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Sunday, April 6, 2025

ST24.2 Reviews and Rankings - Valerie Polichar

Here are your rankings from Valerie Polichar:

1Hot Pink Halo
2David Taro
3Governing Dynamics
4Celestial Drift
5Sober
6Flintsteel
7The Dutch Widows
8The Moon Bureau
9Vehicles of Beware
10We Happy Few
11Jealous Brother
12
13Jim Tyrrell
14Joy Sitler
15Ominous Ride
16This Big Old Endless Sky
17Stacking Theory
18Möbius Strip Club
19Dream Bells
20Siebass
21Pigfarmer Jr

Read on for Valerie's reviews! 

I liked every song, even the lowest-ranked. When I had a ranking dilemma because lyrics and melody/chords between two songs were on a par for me, I leaned in the direction of songs that had more shape, development and/or variation of instrumentation, style, and effects. (That said, single-instrument songs are perfectly capable of shape and development; I do not mark down for that.) What you’ll see here is my thoughts on what you could do to turn your already-good song into a stunner.


We Happy Few - Winter Waits, Summer Spins


Nice stylistic contrast between verses and choruses, especially the vocals; the chorus vocals sound a bit like The Damned. Lyrics are poetic and do a nice job of speeding up/slowing down in line with the subject matter. It would have been nice to hear something more than simple descriptions of each season — there is room here for some kind of metaphor to more about life but the song doesn't take advantage of that. I don't think the actual echo on "endless echoes" is necessary, it's a bit too on the nose. Your notes reference a bridge, but I didn't actually hear a bridge, and a proper bridge, with a change of style and a lyrical turn, would have been nice; without it, the song feels a little longer than it is, and less structured. That said, the sound in general is great and the lyrics are beautifully drawn. The song has the potential to do more, but the bones are good.



▷ - 48


Great way to meet the challenge using rhythmic contrast to distinguish the two characters; the relationship and personalities are well drawn, and, while not sophisticated, the lyrics tell an interesting story. The jazzy sound mixed with chiptune is fun, and the metre changes are masterful and add interest. Nice callback to Brain, Brain. The song suffers a bit from it's minimal/complex structure; it appears to ramble through the conversation. Oddly, the miscellany of metres and lyrics makes the song wear on the ear; the return to "chorus" ("Is there anything at all that's troubling you?") eases the listening experience. There are some off-key vocals here and there that tuning could help with; it would be especially important to fix these on lines like "it's music to my ears."  It would also be interesting to pull back on some of the synth lead here and there — because it's strongly textured and fairly loud and waily, the breaks/pullbacks you do have (e.g. "it's music to my ears", "8 bein' invisibly") provide a lot of interest. It's almost like there's an alarm going off through the whole song, and we're relieved when it pauses briefly. Pausing more could make us enjoy the alarm more. But the story about friendship here is lovely, and the outro gives us a cute payoff on the number motif.



Joy Sitler - Throwing A Party


The quieter first verse leading into the fully instrumented second verse works well. The song has a lot of joy (! no pun intended). The switch to "riot" in the second half is a good transition. The trombone sounds are a bit too muted — but the idea of introducing it in the 'riot' section is a good one; even more instrumental difference could be powerful. If you want to keep trombone, perhaps up the volume or lift the treble part of the frequency range in EQ. There are a couple of places here when the vocal delivery seems oddly accented: "It's this Friday night," "has said to me." This is likely because of the desire to avoid putting the accent on "this" or "to," and that's probably wise, but slight rewording could fix both. This style of music doesn't require a perfectly tuned vocal, but tightening up the tuning in a few spots — notably the first stanza — would be worthwhile. The "gonna have a ball" ties nicely back into "throwing a party," allowing the "riot" to connect back to "party" in a way that's effective. The arc of the song works well!



This Big Old Endless Sky - The One About The Housing Affordability Crisis


Great sound, with an appealing guitar lick. The intro drum riff is a great way to lead percussion in. There are some great lyrics ("we're somewhere in between/ the quarter acre and the scream," and the whole last stanza). The meaning of the song without the title to clarify it would be harder to parse, but that's ok. Some of the lyrics work less well. "Ideals/ dragging me on" doesn't scan very well, and "somewhere in between/ the privilege and burden we live" feels a little clunky.The spoken/yelled verses would come across more effectively if contrasted with a somewhat more melodically delivered pre-chorus and chorus; there aren't a lot of notes to the pre-chorus & chorus, and "has the high ground (again)" has the feel of a yell, so it sounds like the verses again. Another way to do this would be to apply slightly different vocal FX on the different sections.



David Taro - Longevity


The stretched-out "longevity" is a novel and appealing way to address the challenge! There's a great overall sound and production here. The organ does a nice job of setting a style and era for the track. The lyrics are deft and interesting. The guitar solo fits into the track stylistically and sounds good. If there's a problem here, it’s that everything stays at roughly the same level throughout the song — there's not a lot of shape except for the drop at "Imagine watching everything you love…" and the addition of guitar and cross-melody at the tail end of the song. Those are excellent, to be sure, but it would be nice to hear more difference in density between the verses, pre-choruses and choruses through the first 2/3 of the song. As it is, the first verse is just a touch less complex than the first chorus, and the second verse sounds roughly the same as the first. Possibly more variation in the drums could help, or the use of more interesting percussion instruments on the choruses and/or second verse. I'm nitpicking, though; this is a very strong entry which ticks almost all the boxes.



The Dutch Widows - Hie The Night


When "Hie the night, hollow-cheeked and hardened" comes in, it sounds a bit like The Church, in all the best ways. The overlap of that line with the line that precedes it is very effective. The concept of the song is interesting; I'm a little less convinced that the lovely music and the poetry of "hollow-cheeked and hardened" works with the first-person cynical voice of the newspaper editor. (One way to make it work would be to have multiple vocals only on the more "third-person" line "Hie the night, hollow-cheeked and hardened to this.") The production/mix are well executed, and the arrangement varies nicely during the verses, and the chorus change to a major key is powerful, but because the range of notes on the vocals is fairly narrow, the song has a "same-y-ness" to it that the arrangement doesn't really deserve. More melodic variation on the chorus would help alleviate this. "Headlines, headlines" simply repeats a few too many times on the same notes. The application of the challenge on this track is acceptable, though not particularly prominent. Clever concept, generally well executed, and a finessed production, though.



Stacking Theory - The Mistake


The lyrics effectively tell both the employment story and a romantic story. There are some lovely lines ("the time we had was razor-thin/ the long and short of losing everything," "the shortest pause between our words/ would hold the weight of all/ the hope you burned." Knowing about the Glassdoor posting made the "watched your fury rage through the glass" funny, but the line works without knowing that. The intro synth solo and the Frippy guitar motif at 02:12 are superb, and the song could benefit from more of them. The final vocal delivery/drop is perfect, especially with what sounds like gated guitar underneath. The unusually long outro works. However, the bridge ("tallest person in the world") lyrics are less fresh/novel than the verses. The application of the challenge is acceptable, though not particularly prominent. The solo doesn't add much, and that's because of a fundamental quality of the song: the guitar and the vocals are really in the same frequency range and of similar timbre. The melody, while pleasant, isn't vastly variable, either, and with the choice to make the solo basically follow the melody, too much of the song sounds the same. After a while, it's easy to tune out and miss the well-crafted lyrics and the nuances of the music. There are a few ways to address this; some suggestions (from strongest to least strong) follow. First, use the same Fripp-style guitars for the solo — the higher frequency range and clear timbre makes a fresh change from the rest of the song, a perfect contrast which underscores the "mistake" of the title when the timbre goes garage again. Those same guitars could add more audible flickers in the outro as well, tying the song together. They could actually be used for the intro as well; that intro synth, while it sounds nice, doesn't (unless I missed it) recur. Another approach could be to vary the vocal treatment/FX in different parts of the song (e.g. "the tallest person in the world" section could potentially be made smoother, or even thinner/more distant), though the effect you're using may be a Stacking Theory signature sound that you may be loathe to alter. A final way to approach it would be to make more significant changes in the melody.



Vehicles of Beware - Getting to the gig


This song does a good job of applying the challenge, and the lyrics are fun and fresh. The accompaniment, while simple, has a nice sound and is well executed, including the soft percussion — this is a good example of how fairly simple instrumentation can sound professional and polished. The light harmonies that come in, and the countermelody that follows, have a pretty effect. But the simplicity of the tune starts to feel a bit restrictive by the end; the chords stay the same throughout many of the sections of the song, and there isn't a strong arc or story to the lyrics, and that makes the song lean hard on the arrangement. To pull this off, the vocals need to be on key, and there are a few places in the harmonies where they aren't (e.g. "long way around"). There are also a few places where the vocal drops out/misses on the low note ("back"). Other than that, the vocals are lovely and well executed. Overall, the song is a pleasing earworm, and tightening up the vocal tuning would make it even better.



Hot Pink Halo - Mark, Run


An excellent application of the challenge and an overall superb entry. The suspended quality of the main piano riff, the clear tones of the piano, and the textured multitracking of the vocals work very well together to create an atmosphere. The described camera angles ("Zoom in..."), running path ("Loop round...") and the piano part also work together, making the song work on a number of levels. The additional instrumentation that comes in gradually provides shape to the piece and prevents it from sounding repetitive. This piece is really excellent, and the only point that might even be considered a mild critique is that the verses sound a little bit like The Replacements' "Swinging Party." It's not so much of a similarity that it needs to be changed, though.



The Moon Bureau - Fail Pyre


Lovely jangle-pop sound with novel and clever lyrics ("fengiest of shuis" 😆) that meets the challenge deftly. The vocal harmonies are pleasant. The melody is simple but catchy and the breathless vocal delivery is appealing. The jangly/lead guitar performance is a little bumpy. The note choice on "seemed for a minute" grates on the ears, and because that guitar is so (painfully) far forward in the mix, every small error or missed beat is very audible. Because of the well-adhered-to trochaic/iambic meter, the vocalist is forced to accent "it" in "it seemed;" that's also a little jarring on the ears. A rewrite of that line so that the accent falls on a natural word (keep the meter!) would be worth doing to make the song tighter. Generally, a successful song that packs a lot into a short duration.



Jim Tyrrell - Shadows


Lovely intro guitar with the feel of CSN's "Helplessly Hoping." A clear arc to the lyrics and some excellent couplets, e.g. "You’ve got to leave this place behind/ To really change your name" and "Some people casting shadows /And most just throwing shade." The rhyme scheme is interesting and effective. The vocal has a nice timbre that contrasts with the guitar, though it could be louder, and the note at the end of each second line isn't entirely discernible. That is — it's audible, but it's hard to tell what note is being sung. There's the impression of the song being at the bottom of the vocal range of the singer, but it could also be the style in which it's being sung. While the lyrics do have an arc, the reason for sticking around is not made clear. The song has neither a refrain or a bridge, but this provides an opportunity; adding a short bridge with a shift in melody/chords that describes what is keeping the narrator in place would bring a lot of depth to the song and also a lot of melodic and harmonic interest. A great start that could be made stronger without too much effort.



Celestial Drift - Southbound I-75


We enjoy journeying along with the protagonist and get a colorful perspective on the highway with this song. The varying vocal rhythm keeps it interesting, and there are some truly ear-pleasing lines, such as "In my green Ford Taurus with the V6 engine" and "Well I’m making good time and the highway’s clear and the traffic’s moving well." The drops, e.g. at "rest for a minute," are effective punctuation that complement the lyrics (well done on that!) and keep the song interesting. The pedal steel solo is also nice punctuation, but careful about pitchiness/tuning issues (always tricky with pedal steel, obv., since the goal is to slide onto the note). Vocal harmonies sound good and are at a good level; the production and mix in general is well balanced. With a song of this nature, rhythmic precision in vocal delivery is important, and mostly is successful, but the places where it misses stand out. "I’m gonna get there on my own" lags just fractions of a second, but it's enough to drag. A couple of the "south I-75" repeats drag just a microscopic amount, too, as does the second "Both hands on the wheel" and the "nose picks up." The meter break at "insane" is annoying, though you'd likely have to rewrite both that and the line before it to find another, one-syllable rhyme. "Fountain drink" sounds stuffed in, even though the number of syllables isn't off. A very enjoyable journey, marred only slightly by a lack of precision here and there.



Siebass - It’s been a long time


Bass lead-in is great. Love the X (band)-style harmonies on "Would you pretend for me?" and the chorus (which also has a bit of a Gin Blossoms vibe). "Just a lousy sticker" has a great vocal tone, perfectly employed as an accent. The verse lyrics, although mostly not terribly novel, do provide a nuanced description of the way a relationship can fade out before it ends. Best stanza is the one that starts "You go to sleep while I'm awake/ You get up while I'm still dreaming..." "Disdain in your knife-eyes" feels a little clumsy. The "falling/falling" bridge is an interesting sound, but you might want to think about a different lyrical message on the first iteration (OR, skip the first one and move from the 2nd chorus to the solo and then end on the bridge that you wrote); the first bridge carries the same message as the rest of the song, and a bridge in general presents an opportunity for a new slant on a story. You take advantage of that nicely with the 2nd iteration ("just bad enough I'll be glad/ Glad it's over"). The first iteration doesn't really add anything to the song, so it would be a lot tighter if you find a way to leave it out. The drums sound great (take that, SoCal Kyle!), but they really stick out and could sit further back in the mix; probably a volume issue but maybe a touch of reverb could help.



Jealous Brother - I Think You Know


Tasty guitar riff and solid, assertive guitars, this track is well produced and mixed. The verse lyrics are particularly creative. Vocals and harmonies are solid. The bridge solo is a good deviation from the verse and chorus. The challenge here is that the bridge is the only point of deviation. Because essentially the same instrumentation and vocal arrangement is used throughout the verses and choruses during the rest of the song, and the melody isn't super-novel, the sections tend to blur together. Adding some shape, which could take the form of instrumental or vocal building throughout the song (e.g. start with fewer instruments and vocal parts, add more as you go along) or differentiated chorus and verse (introduce a new instrument on the choruses, or save the harmonies for the chorus or verse, or add another vocal on the chorus), just as some examples, would be helpful. It's nice to hear such fresh-sounding verse lyrics; it would be worth varying the chorus lyrics a little too. That said, solid start, well performed.



Governing Dynamics - Fire In The Distance


Smooth and effective instrumental build at the start of the song. The song's instrumental arrangement is excellent, with nice variation in density and volume throughout. There's novelty to the lyrics, and they mostly parse well, though "fighting how I feel/ and failing how I choose" sounds a little crowded. Production is competent, though vocals could come up very very slightly in the mix and drums slightly down or back (perhaps add a touch of reverb). Vocal quality is excellent, with the exception that "warmth" and to a lesser extent "souls" seem a little off key on the second chorus, as does "not even [slow]." The high reach on "left all alone" is a great accent. The song does a good job of personalizing a technology in a way that lets the song hold multiple meanings for the listener. The drop at the bridge is good. It might be interesting to change up the vocal FX during the bridge, e.g. pull back on the echo/reverb and bring the voice closer to the listener. It would have an intimacy that could bring up the emotional salience of the song.



Pigfarmer Jr - Human Again


Nice driving sound on this one. The guitar riff has a great sound to it. The use of long/short notes is satisfying. The performance is solid, though the mix strongly favors the guitar; it's debatable, but I think bringing the vocal a bit forward in the mix would be a plus. Starting so many lines with "She" is a little tiring on the ear, such that the bridge is an aural relief. (I recognize the possibility that this is because you're making some kind of reference that I haven't picked up on; nevertheless, it's wearing.) You create some shape to the song with the very soft keyboard bell-tones (xylophone?), but they are hard to hear; they could come up, and/or there could be other instruments to vary the arrangement throughout. The lyrics aren't terribly novel, though they sound heartfelt — sounds a bit like you're singing about a pet.



Ominous Ride - Hallucination


I normally don't care for stories about writing and songs about songwriting, but there are exceptions, and this is one of them; you pull the topic off because of the clever lyrics and nods to humor here, which contrast well with the rather serious musical style. BTW: it’s hard not to think of Queen's "We Will Rock You" during the monotone verses.The bass riff that starts the song has a grippy sound, and the drum drop that ends it sounds great. Varying the instrumentation on the verses and chorus works well. Synchronizing the vocals on "hallucination" OR making them even less synchronized, if that's the effect you want, so it's clearly on purpose, would help the chorus sound less disorganized/sloppy. The mix is a bit too bass-heavy in parts — partly that's the mix itself, partly that's the paucity of any sounds in the mid-treble range. Some additional instrumentation (or a howling soprano in the background, à la Pink Floyd's "Great Gig in the Sky") might be a way to address this. The song feels a little long for the concept, despite not being a long song; ironically, I think inserting the solo you describe could help with this. The flatness of the melody on the verses and bridge and the minimal chorus means there's just not enough change throughout the song, and though your arrangement helps a lot, a bit more punctuation is needed.



Flintsteel - Stay Alive


The challenge seems to have helped this song break away from the slightly hackneyed sound that your work sometimes ventures into; this song is musically fresh, and the unexpected rhythm of it is part of that. As an anthem, this has vigor and force. The instrumental performance is tight and highly competent. The vocal performance is particularly strong on the pre-chorus and chorus. The verse vocal would benefit from some vocal FX to make it gruffer — distortion, chorus, etc — as this would create an even stronger contrast between verse and pre/chorus. The lyrics, while not incredibly novel, are solid. The first part of the instrumental break (2:14-2:34) is a weak point that doesn't add much. Partly that's because the rhythm guitar is louder than the solo, but partly that's because the solo isn't very novel or engaging; the second part of the break (harmonizing guitar sounds) is better. But overall, the song is a solid application of considerable musical talent.


Dream Bells - Caerus


An image-rich portrait expressed in the lyrics. The shift to spoken lyrics for the third stanza helps the shape of the song; consider using a different vocal effect, though. Making this section less "shimmery"/staticky — perhaps EQ-constrained, like an AM radio or telephone effect, or distorted — would provide greater contrast. Because your songs have a lot of treble/"air," contrast could help to relax the ear and make the return of the shimmer more welcome in stanza four. The lyrics poise just on the edge of saying something interesting, and with a little stretch, could get there. The ingredients are there, it is almost speaking to a relationship between perceived time and elapsed time, or perceived time and the seasons, in lines like "illusions of forever break," but it doesn't successfully complete the connection. It would be worth trying to go there. The song does just meet the R2 challenge, but not in a way that is particularly novel or noteworthy. Very pretty, though, and nicely executed/produced.



Möbius Strip Club - The Galaxy of You


A lovely and novel concept for a song, nicely expressed in the well-crafted lyrics. The arrangement and vocal style have a pleasant vintage tilt. The arrangement of instruments both sounds nice and matches the lyrical notion of freckles and the concept of outer space/galaxies. The vocal is mostly well executed, but occasionally sounds pitchy (e.g. "exploration", "resonating"). The harmonies on the final stanza are interesting and appealing. The production could be better on the vocals, however; the vocalist(s) is/are underserved by it. The voice sounds thinner and less full-spectrum and powerful than I believe it actually is. It could also be a little louder in the mix, and some compression would also help it stand out. The song serves as an ode, but it doesn't have much emotional (nor a huge amount of musical) variance/arc. It would be interesting to have (at least) a bridge that provides some contrast and shape.



Sober - Look Away


It's impossible to ignore that the opening lick sounds like the lead guitar on Heart's "Crazy on You." A flattering comparison, but possibly a little too close, though you mix it up almost immediately. However, the rest of the song sounds fresh, and the contrast between the banjo, the harmonies, and the rapid-fire drums is very effective, and the metre changes are delightful. The lyrics express the anguish and the complexity of the situation successfully (the bio wasn't necessary to have a basic understanding of the song). The song does a good job of making a "prominent and creative" use of long/short notes. Saving the harmonies for the chorus was a good idea; they have more punch on the chorus. Vocal and instrumental performance quality is high. A few of the lyrical lines feel weaker — "saving or not," "You carried all that weight/ I hope that someday you an find your peace" (it fits the story, but it's a little less fresh) — while others are stronger ("waiting for the drop/ knowing someday I'll wake up to the news"). The extra-slow bridge obviously adds to the challenge, and the lyrics are good, but I'm not convinced that the drop to double-slow actually serves the song; consider handling that section differently musically/rhythmically. An emotionally and musically tight track which feels shorter than its length (a good thing) and expresses an experience that isn't common to hear about in songs, but which too many folks have gone through.



Piss Enema - Bedazzling Necrotic Flesh [SHADOW]


Love the industrial sound of this. It does meet the challenge, and the intelligible lyric clip is amusing. I would love to hear more variation in the sounds that are rapping out the rhythm  — almost all the textural/density/timbre variation is in the vocal.


Joy Sitler - Breathe Her In [SHADOW]


This is a lovely and heartfelt song about finding one’s self and losing friends because they couldn’t accept that. The small vocal effect where the pre-chorus vocal comes in and overlaps the verse vocal is sophisticated and pleasant. Some of the small in-line rhymes (“hate me now/can’t see how”) are quite satisfying on the ear. The vocal performance is strong and clear, and the style varies nicely between the “fast” and “slow” parts. Layering the verse and chorus together makes an effective pre-bridge. The bridge could be more melodically varied, though. There’s an arc to the lyrics. The song is well performed and nicely produced, it’s catchy and emotionally resonant. Well done.



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