Here are your rankings from EmKayDeeBee:
Read on for EmKayDeeBee's reviews!
General thoughts:
This round is hard to judge, and awfully subjective. I listened first without any bios in front of me and noted my first impressions, including what I thought the unrelated subjects might be. Then I listened many more times with the bios and lyrics. Here’s what I ended up doing…
I have grouped your entries into songs that I felt:
a) genuinely connected two ‘seemingly unrelated subjects’ (my top 4)
b) the subjects were kind of unrelated, but much more open to debate - if I only got the ‘seemingly unrelated’ because it was in the bio, but the song itself treated them as related then you’re in here too (but you were very nearly in the the c list…) (my middle 5)
c) either didn’t connect two actually unrelated subjects at all, or didn’t create any meaningful/interesting connection between the two things and perhaps didn’t give the listener anything to discover… if your song is based on ‘this is like that’ then that to me was more of an analogy/comparison, not an ‘unexpected yet satisfying’ connection… and if you didn’t give a bio and I couldn’t fathom anything beyond these summations to move you up a level, you’re also here (my bottom 4)
Within those groups, it was then more about how interestingly any connection is made and how well done I think the song is overall. As this is the last time I will be ranking you, I also looked back over the previous two rounds to see how much you have taken on advice given.
A slight side note, but very relevant:
It is interesting how much focus and discussion is given to production – I see in the chats online that some participants feel judges may be too biased to a well-produced song, and yet so many of your reviews for each other focus on exactly this element. I work (among other areas) as a music teacher, and I want to reward the merits of the work done at whatever level you are at (please note, for eg, that all four of this round’s shadows were above the cut-off threshold in my last ranking). All that said, once other things are equal (eg, I’ve put you into group a, b or c above) then the factors that will play into your actual position will include how well you’ve put the song together, in all that means, including the balance of sound and anything clever you’ve done technically that enhances the story you are telling (which, to be fair, is about where my level of production understanding is at).
Anyway, what I’m really getting at is, this round has been a sod to judge. All each of us can do is stick to our values and our own take on things, and speak honestly here. Thank goodness there are five judges…
First, the shadows, in the order they appear on bandcamp:
Mandrake: River Flow
This is a really satisfying piece, a joy to listen to – I could absolutely listen on repeat! Well done on the production improvements, so great to hear your voice, and I love the more overtly sung parts (at the end of the choruses). The water theme and the movement in the music is well matched. I like the compliments and river flow items within the lyrics, though you use ‘feels like’ which doesn’t quite achieve what I hoped from the challenge brief (connecting in an unexpected yet satisfying way).
Siebass: Ambulance
I love the vocal commitment here, brilliant! Your performance is fun, keeps the interest. I wish I could have made out more of the lyrics without needing to read them to fully get what was going on. (I did not get it on listening without the song bio.) I love your guitar part, and the spoken Miss Muffet is hilarious. Once I did get the riddle, it is so clever (and Ambulance as a title was a great choice). Basically, bravo, you met the challenge brilliantly and created a fantastically delivered, fun to listen to, catchy song – you would have been in my top selection of the round.
Ominous Ride: Willard and Karma
Another shadow song that does brilliantly with the brief, that would have been in my top selection. You tell a superb story, and the way you bring the two separate characters together is a hugely pleasing and satisfying surprise (not for Willard, but hey). The way you have Karma involved is fantastic. The performance is well paced, you make the long verses work, you have clear vocals. The bridge is welcome when it comes, and you could perhaps have done more with the vocal treatment (more variety) and some of the rhyming is amusing/cheesy (eg. easy – policey). A little pitchiness here and there and careful on some diction (ri-[ch] – hi-[tch]).
nightingale’s fiddle: Baseball
You have lovely clear lines on your harp line (hard to achieve such cleaness on bass strings, so well done for that). You have varied vocals (though not balanced well with the harp position), and well done for exploring out of your comfort zone with other sounds being involved. The initial thumpy drum works okay, (others will talk more on production here) but then the sounds that sound like editing clicks are really uncomfortable. I like the topic matter (I haven’t given up on you yet ;) ) and you do well at combining baseball and songwriting as two unconnected things – you did well with the brief. I like the hard endings on the repeated ends of lines (yet/it). The ‘over head and heels’ is interesting – it might be good to have it used the expected way at least once, scanning-wise that might have had to be ‘head over my heels’ but that would have been enough to then make the change a nice nod – something to keep the listener’s attention - rather than just how it is each time.
And now my reviews for Round 3, in ascending order…
13 – Jealous Brother: Guitar Picks and Nail Clippers
As I listened and wondered what the two seemingly unrelated items were, I couldn’t quite believe it was just the title items. You tell your story, but there is no subtlety, no ‘a-ha’ moment for the listener, no unexpected yet satisfying connection. Your production is fine, as is the performance – if it weren’t an entry for this particular challenge, it would be a grand song. That said, your instrumental is just the same melody we’ve already heard, and it’s long, but I do like the ending. You have returned to your round 1 style of upbeat music with darker story. Regarding having taken on board any previous advice, three separate judges have commented on your silence at the beginning of songs, and yet you have done it again. A fix that would very nearly take less time to sort than you make us listen to nothing for.
12 – Pigfarmer Jr: Falling Down
I’m afraid I don’t feel the ‘seemingly unrelated’ enough – from your bio you say the two things are a pot hole and a falling down building, but these are effectively both structures that are failing. Then both verses start with “I feel like” which means that the potential connection you are making between yourself and these things are just comparisons/analogy. I like the emotion in your voice and I really like what you do with the bridge. This song has a lot of repetition within it. I get that one structure is crumbling and the other is busted and that’s informed your chorus, but we end up hearing the word ‘crumbling’ six times in this song (you use it twice in each chorus!) and that starts to wear thin. I would still love to hear some backing vocals in one of your songs for greater variety and keeping the interest of the listener. Your production is always well balanced to me and I never have to strain to understand you, thank you.
11 – The Pannacotta Army: Elephant
I really like the cool chilled groove you have here (is it samba-esque?), and the music generally is well thought through – you keep it interesting with a good balance between busyness and space. I feel like we are hearing your own sound here, and the diction is good throughout, thank you. I think you could have created this feeling of two different subjects by doing more with the elephant before you made it clear it was being ‘the elephant in the room’. But as he’s immediately invisible, there’s nowhere for this to go other than for it be a way of describing how little is being done about global warming. I do like the burn/pachyderm rhyme, that’s clever and fun, and overall a great song, just didn’t do enough with the challenge for me.
10 – Sober: Cheap Wine and Expensive Beer
This is the song I have found myself singing at random moments throughout the week. I absolutely melt into your delivery of ‘cheap beer’ – those high vocals and gravel in your voice does something to my knees!! However, there are then some tuning issues in many other parts of the song (eg ends of the verses). I know you got it in just before the cut-off so no doubt if you’d had more time you’d have done more takes to nail this. I had to look up some of the abbreviations – being non-American I didn’t get the Hannaford/HEB references without. I really like the scrunchy chord on ‘sommelier’ and the music choice under Millar/Lonestar to reinforce your points. So, after all this, why are you tenth? I’m afraid I don’t see how alcohol and alcohol are unrelated, and cheap/expensive is also just a scale. As with Jealous Brother, your two items are also your title, leaving nothing for the listener to glean.
9 – Phlub – War Dawgs
You were so very nearly in my bottom section, but I can see what you’ve done. I was hoping for the songs in this round to deliver to me, the listener, two seemingly unrelated subjects, and for the unexpected yet satisfying connection to unravel/appear during the song. What I can see you have done is chosen two seemingly unrelated subjects, found a way to connect them, then written a song that you feel is satisfying. Do you get where I’m coming from? So to me as listener, I am listening to a father-dog write to his son-dog, and his son reply – quite literally, two relations writing to each other. And I can tell from your bio how chuffed you are with what you’ve done, and I hate to pour water over it. (I have genuinely agonised over placing you!) I like your driving intro, the nod to the Bluey theme tune with your darker version in the bass line, and I kinda like the heavy production as it fits the war-theme. I do struggle to hear your vocals clearly with the fx you have used – I needed to see the words to get what was going on. The instrumental is too long for me. The howling ‘you’ is cool though. (Re the bass line btw, have you watched “His Dark Materials” [Philip Pullman]? – google tells me it may be available on HBO over there. The theme tune when it aired on BBC over here was music by Lorne Balfe, and the bass line on brass is very reminiscent of what you do here. You might like it!)
8 – Glennny: Platypus
First off, I love Phineus and Ferb, and Perry is such a fab character – are the backing bahs/dos a nod to his theme? (Thinking over your other songs, you are fond of a backing ‘do do do’!) This song does clever things, though I needed to read the bio to get what was going on, and then I find myself wishing you hadn’t named it Platypus as it all then becomes quite obvious... I found the “why” parts a confusing addition that doesn’t quite fit musically – is it meant to be a question to the creator? The soaring guitar in the instrumental is fabulous, though I wonder what purpose it fulfils in the song itself – does it add to the story at all? (See my review of Cavedweller’s below for an example of this done well.) Some of the lyrics are shoe-horned in, and you even add some extra words in your singing, eg. I got a feeling THAT I can’t dissuade, which throws the line off for me and makes it awkward. I do like your delivery of ‘noble platypus’.
7 – GFS: Falling Down
This starts in exactly the same key as your round 2 song, and uses the same main note for your opening vocals. When you couple this with your distinctive style it can start to feel a little bit samey. I put you first in round 1 not least because I loved your sound. This is the same sound, but now it’s not new to me. It may be to do with how far forward you place your vocal or the choice of instrumentation, or maybe the structure of your presentation. Definitely something to think about when you’re putting an album together – how will you keep your listener switched on and paying attention? I do like your sound, that’s a big part of why you’re here in seventh. Regarding the challenge, I would argue that the amount of rain (drought/flood) is a scale, as I argued that Sober’s scale of cheap to expensive alcohol is. The reason you are in my mid-section and not in the bottom is because you have the verse on falling profits, which in my non-guided listen I thought was one of your unrelated subjects, with the connection being how corporations want to ignore global warming. That to me is the stronger way to meet the brief.
6 – Jim Tyrrell – Salt
Lovely storytelling here. I presume that you gave us a song based on a live performance due to time constraints, though are the piano and pennywhistle added after? I quite like the live element, though in an ideal world where time allowed I would have taken us away from it as you took us on the different journeys so we could really travel away, maybe bringing it back in for the very end. Your delivery is excellent, and no doubt fed off having a live audience, especially in the last couple of verses. Your song bio says that the two unrelated subjects are the lives of the two men who diverge and return. I get it, but it doesn’t quite work enough for me as two unrelated people given the way they are connected. I can see that it’s arguable though. I loved the way it was titled salt and the way you used the idea of how salty the individuals are. To me, on my first listen, that was the unrelated subjects connected in an unexpected and satisfying way. The salt of being at sea, and the nature (saltiness) of each man. So, because I got that from it, I am pleased to be able to rank you higher than my system otherwise would have.
5 – Cavedwellers: Elevator Pitch
So I got it on the first listen, though it was on repeated listens that I fully appreciated the cleverness of how you have put this together. Are two people who work in the same company really unrelated subjects however? I’m not sure, but I do like how you’ve given them this meeting place in the lift and after finding the lyric spacing weird in the choruses, the combination in the review is fantastic, I mean, like WOW. You clever thing you. You get the different vocal quality for the different characters, but I would have panned verse 2 vocals more to the right so they are in the same position as you have them later on in the wrap and review. The instrumental with that gorgeous dirty guitar solo really adds to story (as the pitch presumably happens then) – this is a superb structural choice. So overall, bravo. On my first, non-bio-reading listen, I briefly wondered if there was a split personality thing going on here, and *that* would have worked excellently as a non-related subject, where we initially think it’s two separate people meeting and talking but it’s actually all one person. Once I realised - which I did before the song ended – that it was definitely two separate people, (but not unrelated enough for my liking) I found myself having to rank you lower than I would otherwise have liked.
And so my top 4, for meeting the brief of connecting two seemingly unrelated subjects so well…
4 – Hot Pink Halo
A fantastic combination, I got it without your bio, though the finer details added more to it of course. You have an atmospheric start, and I love your vocals as you hit the high golds (I feel like this is the first time I’m truly hearing you SING sing, and I would like more of this version of you over the clipped sung-spoken delivery). I like how you build through this piece, with the additional layers in later choruses culminating in adding the male backing vocals, which given the story really adds something over and above textural variety. There is some pitchiness in your verses which I would like ironed out, but well done with working on your ends of words, I so appreciate hearing the full word of ‘bright’ (and for what it’s worth, despite how laboured it may have felt to you, it comes over really naturally in the song and adds so much to it). Production-wise, there are better done songs here, but you hit the brief so well that you get my fourth slot, with bells on.
3 – Stacking Theory: Slowly Disappear
I love the delivery of this (though your spoken verses are loooooong and on repeated listens the song starts to feel too loooooooong too… it does take you 2 minutes before we get sung lead-vocals; if this song had more singing in it, I think I would have ranked you even higher). I really like the layered vocals in the chorus, and kudos for working on the ends of your words – waste, street… fantastic! As I said for HPH above, it works, it doesn’t feel forced, and I’m so appreciative of your taking advice on board and acting on it. The build through the second verse, and the way you deliver the lines so that they flow – it’s excellent. I really want the spoken lines to feel truly like prose, but then some rhymes sneak in at the end of lines and they kinda jar (okay/play). That said, the subtler mid sentence ones (praise/days) are a good touch. I love the long and different ways you sing ‘disappear’, where your backing vocal continues on longer than the lead, it’s really effective, and your ending of the whole song fits the story well. I haven’t heard of ‘hard’ rubbish before, though I get it, and I really like the way you connect it to the dreams we might have that also slowly disappear. Bravo, well done.
2 – The Dutch Widows: When The Storm Starts To Rise
What a brilliant answer to the brief, and I got it without reading the bio, including your nod to Jim Tyrrell’s round 1 song, great job! There’s a vulnerability to your voice (especially in the bridge) that is really touching given the subject matter. I love the way this builds, and the way you end it (with an almost a capella final chorus, YES!) – you’ve worked hard on your textural variety and it’s a joy to hear. Be slightly careful with the added thunder rumbles – the mix isn’t quite right with them, they’re too prominent, and I would have liked the final notes to continue reverberating over the final thunder roll. Be careful too with your diction on the ends of words, and you just get away with your vocal positioning in the mix here (you’ve moved it back a bit again, don’t lose the confidence in your vocal ability to be more to the fore, it got a little muddy in places here). One final question, what is the backing vocal saying behind the chorus? (It is three distinctive sounds so it sounds like it should be a word, but there’s no hard sound so then it doesn’t… it somehow ends up detracting as I give it too much attention trying to work it out.)
1 – Tunes by LJ: Morning Water
Wow, this is a beautiful response that really moved me. It did need your song bio to get the full impact (to realise the morning/mourning change), but the combination of morning ablutions and the grief induced night-time drinking is not only clever, it’s also touching. I like the sparse intro and the way this builds and I love the transition into the chorus. The layered vocals are beautiful. Please pay more attention to your diction (not something I’ve mentioned to you before, but really noticeable here), eg ‘nourishmen[t]’, goble[t]… and the chorus really sounds like you are singing ‘fall’ not ‘flow’. I love the different treatments you give to each ‘flow’ in the chorus, which I hear especially well on headphones (though without them, I only noticed it on the fourth line each time), and the hint of water trickling is a lovely subtle touch. Generally, the production has been given such attention here, but I do question the drums – they do not have the naturalness that so much else here does and it makes them stand out uncomfortably. A small gripe in an otherwise brilliant song.
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