Here are your rankings from Cybronica:
Read on for their reviews!
Let me first say thank you all for waiting so incredibly patiently for the reviews. The last two weeks were a firestorm, and when things got crazy, I had to prioritize family and work. Now that I have time to finally write down all the thoughts I have about the songs from round three, I want to reiterate that I love the creativity and talent everybody has poured into these songs. The most important thing in this is not what I, a stranger on the internet, thinks, but what you, the maker of your art, thinks. I also want to give a huge shout out to the shadows- they were 4 of my favorite songs from the round, so always submit one if you can! It’s amazing what you create when you are not bound to the expectations of others!
When scoring this one, I relied heavily on the challenge. Not necessarily on how executed it, but whether or not you 1. Made a connection between two things, and 2. Whether or not those two things were actually unrelated to begin with. My observation was that there were songs that did both, songs that did the first, and songs that did neither.
Now then… If I had a nickel for every song this round [named Falling Down] [that makes reference to a beloved children’s tv show]:
Hot Pink Halo - Gold
BRAVA, incredible, bellissima, encore!! there was never any doubt that you would be in my top rankings, and you clinched the highest rank due to the incredible thought you put behind the concept of the songs, the infectious music, and your performance. You have produced three excellent songs this competition, but Gold is the best I’ve ever heard you sing *ever*. Your body is in the music; I can hear it in the way it feel like you are dancing on every beat. You so perfectly use glottal stops to emphasize the melody, and the high ascending lines SOAR. both of these, the glottal stops and the soaring lines, are proof of the breath support you have while singing this song. You can’t get get both of those effects without taping into your abdominals to help control your air. This is exactly what I am looking for at all times, and now that you’ve really unlocked it, I can’t wait to hear what you do with it in future songs. I love how well thought out your concept for this challenge is. Reading your liner notes (thank you, this American didn’t know about either and was delighted to learn) I could tell you had put a LOT of thought into connecting two things that, at a glance, really appear completely disparate. And, even with an essay of backstory, your lyrics were able to capture the essence of connection so there was a line between the two even before I read the back story. And now the music itself- that hook has been stuck in my head for two weeks, and I’m constantly singing it to myself. Did I mention how sweet and beautiful your voice is on this track? Phenomenal. Tasteful key change, love the backing vocals esp in the final chorus. My only criticism, because I have to cast around to find one, is that the enunciation of “nuggets” in the bridge sounded like “maggots” the first few times I heard it. But, like I said, amazing work, my #1 for this round.
The Dutch Widows - When The Storm Start To Rise
Another truly phenomenal song. This is *exactly* what I was hoping to get when we were discussing this challenge- songs that were themselves extended metaphors where you think it’s about one thing and then you realize there’s a more intense subtext lurking below. This lyric is a powerhouse, a soul bending representation of something truly awful written with beautifully symbolic imagery. “I can’t fight the storm it’s bigger than me, destructive and elemental / It’s a waste of time like punching holes in rain”- this gets me every time. Then the chorus hits, and those backing vocals are like the whining of high winds against windows threatening to break… these, along with the various parts of the arrangements, so many interconnecting lines, is a great sonic representation of a storm. The bridge is the eye of the storm, and the way the BVs come back in before the rest of the orchestration is like the wind picking back up before you get slammed with rain. It’s artfully done. Then, getting to the deeper layer, those lines that are so interconnected yet still separate (hey, inception!) are like the thoughts that race through your head when you are in a bad situation; it’s the constant back drop of hyper vigilance, flight or freeze, working through the cognitive dissonance of gaslighting, and self gaslighting. I love what you’ve done here.
Cavedwellers - Elevator Pitch
This song was silly and fun and I liked the characters having their own lines that came together at the end to have a new line with a new meaning. Some people questioned whether these could be seen as two different things being brought together; well, I think a low level employee and a c-suite exec can be considered rather separate, and it was satisfying to see the former shoot his shot, even if he missed the mark. As mentioned above, I like the thought put into crafting your lyrics; “The devil’s in the details/I’ve heard that God’s there too,” is a great turn of phrase. I like how you guys really got into character. The jocular, “Well! What's a nice VC like you doing in a place like this?” Is great, and I like how the guitar solo was basically the pitch itself. The VC didn’t like it? No accounting for taste lol. And the call and response at the end was ear candy.
Sober - Cheap Wine and Expensive Beer
Every time I order a miller light in front of a new person i get a shocked pikachu face. I have been told I don’t give off “miller light” vibes, but I have my reasons for liking it, and as you so eloquently put it, “it seems to me the ABV’s enough to round the edges off / Isn’t that the point of all this fuss / It shouldn’t cost a fortune to cut loose.” We may be on opposite sides of the spectrum (though I skip the wine for gin), but appreciate what you’re getting at here. From a high level, I’m not sure fine beer and cheap wine are all that disparate for the purposes of this challenge, but if you zoom into the world of alcohol, I suppose they could seem a world away. Your song was bolstered in my ranks because it’s very pleasing to listen to, and I like what you did lyrically. You have used internal rhyme, alliteration, and assonance to your advantage here, and I like when you turn words on their head, like “it ain’t my meaning to be mean.” Reading off the page, the meter of your lyrics is a bit awkward, but you set them to the music in a way that works.
Stacking Theory - Slowly Disappear
This song warmed up to me over the week or so I listened to it before writing this review. At first, it seemed a bit odd, an avant Garde spoken word piece reminiscent of the twilight zone, but the ripply chords flow really well into the chorus, which is my favorite part of the song. It’s a simple yet powerful melody that resonates in a way that makes me take “hopes and dreams” seriously. I love the doubled vocals in octaves there. Because the octaves are two very different parts of your range, the timbres of exclamatory vs. whispery almost seem to clash, but you bring them together well (hey, challenge inception!). At first glance, I’m tempted to say that this take on the challenge is cliche, but honestly I think you did a great job handling the subject matter in a way that didn’t make it sound trite. Instead of silliness, you have it gravitas, and I applaud that. And I have to say this is a great song to listen to while on a long drive; it gets me in the zone.
Pigfarmer Jr - Falling down
I really like that opening; its reminiscent of the FireFly theme song. The orchestration for this song is well done; the piano, mando(? Not banjo, per your bio?), guitars, bass, drums, and everything are really well balanced in the mix, and you have the right amount of reverb on the vox to nestle it in with all the other instruments. The vox in some of your previous songs have felt a little too high, like their sitting on top of the rest of the music, and I think you’ve cracked it with this song. Really well done. Part of that is also how you deliver the musical line in your voice. There is a very slight shift in how you are singing; its a bit more relaxed into the sound. It might be the compound meter lets you have that calm sway in in your singing. I don’t know how to describe it except like this: You no longer sound like you are trying to prove something with your singing; instead, you are just letting your voice do what it does, and its some of the best singing Ive heard from you. Challenge wise, You have two different things (three, if you count the fact that both the house and the pothole are metaphors for yourself), you connect them, it counts. It’s not my favorite connection in the bunch, but it is better than most, hence your ranking from me.
Phlub - War Dawgs
Ok, this is cute, I really like how you incorporated musical elements from both Bluey and Black Sabbath. It’s clever, and I think you did get the award for having the two most different subjects connected. I’m sure I’d call this a connection as much as an AU Bluey episode, BUT its good enough for government work so you get a pass from me. I like the commitment to the bit by singing in a higher range in the second verse. It’s not something that ever bothered me, even before I read the lyrics or the song bio. Playing with the major/minor in the verse is great. Love how the guitar countermelody dances around those changes. That guitar solo shreds, really love that whiny tone you get on there, almost like a whining pup. And the way the guitar wanders around in its melodies, both in the verse and solo, is great. It’s a little unnerving, in a purposeful way, the way war is not meant to be comfortable, I think. I think maybe I would have used a little less fuzz on the vox in general, or chosen a section to have them considerably cleaner, just to change it up a little, but thats a personal preference. While usually I’m all about having unified timbers, here I think they are a little too unified. So much distortion on everything tires out the ear (or at least my ear), and having a clean instrument or a clean section, would break that up enough to make the fuzz have a little more oomph instead of fading into the background.
Glennny - Platypus
At first I wasn’t quite convinced by your challenge take, but I’ve come around. You’re right, the platypus is a strange connection, even if I think “duck and Otter” are close to begin with; it’s similar to what you did in the cavedwellers song. They may seem in the same category, but when you zoom in on their taxonomy, they really are different. That said, I think lyrically, you lost the focus a bit. The OWCA, while kinda funny, is not necessary for this song. Although now that I’m googling, I see its a phineas and ferb reference, and not something you made up for the song… still, I think you could have stuck with talking about the animals without bringing in the tv show. It kinda muddies the waters. My favorite part of the song is when the inst’s drop out at the end and we get to hear you sing in parts. I still would like less processing on your vocals, cause you have a good a good ear for melody and harmonies, and I’d like to hear them in your more natural voice.
Jealous Brother - Guitar Picks and Nail Clippers
So your two things are… Guitar Picks and Nail Clippers. Ok, those are different. I am, however, not satisfied by how you brought them together. The narrator could have had any two things in their hands when she kicked them out, so there’s not really anything interesting (to me) about how you brought them together. It could have been improved if you found something about the two objects that tied back to your situation (I never would have picked this for myself / Maybe I could have nailed it with somebody else), but instead you just had a list of faults & property damage and a trip to the bar- a classic song story for sure, but its been done. Also, since you had the option to have any two random objects be your final possessions in this world, you as the songwriter could have chosen two objects that were less phonetically awkward to sing. The way you set them (guiTAAAARR PICKS and NAY-el clippers) is not particularly smooth. Again, for how the song was written, you could replace those with any two things and it would not have really changed anything. On the whole, the song is jaunty and would be fun to have playing in the background at a dive bar, and I love the instrumental sections a lot, especially that riff you have repeat like a jumping vinyl. The fun sound wasn’t enough to save you though, especially with all that dead air at the start of the track.
Tunes By LJ - Morning Water
As always, the song sounds sumptuous. I love that sound of the epiano, and the whole ensemble is well mixed, especially those reverse reverb transitions. You have too much processing on the vox, though. An over ambitious pitch correction, and so much compression I lose the shape of your voice. I do love what you did with reverb, especially at the end, but in general, the vox feel almost erased by what you did to it. I can’t hear the lyrics even when I’m specifically listening to them. It’s too smooth. I realize its a smooth Jazz song, but you wen a little far with the vox. As for your ranking, the challenge is where you lost most of your points with me. You connected water with water. Bodily function with bodily function. And that’s just based on the song bio. I never would have gotten that from the lyrics, which, while flowery, full of imagery, and with a good metrical flow, don’t paint much of a cohesive picture. It wasn’t until I read the bio that I saw it was about grief, and the music is… not grieving. The music flows like water, sure, but theres no grief that I hear there.
Jim Tyrrell - Salt
At first I thought you had added the cafe ambience to the song in post, and thought, “that’s an odd choice,” but now I see you added the piano and bass in post to a live recording, which, nice! But the audience chatter is really distracting and makes this song hard to listen to. I’m not sure if the live recording was a choice, or if you didnt have time to do a full take, but I think I would have taken the time to do a new take if I were you. The live recording doesn’t hide the occasional pitchiness in your voice, so if you were worried you’d have to take time to process your vox in a home recording, I say the raw home recording sans chatter would have been a step up. I like the whistle, and the piano is lovely. The piano is really important to this song being listenable. Since it was added later, the clean recording is a relief to the ear. However, that’s a double edged sword, because upon additional listens, the piano is very clearly not of the same recording quality (its better), and is the reason why I originally thought the ambience was added in post. Now, for the challenge: At first i felt you didn’t really tie two unrelated things together. Now, however, allow me to enby-splain your song to you (joke), I think the two disparate thing you brought together were the salt of the ocean and the saltiness of the old man’s (and later the young man’s) disposition. Its a really cool dramatic line to draw, and I really do appreciate it from a song writing standpoint, but I don’t think it quite fit the brief for this round. Still, this is a great song and I would enjoy listening to it at a restaurant during live music night!
GFS - Falling Down
I love the ear candy in this song, esp that panned reverb bouncing back and forth between my ears. Your singing is lovely, the vocal harmonies are sumptuous, I love the musical direction of the song, but the challenge isn’t there. You link rain with… nothing, as far as I can tell. Elsa with Noah? Someone you made up with a biblical figure? At first I thought it was Elsa from Frozen, but I think I was wrong about that. I just dont think you did the challenge at all. Hey, you got a great song out of it! And I hope you’re doing a shadow for round 4 because I want to hear more from you, but I had to ding you pretty hard for the challenge. Im amazed at how well this song came out given the difficulties you cited in your song bio, and commend you for getting it done. Remote songwriting is always an adventure, and you seem to be doing it while on a european adventure! I will say, I love the message of the song that while you might be one person’s everything while another person can’t stand the thought of you; despite that, you are who you are, you make the make you make on the world regardless of what others think of you. It’s a beautiful sentiment.
The Pannacotta Army - Elephant
I reeeeeeaally wich you had written a song bio, because I’m not getting a second thing to connect to the elephant. It took me far too long to realize this was an “elephant in the room” situation, and even by then, I think that phrase is a bit too colloquially in use to say that you are connecting climate change with an elephant. It’s a turn of phrase rather than connecting two things in an interesting and satisfying way. Put it another way, using a common phrase is not interesting or satisfying. That said, oooooh love that groove! The bass line is so good, I love what you are doing there. The bossa nova feel makes me dance in my seat. I like the backing vocals as the punctuation they are. Your singing is sweet, but you pull your punches, so to speak. LIke on the high note of pachyderm, you lose all breath support you had going for it, and the voice just fizzles away, lost in the mix. So, what’s causing this? I think in trying to keep that sweet sound, you are over compensating by making NOTHING loud, keeping everything in head voice. Thing is, head voice (not falsetto, and yes men/AMAB singers have head voice) can be powerful, it can be sweet, and it can be both at the same time. Since these songs are multi tracks, take advantage of the fact that you can sing as supported as you need, and then fix the volume levels in post. Like I always yell at the tv when drag race is doing a singing challenge: You can fix wrong notes and wrong rhythms in post. What you can fix is style and intention- if you’re nervous and unconfident that will come across, and if you let your support fall away, that can’t be fixed with any amount of compression and gain boost.
Hall of Fame
Mandrake - River Flow (SHADOW)
Let me first say: You took the feedback on the vocals! And they are way improved! It’s a lot easier to hear this song than your previous two because your voice is much more audible, and you have a lovely singing voice (love that reverby moment at the end). Thank you for sharing it with us! As you get more experience recording and mixing, it will continue to improve, and I hope you have fun in the process of figuring it all out. This song is so sweet, and reading the lyrics made me tear up a bit. You’ve successfully written yet another song that feels like you’re describing a sentiment from my own brain. The music is so lovely, it really does feel like I’m watching a brook babble along in front of me as I stop to rest while on a hike. The ripples of reverby vibraphone synth, the plinks that evoke pebbles at the river bed, and that white noise floosh of sound… its excellently orchestrated. Love the meter changes! Especially that 5/4 in the chorus, makes me want to dance in a blissful way. I also like how you switch between modalities, but I think that picardy third at the end is a bit forced. I realize it might feel de rigeur, but I’ll say to you what my old composition teacher told me about a big C major chord I put at the end of a similarly key’d piece I wrote in college: the final chord makes me take the song less seriously. It’s like you are forcing a joker-face grin ending on something that wants a contented half smile. There’s sadness and loneliness mixed into the music of this song that makes the compliments and happy moments all the more powerful. That final chord kinda feels like toxic positivity wanting to erase any bad or ambiguous feelings. A fade out might work better, like the song is flowing away down the river…
Siebass - Ambulance
This song is just plain FUN. Love the modal mixture you do. That chunking chord texture, your charismatic spoken word bridge, that tremolo trill in the guitar at the end; I love listening to this song and always looked forward to it on the playlist. The premise is goofy. I have no idea how i’d take this challenge wise if you were in the competition so I’m low key glad i dont have to judge you on it and can just enjoy what you’ve created here. The “We’ve all got legs” section is funny. The whole song is so dramatic and builds and builds to this moment, and you deliver it with such keyed up confident vocals! Ok, so I had promised you some singing tips. First, you sound way better in this song than your second round entry, and its because you are doing some of the things I was going to recommend you do anyway, so good work! Keep at it, and understand you may already know what Im about to say. In Home, you lean on your voice so hard to give it that affected tone, supporting all the sound with the musculature of your neck, squeezing with your throat, and not letting the larynx relax. Long term, this is the strain I am concerned could create a problem like chronic hoarseness. What I recommend is that you use more of your breath to support, shape, and color your voice rather than throat tension. There’re some exercises to do this (see below), but I see also you could put on a persona of a big confident gregarious goofy guy, and that naturally primes you, Siebass, to sing in a more healthy and pleasing way. Now, here are your breath exercises:
For each of these, expand your rib cage and inhale into your belly. Exhale by pushing in with your abdominals while keeping your ribs expanded.You can put a hand on your belly to make sure youre pulling in with your abs and a hand on your rib cage to make sure you dont collapse.
1. Straw - Blown: Take a regular straw (not for boba, not a stir stick) and blow a steady stream of air through it. Point it at your hand so you have somatic feedback of how hard you are blowing; you dont want it to sometimes be harder and sometimes softer, just always the same pressure. On your regular deep breath, try to evenly exhale all the air for 4 beats. Then 6 beats, then 8 beats, then 10 and maybe up to 12 beats. Each time you increase the number of beats, make sure you have the air blowing as evenly as possible before moving on to the next.
2. Unvoiced Fricatives: On a [f], [s], or [θ] (that’s an unvoiced ‘th’ like at the end of ‘math’), blow out an even stream of air. Make the stream of air as even as possible, without any changes in volume. As with the straw, exhale in 4/6/8/etc beats.
3. Voiced Fricatives: On a pitch that is comfortable in your range, phonate a [v], [z], or [ð] (that’s a voiced ‘th’ like at the start of ‘this’) at a steady rate. Make the sound as even as possible, without any changes in volume or pitch. As with the previous 2, practice using the 4/6/8/etc beats. You can also do some basic warm ups on these voiced fricatives.
4. Straw - Sung: Take a vocal warm up or the melody of the song you are working on and sing/hum the tune through a regularly sized straw. Make sure as you sing it, the tone is even and the breath is steady.
Hope this helps!
Ominous Ride - Willard and Karma (SHADOW)
Man, I love this story. Hey, Chevy Nova in the first act, it’ll go off in the third, right? It is well written and dramatically has a great arc. This is a classic folk rock song. I’m getting Simon & Garfunkle vibes. This is well sung, well played, and mixed well. I expect this song to be on a CD my parents had sitting around as I was growing up. I dont really have many notes, sorry for the scant review… it’s just really good. Love the organ that comes in at the bridge and the different texture it brings with it. I adore how you bring the rest of the band back in for the ending, fading it in like that is brilliant. Those final lines are also brilliant. Great song.
nightingale's fiddle - Baseball (SHADOW)
AAUUGGH I LOVE THIS SONG. Your harp playing is so good, so rock and roll. Those alternating chords in the transitions between sections? They make me want to dance! I wanna rock out! Your singing is similarly great. That high note in the verse? That long held note at the end? WOO i love it! You have an amazing singing voice, beautiful and clear and unabashed in your enthusiastic delivery. I love love love your voice here. The bass coming in like that ramps it up, as does that drum machine. You have a great sense of orchestration in this song so that the build into the climax is incredibly satisfying. As I’m sure you know, your biggest drawback in this song is the balance. It is improving from your last entries, but still has a ways to go. If you are recording your vox and harp at the same time with the same mic, I would rec putting the mic way closer to your face because your quieter vocal moments are getting lost. Preferably, I’d love for you to have two mics, one for the harp, one for your voice, or even record them separately (although recording them separately might take away from the thrill of the moment for you, and I wouldn’t want that to be lost). Then, when the bass and drum machine come in, they are waaaay too loud in the mix, and even though they are vital to the texture, I lose more of your voice under the layers. I love this song and hope someday this demo can get the full recording treatment.
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