Preamble
This challenge had lots of possible ways to interpret it, although the title of the challenge had me worried we’d have a bunch of joke songs about stupid people dying. Fortunately, there was some very nice variety in the directions people took - which of course can make ranking difficult. Lucky for me, my votes don’t matter all that much this round. With that it mind, here are all the entries in their original album order:
OFFICIAL ENTRIES
The production is impeccable, and those electric piano sounds are oh so tasty. The melody is not very sticky, and aside from the title none of the lyrics are particularly memorable either, so while I enjoy it while listening, as soon as it’s done I remember it only as that pleasant song about surfing while there are sharks around. It comes across as a comedy song, but comedy songs require actual jokes in the lyrics and not just a jokey premise.
Temnere - In Flames
In SpinTuneses past, your resolute commitment to your chosen genre has ultimately been your downfall, when you were asked to either provide a theme song for the community as a whole (ST14R4), or venture as far from your regular sound as possible (ST15R3). I don’t think that’s a problem here, as you lean into your strengths and deliver an undeniably epic listening experience.
Musically, you know exactly what you’re doing and you do it extremely well, so I’m not sure all that much feedback is necessary. I will offer three comments on the music, two positive and one negative.
Positive: I love the unison guitar+organ lines at 2:40, and the increasing vibrato on the word “done” at around 2:10 is very cool - it’s an effect I am used to hearing on electric guitars, especially in this genre. I don’t know how much you’re actually doing with your voice and how much is an effect in production, but I love it.
Negative: The instrumental intro is great, but the splash cymbal that hits every four beats for almost the entire first minute of the song gets old fast. I tiny thing but something I definitely noticed.
As for the lyrics, the general storyline of “leader fails to warn his people of impending catastrophe” is clear enough, but I need more details to fill in the very sketchy narrative. I THINK it’s about Trump and COVID-19? But maybe I’m projecting my own political biases onto the blank canvas of your song. One more tiny technical note: your use of the word “okay” feels out of place and anachronistic within the more formal tone of the rest of the lyrics.
Jerkatorium - Oh Pandora
Great choice of subject matter, and great title hook - it got stuck in my head instantly and has stayed there ever since. The verses don’t match the catchiness of the chorus (which I suppose is to be expected) and sort of get bogged down in their wordiness and exposition. I do like the Pandora-Eve connection you made, and I think that was very well done.
The instrumental backing is groovy but gets fatiguing, as it is fairly homogenous throughout the song - part of the problem is that there is no melodic/lead instrument until the guitar solo comes in. It also makes the shift from verse to chorus feel awkward and abrupt as the drums change to a new pattern with no warning - a guitar or organ fill or something leading into the change would help a lot.
The bells tolling after “that bell can’t be unrung” are a great touch, but - like your “Ya-hoo!”s in the last round - they’re buried so far in the mix that I they lose their impact. I had to rewind a few times to make sure I actually heard them and didn’t imagine it. If you’re doing something for effect you have to commit to it!
Ross Durand - One Last Drink
This song could benefit from a fuller instrumentation and/or trimming down the length - the barebones acoustic guitar and light percussion, combined with the very standard verse/chorus form, means the song starts to overstay its welcome.
But the story is fairly compelling, helped out by specific and concrete images in the lyrics - the wine glasses are low; her hand on my knee; picks me up by the hair; etc etc etc. The lyrics do the heavy lifting to carry the song forward - although the melody is decently catchy too - “One last drink, yeah one for the ro-o-oad” sticks in my head. Changing the lyrics of the last chorus to reflect on the poor decision is a great choice and wraps up the song nicely. I can imagine this as a barroom sing-along favorite, with the audience joining in for the choruses.
SHADOWS
Glen Raphael - Hand Washing
This is a catchy ditty that I could imagine being used in a humorous PSA along the lines of the army cartoons with the infantryman who does everything wrong. The large number of verses and the same-ness of the music from one to the next means even its short runtime starts to drag while listening, but I bet this would work great as a group sing-along. Too bad there aren’t too many live music opportunities to share it at right now…
Jocko Homomorphism - Minnow (2020) - Marketing Pitch
I’m glad I don’t have to rank the shadows because I have no idea where I’d put this, but it succeeds brilliantly at what it sets out to do. The seriousness of the voice-over really sells it, along with the sound effects of the seagulls and the bell. The “SS Gill Lagan” is so brilliantly dumb.
Menage a Tune - BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!
I get it the joke, and it’s consistently maintained throughout, but it’s just a bit too mean-spirited for me to enjoy (a danger inherent in this challenge). The chorus is memorable, but maybe because it’s almost identical to a polka whose name I can’t remember right now, and the verses feel similarly formulaic. The most musically interesting section is the (maybe racist?) bridge.
Micah Sommersmith - Nuclear
This was inspired by a recent article entitled “The nuclear family was a mistake” written by David Brooks, who I normally don’t expect to agree with all that much, but it was a compelling article about how upholding the model of parents and young children as a self-sufficient unit, at the expense of maintaining strong extended family and community ties, has weakened society as a whole. It’s a great article and my song wandered from the point a bit. I recorded it hastily on the night of the deadline, so the production is… not great, and the flaws in the vocal performance are very apparent to me.
Mandibles - Hurricane Camille
This is just as mean-spirited as Menage a Tune’s, in that it very deliberately finds humor in somebody dying stupidly, but this entry fully commits to wringing all the absurdity out of the situation that it can. The hurricane puns come in almost every line, and the expertly done island-inspired music fits the setting perfectly. I feel bad for laughing, but I’m laughing anyway.
Governing Dynamics - Sink
The melody and instrumental production are gorgeous here - the ebow is fantastic and I wish it featured more prominently throughout the song and not just in the introduction.
The lyrics set the tone and mood very well, although a few lines are very oddly phrased - e.g. “all WILL turn to mist” … “someHOW not well enough”. The song could use some revision of these and other lines, and maybe shortening a bit - the nearly 5-minute runtime feels long to me, but it’s a really lovely song on the whole.
Cavedwellers - Kissing Contest
Sorry, Song Fight is down the hall.
Islam is a religion, not a race; it is practiced by people from all over the world. The 4 men who wanted to blow up a part of Jerusalem were descendants of Iranian settlers to what we now call Palestine. I changed the sound of the song to something more in keeping with the music of that land for them.
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