It all comes back around to Copenhagen and menthols, huh?
Your instrumentation is great, like the Dobro and organ with a reggae beat, for example. I wouldn't have thought that would work, but it’s pretty slick. Pairing the accordion with "If I were French" made me chuckle.
Great timing. I tried to find one out of sync part, but I couldn't. Everything's right in the pocket.
The circularity of the song is being stuck in a rut; there’s behavior you want to change, but you can’t escape who you are. Also In Blue had a similar take on this assignment, but with very different results.
You were worried about doing yet another veteran song, but your armed forces lingo makes your delivery pretty believable. It doesn't sound like you're pretending or playing at being a soldier, you just are one. Grisham wrote about lawyering; Hemingway wrote about boxing and wartime journalism; Bukowski wrote about drinking. A veteran writes about soldiering, and everything that comes with that. It's a unique perspective and an experience that not everyone has. It's your gift to people who weren't there.
You refrain musically, but the words change (all but the tagline). It's a familiar technique. If it were a drinking song, I'd expect more of a refrain in the lyrics, but you changed directions and took the lyrics elsewhere. It works. You had more to say, so you found a clever way to get the lyrics in.
Also In Blue, "Howlin' At the Moon" –
Wow! You have a truckload of ideas.
You’re not exactly experimental, but well-attuned to stylistic detail and willing to try things. You take risks on arrangements in various styles, using instruments, words, and singing tailored to the genre. Few people can do that convincingly, but you have an innate sense of what sounds good together.
"Howling at the Moon", could stand up against anything written by Joe Walsh or Warren Zevon (Aaooooo…). It sounds like a 1970s classic rock song.
I like the subtle use of reverb. It’s there, but it's more like a small room than a large hall. It sounds like Muscle Shoals or Sun, crisp and upfront.
You might have chosen to manipulate the “Aoooos” to bring them more in tune, but you left them alone. I like that you left them alone. It sounds more human and fits the style.
Lyrically, I like your reference to keeping one eye on the news, hoping it "doesn't tell you where you were"; people don't keep one eye on the news anymore. They keep both eyes on the smartphone.
Down to the last detail, it sounds like a track from a bygone era. I love it! It's total nostalgia for me.
I'm starting to notice you don't reveal much about yourself in songs.
Some songwriters sell their persona with their songs. They have a definite style, even when they’re playing other styles. Maybe it's a character they’re playing, but it's always the same one.
In contrast, you're a stylistic chameleon. Who knows who you are? You write from the perspective of other characters, not really your own.
I suppose there's a strength to both methods. Paul Simon often took an approach similar to yours, borrowing other people's personas and copying their styles diligently. It worked.
It would be interesting to hear you write the other way, though, and reveal more about yourself.
See-man-ski, "Get Back" –
This has power and honesty. It’s loud, but that fits the overall emotion.
Everything leads up to an anguished cry (about ¾ of the way through) that rises in the air and hangs there, soaring like a laser-eyed bird of prey with talons outstretched, before eventually dive bombing the earth as the phrase ends. Even though the entire song is loud, that's the climax. In its own way, it has a sensible build and arc.
It sounds like an angsty 90s alternative anthem lashing out wildly at a specific target. My favorite lines:
"Stop pushing up the daisies on your neighbor's lawn."
"Stop watering the plants with cluster bombs."
Both are direct hits.
You smote that guy, but that's what you were going for, right?
Firefly, "Firephyte" –
I haven't picked apart and figured out all the metaphors and imagery, but on the whole, I think this is a pretty good song.
It's not necessarily a song of total rebellion, rather it's about rebirth and growth. It's the circle of life. It's about maintaining and protecting a community you care about. Sure, there are rough periods that threaten it, but this is a community of overcomers.
It would have been one thing just to say it outright, but you cloak it in this great metaphor about plants that flourish after a fire. When all the species above ground have been burnt up, the seedlings of the fallen plants are left to rise and flourish.
It's a great metaphor for this contest. I want to say that's what it's about, but I've been wrong before, so I'll just leave it there.
The music has a nice build. It's pretty much the same chords all the way through, but each section adds something, so like plants growing, it starts small and becomes something immense.
I didn't really appreciate your voice in the first round, but it's growing on me now. You are a passionate singer, and I can't help but feel what you're singing about. Some of our reviews and some of the songs this round have been pretty negative, but like I said, this is a song of rebirth and second chances. I can appreciate that.
Night Sky, "Leave It On The TMB" –
Again, I'm a fool for your sax arrangement. Also, your lyrics are sweetly sentimental, but not saccharine. There are burdens to be carried between your characters as they walk the path, but the outlook seems positive – the journey is healing.
Also, I like the construction, the circles within a circle idea, each verse returning where it began and the total TMB being a circle, too. It was one of the better interpretations of the challenge.
I'm fine with this track being quieter than the others. In fact, if you ever listen to Van Morrison's Into The Mystic album, the original mix is pretty quiet. Not everything needs to be jacked up. Once in a while, people need to remember how to listen. They can lean in.
For me, your vocals fit the song. They remind me of Dylan's 1980s track, "Lenny Bruce", on Shot of Love. The background is sparse so the simple vocal line and words can really shine.
Your vocals are plain, unadorned, and up front. It makes you sound vulnerable, but that's alright. You’re an awkward guy potentially mending or fortifying his relationship, stepping as delicately and lovingly with his words as he does with his feet along the path.
Some of your imagery is really striking, in particular, the "rucksack" and the "alpine queen”. I don't know if you intended this, or if I'm reading too deeply. These are my interpretations:
The rucksack is a physical burden, but it echoes the burdens of the relationship. It was especially touching that you offered to carry her rucksack, because it meant you were there for her in the relationship, too.
The "alpine queen" in her white gown is presumably a snow-covered peak, maybe at the center of the TMB. If it were up to me, I might have made more of this image, having it represent a physical bearing to navigate toward, but also a standard of love to aspire to. Either way, it's a nice image. The “alpine queen” is beautiful. The woman is beautiful. There's beauty all around.
Saxophones intercede between verses to communicate what cannot be spoken in words. That's beautiful, too. You don't ramble on about it too much, but there's a lot of love that went into this song.
Star Bear, "Chapters" –
I may have said something like this, but your song grabs me in the way a good Daniel Johnston piano tune does. He was a master of vulnerability.
At this point in my life, I can appreciate your words more than Johnston’s. I have five kids, ages 7 to 15, and when I consider them and their struggles, I frequently reevaluate my own journey. That’s the circle. Beyond that, we are all children in the newness of whatever task we face.
Your vocals sound better this time around. The background harmonies help. You also center your pitch well with the piano, better than alone with guitar.
The piano style fits the mood. It sounds dampened (pedal? effect?) and with the slow arpeggios, you really outline where the key is going. The electric guitar does the same sort of thing (arpeggios) except it adds to the volume, so dynamically, there is a rise and fall to the song. It helps break up the narrative lyric style, which isn’t bad, but demands full concentration from the listener.
Thanks, Star Bear! I needed your song today and its message. It was healing.
Phlub, "Eternal Return" –
The logic of a paradox? Is that the circle?
Yes, I can certainly hear Dead Can Dance and, yes, I can smell the incense burning (it's probably those tribal drums and rattles over there!). Yes, it somehow sounds like Coltrane’s “Giant Steps" (if the changes to "Giant Steps" were moving within an octave system of 22 steps!). And, yes, the synth sounds remind me of the '80s Horror movie,"The Keep" (but this track has nothing to do with Nazis or a vampire!).
Your phantasmagorical meat grinder is a buffet for the senses.
I have to call you out on one thing, though:
Melody just invented (discovered?) a philosophical paradox last round ("Virtual Descartes") and now you've written about another philosophical paradox? Is there some sort of hero worship here? ;-)
For me, there’s no problem with the track. I thoroughly enjoyed it. The tuning starts to sound like home after a while, but I doubt I could sing along just yet.
There may have been room for an interlude or something to break up the tension, but on the other hand, the driving tension gives this song its character. A paradox can drive a person mad. To add an interlude or chorus would have broken the circle, but pressing onward embraced the madness.
Hot Pink Halo, "Hexaflexagon"
Without a visual, it's hard to imagine the device you describe, but in music history, it sounds like something used to create indeterminacy. In the early to mid 20th century, Arthur Schoenberg used a similar technique as a composer; not a hexaflexagon, per say, but other ways to take his decision making out of the process, like rolling dice. It's cool to think of someone doing that in songwriting or the visual arts.
Musically, I don't like this as much as "Phar Lapp", but it's still interesting. It sounds primitivistic, like an Orff composition created by some of my students (back when I did a decade-long stint as a music teacher), but I enjoyed creating with them. I'm not belittling your song in any way by comparing it to that. To the contrary, I enjoy simple, stripped down compositions and I try to hold on to a child's fascination with the world. I think it's invaluable to the creative process.
I like the melody/chant, and the things you do with your voice. I like the scant instrumentation. There aren't memorable section breaks, like definite separations between verses and choruses, but that's okay. It sort of plays into the circularity assignment. (Is the circularity the nature of the device and how it is used to create?)
Overall, this is not my favorite thing you've done, but it's not bad (and I've since gone back and made peace with your first-round song). Your style is pretty unique. I never know what to expect from you, and that's refreshing.
Melody Klein, "Too Long" –
My criticism last time to "shorten up" your selection was probably pretty stifling. In retrospect, it may have been ill-advised.
This week, I browsed through your YouTube channel to get a better feel for your live shows. You seem to enjoy taking time to develop and explore ideas, and playing live allows you to do that.
From an acoustic musician's perspective, it was cool to watch you work.
For me, making an arrangement means something entirely different. If I want to play multiple melodies on guitar, I have to coordinate contrapuntal parts with my hands, picking and fretting, so there are physical limitations to deal with. I end up making arrangements based on what is physically possible, not necessarily on what I can hear, because what I can hear is often impractical or hard to repeat.
For you, electronically, there are fewer barriers like that, which opens up a range of possibilities. Looking in from the outside, it seems like it might be easier to create an arrangement unfettered by physical limitations, but I suppose having so many more possibilities could also make it difficult. It would be hard to keep track of it all and, for live performance, it would require a lot of multitasking.
I can understand why you need space to develop ideas. Jumping straight into the vocals without having time to set up a pattern is a little awkward because it denies you time to establish patterns. I'm sorry if I pushed you into doing that. You definitely knew better. Your music depends on having room to "breathe" and develop.
I also listened to some of your other songs on YouTube. I really liked the one for your mother's birthday. The words were direct, repetitious, and understandable. You probably did that for her benefit, but it helped me, too.
I hadn't considered repetition as a way to communicate lyrics better in your songs, but I could understand the lyrics of your mother's song easier because of this.
As brutal as your assessment of the judges was, there were a lot of things I liked in "Too Long". My favorite part was the sparse section with the flute-like melody because it contrasted the rhythmically dense sections before and after. Although this wasn't my
favorite song you've done, you still made a lot of good artistic choices. In fact, everything you did for this competition was good.
Governing Dynamics, "No Matter Who"
I agree with some of this. Action is good. Forward momentum is good, but what does it look like?
I hope I'm understanding the lyrics. At some points, it sounds like a call for uprising. At some points, the uprising sounds like it's on hold. The tyrant could be anyone. Very general.
We live in contentious times. I try not to condemn people on the opposing side, no matter what they've done. Most people generally act in good conscience. At the end of the day, I have to live or work with them, so it's on me to find some middle ground. They may take advantage of that, but ultimately, that will be on them. I have to believe that justice will prevail, but it's not my place to go around seizing it for myself. I'm no social justice warrior, and I'm no good at choosing sides.
In the context of the contest, art can be judged good or bad, but people are precious. They may do things that I don't like or don't agree with, but there's a separation between what they create and who they are. I judge the output, but I'm not going to judge the person. We're all so different. That makes things interesting.
So what's the circle here? The turnover of power, back and forth? It sounds like one tyrant may have been replaced by another.
It's some pretty music you create, regardless of the ideas – the harmonies and vocal phrasing, the pause in the middle of the song, the clean subtle guitars, the reverb, the light drum track; all of it's enjoyable. There's nothing to complain about there. I like your work.
Mandibles, "Home Sweet Home At Last" –
This is relatable. Even though I've never done this with relationships, I have done this with workplaces. I've never been fired, but I get bored and move on, always faulting other people for the unbearable situation, but really, it's just me. The sameness is unbearable, and I come up with reasons to bail out.
The music reminds me of Sandy Denny (always liked her stuff and it's too bad she died before her time). You definitely have a retro vibe with your group, but I'm old-fashioned, so I kind of like it (your previous two submissions get better with further listening). I don't
like this as much now as your second round song, but that could change with a few more listens.
I do think the words are better here. If this song is any evidence, you have a knack for intrapersonal/confessional lyrics, and I like the piano/guitar arrangement, which allows the lyrics to ring out loud and clear.
chewmeupspitmeout, "Ad Homonym" –
A song about being thin-skinned/expecting rejection because it's happened before?
I really like the vocal phrase at the end of the first section, how it falls off into nothing with that great reverb, then gets blasted away by the heavy guitar (that guitar part is awesome!).
I can understand your vocals very well. They're better each round.
As far as ranking your songs, my favorite was Wych Elm, followed by Narcissus, then this one, but that could change with further listening. I could be wrong, but I think you probably spent more time crafting the songs early on, but as you addressed improvements in production and mixing, you probably spent less time on crafting the basic kernel of the song. They're both important.
Even so, there's something to be said for a quick, direct style of writing. This song is the most easily understandable of the three, but that leaves little room for imagination. The other songs are built off of fabulous myths/legends. This one is just the straight up description of an honest emotion.
There are strengths and weaknesses either way, but what set you apart in the beginning was your recasting of myths and legends. Your love of those really shone through in the crafting. I'm kind of missing that here.
Don't take that too harshly, though. This is a decent song, just not my fave of the three, and your recording technique, mixing, etc. has improved over the course of the contest.
Dutch Widows, "Rejection is Hard When You're Young and In Love, But Wait Til You Get Old, Son"
So many rejection songs this round! But you guys do well with everything you put out.
Is that a fiddle, a soprano sax, or something else? I really like it. It's my favorite part, it adds an old time folksiness to what you're doing, but the electric instruments and drum track make it new.
The sentiment is as old as time (and it will happen again and again…that's the circle). I can understand the words, and I can totally relate, emotionally and experientially. Thanks!
Micah Sommersmith, "Ordinary time"
This relates more directly to my personal experience than any other song this round.
I'm the son of a Methodist minister, went to religiously-affiliated institutions for my education, and later, spent 10 years teaching Catholic school and taking part in liturgical planning. Over the past decade, factory life has taken away opportunities for church attendance, but I still believe everything, even if my attendance is lukewarm now. It's the bedrock.
The cycle of the church year brings strength in predictability. It creates expectation in the humdrum of workaday life, the idea that there is more to existence than this keeps us going.
There are hints here and there that your belief is tested by the waiting – maybe faith is just a myth perpetuated by earthly powers – but in spite of that possibility, there is a notion that you're holding on. Every Christian can relate to that. Faith untested is no faith at all.
I like the sparse piano arrangement and your wonderful baritone voice, full of longing and humanity. I would have ranked this tune very high in the running if it weren't a shadow. Thanks for sharing. Thanks for opening up!
