Here are your Round 2 rankings from Paul R. Potts:
Read on for Paul's reviews!
Hello, dear readers!
Wow, is it time for round 2 already?
Judging round 1 was a real challenge. From what I’ve heard of the round 2 songs so far, round 2 will also be a challenge, because there are so many songs and so many of them sound amazing! Last time we had 44 official entries and 3 shadows. This time we’re down to 31 official entries and 6 shadows. That’s still a lot of songs, especially since I will review (but not rank) the shadows, but it’s ten fewer in total than last time. In theory this should go a bit faster, but we have less time to get our ratings in. So I’d better get on it!
Reading the other judges’ reviews last time was quite interesting — not just in the way we often ranked different songs quite differently, but in what we focused on in our reviews. Going forward, I’ll be trying to use some of the best reviews of the other judges as examples of how to give more hepful criticism and focus on the strengths of the songs. And so far it seems like a lot of the round 2 songs are very strong!
Two contestants were in the running and failed to submit songs in time for round 2: Also In Blue and Boffo Yux Dudes. Also In Blue’s song “Vicious Circle” was my favorite last time, so this is a bit disappointing! But this artist has won SpinTunes previously, so I don’t feel too bad. This means two slots opened up, and Paul Dermody and Star Bear are back in the running now, which should make things even more interesting!
Update and Apology
It’s my birthday, and what I got for my birthday this year was… cancer!
Well, sort of. I had two polyps removed during a colonoscopy last week. One of them was a common benign type, and one of them contained cancer cells. So far, the pathology and followup tests appear to show that they caught it early enough that it did not spread anywhere else in my body. I still have an MRI scheduled, which I will have in early October if the state doesn’t cut off our Medicaid, and will have regular followup exams.
So, this has been a more difficult week than usual, as I’ve had blood tests, a CT scan, a consultation with a cancer surgeon, and a sigmoidoscopy, all while trying to put work hours in (because I’m not an employee, but a contractor, if I don’t bill hours, I don’t get paid), and also trying to give the SpinTunes songs the attention they deserve.
My digestive tract did not like either the two bottles of barium solution or the IV contrast. I’m happy to say I didn’t actually shit myself on the way home from the CT scan, but I came this close. It was only through the power of prayer and the strength of my sphincter that I held back the eruption, and avoided having to spend quite a lot of work cleaning out the car. Then it nearly happened again on my way home from the sigmoidoscopy. Note to self: next time I have to go in for this sort of test, it’s not sufficient to just wear sweatpants and bring a spare pair of underwear. I need to bring a puddle pad and a thick towel to sit on in the car, a pack of wipes, a trash bag, and a change of pants and underwear. And maybe spare socks and shoes.
I’m old enough to remember the pilot episode of South Park where Cartman utters the immortal words “How come everything today has involved things either coming in or going out of my ass?!” That was my Thursday. My digestive system is still tetchy. If you’re old enough to remember laughing at that show when it came out, it’s probably time for you to get your colonoscopy… or at least to take the Cologuard poop test. Talk to your doctor about your risk factors. Colonoscopy prep is unpleasant but the procedure itself is easier than the prep and shouldn’t even be painful, which is not true of colon cancer. My grandfather died of metastatic colon cancer when I was ten, and I was around him enough to know that he didn’t enjoy the experience at all.
So, the apology part: I have done my best this week. I am listening and reviewing as hard as I can today. I will get my rankings and reviews in, but the reviews won’t be nearly as detailed as they were last time. I dunno, maybe some of you will consider that a good thing, but I am not happy about being unable to thoroughly consider and review each song with a level of attention that reflects the effort the contestants put into creating them. I just didn’t get enough time this week.
General Thoughts on Round 2
The challenge this time was: “Write and record a song that makes prominent and creative use of melisma, the singing of a single syllable of text while moving between several different notes in succession. You must include melisma on syllables of actual words and not only nonsense lyrics or open vowels.” Melisma can be found in all sorts of musical genres so this should not actually be too limiting. It does ask participants to focus on their singing, and not everyone contributing is really a strong singer. This will be easier for some contributors than others. But that’s sort of the point of these challenges — asking contributors to stretch themselves! Personally I’ll be looking for especially creative uses of melisma — not just that it’s there in the song, but that it supports or emphasizes the story the song tells in the lyrics or the emotional content of the song.
Because so many of the songs are strong, I’m getting rid of the “4 buckets” scheme I used last time. It doesn’t seem fair to call songs with lower rankings “weaker.” Many of them are only ranked because we’re asked to rank them. Yes, it’s fairly arbitrary, but we do the best we can. This time I have to go mostly by how much each song makes me feel something.
The Contenders
These are the songs that made me really want to listen to them again and again.
1. Cheslain — Apostasy
Cheslain’s song last round, “Bokeh the Squid,” was beautiful but hard for me to understand and identify with. I was not expecting Chelsain’s round 2 song to be my favorite of the round.
This one is is considerably different, while retaining a lot of the same vocal and accompaniment style. This is a lovely, moving, heartfelt song, with a restrained but passionate vocal performance. The music manages to swing between beautiful and ominous, with some unusual chord intervals that make my ears, ummm, perk up their ears. There’s a tape-loop echo effect that is blended in a bit later in the track and I find it to be very effective. The use of melisma is subtler than some submissions this entry, but very much there. The finger-picked guitar part that flows through the whole song is gorgeous. I especially like the near-dissonant intervals in that part. There isn’t a flaw to be found in the recording, arrangement, or mix. The net effect is that I inevitably close my eyes and sway to the music.
Well done!
2. Sober — I’ll Try Again
OK, I’m getting a bit weirded out. I listened to the first few songs in album order but today I’m mising it up so I make sure to review the album, and I started at the end of the album. The song notes say:
A somewhat-rare love song from me, with the obligatory death imagery.
I just listened to “Letting Go” and this is creeping me out. For no reason whatsoever (see “Update and Apology” above), my thoughts have been on the morbid side this week. The lyric “I’ll fill up my pockets with stones from the shore” is giving Virginia Woolf… a bit creepy! Let me take a moment to compose myself… (that’s a little songwriter joke)… (nearly microscopic, almost undetectable)… whew, OK.
The music is terrific. The artist says in the song notes “I don’t think I’m getting any better,” regarding fiddle-playing, but I don’t think they need to. It sounds great. There’s a duelling-banjos things going on with one banjo following the melody and more banjo tracks doing some extremely tasty plucking and strumming to support it. The fiddle track sounds entirely fine to me — it sounds like you’re not playing anything on fiddle that is beyond your present reach, if that makes sense. In fact the music as a whole sounds great, and the vocal tracks are excellent, too.
So the mood of the lyric is a bit dark, but the chorus keeps emphasizing that there will be a tomorrow. Sometimes, trying again is all we can do. (So get out and vote for your politician of choice, I guess, that’ll fix it… yeah, that’s it…). Anyway, bravo!
3. Stacking Theory — no
I started out a bit confused after reading the sound bio — I had to go back and listen to Stacking Theory’s round 1 entry, “the shape we’re in.” Some of these vocalists sound a bit similar — forgive me. We’re still dealing with a lot of songs.
Overall I think this is a more successful song than “the shape we’re in.” It has a much more flowing, less stilted feel to it. The use of melisma sounds natural and adding the vocal filtering effects also seems like a natural extension of the vocal performance. The use of arpeggiated synths and radio effects in the bridge fits very nicely with the flowing feel.
If “Replicant” is about Blade Runner (1982), this one feels like it is about Blade Runner 2049 (2017), the considerably darker sequel. It was about 9 years ago that I watched it, and was both fascinated and horrified by the film. I wrote a long review to get my complicated feelings about the film off my chest, and haven’t thought about it that much since, but this song has convinced me to order a 4K Blu-ray and re-watch it.
Some of the synth sounds clearly reference the fat “braaaammm” sounds that Hans Zimmer used for this sequel. And the lyrics are very effective, especially lines like
but i remember remembering the memory of you
though i’m not sure if i do.
That’s fantastic, and really conveys the protagonist’s struggle. Am I at all disappointed to have two songs referencing Blade Runner in the same round? Absolutely not! Both are very strong… how do I rank them? Well, very closely, is how.
4. Sunflower Bastard — Replicant
I don’t think Sunflower Bastard had any particular way of knowing that my second-favorite film soundtrack is the soundtrack to Blade Runner (1982). The film itself is very deeply flawed, as far as plot and character arcs go, but visually stunning, like me. Besides the amazing visual’s, the film’s music is what makes it memorable. I have several versions of the soundtrack album. Unfortunately Vangelis never released a really good one that contained all the music, without voiceovers, and which did not stuff in various other filler tracks that weren’t in the film. The most comprehensive soundtrack release is the fan-compiled Esper “Retirement” Edition, which spans six discs and includes a whole disc of ambient sound from various locations in the film, including the ever-present rain. The last one is a DVD-R and include 174 electronic dance music mixes inspired by Blade Runner!
Anyway, this song would be right at home on that 174-song playlist. In fact, it would be one of the best, if not the best, songs on that list.
Sunflower Bastard opens this track with fat synth brass lines that could have come straight out of the Yamaha CS-80 that Vangelis used to such amazing effect on the film soundtrack, and so I’m all in right from the get-go. A chirpy vintage “klopfgeist” metronome sound, the kind you get when you use the default metronome in Apple Logic, then kicks in, and the vocal starts. (Fun fact — the German word “klopfgeist” means “poltergeist,” and the metronome sound does sometimes get in your face and disrupt your recording session, like a mischevious ghost in the machine!)
The song itself is the heartfelt cry of a replicant who has just learned he’s a replicant, and I’m here for it:
i always felt human
i never knew then
i wasn’t right
Sunflower Bastard uses melisma to beautiful effect to emphasize the word “human,” which works perfectly in the song. The lyrics also say “they tell me that I will unfold in four,” which I think is a reference to a replicant’s four-year lifespan, as well as a more subtle reference to the origami unicorns in the film.
My only criticism of this song is that the artist seems to rely on using dialogue from the film, from several scenes showing the use of the Voigt-Kampff test, which screens humans from replicants, or at least is supposed to, and several phrases that aren’t in the film. There are also some wonderful bits of vocal backing the use of these sound clips: “I don’t know,” and “let me go.” So the structure of the song is intro, verse, chorus, verse, chorus. Then, at the 2-minute mark, we get almost 45 seconds of these bits of speech.
Musically, I do think this section works quite well, and acts as a bridge, but because it acts as a bridge, my ears expect a third verse. Instead we get chorus, repeat, and fade-out. So, the song has a nice traditional 3:30 length. I know in my reviews I often criticize songs for dragging, but in this case I’d actually like the song to go to 4:15 or so, because I want to hear a third verse! In this case I think the song earns the right to run longer.
I guess as criticism goes, that could be called “praising with faint damnation.” Overall a great contribution from Sunflower Bastard, one that impresses me in multiple ways. Keep it up!
5. Stefan Szabo — When It Comes
I expected great things from this artist after the very strong submission last time, and I am not disappointed. I’m running out of ways to praise arranging, recording, mixing, etc. Technically excellent, the lyric and vocal performance makes me Feel Things. A wonderful and moving contribution.
I’m not quite sure why so many of the submissions this round reference death and dying in some way, and why I’m reviewing them this week of all weeks, but it is what it is, and it’s strangely comforting, like I’m hearing from a dozen therapists.
6. traumadolls — Who You Are
Right out of the gate we’ve got a fat bass through a fuzz pedal of some kind. I’ve got a DOD “Grunge” 69B pedal and it sounds a bit like that. This works very nicely with the noisy waveforms in the synth percussion, which have some kind of unusual filter on them that gives them a spoken quality. This in turn contrasts nicely with some clean-sounding glassy keyboard sounds. The arrangement and build-up of the instruments over time is terrific, particularly the way that instruments come pouring in at the start of the second chorus. I like the contrast between the slow, sustained vocal notes and the agitated, shifting accompaniment.
I think there might be an autotune plugin on the lead voice track, audible especially at 1:20 and 1:43. I’ve used these myself at times and it is a challenge to make them unnoticeable, or nearly so. Here the vocal is already heavily processed, so I don’t think it really matters that the pitch-shifting is noticeable. I like the way the lead vocal actually overlaps itself at 1:35, propelling us from the chorus into the verse, and emphasizing the artificial nature of the processed sound. I’d be curious to know more about the whole vocal signal chain used. It sounds very good, if sometimes a little thin, on this song, but might be quite out of place in a different musical setting.
At about 2:50 as we head into the guitar solo the accompaniment chords change up in a musically interesting way. After the solo it seems like we have a key change. Have we descended a fourth? Just for a few lines? If I had more time this week I’d grab my guitar and try to figure out exactly what is going on, but alas. Maybe I can try playing along later.
Overall an impressive effort from traumadolls, and very much deserving of a high ranking this round.
7. Best Dad In Yorkshire — Common Sense
I especially like the lyric here. The rhymes are simple but effective:
Oh, common sense. Come to me
In the time of my need
Oh, common sense
Come to me
Before I concede
The little call-and-response vocal bits are a lot of fun. The use of melisma is relatively subtle, but it’s there, on some words like “head” in “my head is pounding,” and “common.” To put this another way, it sounds like a track in which the melisma might have just been done naturally and spontaneously while recording the vocal.
The percussion is very nice. The stacked vocal tracks here and there sound great. And we get a key change! In round 2, the competitors are starting to stretch their legs a bit and show us a bit more of what they can do, and I’m here for it!
8. The Pannacotta Army — Chime
The guitar on this track sounds fantastic, blending very nicely with the hi-hat, and so do the keyboard parts. The simple percussion is a very nice choice and like the way the bass line gives the track some extra movement. The vocal performance is restrained and a bit quiet, but sounds very good, especially when the backing vocals kick in. The use of melisma on the word “chime” sounds great. The reverb on the vocal is tastefully done.
I like the chorus, but if I have a criticism, it is that the verse lyrics don’t convey a whole lot of meaning to me.
Overall, the song is the perfect length, and ends nicely with an actual ending, not a fade out, right on time.
9. Ironbark — Don’t Get Behind Me
Ironbark again creates a nearly uncategorizable piece of music. The lyric is extremely funny, and the song is immaculately performed, arranged, recorded, mixed, and mastered. The use of melisma is perfect, calling attention to itself but also fitting into the general eclecticism of the whole tune. It would be ranked even higher, but for my feeling that emotionally, the track is a bit of a one-trick pony. The narrating character doesn’t turn to reveal another side, or reveal anything revelatory about himself that isn’t clear in the opening of the song.
10. Jennifer Lynne and the Dandelion Rebellion — Hope Is
Reminds me of: The Skyliners, Roy Orbison, Julee Cruise
This song so convincingly imitages the style of certain doo-wop ballads of the 1950s and 1960s, especially with the brushed snare and spare guitar line, that I immediately went down a rabbit hole trying to figure out which songs it most reminded me of! In any case, it’s beautifully constructed. I think the lyric might be subtly referencing Emily Dickinson’s poem “‘Hope’ is the thing with feathers.” Or maybe I’m just having a senior English major moment. The vocal performance is sweet and conveys emotion without being especially flashy, which fits the “vintage” song style nicely.
11. Pigfarmer Jr — I Don’t Know Why
Here we’ve got a straighforward, and very catchy, country love song. The lyric is simple, sometimes simple is best, and the sentiment is terrific:
I don’t know why she loves me
I don’t know why she cares
I don’t know why she needs me
But I feel broken
When she’s not there
I mean… that kind of says everything a love song should say, and nothing else, doesn’t it?
12. Star Bear — My Love Is Forever
Reminds me of: Beck, “Heart Is a Drum”
I was glad to learn that Star Bear was back in the running, and I’m happy to hear that the artist contributed a song in a much different style than last time — much more up front, much more naked. The guitar accompaniment line in this song is simple, but effective, as are the little solo bits, and the vocal is plaintive and poignant. I like the little spacey bleeps and boops. I hope we will hear more from this very creative artist.
13. Alright — Nathan Joe Long
Thanks a BUNCH, Nathan Joe Long… I thought I had pretty much nailed down the upper part of my rankings, and could leave that section alone, but noooooo… you had to come along and spoil it… now I have to reshufle most of my list…
This is an impressive song with a lot of instrumental and vocal layers. Death has been on my mind a lot this week (go figure) and so I really appreciate a song that is a thanatopsis, a view of death. This artist’s song has some very fine guitar, bass, and vocals and the mix is exceptionally clear and clean.
14. West of Vine — Another Kind of Leaving
I new last time that West of Vine was a strong songwriter and now we have more evidence. A short but sweet song with excellent use of melisma. The lyric is thought-provoking.
15. Hot Pink Halo — 42Ks in your KT-26s
Reminds me of: The Go-Gos
This is an upbeat poppy tune, with an infectious chorus. The word “run” is the word that gets the melisma treatment. I would have had no idea what a KT-26 is, although I think the song provides enough context that a listener can figure it out. I was once a runner. I had to switch to cycling due to constant injury, but I admire anyone who can stick with running.
The percussion in this track does a great job of propelling it. I like the keyboard lines quite a bit. The song doesn’t drag at all and it’s fun all the way through!
16. Carrie Spillane — Time Is All We Need
Last time, I reviewed Carrie Spillane’s song “The Shape of Our Goodbye,” and wrote:
Technically, it’s a master class on arranging and mixing, especially in the way the string line soars up and around the melody, playing a counter-melody. And the song concludes nicely; the length is perfect.
Just about everything I said about the song last time applies to this song. It sounds gorgeous. As I’m coming up on my 25th wedding anniversary, I am very familiar with some of the beautifully-expressed sentiments in this song. Time is all we need… but it’s the one thing we’re not guaranteed.
This song is not ranked as high as last time, but that is largely a function of the fact that so many of the other contenders turned in very strong songs this round. If I had a criticism, it is that the artist didn’t change up the style very much for this round, and I do like to hear the artists show us more than one facet of their songwriting persona. In other words, the artist has completely convinced me that they can write beautiful songs in this style, but I’d like to be convinced they can write songs in other styles, too.
17. Ominous Ride — No Grudge
In the song notes, the artist describes having difficulties getting to a finished track, noting that “…it sounded better during the writing stage.” As a judge I do make an effort to hear the song the artist envisioned, not only what they got on tape. So, my comments: first, I don’t think the artist actually has anything to apologize for, as far as what is on the track. The mix isn’t mind-blowingly great, but I can hear everything and it all blends well. I don’t think I need to use my imagination to fill in any gaps, really. It’s a strong contender with a really cool lyric and good vocal and guitar performance (the lyrics fall into the category of “quietly devastating.”)
If the multi-tracking and mixing is feeling like it is becoming a hindrance for this kind of a timed challenge, maybe next time try a more stripped-down, live-sounding arrangement… although I know that can be a challenge of its own because it really puts the performance right under a microscope, with nothing to hide behind. But based on this song, I have faith in you!
18. Huge Shark — Faraway
Reminds me of: Annie Lennox (“No More ‘I Love You’s’”), Kate Bush (particularly parts of her 2005 album Aerial)
The piano over simple percussion is soothing but propels the song, and I hear some strings come in there that fatten up the mix. The use of melisma is strong. The vocal performance is giving part smokey jazz lounge, part Twin Peaks. The chorus vocal, pitched unusually low, gives quite a contrast with the higher verse parts. It’s an intriguing combination. The sustained melisma on “far away” is not subtle but I think it works. I’m fond of the ending.
19. Jealous Brother — Soundcheckin’
This concept is so delightful and simple that I’m surprised I have never heard a song that plays with it before now. I think all bands should perform this song during Sound Check. I used to set up the sound gear for a church band, and I have friends who have made (barely) a living as freelance audio engineers, which includes offering mastering services and doing things like running sound for local venues in upstate New York. This song could have come straight out of our conversations where he describes how frustrating it can be to try to get the best live sound out of a band that thinks they are God’s gift to whatever cold, damp barn they’re performing in. Very nice!
20. Flintsteel — The Iron Man
In the song notes, the artist writes “[I] have to write a song about whatever book i am reading, it’s a disease” and I can relate!
I was pretty hard on Flintsteel last time due in part to the mixing and mastering of the song, which left very little dynamic range. I’m pleased to report that the situation is somewhat improved in this song, but not greatly. What has improved more is that this song is simply more fun. The lyric is funny and the vocal performance is funny too, right down to the pronounciation of “Iron” as “Eye-run,” which seems both postmodern and archaic. So this is not about the modern super-hero Iron Man, which is interesting, and makes me wonder how many other old iron man concepts existed before 1962.
21. chewmeupspitmeout — Howling at the Moon
Reminds me of: Credence Clearwater Revival, Jonathan Coulton’s “Blue Sunny Day”
Wow, is it getting close to Halloween already?
I didn’t know I needed to hear a psychedelic-rockabilly song by a mournful vampire, but apparently I did! This tune is a lot of fun and I really like the mournful guitar. The use of melisma is subtle enough that it just seems to fit with the song, without calling special attention to itself. A fine song and a fine effort.
22. The Moon Bureau — 501
An enjoyable song with a fun, clever, unexpected lyric, about being snubbed by a girl who literally “turns tail” and walks away, apparently because the narrator wasn’t cool enough to wear the Levis that were were au courant that day. When I was in high school, the hairsprayed girls got ready for the day by lying on their beds to wriggle into skin-tight Jordache jeans that left too little to the imagination, then acted indignant when the boys like me stared at the fully-detailed lessons in female anatomy. 501s, which were less skin-tight, were an upgrade!
Excuse me, I say, as I sit here in sweatpants and a tank top, I’m going to go get on eBay and look for a brick-red Members Only jacket, like the one I wore, because those things never go out of style…
23. Vom Vorton — Something in the Fog
Reminds me of: The Cure
It definitely is Halloween season. The Fog (1980) is a classic eighties horror film by John Carpenter, one of the first horror films I ever saw. It stars Adrienne Barbeau, who runs a small radio station in a lighthouse. Without that context I’m not sure the song would make a whole lot of sense. I don’t have a good feel for how many people in 2026 know this 1980 film. Anyway, it’s an enjoyable song. I can imagine it played “filk” style at a science fiction convention, with the audience joining in on the choruses.
24. miscellaneous owl — Rubbing the Velvet
The vocal performance sounds great on this song. The lyrics are sophisticated. The accompaniment parts are a bit busy, though, and the arpeggiated synth part in particular feels like it piles up and shift slightly out of sync with the beat. I don’t feel that the cold ending, where the audio just cuts off without even preserving a reverb tale, works very well — it just feels abrupt.
25. Brother Baker — You
I was sorry to read, in the song notes, that “one of the brothers in Brother Baker is going through some very challenging personal times.” I hope that improves for the brother in Brother Baker!
This is a classic garage band tune, and I like it quite a bit. The melisma on “you” fits the song very well. In the final mix, the vocals feel like they are hiding a bit behind the guitars, and could stand to have their levels brought up a bit. Both the lyric and vocal performance is quite strong and I’d like to hear them up front! I’d like to hear the backing vocals more clearly too. The drums are great.
26. Berkeley Social Scene — Whatever’s Clever
The overall mix sounds a bit soft and fuzzy to my ears, which is unfortunate, because I’d love to hear this one in a slightly moer polished form.
This is an energetic fun-sounding song that winds up being a damning criticism of an ex:
“Whatever’s clever” is all she knew
It’s never black ’n white, but always blue
Every endeavor was another run-through
She spent forever in a cold doom loop
As someone who frequently winds up getting myself into a “cold doom loop,” I like that, and I like the song, with its bridge and soloes and all. The backing keyboards are especially nice, and I like the “never never no no” gibberish vocal ear-candy section starting at about 2:30. The song gets points for ending well!
27. David Taro — Annie I Think I Love You
David Taro’s track last time, “Tesselations,” was a strong contender, and this one is, too. The music is a wall of fuzz guitars, bass, and drums. The lyrics are funny:
Annie, I’m not moronic
I know we’ll keep it all platonic
The twist on this song is that “Annie” is a singer/songwriter, and I’ve got a feeling the character singing the song has never actually met her in person. So the sentiment has a bit of a dark side, perhaps? Like the way “Every Breath You Take” was not a love song, not exactly. The extended “love” repeats start to feel like a bit much.
28. Cosmic Ray Corruption — Disappointment
Reminds me of: early Green Day?
That stuttering keyboard sound is very cool and I like the vocal performance quite a bit. The thrashing power chords are a nice accompaniment to the loose vocal. I enjoy this one, although the vocal performance gets kind of pitchy on the half-spoken choruses in a way that seems excessive for the style. The percussion gets grating on the choruses.
A fairly solid modern take on a punk rock song.
29. Paul Dermody — So Insane
This is the last song I’m writing a review for for this round of SpinTunes, although I’ve listened to it a couple of times before. I’d like to offer the artist a personal award: the Paul R. Potts award for tenacity and courage in songwriting! This was submitted as a shadow, but because some other artists failed to submit songs this round, this artist is back in the running and will get a ranking again.
The lyric is a rarity, something that really could become a genuine folk anthem, simple but powerful — a rallying cry for a marching song — something that could have come from the Civil Rights era, but also which feels like it belongs in our Civil Rights era. I like it a great deal, although “through the darkness ring” is not a line that really works well, in my opinion, and so that section could use some poetry repair.
The artist is not a strong singer when it comes to staying on key. It’s frustrating, because before the first verse, the vocal stays pretty well on-key, but starts to wander as soon as we get to the chorus, then it’s better on the verse (although not great), but then in the later choruses it gets worse. It sounds like what happens when a singer is unable to hear themselves clearly along with the backing, which would happen to me occasionally with my church band, if we were playing in a different venue where we didn’t have our usual monitoring available. All I can suggest here is to stick with it — there might be some techncial fixes, or the artist might just need more focused, guided practice at singing. Improvement is possible!
The backing track of layered acoustic guitars is simple but tuneful, with a nice shifting repeating figure.
30. the profane bells — She
Is this… really… a love song about… vomiting and diarrhea? I think it is! It’s certainly a bold choice… and the arrangement and production are very nice, but I can’t really “unhear” the opening. If I’ve completely understood the lyrics, I apologize…
31. The Dreams Corporation — Mother, Please… (short ver)
Do a judge a favor and go down and read the review of the full version of the song under “Shadows,” below, then come back.
I will say that I enjoy the shorter version more than the full 10:04 runtime of the unedited version. It feels closer to a song than an audio collage. But just about everything I had to say about the shadow applies to this as well. It’s asking an awful lot from the listener and not giving much back.
Shadows
Although we don’t rank them, I am including a few comments on the shadow entries.
Betty and the Rubble — Villain [SHADOW]
A noodly little piano intro, and we’re into it! The instrumentation is quite nice in this song — I hear what sounds like a full band with drums, bass, piano, and electric guitar. I’d like to hear a little more variation in the backing track — maybe more of a bridge, or a piano solo.
In the lyric, I especially like the line “Maybe I’m wrong / maybe I’m Delilah / stole her voice to write this song.” I’m not really sure what that means, but I like the rhyme and rhythm here. I listened to this song right after “Letting Go” and was surprised to hear references to the weaver.
Am I high, or is that little five-note piano figure a sly reference to the five-note piano figure from the theme music for the TV show “Severance?” Even if isn’t, it’s a nice touch. The vocal performance, backing vocals, and mix are all quite well-done. This is a confident piece of work!
Christine Fanning — Letting Go [SHADOW]
Back when stereophonic playack was relatively new, bands like The Beatles released mono mixes as the main product, and stereo mixes as a bit of an afterthought; there was no real consensus about how stereo mixes should be constructed. Some early stereo Beatles records were in “hard” stereo — vocals and instruments were entirely in one channel and not the other, and if you accidentally unplugged one speaker, or one earbud slipped out, the lead vocal might disappear almost completely, exept for a little microphone bleed.
I was a bit surprised to find that this song is in “hard” stereo, except for a little bleed. It’s distracting when listening on headphones, so after my first listen, I listened again with the tracks mixed to mono. This produces a bit of phasing, suggesting that there was some distance between the two microphones while recording, but I find it easier to focus on the song as a whole and the way the accompaniment and vocal parts blend this way, rather than listening to them separated. And mixed this way, I find it easier to hear a faint backing vocal in addition to the main vocal.
I’m not sure exactly what happened, except that I suspect the artist used a stereo pair of inputs, hard-panned left and right, with one microphone set up on vocal and one on guitar, although I’m not sure that explains the phasing. As far as creating a stereo image, that approach doesn’t quite work right.
I’m sorry to go on so long about this technical aspect of the recording, because it actually is a big improvement over last round, and I do like the song. The guitar part is simple but effective, with some arpeggio picking and hammered-on notes, and what might be a little slap-back delay, or might be a consequence of the mic placement.
The lyric is dark and seems to be about the acceptance of death, with metaphors like running out of gas, closing windows and doors, and knitting — I’m reminded of the three fates, Clotho, who spins the thread of a human life, Lachesis, who measures it, and Atropos, who cuts it; Atropos is known as “the inflexible one” because there’s bargaining won’t help once she’s snipped the thread. That’s always been a struggle for humans to accept, and I can feel some of that struggle in the song. The lyric has some other phrasings that I can’t quite get my head around, so I feel it could have used some further revising, but I like the heartfelt vocal performance and the use of melisma on the word “go.” I’m hearing Christine’s work much more clearly in this round than in the last round and I hope she will share more in the future!
Micah Sommersmith — I’m in Love [SHADOW]
Reminds me of: The Pogues
This is a (relatively) straightforward love song with a nice use of melisma on the word “love.” I say “relatively” because I feel like I might just possibly be detecting a hint of ironic exaggeration:
The seas will boil, the earth will fry
The sun will swallow up the sky
And someday I will surely die alone
Wait… alone? So how secure is this love, anyway? Is this actually a case of “eat, drink, and be merry, for tomorrow we die?”
Usually love songs are about the courtship and the lead-up to the delectation, not the post-coital musings. Galen allegedly wrote “Every animal is sad after sex except the human female and the rooster.” Is this a happysad song about post-coital tristesse?
Whether I’m reading too much into it or all that was intended (over-interpretation is a perpetual risk for recoverying English majors) I found it a fun song with a slightly puzzling lyric! The arrangment, particularly the bass line and harmony vocals, sounds great.
▷ — Way Too Much [SHADOW]
In case it doesn’t show up correctly in your browser, the artist name is supposed to be a triangle pointing right, like the symbol on a CD player or cassette deck’s play button. This is Unicode code point U+25B7.
I’m glad that this artist chose to come back and submit another shadow for this round. I’m also really glad to hear one of the artists go, shall I say “whole hog” with the challenge, taking the melisma concept to the breaking point and perhaps a bit past it — I was actually hoping someone would!
In the song notes, the artist said:
apparently this spintunes i’ve just been pushing my voice to do some absolutely ridiculous things
I agree, although I’d like to hear what you could do with a more straightforward serious style as well. But where last time I didn’t really like the vocal styling, this time I enjoy it quite a bit. I was definitely entertained. If this song was not a shadow, I would rank it fairly high. The lyrics are funny and relatable, and the vocal performance fits the sense of exasperation in the lyrics, and the use of melisma is genuinely funny. Well done! I hope you will continue to refine your craft and come back with more songs!
So Then I Says to Mabel, I Says — Taco Bell Parking Lot [SHADOW]
OK. Here’s what I like about this song. I think the music is very nice. I like the chimes, the percussion, the whole thing. It really does sound like a Phil Spector production. The lyric is funny and amusingly specific.
The singing is, frankly, pretty rough. It’s frustrating, because the artist in some places nails the pitch reasonably well, while in much of the rest of the song, does not. Are you able to monitor yourself on headphones while recording? I might also suggest finding an opportunity to sing with a group — a church choir for instance. When I had to play and sing with a church group every week, it forced my singing to improve.
Falcon Artist — A Beautiful Day [SHADOW]
Reminds me of: Lou Reed
I’m happy to hear from Falcon Artist again. It’s actually a big step, in one’s progress as a guitarist, to get to the point where one can really sing and play a steady accompaniment. I played guitar for many years before I even really tried it, and it took some steady work to succeed at it. So I say to Falcon Artist — keep going!
The song “A Beautiful Day” has a very non-ironic, un-sarcastic approach in its lyrics that it’s actually quite touching to hear. I’m so accustomed to nasty old people like me expressing their hopelessness and misery that it’s a breath of fresh air to hear someone who seems to simply be describing a good time.
The Dreams Corporation — Mother, Please… [SHADOW]
I’m glad that this artist chose to come back and submit another shadow.
The song notes present this as a sort of sequel to “Tesseract,” described like a scene in a work of interactive fiction, like Zork:
…the rooms themselves are mostly non-descript or indistinguishable from one-another with exception of a few, including “Blue Room” which is likely first accessed from Tesseracts (Shoreman’s Room) by entering the cupboard. the endlessly looping hallways are painted in various abstract colors and shapes, with little white left over. when first entering the area, all the lights are off, making it hard to see where you’re going.
I find this piece to be much more musical than the previous round’s submissions, which used more industrial sounds, reminding me of musique concrete. The slowed-down vocals convey some emotions, and I like the electric piano accents, and when the bass comes in later in the song, it develops a beat. This is sonically interesting studio experimentation, but I would still classify this as more of an audio collage than a song; it seems like it could serve as a soundtrack for an experimental film festival submission.
That’s not really a criticism — I like going film festivals and watching expermimental films, and I like listening to film soundtracks on my headphones while I’m working — my third-favorite is Jóhann Jóhannsson’s score for Arrival (2016).
No, the criticism is still I don’t really consider those to be songs, or this submission to be a song, and this contest is all about songs. The ten-minute runtime exceeds my patience and I stopped listening, just as I’ve occasionally walked out of an experimental film that wasn’t going anywhere. The artist is asking an awful lot from the listener, without giving much of themselves in return, although there are in this track hints of some deep childhood pain, the kind of thing that can power art when it is truly processed and worked through in a musician’s real voice.
Final Thoughts
Whew, I need to lie down for a bit. This week (and this round) have both been emotionally draining. It’s time for me to submit my rankings and reviews, such as they are, and go celebrate my birthday with my family. For some reason they want to commemmorate the fact that I am still alive. I’m not sure why, but I’ll indulge them. This was a triumph… I’m making a note here, huge success…
the reviews will run long
and you’ll make a neat song
for the judges who are still alive…
Bye for now!
As always, this content is available for your use under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial 4.0 International License. Thanks for reading!
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