Reviews and rankings from Jocko Homomorphism:
1 Also in Blue
2 Sober
3 See-Man-Ski
4 Cavedwellers
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Also in Blue
Excellent! The arrangement builds and fades, alluding to your inspiration. I like how the choral backup builds on the second chorus. The stereo work is beautiful overall. You already know where you put the work in, so I don't feel like I need to spell all that out for you here. Hard to see how to improve this. The sibilance at 0:29 is too harsh, I guess?
Sober
Wonderful singing and arrangement as usual. I like how the sound of chains takes over where most other songs would use cymbals. Accordingly, it would be neat to have variations on the chain sound for the different parts of the song, especially the a capella. The subject is a little rote for my taste. You don't need many words to talk about judgement, which is good. Just, there's a lot of songs out there about judgement, and your song concept doesn't stand out amongst them.
See-Man-Ski
This piece is driven by its textures. I like the flute that comes in just under the minute mark. The song a bit start-and-stop, with all the energy being focused on the start of a couplet, and everything stoping for a beat or two at the end. I think it would work better to have a longer phrase in one or more of the instruments to keep things flowing. With all the layers of tonal sounds, I also think it would benefit from more percussive sounds. Maybe more of the fret sounds, and bring the existing drums further forward in the mix, but also additional sounds. Shakers? Fingersnaps?
Cavedwellers
The subject is kinda by the numbers, isn't it? I see how the "one plus one" / "two less one" idea plays in the space we've carved out for this challenge, but that was done better in "Finite Simple Group" by the Klein Four. It just takes a lot to get me invested in a relationships song. That scraping sound in the right ear is interesting. The bass could be more energetic during the verses, especially with how tame the guitars are playing. Shame about the word count. Watch out for time stretching at 1:07.
All the Robots
"Some of the Robots" is a pretty cheeky take on your identity. I particularly like the line "We can't be every one of the robots." I could see this as an interlude on an album, or a short radio/podcast blurb. Catchy, fun, and sweet. I like "Helicopters on Mars" better. A playful, all-ages portrayal of (rigorous, but still silly) current events. The call-response parts are a good fit. I wonder how this would go if it ended with an in-your-face false cadence, "helicopter on, helicopter on, helicopter on Mars!"
Jocko Homomorphism
I didn't intend the chorus to be this much of a shift from the verses. I question how many people will recognize the word eliding when spelled out at this tempo, or at all.
The Dutch Widows
I like the tropical vibe of this song. It just kinda zones out, just like the songwriting days you're describing. For something written in one morning, this came out pretty nice. You should consider polishing it up in the future. The bass drum is a little strong in the bridge, and the drums could use another pass overall. I would add a longer jam out session with more instruments to end the song as the vocals fade away.
Governing Dynamics
This is a pleasant slow jam. You didn't say as much in the liner notes, but I can't help think your lyrics are a reflection on opening yourself to criticism in this competition. The instrumental end is a little long for what it is. Maybe you could keep the bass in longer, and give it some more energetic counterpoint with the guitars?
Hot Pink Halo
A fun etymology bop. I like the pun. Something about the lyrics don't quite fit the meter in the B section, at least when I'm reading along with the line breaks on the lyric sheet. Here's a thought: dub in some printing press sounds! Especially when you mention them in the lyrics. Or if you don't have any on hand, use some other mechanical sounds. I probably wouldn't be able to tell the difference. The ending jam loses my attention a bit when it gets to the 'pit orchestra warming up' bit. This could be snappier if you ended right on the second instance of "you're my type", singing "type" as a quarter note. Maybe follow it with an orchestra hit.
Menage a Tune
I'm not sure what to write for you. After seeing your output from SpinTunes 15 onward, I think that most of my criticisms lie in areas that you are not interested in doing differently. I am impressed with how much "Wild Karen" deviates from the typical Menage a Tune sound. I think it would be improved by leaning more into the playground-chant aspect. Have some more people slapping knees, play the spoons, multitrack the Karen interjections and pan them around. The full singing doesn't really fit the tone of this piece. How about half-singing, half-spoken? Or get a bunch of kids to do those parts.
Jealous Brother
Ah, a round four spite tune. Spite can be a muse. I once got so fed up about rhyme scheme critique, I wrote a song with no rhymes. Welcome to the club! I think you've succeeded at making an inoffensive and bland song. Congratulations? I don't really have any recommendations for how you could have written this song better without making it a different song. Concept-wise, I'd have buried the meaning so deep as to be impenetrable, and really put my money where my mouth is about the value of ambiguity. I get that this is supposed to be aggressively boring, but it's just regular boring.
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Cheers,
Jocko
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