I had a really tough week, so on the whole these reviews are a little less detailed than prior rounds. If you have any questions on my feedback please feel free to reach out on Discord.
Also In Blue - Howling At The Moon
Really fun tune. You built your own circle around the referenced character’s timeline, which made the completion of the circle at the end of the song feel very natural and make sense. I’ve got no comments on the vocals or instrumentation, you have a real firm grasp on this style and your vocal performance rises to the occasion here.
See-Man-Ski - Get Back (to where you came from)
This is such a fun listen and a very effective approach to the challenge. I really have no other feedback, it’s my favorite of yours in the competition so far. I really enjoyed it, it feels well-polished and professional.
Governing Dynamics - No Matter Who
Your guest vocalist brings a nice injection of emotion into this track, while still keeping with your usual style. It works very well here. The gap between the end of your bridge and the start of your final chorus feels like too long of a pause; I probably would have halved the length, and maybe not even brought in that last iteration of the chorus and gone straight to your closing verse to tighten everything up. But still very enjoyable as-is.
chewmeupspitmeout - Ad Homonym
I appreciate the wordplay throughout this tune, it doesn’t feel cheesy or cliche the way you have used it. These are the most confident vocals I’ve heard from you in this competition and they work well in the context of your song. A nice ebb and flow to your instrumentation too, a stand-up tune all around.
Phlub - Eternal Return
Sometimes in this competition we see entries imposing additional limitations on top of what the challenges have already set. Whether that comes from a place of wanting to put forth something unique for creativity points, or to try something new out and get others’ feedback seems to vary from entry to entry, but in my opinion and experience it’s often detrimental to the entry. However in this case, there’s something very primal… or maybe even primordial about this tuning scheme and your use of it that lends itself extraordinarily well to your subject matter and concept. When I look at this from the lens of it being an art piece I’m ecstatic about it, but in terms of it being a song that I’d like to go back to and hear again, it’s just not there for me.
Hot Pink Halo - Hexaflexagon
Beyond the repetition of your first stanza for your last, I’m not sure the lyrics really bring me full-circle, but I do appreciate the creative “circular” approach to the challenge. The tune is rather meditative after a few listens, but before I was really “getting it,” I was feeling a bit bored by the very repetitive nature of the melody and lyric patterns.
Sober - It’ll Be Ok
This sounds like if Jimmy Buffett were in the military. I’m not really getting the circular vibe from your lyrics; I can see what you were going for but for me the tie in to the intro is a little too loose and could have been handled a bit more elegantly. I could have had some more build-out of how things are “at home” between deployments to help the circle close at the end; I wish you had given me a third version of your “chorus” section rather than repeating the “If there were a way” stanza. I feel like that would have helped to strengthen the story for me.
Star Bear - Chapters
The lyrical progression here, while expected, is nice and an effective approach to the circular challenge. The tune itself is very sleepy, and I would have appreciated a more gradual build-up to your “bridge” and final verse. It’s like “I’m an adult,” then someone pressed fast-forward on my life to “I’m a senior citizen.” Maybe that’s the point you were trying to make there, that adulthood just keeps moving faster and faster the older we get, in which case this change is effective, but I think the overall build up to this section could have used a more delicate touch and some finesse.
Night Sky - Leave it on the TMB
This one is cute, and the circular theme is clear. To me it sounds like a retired couple planning a lovely trip to the alps. I would have appreciated a bit more variance, some kind of b-section to break up the repetition in each verse.
Mandibles - Home Sweet Home At Last
The lyrics lend themselves nicely to the challenge. You have a very powerful singing voice, but almost too powerful for this subject matter; you seem to hit your belting stride and then stay there. I think I would have used more emotional variation throughout the recording to demonstrate the emotional changes in the lyrics. Overall the instrumentation and mixing feels a little messy here. There are several points where the piano and guitar seem to be playing at two different tempos and have a hard time keeping up with each other.
Firefly - Firephyte
Meets the challenge in a very straightforward way. The lyrics and melody feel tenuous for some reason, it almost sounds hesitant on a few lines, like you weren’t quite sure where the line was “supposed” to go until you got there.
Melody Klein - Too Long
It’s definitely A Choice™ to not only write a song like this, but to then submit it to a competition for direct judgment, so points to you for putting it out there I guess. Having been on the other side in the early days of Spintunes and receiving feedback from a judge that literally said “I really hate this song,” (that was over 10 years ago now, but I haven’t forgotten it), I understand where the frustration is coming from.
I don’t know whether you have taken the time to go through the other entries from previous rounds and provide reviews, but if you haven’t I’d really recommend doing so to give you some frame of reference. Not every song is a favorite in every round, and as a judge you can only give feedback on what you know. Any criticism or recommendations in my reviews are coming from a point of reference of what I’m familiar with, and what would help me enjoy the song you wrote more.
I saw the feedback you got in the Peer Review channel in Discord so I won’t dwell on it too much longer here, but what I will say is that I find the rhetoric of pitting genres against each other to be so cringe, and overall just generally damaging to everyone involved. This narrator, aside from not reading the room, also seems to suffer from terminal uniqueness. They’re “not like other girls,” and not in a funny self-aware type of way.
Musically the song is fine; you are sticking firmly to your style which is always commendable. My comments are the same as in prior rounds: your instrumentation gets in the way of your vocals at certain points. If that’s your intent then great, but I can’t judge on intent, just on what I’m hearing, and what I’m hearing is a hesitancy to change. You can take feedback however you like, but I choose to accept feedback as a sign that there may be something different I could try, not to appease others, but to elevate my own art to new heights.
The Dutch Widows - Rejection Is Hard When You're Young And In Love, But Wait Till You Get Old, Son [SHADOW]
The vocals drag a little bit, I’d have liked to hear them stick right on top of your cool percussive beat. The melody is underwhelming for me, and the song doesn’t really seem to “go” anywhere. It’s not really a circle, it’s more of a straight line for me.
Micah Sommersmith - Ordinary Time [SHADOW]
I really like the approach to the circle challenge in terms of a year; what’s more circular than time, after all?
Thematically, this song hits the same spots for me as Cohen’s Hallelujah does; very powerful imagery throughout, the concept lends itself well to this stripped down instrumentation of just piano and voice. Nothing feels overdone or “too much,” or “too little” for that matter. Thank you for sharing this!!
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