Confession time. For the duration of this competition, I’ve been furiously studying, preparing, drilling, and mock interviewing for a moon shot of a new job. I’d like to feel I’ve given proper attention, consideration, and insightful feedback to every song. But if you feel short shrifted and would like some followup, I have time to do so now that I start that new position on Monday. Especially and unfairly deprioritized were shadows, and I have enough experience shadowing to know that feedback can be the #1 reason to do them. So give me a ring, and we’ll talk about your song!
See-Man-Ski - Super Natural Way
You know, first time through I felt the groove and read ahead in the lyrics, and I heard bouncy lyrics, swung to the groove. Then, you come in with – obviously – your own composition and melody, and it stood in stark contrast to what I was expecting (and thus of course what I’d have written). In the end, I think the slower first and faster second line in each couplet work really well, and create a unique character that enhances the textural contrast between verse/refrain and whatever we’re calling the “it’s because” section.
Part of me wants to criticize the fast/tracks near rhyme. Not because there’s anything wrong with near rhymes, but because everywhere else in the song you leverage true rhymes, so it stands out when read. But the way you sing it makes it blend nicely, so I’ll allow it. I kind of wonder if anyone will hold it against you that there’s nothing truly supernatural about the lyrics, just metaphor. But the challenge doesn’t require that, only a “prominent reference”. In my book, this is a great song that fully meets the challenge.
Governing Dynamcs - Two Different Worlds
Really an amazing soundscape, I feel completely immersed in your song and universe, even though I don’t completely understand it. Plane walkers from D&D, or from a sci-fi novel/series? I’m unfamiliar with the lore, but from your lyrics I feel there must be secret police like the more common time police in time travel fiction, making sure plane walkers don’t do anything wrong? It’s all very intriguing to me and makes me want to learn more.
Arrangement-wise, I’d like to hear harmonies accompanying “you touch the light behind the mirror” and parallel lines, in the same voice type as the melody. I’m thinking open voicing but closer than the octaves you do the last time through. But as to the songwriting of it, I can’t seem to find any notes to give.
Also In Blue - Doppelganger
It may just be because I’ve been listening to their “Don’t Tell Me You Do” album recently, but there’s a specific jazz-inspired, tightly harmonic, tightly-corrected feel to this that makes me think of Rockapella. The harmonies are just absolutely sweet and frisson inducing. Maybe you corrected to just intonation, is that what I’m hearing?
Something about the composition of the repeated musical passage in lines 2&3 of the second stanza makes me really want an inner rhyme. Like if “The hiss of angry static” were replaced with “A signal disappearing”. No idea what I’d do with the second instance of the same pattern; a quick thought about it yielded nothing, but based on previous efforts from you, I’m sure you could pull it off. Also, I know it’s a 2:36 song with a pair of verse/chorus groupings, and that’s very appropriate for a pedal/drone challenge so as not to get tedious. But I’d still suggest a break or bridge between them, even if just instrumental, to keep it interesting. That would likely also break the pedal (though you could fit something like F major over the A), but I think it would be worth a try.
Sober - From Either Side of the Grave
Really nice take on guilt, and REALLY nice decision to go instrumental, switching up the feel and introducing subtle harmonies over that final minute. You said what you needed to say and could have gotten out while you were ahead, but as long as we’re enjoying the groove, why not make more?
Not the biggest fan of the kind of reversed, seemingly forced, grammar that produces lines like “let this anger a banshee make”, though I understand it’s relatively common in music and maybe I need to get over myself. The balance, the instrumentation, the whole production is just great, and I’m definitely going to add this to my list of SpinTunes songs to listen to in the car.
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