Here are your rankings from Valerie Polichar:
Read on for Valerie's reviews!
Overall notes:
This was an extremely strong set of entries — it was painful to rank songs that I thought were quite well crafted below the threshold to continue. I do weight lyrics and music ahead of performance or production (every judge handles this differently), but I score on 7 different axes all told, and I also try to evaluate each song within the tropes of its presented genre to the best of my ability. Despite any and all critique below, there was no song here that I didn’t like. (If you have questions about my comments or on how you might execute on them given some constraint, hit me up on the Discord and I’m happy to discuss.)
West of Vine - Easy Modes & Cheat Codes
Strong lyrics and good spin on the challenge. Especially appealing: "I was wasting my youth/ I was estranged from the truth/ I was a young federale in a diner booth." Nice little ending. The stretched "ti-imes" & "wi-in" are probably the least effective bits, but in general the cadence is good. Performance is competent and clear and suits the style of the song. The melody/chords are a bit repetitive — the song could have used a bigger change, and/or the verses a little more shape. The arrangement is good, but the vocals are too far in front and many of the other instruments too far in back (except the lead guitar on the solo), so that the nuances of the guitar get lost. Having the vocals so far in front also emphasizes the repetitiveness; moving other instruments forward and back can add some texture even when the melody/chords don't change that much. Lots of potential here, especially with those top-notch lyrics.
Joy Sitler - Dress-Up
Clever and heartfelt lyrics, packing a lot of story into just under a minute. "My sister was thrown off guard/ But coming out is always hard" is a great couplet. "I never see my sister much" and "How anyone reacts, well, no one knows" could be stronger, but otherwise, top job on the lyrics. Good spin on the challenge, too. The places where the singer has to jam in a bunch of lyrics work surprisingly well, adding texture to an otherwise fairly repetitive song. The addition of instruments in the second stanza is also a good way to add shape, as is the drop on the final line (which is a terrific line, incidentally); a little more shape to the piece would be welcome, but it doesn't need much because of the brevity. For this genre, it's ok to have the vocals strongly in front, but the backing instrumentation is a bit heavy on the trebly percussion (tambourine and/or cymbals/hi-hat?) — varying that a little would be effective, perhaps not keeping it at that high level on every stanza. All in all, excellent use of less than a minute and a nice take on the challenge.
This Big Old Endless Sky - I Love a Sunburnt Country
Terrific vibe and sound here. When the high electronics (possibly a guitar) come in after the first "someone's gonna be drinking" it really raises the hair on one's arm, in a good way. Excellent contrast between the great noise rock vibe and the innocence of a laundry line, and it's an interesting take on the 'game' theme. The group yell that comes in about midway through the song is perfect. Lyrics did a great job of evoking Australia, though there were some stronger lines (the chorus; "the heat-soaked horizon") and some weaker lines ("you know it's a must," "it's sultry divine"). (I'm not completely convinced by the yell at the end, though. The motif would be more powerful if it only happens once.) The song could have used a bit more shape, but overall the effect was powerful and an excellent listen.
The Pannacotta Army - Covfefe
Attractive arrangement; the cheerful, beachy vibe is a good contrast with the political commentary, and the organ coming in on the chorus is great. The soft harmony is lovely; it would be nice to see it come in a little more strongly on the choruses (i.e. more of a group sound on the title word). The song is well performed, and the vocal style suits the song style. Polished production. Lyrics are a bit contrived in order to make the political point, though some of them are clever ("We'll agree to disagree/ And then consult the dictionary"), and the chorus is funny. The connection to the theme is acceptable, but without the song bio, it's less clear. A pleasant-sounding political ditty.
Jim Tyrrell - Game Over
Absolutely terrific/brilliant lyrics and a great take on the challenge. The Tom Waits-tinged vocals are a great pairing with the style of the song and the clever lyrics, e.g. "The pink pegs are gone, now I’ve got to go on/ With just the blues," "Now my mouse trap don’t work, she took off with half the parts/ Can’t even play solitaire, she took the two of hearts," etc. "Except for Baltic Avenue" made me laugh out loud. The 'chorus' melody isn't musically very distinct from the 'verse' melody. With the basic guitar/vocal arrangement (which is quite effective with this style of music), a bit more difference might keep the song from feeling longish, as it does right now. That said, the pauses after "seven" and "Pop-O-Matic too" are welcome punctuation, and the slowdown at the end is very effective. Altogether delightful song.
Stacking Theory - Andrew Management Issues
The lovely drifting sound of this is easy on the ears, and the pedal steel adds atmosphere. There's a marked contrast between the subject matter, the mood of the lyrics, and the music that is effective. The lyrics largely work, even if they are a bit opaque without the explanation. In particular "did you see the sun rise/ with your eyes/ for the first time, again/ do you feel the cool breeze/ touch your face/ for the first time, again/ fill your lungs with/ the sweet sweet air/ and then you’re gone" has a universality to it. That said, the title is of no impact without the notes, and I think you'd be better off just leaving it as "Anger Management Issues" or, in fact, something else altogether -- that title is a little on the nose and also speaks to the specific situation. It might be interesting to go for a more universal title to allow the listener to feel the application of the story to their own life, even if they didn't have that specific gaming experience. The pedal steel is great, but you could create more shape and transition to the song by using it more judiciously or building into it, allowing it maximum impat to contrast with lyrics like "anger management issues" rather than using it constantly -- as beautiful as it is.
We Happy Few - Playing Games
A nice lead-in guitar/bassline. Appealing lead vocals and an interesting melody, well suited to the genre. The guitar echoing the vocal line on the verse is effective, and the instrumental change with the chorus adds interest. The song would be stronger with some work on the lyrics and with a more (musically and story-wise) divergent bridge. The concept of "playing games" as an analog to a relationship is not new, and there is nothing here to make it truly fresh. Phrases like "You smile like everything's okay" and "The curtain's coming down, but you won't let it go" sound a little hackneyed; other phrases, like "you're just leading me astray" and "am I in retreat?" have a clumsy feeling, as though they are just there to enforce the rhyme. On the other hand, "try to keep up, but I'm losing the beat" and "I'm on your side, but I'm not quite sure/ if you're ever gonna let me in for more" are more novel. One way to approach this would be to look for a much more specific example of each general idea you present: e.g. instead of "you throw a glance, then you look away," tell us about a specific instance where this mixed-messaging was presented -- is it at work? Across the lunch court? On a date? Instead of "You're pretending it's all so easy," what is the action or behavior that makes it seem like it's easy for the other person? Are they smiling and laughing, telling jokes as though nothing were wrong? Are they working with you just like normal in the office, or trading homework just like they always did at school? This will help the song stand out as different in a crowded field. All that said, the song is well performed, and the abrupt ending is powerful.
David Taro - The Hardest Game
Super-catchy guitar lick and a great bounce to this tune. The lyrics are fun and fairly creative; most are strong ("I played Twister with an acrobat/ She was as bendy as a Siamese cat/ We did battle on the plastic mat...") while a few feel more overused ("Love is the hardest game of all"). The "braggadocio" theme works well for the style of song. The shift to the pre-chorus is effective, and the chorus is very engaging. The bridge works, and the backing vocals are great there. The instrumental drop-out on "I beat an actor" works beautifully. Both the pre-chorus and the chorus sound very much like two other well-known pop songs. The upside of that is that both this tune and their tunes are very catchy. The downside is that this tune sounds less original. One way to counter this problem, if you or an early listener catches it, is to deliberately make a distinct change to disrupt the familiarity -- not just going up where the other tune goes down, but changing to an unexpected chord, using an unexpected rhythmic shift, temporarily changing key, or moving from major to minor or vice versa just briefly. Still, enjoyed this colorful ditty with some great micro-stories — it packs a lot into a radio-friendly song length!
The Moon Bureau - Carcassonne, and On, and On
Tasty guitar licks and haunting vocals have a pleasantly updated-1980s sound. The plucky little solo section is delightful and an excellent textural contrast. There's a nice complexity to the counter-melodies of "Carcassonne" / "and on and on" that go on in the second iteration of the chorus. The lyrics are clunky in spots, e.g. "my wiles I will wield". The verse melody isn't terribly novel-sounding, but the chorus is lovely. The mix feels a little muddy. Consider pulling back on the reverb/echo; the song can still have that haunting sound without having all that reverberation run into itself. It would also help put the vocals a little further forward; right now, the rhythm guitar is the furthest-forward sound throughout most of the song, which feels imbalanced. The song is overall pleasant but not a knockout pitch, perhaps because it leans too hard on the single "will I ever be the one/ you will put your meeple on" metaphor, without much else to really grab the listener. The song might benefit from being a little longer, including a bridge, and giving us a little more of an idea about the object of all this adoration.
Jealous Brother - Kings in the Corner
It was a good choice to make the verse lyrics be the rules of the song and save the political comments for the pre-chorus and chorus. That said, the song could have been more effective if the pre-chorus were also gameplay-related; political commentary in songs punches harder when it comes in judicious doses. The verse lyrics are strong ("like pancakes on a griddle"!), but "asinine" is a difficult word to pull off in a song, and the chorus lyrics are a little heavy handed (not that I don't agree with them). Leaning harder on the gameplay would make the song more appealing, which is a good way to get a message across. Another possibility: keep the "God help us, what's been going on?" first line of the pre-chorus, but make the first iteration of the pre-chorus and the chorus solely about gameplay, and the second time around solely about politics. This make stronger use of the analogy between the game and the political game to pound the point home. The vocals are pleasant and the balance of the arrangement and mix are good. There's plenty of shape and variation here to hold the ear, and all the instrumentation is very well executed. The brief solo sounds terrific. A great deal of potential here; a little judicious editing could make this an excellent song.
▷ - Golden Child
Delightfully self-conscious lyrical construction, though it would be nice to see the lyrics draw some sort of analogy between the game itself and something broader (the very name of this game provides a possible opportunity for this, as "the golden child" has a meaning outside of the game). The chiptune accompaniment works generally well, giving a sense of movement and running in circles. The funkiness that comes in during the "ATTACK" second is a pleasant interlude, and the outro is amusing, though perhaps only in the context of SpinTunes! Melody and musical construction sound fresh and original. The drop at "and HERE is your DROP" could be longer — as you seem to have divined, rests can offer a lot to a track like this, as they call even more attention to the whirling chaos of the music which describes the game, and the song could get away with making a few of them longer. The percussion gets a little hard on the ear, even with the rests — it might need more variation. Similarly, the harmonies are interesting but feel overused. Perhaps don't use them on every repetition of "Golden Child" _and_ the whole "RETREAT" section, so that when the song hits the final round of "Golden Child" they really punch through. All in all, it's a fun track with a great sense of movement.
Brian Gray - Hide and Seek
Deft lyrics, deftly sung, with a coherent "Irish folksong" sound that is persuasive enough to the American ear (I won't speak for the Irish part of the SpinTunes audience). The rhythm guitar that starts in around the 15-second mark sounds great. The group vocals that come in toward the end sound good and create good contrast. The wraparound nature of the lyrics, sung so smoothly, is pleasant on the ear, and there are some well-crafted lines here ("And that lost little pathway/ Gets retraced and refreshed every day by routine/ Back and forth to the shore," " an evening song/ About learning the longest/ Way ‘round is the shortest way home."). A few of the lyrics are clunkier; the stanza that starts "Know your innocent beauty" is probably the clunkiest, but "Adventures befitting of epics to tell" is a little stiff too. The downside of the various stiffer or more formal lyrics is that it reduces the emotional resonance of the song. Ideally, the song should bring the listener with the protagonist in forming an attachment to Fungie, so that we miss him when he disappears and long, with the singer, for him to return. Some work on the lyrics could achieve this. The melody feels like we've heard it before, though of course that is part of the evocation of that "Irish folksong" sound, but it could deviate more for originality's sake and still evoke that genre. The instrumental arrangement is well varied, but the mix could use a little work. In particular, the vocal sounds separate from the instruments; it's a little echoey by comparison, making it sound like the singer is in a different room from the band. An initial suggestion would be to dial down the echo and use the same level of reverb on both voice and instruments.
Hot Pink Halo - A Numbers Game
Intro synth organ followed by synthesized percussion is a fun start. The Alice-in-Wonderland connection is immediately evident, and appeals. The melody is pleasant and sounds original, and the bridge is particularly excellent, especially with the harmonies. The keyboard coming in towards the end is nice way to wind the song down. The lyrics are very well written and clever, and the choice to make the chorus less Alice-specific and more universal is a good one. However, emphasizing the "ing" in the stretched-out "trying to win" sounds clumsy, as does the emphasis/stretching out on "en" in "enough." The vocal performance is uneven, sounding off on some lines (e.g. "I shrink so small, shrink down so far") and lovely on others ("To fit through doors once closed to me"). The percussion gets a little chattery on the ear after a while; more variation (rather than just "off" or "on") would help with this. The "numbers game" connection to the theme is a little hand-wavey, but it's fine. FWIW: this track has a sound reminiscent of "Au Revoir Simone," without ever sounding derivative.
chewmeupspitmeout - Bored Games
The 1970s feel of the instrumentation is complemented by the rich vocals and appealing harmonies. The choice to reserve the harmonies for the chorus is a good one. Great sound overall; the mix could use a little work to bring the guitars up volume-wise and pull the lead vocal and drums slightly back from the front (just adding a little more reverb on each would probably do the trick). The melody is simple, but sounds original and hits the ear well. The board/bored pun is acceptable, and the lyrics draw a reasonable analogy between game-play and relationships, though this idea isn't entirely fresh. Some of the lyrics are original ("we spun that plastic dial/ and moved our pieces diligently") but more are tired ("i fell into that trap you set/ now i'm beset with regret"). When in doubt, add specifics rather than these more general statements for greater punch and originality. The melodic structure and the performance is solid, so attention to verse lyrics and mix would really knock this out of the park.
Vehicles of Beware - The Gambler
The lyrics tell a good story, have a nice arc, and are mostly pretty strong, though "It started off as fun/ Now I only hate and love myself" is a bit too on the nose, and the final "run out of town" chorus seems unnecessary. The song could wind up the story at the end of verse 4 and it would have greater impact, because "The betting houses are all closed/ The bouncers don't recall his name/ On a bench out in the park/ Sees a snake and calls a shark" has a lot of drama, and you don't want that drama to peter out. One way to maximize this would be to make sure the final couple lines of verse 4 end the story, and then fade out on the final chorus. The song definitely has that Steely Dan feel — the song bio wasn't necessary to get the reference! The downside of this is that the chord progressions don't sound sufficiently original. But it's an appealing sound, very well performed and mixed. However, the music could go a little more outside the classic Steely Dan chord progesssions and still make the allusion. As noted, performance is very solid, but consider processing the vocals a little differently on the parts where the vocalist is singing solo. Slight doubling might complement the style. Because the vocal is quite smooth and sweet, anything that adds a little texture will help the song hang together; even making it fairly dry with a tiny echo might be something to try; if you're already doing this, play with a variety of reverbs (maybe a plate, for a slightly more vintage sound?) and a tiny dose of chorus effect? Play around to see what sounds best. When the lead vocal is paired with harmonies, it sounds well set in the music; when solo, it doesn't sit as tightly. Still: enjoyed the listen and the feel of this track.
The Dutch Widows - The loneliness of the third choice goalkeeper
Novel concept, and the prosy style mixed with the inline rhyming works well. The instrumentation is pleasant and well mixed, and the performance is strong. The backing vocals are a nice touch. The unusual short solo is paired with a nicely divergent bridge, making maximum use of the bridge as a way to counterpoint the rest of the lyrics, something I always like to see. The melody and chords overall sound original. Stressing "keep" in "goalkeeper" sounds artificial; the line could be carried just fine while stressing "goal" and come out more effectively. There's a similar problem with stressing "drome" in "syndrome". But these are nits. The largest issue with the song is that, up until the brief instrumental break/bridge, the song has a sameyness to it that lulls the listener into paying insufficient attention. The density between verse and chorus is varied, but the song still lacks somewhat in shape. One way to approach this would be to shift the instrumentation in verse 2. Dropping out one of the instruments and subbing in something different could do this, or even pulling back one and pushing another one forward (e.g. more guitars in one, more keys in another). These, of course, are production notes, and the song as a whole is strong lyrically, melodically and chord-wise.
Celestial Drift - Jigsaw
Sounds like classic Red Clay Ramblers! It's a fun sound, well executed here, and the vocal style and instrumentation fit perfectly. The solo is delightful. The sound is an interesting contrast to the dark content, and makes the song funny. More of an arc to the song would give it more punch. Right now, the emotional level is flat throughout, but the listener wants some kind of an arc. It would be satisfying to have the tables turned on the protagonist, or otherwise have something more unexpected occur. (I don't know how the actual movie ends, but in some ways it doesn't matter — you don't have to copy that exactly.) Contrary to what one might expect, a turn would make the sadistic elements of the song actually hit harder and make the song more impactful overall. There's also not much musical variation throughout the song, so lyric/storytelling variation would help keep listener focus. The song is violent and entertaining, though!
Siebass - The Least Dangerous Game
Love the bass lead-in. The choruses are particularly well executed, with unexpected and interesting harmonies/chords and the build at the end of the chorus. The mix is well balanced. Nice shift in tempo on the bridge; perhaps emphasize the slowdown even more, quieting the drums and amping up the harmonies and smoothness so that that final line/drum fill can punch even harder. More could be done with the solo; right now it feels a little long and doesn't add much. As well, the repeating guitar riff gets a little old and slightly mesmerizing in a less-than-ideal way, and could use some variation. Even a simple drop somewhere in the middle of the song might help with that. I was hoping/looking for your parenthesized asides to be spoken in the actual song -- that would be fun and add some humor and interest. (I read the song bios after writing most of my reviews — came back to say that I still think you should have left them in.) The song is solid little story (maybe a bit of lyrical wind-up at the end would be nice?), well executed. Some musical/arrangement variation and leveraging the humor in the asides would kick it up a notch.
SunLite - No Fun!
A good sense of shape here, with first half of verse quieter, second half denser, and chorus densest of all. The solo, with melody and counter-melody, is interesting to listen to, and the varied harmonies in the final choruses provide a nice sense of build. The yell at the end provides a nice coda. Regarding the lyrics: there's some cleverness ("You crown me kind then slide right over/ We're playing different games", "it's clubs instead of hearts") but the song could use some more specifics about the relationship itself rather than one metaphor after another. There's also not much of a story, it's a song about a situation; a snapshot. Note, these are issues with a number of the submissions this round; the takeaway is that in order to stand out in a crowded field, something unique is required, and specifics and/or story help you to do that. The somewhat fuzzy (or EQ-compressed?) vocal effect is an interesting one that makes the voice sound more like the other instruments in the song, but something like this is most effective when it is departed from at some point in the song, otherwise everything blurs together. One way to do this is to use it just on the verses and allow the vocals on the chorus to be clear.There is shape to the song, which helps, but this, again, would be one more way to stand out/sound special. A well constructed song, albeit one which could use some more engaging lyrics and some rethinking of the mix/FX.
Sober - Blue Shells
The serious-sounding music with the amusing subject matter is a great contrast. The refrain is terrific, especially with the louder vocals, and the background vocals work. The guitar work on the second verse/short solo is great, and breaks the song up well. Nice fuzz at the end. Lyrics are fine, but occasionally clunky (e.g. "I won't ever shed a tear/ For the ones in first who now fear"); the lyrics hint at it, but more could have been made of the analogy between the game and real life.The vocal FX need some work to pair the naturally smooth voice with the gritty feel of the song. A chorus effect, doubling with different effects on each voice, or other distortion could help with this. Simple doubling of vox on the refrain might be a nice add. The balance of vox and instruments on the refrain is good but the guitars/percussion could be slightly louder and vocals slightly lower on the verses. Overall cute, but it's a bit of a one-note concept here. Still, it's well executed and amusing, and meets the challenge.
“Fourty-Two” - Tarot Cards
Lovely guitar lead-in with interesting chords, and appealing doubled vocals with a pretty timbre. The rather prosy lyrics (not a complaint) set up an interesting relationship/situation. However, the lyrics are also a bit complex/opaque in places, making it less easy for the listener to relate. They also lean from prosy to clunky in places, e.g. "if you feel so inclined to keep the downward trend," "til I've got you pinned with string to the wall," "five steps to another trial" etc). One likely cause of this is the desire to rhyme. But with a prosy style like this, one can, if desired, get away with ditching a rhyming scheme entirely, or greatly reducing it. That might be something to consider in a rewrite. The arrangement is fine; I'd love to hear even more shift in the guitar riffs throughout the song, but there is build and drop in the overall arrangement. Similarly, the lyrics are mostly a vignette. The bridge of a song should really be an opportunity to explore something that contrasts with the rest of the song, but the lyrics go in a direction here whose relationship to the rest of the song (and the other person) isn't obvious to the listener without reference ot the song bio.The vocals go slightly off-true on some of the pre-choruses and choruses. Judicious use of pitch correction might make the harmonies hit better. The connection to 'games' just meets the challenge, though it's not as innovative as it could have been. However, there are the bones of a lovely song here.
Tunes By LJ - Showdown
Nice funky feel. Bringing in the guitar riff midway through the first verse, then adding keys in the pre-chorus, and then building to the big chorus, is a very professional approach to arranging. The very specific gameplay in the verses is a good contrast to the more general/relationship-referencing chorus, but in this case the connection isn't entirely clear. There are some great phrases here "Pressure from the jump, light my cigarette/ Wait for the flop, checking the pot" but it's hard for the listener to understand exactly what's being implied, unless you really are simply describing a poker game, in which case it would be nice to get more from this song than simply a detailed description of a game. That said, there's a lot to like here, from the arrangement to the harmonies to the small whoops and countermelodies in the final refrain.
Governing Dynamics - Falling For Maybe
The Interpol-y guitar intro with lovely harmonic plucks is engaging, as is the fact that it breaks away from sounding like Interpol as soon as the vocals enter. The melody is original, and the slight shift in style between verse, pre-chorus and chorus is welcome (but it would be better if it were an even stronger difference -- the change in the bridge is a good example). Just drawing a general analogy between gameplay and a relationship isn't enough to stand out as a song, but what helps here is a lot of interesting lines and specific details: "Just one stop for my woman with the tokens/ Tight smile, bright hello/ When she looks at me I know" "Now I don't even check/ If somebody stacked the deck/ Sometimes the crash is the best part of the ride." The vocals in many places are a bit off key, and that particularly hurts the impact of the harmonies, which is a shame, as they are musically well-written. There's no shame to tightening up with a bit of pitch correction. That said, it might be interesting not to use harmonies through every verse; as it is the very few solo lines stand out, but using less harmony in verse 1 would create more build to the song. A solid and compelling pop song; finesse and detail would kick it up to next level.
Pigfarmer Jr - Hangman
Powerful and distinct melody and style coupled with an amusing choice of game. The well-crafted lyrics do a great job of connecting the game (verses) to the relationship (chorus), it's even multifaceted!, and the upshot ("you can't be the missing part of me") is nicely specific and unusual. The drop in instrumentation at the bridge is just right. There is a _slight_ problem in that the game of "hangman" has us hang a man… but the hanged man isn't the hangman. The player is the hangman, the one doing the hanging. I would argue that poetic license can be extended here. Because of the style of the music and lyric, the vocals should be very tight with the drum beats, but in the very first verse, they lag a bit, and that makes the song sound less professional. (This comes up again on lines like "wrong wrong wrong and "You put him back together once again" and elsewhere throughout the song — basically, be careful to keep the vocals tight. Altogether, well crafted tune.
Dog Star Pilot - Some Kind Of Pawn
The very-well-crafted lyrics and nicely drawn harmonies please the ear and brain. The lyrics in particular have a nice arc to them; the song has successfully told a story, and there's a subtle but detectable analogy from the game metaphors to a real-life situation that provides depth. While the tune and music are quite pleasant, the song doesn't vary much. Even the bridge, while it adds a higher harmony, is the same rhythmic pattern as the verses, and because instrumentation doesn't vary throughout the song and there's no conventional verse/chorus divide, the song is very same-y. Also, hard to do, but careful to be very tight on the vocal harmonies, especially on complex lines like "because without the checkerboard squares as a guide I was lost," because with this type of arrangement, anything less than absolute precision is noticeable. That said, the lyrics are well written and the song is still quite listenable despite my criticisms.
Boffo Yux Dudes - Fizzbin, Fizzbin
Spoken intro is amusing and fits into the Star Trek universe. The harmonies on the "FizzBin! FizzBin!" section sound good, and the countermelody that appears here and there is a nice detail. The harmonies on the spoken outro are pleasing. The midway-through and outro spoken sections form the connector from the gameplay to real life, but it's very slight; it would have been nice to see a more in-depth connection. What does a Royal Fizzbin really get you? What would it mean, in real life, to get a Royal Fizzbin? What IS "coming to us"? The arrangement fits the style of the song, and the handclap intro works, but it doesn't change much throughout the song, and there are no sectional dynamics, so there's not a lot of shape to the song outside of the spoken intervals. On the call/response "FizzBin" sections, the responses are louder than the "FizzBin"s; the reverse would sound better. Small note: the extension of "clo-ose" fails to convince. Surely there's a two-syllable word that would fit (or replace "keep")? Still, cute little song that would work well as a filk with a Trekkie audience -- I can hear them all singing "FizzBin! FizzBin!"
Ominous Ride - Hide and Seek
Nice 1960s/70s-style instrumentation and harmonies. The little dot-notes that lead in are very compelling (though they get lost as the song goes on). The drop-out of the lead voc on "again" and "book" is really effective. The lyrics do tell a bit of a story here, but it's not extensive, and I'd like to have gotten more from the song. The instrumental arrangement is good, but the mix doesn't serve the song. The vocals (especially backing) and some of the instruments are drowning in reverb and/or echo, making the sound muddy. Because the effects vary between the vocals, some of the background instruments, and the rhythm guitar, the guitar chords sound way out in front, the 'wah's get swallowed up, and the background vocals are a inchoate mass. This is worsened by the fact that there's not a lot of musical change throughout the song, so it turns into a wall of sound. It might be interesting to sing the first verse and the bridge without any backing vocals (or only backing vox on the final lines) — that could give the song some dynamics and make it much more effective. Making the melody of the verses and the choruses more different would also help. Despite this (and I know you mentioned you didn't have a good place to record this), the overall sound is good and there's a lot of potential here.
Dream Bells - Roses
A lovely soundscape, complemented by (dream) bell-like vocals, with strong production. At-first-subtle connection to "Ring Around the Roses" strengthens as the song goes on, and the connection to mortality is well crafted via the original meaning of the song (extra points for the fact that I was able to figure out the game/connection before I looked at the song bio; that's credit to the lyrics, which convey a lot for all that they are simple). The vocal lift on "just the same" is appealing; I normally look for shape and dynamics in a song, but for this genre of music, dynamics have to be subtle, and that lift provides a hook of interest without distracting. Even within this genre, the melody could afford to change a bit more from the verse to the chorus. The mix is mostly well crafted, but the drums are either too loud or too far out in front of the rest, which rubs on the ear after a while. The lyrics are also mostly well crafted, with "know these scents will fade away" doing triple duty as representation of the smell of a flower, the smell of decay, and the brevity of life. That said, "self-indulgent pretense" sounds clunky. The delivery of that phrase almost gets away with it, though, and overall it's a pretty song about a pretty song/game about a very, very not-pretty illness.
Möbius Strip Club - To Victory or to Glory
The breakout to harmonies at "Today I choose to be" is powerful, and the instrumentation on this track is interesting and somewhat unusual. The melody is original, and the countermelodies on the outro are very effective. The singer has an strong voice which fits the theme of the song well (when they sing "to victory or to glory," the listener is ready to believe!), though tighter sync between the lead and backing/doubling vox would be cleaner. The organ echoing the vocal melody on the verses is a nice detail, as are the backing vocal repeats on "who are we?". There's good contrast between the verses and the choruses. Something about the arrangement doesn't quite hang together, though it's difficult to say whether that's the arrangement itself or the mix. The guitar seems too far out in front, and this may be because it's too dry, and the organ sometimes is louder than the lead vocal and should be pulled back. The song could use some kind of auditory glue; possibly it needs a bassline instrument of some sort, or a low string pad of some sort. I confess I didn't grasp the connection to a game until I read the song bio; I think the lyrics could have made a slightly more overt connection to the game, but looking again, I see the ingredients are there, so some of this can be put down to the judge ;-) But the song really comes to a heart every time the singer sings "Master of my destiny/ to victory or to glory."
Flintsteel - Tarnished
The lead-in guitar solo is powerful and the kick into full instrumentation effective. The lead vocals (especially when doubled with a low growling echo) suit the song and the genre. Performance on all instruments, as well as vocals, is well executed. The lyrics successfuly tell the story of the game and the genre/music seems well-selected to describe the game in question. The melody is fine, but the verses in particular sound a bit similar to other songs in the genre without in itself sounding innovative; the chorus does more here. The line "arise ye tarnished" has the potential to bridge the gap from gameplay to some aspect of life, but you don't take advantage of that, so this song remains a simple song about gameplay without analogy. That's acceptable to the challenge but it doesn't grow much beyond it; the most interesting songs have used gameplay as metaphor to relationships or challenges faced in everyday life. The song has great overall sound and production quality.
Shadow reviews coming soon!
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