Reviews from Boy on the Wall are forthcoming. In the meantime, here are his rankings:
UPDATE: Boy on the Wall has submitted his reviews! Here they are in all their glory:
Spintunes is magic. We put a couple sentences on Blogspot and then poof, 20 new musicals came into existence. This round was a smashing success and I hope all of you are urgently contacting the organizers of your local Fringe Festival to inquire about staging your musicals sometime.
Also, Spintunes is vicious. In previous rounds the majority made it through, but this time we’re only advancing < 25%. 75% of you are getting eliminated, and 75% next round as well. There’s that saying about soccer, “twenty two men kick a ball for 90 minutes and at the end, Germany wins.” For Spintunes, it’s more like, “a bunch of songwriters record songs for a couple months and at the end, all but one hate the judges.” If it helps, I’ve been rated last place by at least one judge for songs of mine that I liked the last two times I was in Spintunes. So maybe the shoe will be on the other foot for you as well, sometime.
I doubt this take will be universally popular, but I wanted to clarify one more thing. Some challenges are more compositional/musical in nature (R2 and R4 this time) while some are more lyrical (R1 and this round). This is a conscious distinction the judges have talked about, and my take on rating fairly is to take this relatively seriously. It seems to me that there are ways to meet the challenge that barely meet it, and ways to meet the challenge that are thorough and profound and successful, and the latter should rate higher, all else being equal. I don’t think all judges see it that way, but that diversity of opinion is probably a strength overall. Also to clarify, it’s not about MOST meeting the challenge, as in last round we didn’t reward more tempo changes necessarily higher. It’s about best. But yes, to conclude, I did rate on the consideration of meeting the prompt well to a certain extent and I’m sorry if that feels dismissive to anyone’s hard work in another direction. Musicals tell compelling stories with vivid characters, we need words in order to achieve that, and I was looking for those words.
Anyway I’m vamping to avoid the inevitable. Here goes (again in shuffle order):
Daniel Sitler – Miracle
This song is pretty. Your fingerpicking is lovely as always, and the interplay with horns and strings is theatrical, warm, and inviting. I definitely have time for the little bits of dialogue, and nice performance therein. Also fun to have brought in collaborators, thanks for all this effort!
The vocal performances feel a little unsure to me, though they seem to become more confident later in the song. In some places it sounds a little bit like you two are making sure to hit the notes rather than singing expressively with the same level of performance as the dialogue bit. But I don’t want this to sound harsh, because it’s a delight to have a duet show up, that too between a cat and tailor, and the harmony and melody when “miracle” arrives in the chorus are so so nice. A perfect landing point both musically and idea-wise for this song.
I was wondering a little about the “I want”ness of the song. Not to say it isn’t there, the want and need are clear. But then there’s a knock on the door and he sorta gets the want? Or at least quickly gets a chance that a few seconds ago seemed impossible. So I wondered whether the song should either start with the knock on the door and then go much deeper about how sewing this coat will realize his “wants” or alternately to keep the same vibe from the first portion of the song, the desperation, what his life is lacking, and then the song ends with a knock on the door.
I have you at number 6. Top half. The songs above you captured that want idea a bit better, with a view to the story to come.
Governing Dynamics – Home
This one is a toe tapper. The whole crowd in the theater is bobbing their heads and tapping their feet along while the lead character bears his soul. The “I want” could hardly be clearer or more literal, and it’s like a beam of truth and vulnerability shining out from the stage into all the viewers brains. The “I want a hoooome” melody sounds like wanting, and you deliver it so passionately. You do great little tricks with your chorus as well. I’ve written this many times in prior rounds but I love the combo of spare lyrical phrases followed by busier/rapid phrases. You do this after the two “I want a home”s, and the melody jumps up to emphasize the feeling at the same time. Also dude however you do your drums, they sound great. It’s like tick tick tick tick tick tick you’re doing so many things so well.
I have you at number 5. So just below the theoretical cut for the next round. Honestly you’re at a level where others are above you not because of anything you did but because of the tremendous level of your competitors. One small idea for you is to bring a little bit of that straightforwardness in the chorus lyrics into the verses. The chorus is so crystal clear, while the verses are poetic and expressive but a little more dense and demanding to interpret, especially if you’re imagining them in a stage/musical theater setting.
Phlubububub – Lost with the Plant People
Phlubububub, I’ll say this: I appreciate that you’re not pandering to me. You engage with musicmaking in a particular way and let the challenges show you new twists within that process rather than, I guess, vice versa where the challenge sets the terms. I have to perform a function here where the challenge sets the terms a little more, see my intro, and it’s working against your song quite a bit unfortunately. My music theory knowledge is DIY rather than MFA and as such everything after the word “musically” in your song bio is gibberish to me, I’m sorry. I absolutely honor the depth of thought and creativity behind going to such lengths to literally tune your song to a frequency and feel of longing. But lyrics might overall be a better tool to communicate those things? Or one that could have used a bit more attention here. I don’t get a feel for the characters or desires , and that was pretty core to how I understood the challenge. Does he want to find safety on PNF-404? He does pretty quickly. What does he want to return to on his home planet? Why? Where’s the emotional arc behind that? Sorry.
But look, the synth layers definitely put me in outer space and the vocal performance matches. I’ll say, is Dave Brubeck Take Five a little too close of a reference for the piano rhythm here? That bit was more sprightly and organic in feel I guess, compared to the ethereal remainder of the orchestration. But dude, keep this song, keep doing you. I was wild about your song last round but didn’t click with this one. I have you in 13th place mostly because the lyrics seemed like a real afterthought in (what I interpret to be) a lyric-focused challenge.
Cavedwellers – I Want to be ME
Congrats Truth! Fatherhood is a much bigger prize than anything in Spintunes, man.
This one is a pretty straightforward rocker from you guys, less moody than I might have expected? It feels joyous to me, a celebration of who you already are, right? More “I am!” than “I want” maybe? Is that fair? So to that extent I don’t see the storyline to come nor feel like I’m super invested in this character “becoming a mechie” because I guess it seems like he already did. So on the lyrical side which I guess I’m kinda prioritizing, it’s middling for me.
The wailing guitars toward the end are super strong, though, and for this imagined rock and roll musical the sound is well achieved. I have you at Number 8, in a clump of songs around the middle where the I want seems already to have been achieved but the overall musical package is still strong.
“BucketHat” Bobby Matheson – Goerfeldt’s 3rd – Keep the Band Together
Bobby, your D&D friends are the luckiest. I happen to be, ahem, familiar with a wood elf fighter whose band ultimately didn’t stay together… if you’ve got any spare seats at the table? Lol.
But seriously, I adore this. We have multiple characters, all with clear if relatively straightforward wants. As a listener, you believe that they all can happen and want them to happen. And the combination of achieving all those wants is the overarching want of the whole song and the primary narrator. To do all that? Sheesh, structure wise, story wise, character-establishing wise, it’s a damn efficient and spectacular five minutes.
Vocally, you nailed the Disney-esque thing you were going for, and kudos to your friend for performing Red in a way where their character shone through. At the very end, when Goerfeldt has his soliloquy verse, I legitimately got chills on “they like my silly songs”. It brought the whole thing home, form meets function. Damn dude.
Musically, okay, I didn’t love the effected pizzicato midi string line behind everything, but I’m sure it woulda been hard to program a more expressive legato version of that melody and violin players are hard to find. Maybe dial back the intensity of those hits until you make a violinist friend. The accordion is perfect for a bard, though, and makes it feel like a bard-ly song.
One last thought: Does it feel a little more like a closing song than the beginning per se? If we’re making the musical, I think this one is an ending that’s particularly effective because it’s a new beginning, and you know that the band did stay together for the last couple hours you just watched?
Look it’s my favorite of the round. Number 1.
Sober – Leave the Ladder
Sober, yours is one of my favorite imaginary musicals because the sound is relatively new for the musical theater world, and I so want to see it. Like that break before the choruses come back in at the end, you can just see that as a dance break for this chorus of dudes, right? Do you have that choreographed? I know I praised you in a prior round for “leaving em wanting more” and not repeating your chorus at the end, so kudos to you for recognizing that in this song we needed to come back to it and repeat a couple times. Like I said though, I’m curious about the choreography.
This one needs to be a chorus of ten or fifteen people on stage singing together, especially by the end, right. So it’s a sorta “I want” and “we want” all in one, where the we is almost a whole generation. It’d be powerful in a stage setting with everyone singing this high/falsetto chorus melody together. That jump in the melody feels like wanting, so that’s another big win here.
Your lyrical imagery is great as always. Great central image in the ladder. The to/too double meaning is cool. If we imagine a story to come throughout the rest of the musical, though, I guess it’s… a person’s whole adulthood? So the want is a little imprecise.
I’ve got you at number 3. I hope you’ll get through to the finals. I know I put Brian Gray ahead of you and you felt like this challenge was sorta teed up for him, but dude you held your own.
Brian Gray – My People
Solid in every way. The “belonging” theme was popular, and clearly effective for me because I’ve got you, Bobby, Jim all right toward the top. Can I ask what’s up with the vocal processing this time? You’re moving the character across the stage and therefore across the audio spectrum? Vox were a little muddy for me I guess, could be a little more present.
But dang, your lyrical prowess and sense for theatrical / emotive melody are all on display here.
The variations in rhythms in your vocal phrases are also effective. And the key change is strong as a real emotional amplifier. Actually I’m surprised we didn’t get more of those. I struggled with this for a bit but ultimately I’m coming down on the side that “this corner’a’th’world” is juuust on the side of being a charming clunky line, memorable for its slightly crammed tempo, rather than a misstep in phrasing. It got my attention and got me thinking and wondering if should be a slightly more elegant phrase. But I decided nah, I like it. The hard “c” on “corner” allows you to sing with passion and a person expressing their deepest wish might be forgiven for cramming their words together as they shout them out with heart.
Musically, we’re in a midi land here but the orchestration skill is clear and the interaction of strings and little percussion hits and things all work. It’s easy enough to imagine the “real” instrument version being all the more stirring.
Anyway I’ve got you at number 2, though if I coulda tied you with Sober I would have especially because he felt this prompt kinda favored you. I felt that it was almost the opposite, honestly, like a field leveler where everyone will be playing your game, right. Even in that scenario, you did great. Bobby’s song is above you because it was magic to me.
Stacking Theory – Reaper Man (Everything Changes so Why Can’t I?)
Very very cool character to inhabit, and a vocal performance that brings him to life. Cool vibraphone sounds back there too, and strong production value where more instruments come in to build up the intensity. All the guitar sounds are great, and the many layers of vocals at the end produce a satisfying conclusion.
I’ll say this: “I want to make a new life and make it sweeter”, for me, shoulda been the beginning not the end of the song. Then Death would describe this sweeter life he’d live, in some amount of detail whether humorous or sincere, to show his longing and bring the audience to his side in wishing for it to happen. What would he do? Why does he want to do that? Where would he go? In the ever-delicate balance, it’s a little too much tell and not enough show right now. “Reaper Man, that’s who I am” is not an “I want”. Sorta similar idea to the Cavedwellers song where the character is celebrating who they are rather than elaborating on their want. Anyway I’m going on and on about this but I wanted to know what life woulda been like for him.
I have you at number 11 which I admit feels harsh. You’re in a group of songs from Cavedwellers in 8 down to you that I’d rate pretty similarly as super competent songs / performances / productions but that didn’t stand out in the terms of the prompt (for me).
Jim of Seattle – I’m Not One of Them
Great lyrics again. Damn dude, your mind. You know when to say less and when to say more, a la “she sees”. The sea imagery is great throughout… though haha it seems like you ran out of great sea imagery by the time the letter Q and the dandelion came around? Still clever images.
I don’t know what to make of your bio and long version lyrics. This might be a first – judging on a theoretical longer version of a song with only lyrics provided? I personally think you could have gone for it. Though I know we’ve often punished songs for being too long so I get it.
As I wrote for Brian, this theme of belonging was popular and clearly effective for me this round. That said, I’m not sure your narrator actually wishes he were one of them. Seems like it should be more along the lines of, “I wish she’d see what’s good about me!” Your character wants to stick with the drunk shirtless cheering dudes (or at least thinks he wants to) while Brian’s character in a very similar situation (literally, drinking and cheering etc.) wants to flee to a different place where he can actually belong. Fun to see two songs start from such similar points but express opposite versions of the same want? I have you at number 4, below Brian because of this point I just described but still in the qualifying places in a tough round.
See-Man-Ski – Climbing up the Leaderboard
Dude I’m sure this take will be frustrating to you especially after my round 1 review, and I promise I’m not telling you you didn’t meet or understand the prompt. I do feel that discrepancy again where the music and performance are so thoughtfully constructed and achieved, that too with choices of interesting sounds to put us into the world of your narrator, but then the lyrics don’t reflect the same level of attention or crushing the challenge itself, I guess. From your bio it seems like you had the lyrics right from the start and tinkered on the production for the whole week. I’m a nonstop tinkerer as well man, I get it, but I guess I am that judge who wanted a little bit of a tinker on the lyrics to keep up.
What I mean: we understand the want very literally but we don’t feel it. The lyrics aren’t about what winning would mean to him or why we should care to watch the rest of the musical play out. They’re describing the game, describing the 80s, describing San Francisco. We get info but not a character. He also doesn’t want to climb, I don’t think, he wants to win. What would winning mean for him, deliver for him, help him realize about himself? That’s less clear. If he knows he’s “leaving with the all-time” then there’s also not much story left to tell. More customary would be he’s unsure but wants it, and we want to watch him achieve it. He’s so sure it’s more like an “I am, I know” song.
Anyway I have you at number 9, pretty much level with Cavedwellers, Dutch Widows, and Stacking Theory. The songs above you achieved more of that “I want” feel while still hitting great musical moments. Maybe it’d be more fair for me to have this take if the challenge post put in bold letters, “THIS IS A LYRICAL CHALLENGE,” and I’m sorry if it feels like I’m judging on something that wasn’t clearly communicated to you.
Chas Rock – Job Interview
This is the winner for “just have fun” this round, which I think makes two weeks in a row for you Chas! You’re also the king of inventive drum patterns. Have you been sucking on cough drops all week after this vocal performance? You absolutely crushed it, both in the common figurative sense and in the literal sense where maybe your vocal cords have been demolished, haha.
“OSD means Double YOU” took me several listens to unravel. Clever, man. Lots of great rhymes here too, “torturing / porcelain” being a particular highlight. Overall on the story / “I want” side of the lyrics though, I’m not seeing the beginning of a journey or story arc here I guess. The song itself already spells out this guy’s whole life, possibly sarcastically, but there’s nothing here necessarily to communicate his deep desires in a way that makes us interested to see whether he gets them. Part of me thinks you’re fine with that and you got a cool song skewering late capitalism out of the challenge. And that’s cool too!
But yeah, I’ve got you at 7, right in the middle. Those above you had more story story emerging along with great music. Those below you struggled to communicate a want. No one can match the sheer athleticism of your performance though, and you really are a wiz on the production side. Nice job.
The Dutch Widows – Trapped
You sang really well for feeling sick!
This one feels like longing and sadness, the production as a whole as well as your vocal delivery, which is appropriate for the challenge. And the choice of narrator is the main selling point of the song as well; it’s certainly clever! It’s reminiscent of Spintunes 17 Round 2, What Were They Thinking actually. A good go-to prompt: tell the perspective of the minor character.
All that said though, it probably fits that prior prompt more than this one. The want and narrative are pretty unclear. Does the cat want to live? Simply the chance to check? We don’t hear anything about the life he would live if he does get this want, and something in that direction would help spell out the wish a bit more, right.
The chorus is a real high point of this song though. There are some melody surprises in it, it doesn’t perfectly resolve, and it works above and beyond the story as a concise expression fo existential frustration. Good for a chorus no matter the prompt!
I have you at number 10, right in the neighborhood of a few other songs where the recording is super but I couldn’t piece together the narrative being begun.
Third Cat – Techno Man
This one has a real nice interplay between those synth arpeggios and the guitar stabs. Honestly nice synths and guitar work overall. I like the timbre of your voice too, it sits well in the mix. I wanted slightly more expressive, desiring/longing singing, I think. Right now he sounds like he’s already a pretty robotic man even before the transformation in the chorus.
That “I will become Techno Man, Techno Man” melody is pretty, calming, and memorable though. And hell yes after repeat listens I was singing along with the right voice imitation to that second Techno Man. It’s fun and catchy… but does it communicate longing? I think maybe he gets his want in the middle of the song? It’s all super creative but it’s not fitting the prompt. You almost tell the whole story, it seems like.
I have you at number 12, so very near the bottom. And honestly this one especially brings home the terror of Spintunes round 3 because there’s so much in this recording to love. If there were 50 songs in the round I think you’d still be at 12. It’s furious competition at this stage and I admit I’m being pretty strict about this “I want” thing being realized in the lyrics.
