Here are your rankings from Valerie Polichar:
Read on for Valerie's reviews!
What a great bunch of SpinTuners! Yes, even you down at the bottom of my (or everyone’s) ratings.
We're at that point in the contest where there are really no bad songs, and so what let most of these down was something small — perhaps the song didn’t try to do enough, or the melody was a little repetitive, or the transitions weren’t smooth. I know the challenge meant a lot of hard work and thought, and that probably rushed some of the arrangements and performances, and possibly constrained some of the melodies. Still, I firmly believe that every song here will end up a truly great tune once you’ve cleaned it up and re-recorded it. As always, happy to discuss any of my comments if it would help. (And if they don’t resonate for you, you know what to do: throw ‘em out!)
David Taro - Don’t You Want Me Anymore
Very catchy music, with clear use of motivic development. Well performed and arranged. The bridge is a great change (music/effects/arrangement), and excellent use of lyrics and vocal effects. "On a scale of one to fear" is a truly great line. Well arranged and produced track. OTOH, the line "Maybe you’re sweet, maybe you’re scary" isn't the strongest, and reusing "sweet" on the line "It’s never sounded so sweet" makes it even less effective. But these are nits in an overall very strong song that feels radio-ready.
The Moon Bureau - I Left My Sweater at the Discotheque
The concept of the song is cute — it has an almost 1950's story arc. A couple of the lines are particularly appealing, e.g. "I’m outside of the velvet rope with very unimportant people," and "I got the cardigan for the win." The little pause before "if I could call you back" is effective. The organ sounds good with the guitars. The song does use motivic development, though not in a particularly complex or novel way, and the melody sounds overly repetitious after a while. The fact that the arrangement doesn't vary much throughout the song enhances this problem. The lead vocal is off key in a number of places. We all celebrate the happy ending of the song (and the abrupt ending works well here) — but there just isn't a lot to it.
This Big Old Endless Sky - of ragged mountain ranges
Nice build at the start. The lyrics serve as an effective anti-anthem and are well crafted. The solos show off the motivic development and are very listenable. Because you're starting in such a big sound place, it's hard to move it up further (the doubled vox on the chorus do that a bit, but only a bit). The first place that gives you the opportunity to do that is the bridge/outro drop, and that's great, but then you don't use it — you let the song peter out. You could leverage that — make it a real bridge — to go big again. And it might be worth trying to create more build all along — between first verse and first chorus, between first and second verse, between second verse and chorus, all of that holding interest and making that bridge/outro drop even more emphatic. BTW, there's a cycling, arpeggiated guitar in the background that is just barely audible, but it could be a bit louder and it would add interest.
Vehicles of Beware - Lordless Lucy
The motivic development is clear. Great sound on the instrumental break. Nice proggy feel to the song. The lyrics, while colorful, don't really draw a clear or consistent picture of the character at the heart of the song. "Demure" doesn't really go with "possessing all she sees," and it's hard to envision "lordless," "languid," and "lithe" all describing the same person at the same time. I am sure I'm missing a reference here — and that may be part of the problem I'm having with the lyrics. I like the sound of them, but I can't grasp the storyline or even the vignette presented here. The lead guitar (or bass?) could be softer, and the vocal and (especially) organ higher, in the mix, but the mix isn't too bad, and arrangement is good, though performance could be tighter. There's some great organ riffs in there.
The Dutch Widows - There's always a book to justify the actions of a thin-skinned baby man and he probably wrote it…
Another song from the perspective of someone who sounds… unpleasant. You've pulled off the verses well, presenting that perspective deftly and believably. The synth has a nice line to it and makes a nice contrast to the other instruments. The variation in the timing/rhythm of the backing vocal on the chorus is quite appealing. The song ends somewhat abruptly but with a nice little synth lick. But the melody doesn't have a lot of variation in it, and wears on the ear; a bit more instrumental variability especially over the various (similar) lines of the chorus would help (the backing vocal variation does help, but not enough). Lead guitar could be doing a bit more to add variability in terms of different riffs or more motivic development in the riffs. Performance, however, is professional and smooth.
Hot Pink Halo - Radiant Joy
Really love the bassline in this. It makes a lovely contrast to your voice throughout the song but especially on the chorus. The intervals used in the melody are interesting, unexpected and well selected. Arrangement is well suited to the song. The lyrics are a bit variable — having both "leading us to light" and "you are a light in the dark" alongside "radiant light" seems to be overusing the metaphor, and "a beacon in the night" doubles down — but "It bears repeating" being repeated is quite effective, and the chorus is heartfelt. The song could have been longer, and an outro would be nice — it ends a bit abruptly. More could have been done with the bridge. This is well performed, though, and the melody is haunting.
Jealous Brother - Low Bottoms
Very catchy, and the instrumentation is extremely appealing, especially the fiddle and banjo. The harmonies that split out from the main vocal in the latter part of the verses work beautifully. Everything is performed very well, and the arrangement really works. The slight rock'n'roll feel of the first part of the second solo/outro is a great turn; the fiddle solo in both places could be a little more interesting (and still, I think, keep the motivic development). It would be nice to see the vocal recur after the extensive solo (what is now serving as an outro); we're left wanting more, which is better than the opposite, but the song feels a little unfinished. A more challenging problem is that the emphasis on the ends of all the lines of the final stanza is really awkward. It's at least consistent, so it's clear you're aware of it, but the listener's ear is going to hitch up a little on the "TUMS," "BLUMS," "TUN," "OF NUTH" emphases. You could adjust the melody/rhythm a little on the final stanza to avoid this, and that might be worthwhile. I am not sure exactly what this song is about, FWIW, but the song is so catchy that this isn't really a problem. Well performed, arranged and produced.
Celestial Drift - Skinner
Really like the meter changes and the intro. Great story in the lyrics — reminds me a bit of the Mark Kozelek/Jimmy Lavalle album. "His moral radio was always picking up static" is a terrific line. The drop before "he was in" is great, as is the speed-up in the music that follows. That said, the stanza that starts "Get up in the morning and get in your Corolla" doesn't add a lot to advance the story, and might be able to be cut for a tighter story. The vocal on "Oh Skinner…/ I thought I knew ya/ But I guess I didn’t like I thought I did…" doesn't sound as loose as it should, and it also sounds off key. The final spoken section works, and wraps the story well. The organ coming in at "for you" is great, but it's too far down in the mix, and there's something kind of messy about the performance at this point too — some instrument sounds out of tune, but I can't pin it down. Still a great story and compelling musical arrangement.
Governing Dynamics - Put The Gun Down
High guitar licks are a lovely counterpoint to the melody. The performance is solid and the harmonies sound great. The backing music is catchy and appealing. The guitar noodling right before the bridge is particularly pretty. The lyrics are generally excellent; there are so many great lines/stanzas here, like "When the sun's down/ A shot in dark is a beggar's bet/ The chips are still falling/ How do your know the shape you’re gonna get" and "A bleeding heart/ Met with deflection." That said, part of the bridge ("But growth demands we turn/ Towards teachable, not terminal") is a little clunky/on the nose, and the vocals/melody here aren't as strong as well — you could possibly drop this whole section ("We all make mistakes" through "terminal"). The lyrics/melody which follow — the whole "But who am I to say" stanza — are better, and this whole stanza/bridge is an excellent turn for the song, and leads beautifully into the final chorus. (BTW, small nit; "Mirage" is better pronounced with a soft 'g' - "mih- RAHZH".)
Sober - The Harder Road
The song does a good job of employing motivic development, and the melody works well, carving out a novel sound while clearly seated in genre. It's a well-crafted song for the most part, lyrically fairly solid, but "And though the father, being fled/ Left them without where or why/ The pairing lived and made their miles" is awkward (the middle line is ok, but the other two are clumsy), and "if you would loan it" doesn't really make sense if you're talking about a drink (I think?). The melody of the verses gets a little old on the ear by the end of the song, though the chorus remains fresh-sounding. The music does evoke rigodon, but the arrangement/performance feels messy in places. This might be partly because the rhythm and counter-rhythms all continue under the vocal line, so it can be hard to grasp the primary beat; might also be because the mix isn't perfectly tight. The backing vocals in particular aren't always tight. There are also a lot of instruments — including the backing vocals — in the same section of frequency space, so they blur together a bit. The vocal is a bit high in the mix for such an instrument-heavy song. It's still a great start at what will eventually be a great song.
Flintsteel - Absolved
This challenge has you creating something very interesting; it's rough still, but a very creative effort.The proggy intro segues awkwardly into the more metal lead-in, but with a little effort it could be immensely effective. The melody sounds original and fresh (especially on the pre-chorus), and the performance is strong. The line "Someday soon the sun will rise again" is particularly well executed and the uplifted end is unexpected, in a good way. Double-timing the drums works well on the chorus. Love the drop at around 3:30 followed by that huge growl/scream. The long instrumental section is sloppy in spots; tightening up the performance here would be worthwhile. That said, it's a good add and allows more motivic development. Small nit: the stress on "it" in "cast it" sounds awkward. The song doesn’t quite hang together solidly — transition work may help this — but it’s on its way to a terrific piece.
Dream Bells - Temple
Powerful dubstep sound suits the powerful subject matter. Novel and interesting contrast between the punky shouted vox and the Gregorian chant quality of the sung vocals, which also suit the subject matter. The shouted lyrics are very effective, but all of the vocals are a little soft, including the shouts. The vocal effects sound good, it just all needs to be higher in the mix. The sparkling synth at the end is a nice coda, but it sounds a little tacked-on; the segue isn't smooth. The same problem holds, though to a lesser degree, for the intro -> song itself and transition to/from the instrumental breaks in several places. There's a pieced-together quality that makes the song hold less power than it should.
Joy Sitler - Gravel Road [SHADOW]
Lovely execution of a classic-sounding song. The syncopation gives it just that little touch of modernity. The vocals are clear and pretty, and the simple accompaniment and harmonies suit well (however, the guitar and the harmonies could be higher in the mix). The motivic development helps keep the song interesting. It might be nice to occasionally vary the rhythm (perhaps on the "If you had to go" section?), but I don't have too many quibbles with this song.
Möbius Strip Club - Matching Baggage [SHADOW]
Charming lyrics and a pleasant melody. The stops on "shut the door" are effective. The harmonies are lovely, especially in places like "heavy bag upon your lap." The keyboard riffs are appealing. The change in instrumentation on "Matching baggage is a luxury..." is a great idea. The "Forging onward, path unsure" stanza is probably the weakest and could usefully be dispensed with for more punch. Because the guitar is far too high in the mix and the vocals far too low, the flaws in the guitar really stand out, and they needn't. Putting the guitar volume down and adding some reverb and perhaps a teensy slapback echo would help. Be careful to keep the harmonies very tight (that is, singing each syllable at precisely the same time in both voices). A smidge of pitch correction in a couple of places would help mesh the harmonies a little better.
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