals become flat at 2:16 with the second key change. A good, catchy song that is short and sweet.
LYRICS – okay (1) STRUCTURE – good (2) PERFORMANCE – okay (1)
CONCEPT – okay (1) DYNAMICS – good (2) SCORE: 7 out of 10

#9 - Edric Haleen - I Hope You Die
Excellent placement of syllables, which is important when the pace becomes so rapid fire in the verses. I was concerned when I saw that "by" was used as the end rhyme twice in the introduction. ("Ev’ry time you happen by." and "That helps me to get by.") I changed from skeptic to believer with the first high note at :56. I could imagine the song as part of a play. I imagine that was the intent.
LYRICS – good (2) STRUCTURE – good (2) PERFORMANCE – okay (1)
CONCEPT – okay (1) DYNAMICS – okay (1) SCORE: 7 out of 10

#10 - Alex Carpenter - The Day I Died
Excellent concept and lyrics. Everything else about the composition is suitable enough to ensure that Alex Carpenter will probably be around for the next round.
LYRICS – good (2) STRUCTURE – okay (1) PERFORMANCE – okay (1)
CONCEPT – good (2) DYNAMICS – okay (1) SCORE: 7 out of 10

#11 - Pat And Gweebol - Baby Go To Sleep
Nice use of panning. Good concept and song structure. Male vocal is occasionally off key. I enjoy the female lead vocal.
LYRICS – okay (1) STRUCTURE – good (2) PERFORMANCE – okay (1)
CONCEPT – good (2) DYNAMICS – okay (1) SCORE: 7 out of 10

#12 - Godz Poodlz - Wake At The Sunnyside
Thank you for caring enough about your composition to make a second mix. The first one really wasn’t even that bad. Background vocals are often flat. Lead vocal also goes flat once the key change kicks in, Love the concept of the song, and the lyrics are clever.
LYRICS – good (2) STRUCTURE – okay (1) PERFORMANCE – okay (1)
CONCEPT – good (2) DYNAMICS – okay (1) SCORE: 7 out of 10

#13 - Matt And Donna - Lady On The Gray
I enjoy the lead vocal. That’s a Casio piano tone, isn’t it? Chord structure wasn’t anything particularly special, which stands out when it’s just piano and vocal with some horn sounds thrown in there. A bass instrument might have made a nice difference. Even then, it’s a good performance for what it is.
LYRICS – good (2) STRUCTURE – okay (1) PERFORMANCE – good (2)
CONCEPT – okay (1) DYNAMICS – okay (1) SCORE: 7 out of 10

#14 - Steve Durand - Die Happy
Vocals are often flat. Adore the horns, ‘though. Love the “’He died happy’ as my epitaph” lyric. Another song that knocked the challenge out of the proverbial park.
LYRICS – good (2) STRUCTURE – good (2) PERFORMANCE – okay (1)
CONCEPT – okay (1) DYNAMICS – okay (1) SCORE: 7 out of 10

#15 - Dr. Lindyke - Wake Me When It's Over
Good, competent piano playing and a pleasant sounding lead vocal. Touching sentiment in the lyrics too, but wait... Was the "Celebrate the moments of our lives" lyric meant as an intentional nod to the Suisse Mocha Coffee commercials of the late 80's? That pulled me out of the song. Seriously, it's all I can hear now. Listen for yourself (at the risk of ruining the song for yourself.) The pertinent part is 24 seconds into the clip. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HgPFXpKf2N4 Overall, a pleasant sounding piece with the right intentions.
LYRICS – okay (1) STRUCTURE – okay (1) PERFORMANCE – good (2)
CONCEPT – okay (1) DYNAMICS – good (2) SCORE: 7 out of 10

#16 - Ethan Ivey - The Four-Year Itch
I love the sound of the slightly out of tune piano. Not ‘as’ wild about the slightly out of tune (flat) voice. The song’s saving grace is the lyrics. Really like the quick rhythm of the first 5 syllables, followed by the catchy melody that follows.
LYRICS – good (2) STRUCTURE – good (2) PERFORMANCE – okay (1)
CONCEPT – okay (1) DYNAMICS – okay (1) SCORE: 7 out of 10

#17 - Jon Eric – Birthday
Percussion starts off out of rhythm with the rest of the music, catches up by the beginning of the first verse, but is still a bit of a distraction. Vocals are sharp in spots, and flat in others.
LYRICS – good (2) STRUCTURE – good (2) PERFORMANCE – okay (1)
CONCEPT – okay (1) DYNAMICS – okay (1) SCORE: 7 out of 10

#18 - Spencer Sokol - Keeping Calm
Vocal goes sharp on several occasions, but I like how the passion and dynamics build throughout the song. I'm a fan of the simulated heartbeat sounds and the tambourine. Sharp vocals aside, it's a pleasant composition.
LYRICS – okay (1) STRUCTURE – okay (1) PERFORMANCE – okay (1)
CONCEPT – okay (1) DYNAMICS – good (2) SCORE: 6 out of 10

#19 - Emperor Gum – Frequency
Vocals are flat at times, but interestingly enough, they never sound particularly bad. The song sounds pleasant, ‘though it certainly has moments that sound far from happy, but I would say that this composition still met the challenge.
LYRICS – okay (1) STRUCTURE – good (2) PERFORMANCE – okay (1)
CONCEPT – okay (1) DYNAMICS – okay (1) SCORE: 6 out of 10

#20 - Gold Lion - In The Afterlife
It's cute and quirky, and I am a fan of the breathy female lead vocals. Not a fan of the way the guitar and drums sometimes threaten to fall completely out of rhythm with one another. The composition is actually quite good, but the performance could stand to be tightened up a bit. I like the concept of the party interlude, but I’m not wild about the execution of it. Sounds forced. A decent ditty, plagued by rhythm issues.
LYRICS – okay (1) STRUCTURE – good (2) PERFORMANCE – okay (1)
CONCEPT – okay (1) DYNAMICS – okay (1) SCORE: 6 out of 10

#21 - Tally Deushane - My Dead Goldfish
Basic chord structure works for the song, ‘though it gets a little old after a while. Love the lead vocal. I would describe the song as adorable. The toilet flush was a pleasant surprise that I should have expected, but didn’t.
LYRICS – good (2) STRUCTURE – okay (1) PERFORMANCE – good (2)
CONCEPT – okay (1) DYNAMICS – okay (1) SCORE: 6 out of 10

#22 - Byron Blocker & The Offbeats - She's Dead
Was there an optional challenge of "Write a song that sounds like Tom Waits"? Appropriately creepy, and fairly catchy. Not bad. Sounds like Tom Waits. Sounds a little TOO much like Tom Waits, actually.
LYRICS – okay (1) STRUCTURE – okay (1) PERFORMANCE – good (2)
CONCEPT – okay (1) DYNAMICS – okay (1) SCORE: 6 out of 10

#23 - "Buckethat" Bobby Matheson - No Worries
Lead vocal often threatens to go out of tune, and sometimes goes flat. The rhythm is suspect, and the instruments don’t sound like they are quite in tune with one another. Thankfully, the concept behind the lyrics is perfect for the challenge, and that is the song’s saving grace. Great concept for the challenge, but everything else is just okay.
LYRICS – okay (1) STRUCTURE – okay (1) PERFORMANCE – okay (1)
CONCEPT – good (2) DYNAMICS – okay (1) SCORE: 6 out of 10

#24 - Inverse T. Clown - Caroline Is Dead
Not the first “hooray, she’s dead” song I’ve heard in this round, and not the best either. I don’t mean this as an insult, but I swore I was hearing Barney the purple dinosaur at first. Good structure, but everything else is just okay for me.
LYRICS – okay (1) STRUCTURE – good (2) PERFORMANCE – okay (1)
CONCEPT – okay (1) DYNAMICS – okay (1) SCORE: 6 out of 10

#25 - Caleb Hines - Haven't You Ever
Lyrics are flat more often than they are on key. Funny lyrics, and a decent song structure, ‘though.
LYRICS – good (2) STRUCTURE – okay (1) PERFORMANCE – bad (0)
CONCEPT – okay (1) DYNAMICS – okay (1) SCORE: 5 out of 10

#26 - The Boffo Yux Dudes - Marked For Death
Lead vocal is Fred Schneider with an accent. Lack of melody means you don’t have to worry about being sharp or flat, but it means the rhythm is even more important… and the rhythm of the lead vocal is suspect.
LYRICS – okay (1) STRUCTURE – okay (1) PERFORMANCE – bad (0)
CONCEPT – good (2) DYNAMICS – okay (1) SCORE: 5 out of 10

#27 - Menage' A Tune - Isn't It Nice
Pleasant sounding voice, but it goes flat in many places. Multiple occasions where extra syllables have been shoehorned into the song, which takes away from the melody and makes the song sound clumsy.
LYRICS – okay (1) STRUCTURE – okay (1) PERFORMANCE – okay (1)
CONCEPT – okay (1) DYNAMICS – okay (1) SCORE: 5 out of 10

#28 - Hudson And Day - Silly Baby
An exercise in extremes. Multiple instances of being off rhythm and off pitch. Some vocals are far too quiet and others are excessively loud. That’s a shame, because there is plenty of personality here that probably could have been focused into an effective song.
LYRICS – okay (1) STRUCTURE – okay (1) PERFORMANCE – bad (0)
CONCEPT – good (2) DYNAMICS – bad (0) SCORE: 4 out of 10

#29 - Matt Walton - We're All Going To Die
Firstly, tune your instrument. Secondly, the vocals are flat in several spots. Lyrics and composition are okay. I understand why the evil laugh might exist at the end, but it still seemed unnecessary. Composition isn't necessarily bad, but the performance isn't necessarily good.
LYRICS – okay (1) STRUCTURE – okay (1) PERFORMANCE – bad (0)
CONCEPT – okay (1) DYNAMICS – okay (1) SCORE: 4 out of 10

#30 - The Offhand Band - All Over
One potential problem with being intentionally derivative: Comparisons to the original work are pretty much a given. This presents a particular problem when the original work is by one of the most beloved bands in the history of recorded music. Even without such comparisons, this just isn't enjoyable for me. A clever lyric here and there, sure. Vocals are often flat and sometimes grating. A valiant effort that falls flat.
LYRICS – okay (1) STRUCTURE – okay (1) PERFORMANCE – okay (1)
CONCEPT – bad (0) DYNAMICS – okay (1) SCORE: 4 out of 10

#31 - Bryce Jensen - Thank You
Lead vocals are sharp here and there. Backup vocals are extremely sharp. Abrupt stop makes this seem like a half-finished song.
LYRICS – okay (1) STRUCTURE – okay (1) PERFORMANCE – bad (0)
CONCEPT – okay (1) DYNAMICS – okay (1) SCORE: 4 out of 10

#32 - Glen Raphael - When You're Dead
I hate to use the term ‘pitchy’ but it applies here. There are several places throughout the song where at LEAST one of the vocals is sharp or flat, and it greatly detracts from the composition. That’s too bad, because it seems like there is probably a decent song hiding in there. The percussion is off, too.
LYRICS – okay (1) STRUCTURE – okay (1) PERFORMANCE – bad (0)
CONCEPT – okay (1) DYNAMICS – okay (1) SCORE: 4 out of 10

#33 - Wait What - Death: Everyone's Doing it!
The lead vocal is better than I imagined it was going to be, but it’s far too loud in the mix. Morbid concept fits nicely with the challenge. The sudden rap was…unexpected, and had some serious rhythm issues which dragged the performance end of this one down almost single-handedly. Funny? Sure. Well executed? Not really.
LYRICS – okay (1) STRUCTURE – okay (1) PERFORMANCE – bad (0)
CONCEPT – good (2) DYNAMICS – bad (0) SCORE: 4 out of 10

#34 - Luke Brekke, Esquire - Cannibal
Vocals are flat more often than they are on pitch. The lyrics are wildly grotesque, which is appropriate for the challenge. Interestingly enough, this is the second entry I have heard with an unnecessary evil laugh at the end. I didn't care for that song much, either. The vivid lyrics are the best part, but they suffer by being paired up with an arrangement, chord structure and performance that are all sub-par.
LYRICS – good (2) STRUCTURE – bad (0) PERFORMANCE – bad (0)
CONCEPT – okay (1) DYNAMICS – okay (1) SCORE: 4 out of 10

#35 - Young Stroke aka Young Muscle - My Name Is Death
A rapping grim reaper? Good concept, but the delivery is absolutely awful. The rhythmic flow of the lead vocal is CRUCIAL to a rap, and this is stale and utterly devoid of character. This actually sounds like someone who hates hip hop, and wants to make fun of the genre. This inspires irritation from me.
LYRICS – okay (1) STRUCTURE – okay (1) PERFORMANCE – bad (0)
CONCEPT – good (2) DYNAMICS – bad (0) SCORE: 4 out of 10

#36 - Happi - The Next Part Of Life
There are rhythm issues all over the place. The lyric “This is a happy song about death” broke the fourth wall and pulled me out of the composition. It’s almost as if it that lyric was meant to be a note to the judges to let us know that you had fulfilled the challenge, but nothing about this composition actually SOUNDS happy. In fact, it would be a challenge to find a composition in this first round that sounds LESS happy.
LYRICS – okay (1) STRUCTURE – okay (1) PERFORMANCE – bad (0)
CONCEPT – okay (1) DYNAMICS – bad (0) SCORE: 3 out of 10

#37 - Doom SKITTLE - A Better Place
Lead vocal is wildly flat for the mass majority of the song. The concept for the song is okay, and that’s about it. Rhythm also seems like it’s nearly an afterthought.
LYRICS – bad (0) STRUCTURE – okay (1) PERFORMANCE – bad (0)
CONCEPT – okay (1) DYNAMICS – okay (1) SCORE: 3 out of 10