Here are your Round 1 rankings from Ian Blaylock:
Read on for Ian's reviews!
Carrie Spillane - The Shape of Our Goodbye
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Pretty. Very pretty song, very expressive piano playing, expressive singing, a well composed ballad.
I swear I've heard a song with a chord progression just like this before but I can't place it. It doesn't matter. This song is two things: marvelously pretty and well executed, and hard for me to really criticize. Partially because these kind of emotive piano ballads are just far outside my wheelhouse, but moreso because I just think this is a good song about a long distance love and I can't really fault it for much of anything. Surprised that it's as high quality is given that you apparently submitted first chronologically.
The only reason this one isn't in my top 3 is personal taste and I don't feel guilty about it cause it's blatantly obvious you're going to the next round.
Cosmic Ray Corruption - Trapped in a Hypertorus
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This song is extremely short, and I don't really feel like it ends very decisively. Like 'deep down I know my choices are a lie' and then bleepity bloopity turn off the tape.
That extremely short song before it is quite nice. I like the production on it a lot, that digitally distorted bedroom synthfunkchiptune whatever the heck it is. The melody is not strong at all. It's kind of monotone and then it monotones a little bit higher. And then it goes to the chorus which is super pitchy too. So yeah, no points for a hook, except for 'trapped in a hypertorus'. But yet...somehow I end up liking it anyway?
The reason this song mostly works for me despite its short length is that it picks a concept and sticks with it. It's about being trapped in a hypertorus! You're looping infinitely in all directions! I find it fascinating how many songs there are in this competition about 4D shapes. 4D is a jolly good fellow.
The thing about a song like this is that it's hard to really say much else. It's too short say more about...soooo moving on.
The Moon Bureau - Your Geometric Dreams
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Jangley! But that's the whole point isn't it. This is your project where you bust out the chorus pedal!
I do think of your two entries this week, this is the weaker of the two. The Ohio song made me feel more and it stuck in my head a bit more. I do love me some good jingle jangley jingle so sonically this may be a bit more up my alley. I will point out a glaring compositional moment, and that's that it sounds like you needed a bridge for the 'trapezoid' bit and then the song just...forgot where it was going and awkwardly snapped back into its final chorus. "square for to get right in your corner" is a bit awkward, but is it a 'square' = 'four' pun that doesn't land quite right? There need to be more lines there before it just abruptly stops! Some of the shape puns just seem really forced...'as a triangle i'd labor' feels like the lyrics are contorted for the sake of the shape pun. And what is that trapezoid line? Huh?
Sorry, I don't mean to be negative. I love this jangle! It sounds good. Your performance is tight! Your singing is good! I just...I don't know! It feels like a mess of shapes! I'm conflicted because I wouldn't skip this at all if it was on a playlist and nothing about it offends me, it just feels undercooked. And usually I like West of Vine more...odd.
West Of Vine - A Hole Shaped Like Ohio (In My Heart)
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These lyrics tell a story. Maybe I'm a sucker for this kind of slice of life storytelling but this really works for me. And it's not just because I too have a favorable opinion of Ohio.
Except for this one time in like 2001 or 2002 or whatever when I went up to Kings Island with my youth group and got blasted by the splash ride they have. I was wearing denim jeans and vans...maybe airwalks? And we were there for maybe 5 or 6 more hours walking around and I tell you what I got chafed worse than I even have before or since. More like a hole shaped like Ohio in my thigh! Ah!
I'm not entirely certain whether or not I can meaningfully criticize much about this as a song. Just feelings, man. I didn't cry, but maybe if I was empty nesting I would. All this family stuff tends to make one sentimental. Good tune.
The Dreams Corporation - Tesseracts
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The "oh oh I found the source of the sound" break makes me feel like I'm watching Ren and Stimpy. There's...inhale singing? And heavy as hell uk dub style bass lines while you noodle on a microtonal keyboard note and periodically go back to informing me of the grid of tesseracts and giggling whompwhompwhompwhompwhomp. The most curious thing about this about this is that for the first several listens I didn't even hear the "you were not made to see this" when it's not like you buried it in the mix, you just phased it...or something.
I know and you know that you went full on weird in a way that was likely to pander to my taste. If you didn't...really? The thing is, there is exactly one detail that makes me want to dock this a couple points. Why did you add that gratuitous piano outro. I know you like extended mood pieces but jfc there are 40 entries and that added very little past the first 20 or so seconds it was going on. Editing, editing, editing. Some ideas are great, but it doesn't mean that they stay great when expressed longer. Be concise!
A grid of (grid of) TESSERACTS! Is one of the more memorable lyrics of this round and maybe it's cause I CAN get down with whatever world you've set these in. Tesseracts inherently remind me of the novel A Wrinkle In Time and I loved that book you should read it if you haven't.
AMAZING production, get rid of that piano at the end.
Jealous Brother - Hexagons
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Pexagons!!!! I love pexagons. Rocking guitar solo, one of the most rocking of the fight, though it's pretty short. I do like the idea of a hexagon as the result of people smushed together way too long. If i think about it too hard the exact analogy begins to fall apart, as technically there's no way that 5 bubbles could construct a hexagon, but you said like hexagons not that you were literally a hexagon which would be a very strange thing to claim in terms of writing a song. As I find it to be a joyous pet word, I will call your 5 bubble form a pexagon.
I feel like the second verse is noticably weaker than the first verse and chorus. You've got two excellent parts to the first first, then a catchy chorus, and...well the second verse I guess is more of a bridge because it's fundamentally different in its structure to the first verse, and just lyrically doesn't feel as strong as the rest of the lines. But when you get back to the third verse and even really that chorus I'm back to being sold on this song which I generally like quite a bit. The more I look at the bridge it could probably grow on me over time. Maybe I also just wish that it was later in the song. Oh well.
Your musicianship is terrific, it's well sung, I like this song. My criticisms are coming from feeling obligated to criticize a song and so I guess that's one critism I have.
Vom Vorton - Out of Shape
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Good progression and dynamics over the course of the song.
The lyrics are a bit abstract, like I see the fact you are out of shape...but the ways that you're out of shape are all over the place. You're lost in your clothes, which implies you're too small for your clothes, and then the first verse mostly doesn't really make me think of being out of shape. You're a square peg and she's a hexagon? You look like a computer? You could tessellate but she has salt and sunshine? Who took your ice cream cone? Why are there vultures? Are you dead? She's a dot on the horizon and she's running in slow motion?
This is the strangest way to say she hot, you not.
It's gentle number, pleasant, well performed. I don't have a lot to criticize, but not much really jumps out at me beyond the peculiar analogies of the lyrics. It's got more dynamics than a lot of songs here, it's got more interesting chords. It just doesn't wow me. That said I realized when doing my rankings, it was definitely above the median so good job.
Hot Pink Halo - Gather Between The Stars
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Aerialesque. I got lost in this instrumental, it's so dreamy. The song meets the challenge, and it's nice to be celebrating the joys of artistic creation, which I understand to be a longtime favorite topic of yours.
Asterisks/stars are good shapes. I was actually very curious what shape you'd end up picking and as much as you love you some space themes stars also fits. This feels like it checks the boxes of a quintessential HPH song. Or at least HPH in this HPH era.
I keep complimenting your work, so here's a criticism...the transition to the 'we rise above' part of the song could be a bit more thoroughly composed. It feel sike there's just that low piano note that comes in and suddenly it shifts gears. That's my only gripe, really. Good tune.
Jennifer Lynne and the Dandelion Rebellion - If I Don't Pack My Bag
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Wonderfully sung, I really like your vocals. Less a song about a shape and more a song that mentions a bunch of shapes...oval lips, rectangle suitcases. Then more abstractly, the shapes of desire and loneliness.
The lyrics are very evocative in a lot of ways, though reading them without the benefit of the explanation didn't necessesarily make it clear what you were avoiding leaving. Like you've got the shape of loneliness in your suitcase, the clothes piled by the door, not doing your laundary, and I get depression much more than desination. I don't fully understand how desire is a crumpled paper note, nor that line's connection to its neighbors. Similar to 'cradled in the crabgrass [...]', which is a great image, but I can't figure out why the note is desire, what is cradled in the crabgrass.
We've got a beautifully sung expression of ennui with a strong melody. This song would be easy to cover. I just I want more clear narrative from it and less scene setting? Such a stripped down songwriting style requires lyrics that really really grab me and these just don't...though I will give you lots of credit for composing a lot of cool visual metaphors.
Distance - Don't be a, be a
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I was searching for an adjective that described this tune and the best I could come up with that fit at all was 'doopy'. Yes, doopy. This song is exquisitely doopy.
I like the other one a bit better, but this one is pretty good too...especially that bit at the end where the time signatures keep on responding in response to the shapes you're yelling out. And naturally when you yell 'be a circle', it drops into FREE TIME because THERE ARE NO SIDES haaaaaaaa what a terrific structural idea.
Admittedly despite the song being so effectively bifurcated into two different halves, it holds together surprisingly well. The pitch shifting is positively brilliant, I feel like I'm walking through a technicolor funhouse. Also just all of the changes are so...CHANGE. CHANGE. Plus the variation in mic placement and distance are fun.
CHANGE CHANGE CHANGE CHANGE CHANGE.
For what it's worth my 12 year old heard this and decided it needed to be on his playlist so good job at being the only artist in this whole doggone competitition that grabbed his ear.
Cheslain - Bokeh the Squid
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Judge Mo and I were listening to this trying to figure out who your style was reminding us of and I couldn't figure it out, other than just 'cool and proggy'. Oh my goodness the sound production choices in this song are terrific. Instrumental performance is top notch. The echoey guitar layers that come in during the chorus "your head is a hexagon" are just divine.
What is this song about? It's certainly abstract. The blur has a shape. Now, I don't know what kind of funhouse mirrors you're looking at and/or through that would result in a blurred person look like they're chased by a squid-like creature, but maybe when you merged with the dust things got trippy and I should just roll with it. It's not hard to roll with it, it's straight up surrealistic audio candy and as someone who loves dreamy imagery and auditory psychedelicism, I give it top marks.
Best Dad In Yorkshire - Cross It Out
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Well this has a good rhythm to it, a jaunty beat, and a lot of oh, oh ohs. The production sounds good, it's well sung and well executed. I do feel like where the lyrics of the song peter out halfway through the song followed by the big oh, oh oh breakdown and then the chorus again, and then the bass by itself for a bit, this song really is thin on new creative ideas. It is a solid memorable mental image and you provide a good earworm with cross it out.
Now you do describe this as a raw version and something that you struggled to get a good idea for until late in the round, so I suppose it's 'stretched' nature makes sense in that context. Cause really I'm all with this song and then we have our chorus, which could totally be followed by another verse after just a single repetition. Instead, it repeats twice, then goes into an outro sounding post chorus of 'cross it out' repeated...I feel like half the song is outro!
Fundamentally this song doesn't feel done and like you needed another day or so in the pre-writing phase. Such is life! At least it sounds good.
David Dolan - Square in a Round World
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Musically a straightforward tune. A handful of acoustic guitar chords, some seemingly improvised acoustic layered on another track, and the lyrics delivered in a downhome conversational tone that periodically breaks away into some casual spoken word like so many great bluesmen of times past.
I like this song and I would probably feel it live, but right now I feel like it's missing something! The melody is basically the same 4 bars over and over and over with minor variations for more or less the same song, and while it's a nice melody, this is dying for a proper B section. The lyrics are fine. You don't fit in. I don't really either. That's relatable! And I really do love your singing style. Challenge met. I do observe your lyric sheet doesn't match your sung lyrics...but whatever, they match the gist of the song.
But seriously, this is dying for more melodic and rhythmic and harmonic variation or a key change or something! It sounds nice. It sounds nice. It's just...undercooked?
Falcon Artist - The Spire
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Do you paint falcons. Are you a bird that paints. Are you into falconry?
This is another very descriptive song. I've learned a lot about the spire. I looked it up, it's a very lovely spire! We have nothing of the sort in our town. The biggest spire we have is this giant cell tower on what I suppose I'll call old funeral hill. It's this old hill behind the town museum with the old cemetary on it. Not very big.
One thing that I've observed through listening to your songs is that you seem to be fond of the 'and then everyone said hooray!" trope or some variant in your lyrics. Also there isn't really much in the way of nuance or metaphor or...poetry or...feeling? Like there was an old one, what happened to it? People feel small near tall things, yes, I suppose that's true. And yes, of course people would know that they were gathered at the spire. It's there. Unless they were blind, they would miss it. I usually know when I have arrived at the big cell tower on old funeral hill. I probably sang your song about going up the hill as I walked to it! Or had the bus driver take me there! But knowing where I am is not very remarkable and does not make for compelling lyrics.
I feel like if you're going to write a song like this you've gotta make it grander than this. As an American, I really only know one song about a monument especially well, in this case a flag. But like think about how poetic it would be to decribe the spire like 'oh say, can you see by the dawns early light what so proudly was so galliantly THE SPIRE? whos tall steel and bright spire through the perilous...spire...blah blah spire...spire?' I dunno. If our national anthem was like this it would be like 'can you see it over there? it's the flag. it's on the pole they put up a few years ago. the pole is very cylindrical. the flag waves. people love the flag, you can see it from far away behind it is high up there on the pole' and that just not get me pumped about the flag. Be the hypeman the spire deserves.
Stacking Theory - the shape we're in
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Something about this makes me think of Pink Floyd. Maybe it's the general chord progression and vibe, but like I'm feeling Floydy from this which is fine cause Floydy is good.
Opening line/imagery is terrific, I like all of the shape puns. Interpreting the line about 'but there's nothing underneath' is interesting -- is it the second party that's got nothing underneath, or does that only happen cause they're mirroring YOUR emptiness?
The musical transition with 'flatlining' into the slow synth beeping and that slow epic cinematic moment was delightfully composed, along with the callback at the end with the sustained tone. This is moodyproggy in a high quality sort of way. The lyrical 'just an outline'/'flatlining' analogy is really clever...you are a very deflated shape. A grower of a song -- I liked this more on the 3rd or 4th listen.
Have you written a song with "round and round and round" in the lyrics before? I swear you have, but maybe I'm thinking of someone else.
Pigfarmer Jr - Heart-Shaped Pillow
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Well, the pillow is shaped like a heart, and it could have been any shape, but it was a heart shaped one cause you gave it to her on valentines day and now she's gone cause you fucked it up and you can't get rid of this heart shaped pillow that's on your bed after all these years. And she left cause you were drinking! Well, that stinks. I wonder if your protagonist would feel better if you got rid of the heart shaped pillow or like gave it to his dog or something.
Well sung, well performed, maybe could use a bit more dynamism or progression in the lyrics. Maybe more heart metaphors, bring in the heart shape more as a recurring motif? I dunno, this doesn't move me and musically it's solid if not especially risk-taking?
On a personal note, I have a heart shaped pillow on my pillow! It's a heart container from the Legend of Zelda. I guess metaphorically it brings me vitality or something, that's what they told me when I bought it at the shop in Kakariko Village.
Huge Shark - Spheres
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This song is by no means a copy of another song but I used to have Inside a Boy by My Brightest Diamond in heavy rotation back in the late 00s and if you haven't heard that song, you ought to check out its chorus -- identical rhythm and melody to your chorus, just in a different key. Different chords too. Fortunately that's a favorable comparison, as it was one of my favorite things we played.
Melody is peaceful and simple, this is some blissed out 90s style house music. The piano echoes and blisses around as I float around the dance floor. The breakdowns could be a little bit more involved; those quiet little synthly rhythmic wooshy things you do between verses and chorus sound really neat and I'd like to maybe see them developed a bit more?
The challenge is met. I don't know if 'bouncing through the world' was a reference to bouncy balls which are spheres but it works. 'I want a teardrop of a lens to get past your pride' is an interesting one that I can only assume means you want your second party to cry? Maybe let their emotional guard down so you can see through their atmosphere/pride?
Vocal mix is...somehow too clear and too muddy at the same time. I'd EQ out some low mids to sound more airy and crystalline in this glowy pastel soundscape and maybe add just a touch of reverb or delay to make yourself fill the 'room' more. As it stands the spheres are colliding too much in your mix. And the synth pad could probably come up a notch.
Ominous Ride - Bad Shape
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The biggest missed opportunity with this song is that you didn't put 'hex' on line 6. That would have been so cool! You describe your vocals as 'awkward deepness outside your comfortable range', and yet I thought they sounded comfortably relaxed and thought your baritone was suiting you quite well. A bit more dynamic and harmonic variation throughout the course of the song would do well to hold interest. Like maybe opening up the drums a bit more during the chorus and doing more to ratchet up the intensity and MAYBE singing a little bit more forcefully as the song builds? Or heck, maybe just the added backing vocals are it and it's a mixing issue. The tune is a bit muddy. You acknowledged that. I am not encyclopaedic about exactly which frequencies to suggest you cut, but mud is usually a proble in the low mids so I guess start with maybe high passing the guitars and maybe even the vocals.
I do love just how many shapes you threw into the lyrics here. Looks like a super fun writing exercise! Also dude you said 'you're breaking me' might come across a little harsh' and THAT WAS MY FAVORITE PART. My biggest criticism then if I have any is that this song wants to rock out really hard and there you are apologizing for the moment where you rock really hard lol. Be harsher! I'm serious! This song screams 'rockkkkkkkkk' but it could rock so much harder.
But I like the idea of this song; you could say I like the shape of this song. It somehow just needs more MOXIE. more OOMPH. (maybe just more confidence).
Paul Dermody - Making Circles on the Ground
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This song seems like one that would very easily turn into a singalong at a youth camp. Minus the word 'bastards', this would actually be great in that context. Though if it were MY youth camp, I would happily tell kids that they needed to not let bastards bring them down. Come to think of it, when I was about 10 my FAVORITE song was "the warmth" by incubus, which had 'don't let the world bring you down, not everyone here is that fucked up and cold' and I was always afraid my mom would take my CD cause it said the f-word but like that's a good message for a kid, profanity included, and so is this, so yeah, don't let those bastards bring you down!
Realistically this song doesn't have enough chord changes or sonic variation to justify a 3 minute runtime. But when I listen to each individual component, nothing really overstays its welcome, I think it's just that I wish this song had a fuller mix, possibly cause it's so simple. Like maybe at least one more instrument? I mean I'm not talking about the big band edition or anything, but I legit think this is a pretty good little tune, one of the biggest earworms of the round. The fact that it stands on its own well as a simple guy and a guitar number is a good thing. But I do want a backing band.
Ending is a little abrupt, you repeat it like once and then hit the volume slider hard. What needs to happen there is you hit the chorus one last time and then yell 'woo' or something and let your lead guitarist end with a sweet telecaster solo.
David Taro - Tessellations
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That bridge at the end of the song is some serious rock and roll with those high notes, then coming into the soft version of the chorus to round out the end of the song...excellent compositional choice there.
The melody is super similar to Tell Me Something Good by Rufus and Chaka Khan. Completely different kind of song, but I can't NOT hear it. Not a negative. I used to really really love MC Escher. Surprised a rapper never used that name. Song meets the challenge really well.
I also don't really care much for harmonica most of the time, but your application of it here is tasteful and I think it's because you mixed it properly. This song changes enough from verse to verse so as to not ever really get stale or boring. Yeah the 'want to go now' is probably the most exciting musical moment in the entire round, WONDERFUL use of dynamics. This would be a good sing along and I can imagine you stopping playing and pointing the mic at the audience like "SING IT FOR ME" and clapping dramatically on the 2 and 4 to hype everyone up.
Not really much to criticize, this is a well done tune.
Ross Durand - What the Hell?
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Surprised this is the only song about the Pentagon.
It is definitely ironic that Hegseth saying we can't have fat generals while Trump is fat. Maybe he should lay off the cheeseburgers. Hmm. I did look up recent generals and found that Kevin Admiral was on the list.
Your singing is terrific and filled with grit. I wish this song had lyrics that were higher effort than listing geometric statistics of the pentagon. Have we ever really know what was going on at the Pentagon? It's been years and I'm still not entirely sure what's going on at the Pentagon. This song is catchy, but it doesn't seem very high effort.
I dunno. I can't fault you for not pandering to my dislike of blunt political sloganeering in song lyrics. That's on me, not you. But I don't like this at all.
Berkeley Social Scene - The Einstein Hat (Aperiodic Monotile)
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It's amazing how many songs about various tesselations we've had in this round. I'm not complaining, it's just popular! What yours does that is super cool is it focuses on a specific tesselation, and a mathematically cool one at that! The solo at the end strikes an excellent mood. This one doesn't really stick in my head that much otherwise.
It's a very neat shape, I looked it up. I could totally get into a song that like...somehow translates all sorts of mathematical details about an aperiodic monotile into song. But this doesn't do it. I'd say it was waxing poetic about the aperiodic monotile but it's not really doing that either. It's like the title was great and the lyrics are just kind of there cause a song about an aperiodic monotile had to have lyrics. As it stands they just don't grab me.
But yeah I really dig your guitar solo and as a full band performance this instrumental is pretty slick.
traumadolls- Flattened
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I'm a fan of the fun time signature changes that keep making an appearance throughout the song. I also like the jerky funky bassline and phasered out guitar that creeps its way through the song. I do wish there was more of a moment in this song where it truly like built up to climax or a crescendo and hit like a big euphoric rush of a chorus. It's the kind of song that could REALLY kick up a notch with that kind of danceable rhythm that its got. That being said, it's a song about laying flat, so maybe it doesn't want to draw more attention to itself but I really just want that one extra element to come in that really lifts it to a higher level. Could be as easy as adding an extra synth line or beefing up the guitar part in the chorus or just singing louder for the chorus!
But I do like the groove here, it's very groovy, this song lives by the bass groove and dies by the bass groove. I just want it to groove MORE and HARDER. Like before 'let by shoulders...' that little break would be cooller if the drums were going really wild there and it was an energetic dance break or something. I know that's not what you did and maybe it's not what you wanted to do but I have to write critical things.
chewmeupspitmeup - be a circle in a world of squares
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These lyrics are terrific. Fundamentally it's a peptalk to walk your own walk, as we should, unless you're playing football in which case your teammates would be quite mad at you. But largely it's a celebration of puns reminding you and everyone else that geometry is fun.
I'm a fan of the cool descending noise that comes in when you sing "I" really high. Kind of feel like the melody doesn't quite know where to go from there though. Really this song seems like it alternates between two modes: verses and more abstract bleepy bloopy bits. The verses and the abstract bleepy bloopy bits are cool but don't feel super connected? It's an earworm of a melody -- I've mentioned points for songs I remember the hook of when they're over and this gets a big fat check. I just don't find the composition itself terribly compelling? Perhaps it's just sonic genre bias? I don't know. Not super feeling this one but I think it's because it feels a little aimless.
Star Bear - Tessellations
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That lead guitar line and 6 measure repetition structure is pretty neat. I do wish the melody did a little bit more than those three notes for most the song. It's a bit of a relief dynamically by the time the first chorus rolls around like 'yeahhhhhhh' ahhh a nice quiet part. And then we're back to the 'you are a star hiding in the pattern', then that descending guitar riff again just in time for the chorus. When this song drops into that soft, dreamy chorus I'm really digging it. I also wonder if you couldn't open your throat and add just a bit of fry to your vocal performance? Like I hear the way that "Tessellation" "Desperation" and all that at the end goes and it's in the same general register as your vocal performance is is most of the rest of the song and like if you added just the slightest relaxed grungy affectation to your vocal approach to this one I feel it would work better?
In terms of relating to the them, you're musing on tesselations and there's a lot of cool imagery here tying together cosmic scenes and geometric explorations on personal relationships. You're tiling along the plane, and...I'm not going to lie I don't understand this at all. Who are the kids with different names that are the same? Is this a riddle? I can't really peace together what you're talkingabout but some of the lyrics sound cool I reckon.
miscellaneous owl - Alfred Hitchcock Silhouette
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I think this specific shape is iconic and distinctive, though I suppose it is more a category of shapes...unless he really just does that in a single movie. I don't think that's right, is it? Dunno, not super familiar with Hitchcock films. The lyricism has some very cool imagery in it. I like the surrealism in the first verse especially. Crunchy guitar chonk harmonics in the breaks get style points from me.
Now for the judgy bit: I think this could have handled the prompt a little bit better. The tune is indeed about a silhouette, but it's a specific silhouette that appears at the start of the work (presumably) and then is mentioned in the first first and...nothing else? Perhaps this being a strong 'shape song' would be more apparent if I were more familiar with the Enigma of Amigara Fault (I'm not at all). But as it stands it's tenuous and could use a bit more variation in the vocal melody to really sell me from start to finish. Such a great shape, but with a title like that I want it to sound more...suspenseful I guess?
Performance and production are solid, so I don't really have much in the way of production notes on this one.
Boffo Yux Dudes - Icosahedron
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One of the more straightforward shape songs of the fight and one where the lyrics prominently, obviously, and creatively illuminate the theme. Wonderful! I actually had "D20" as a very specific category that I was hoping someone would use in a song. Not because I play D+D myself, but I've had so many friends that do over the years and it seemed like good songwriting fodder.
I've never really been sure if it's "EYE-co-sa" or "eye-CO-sa" hedron. Never really thought about it until I started typing out notes regarding your song. The "roll roll roll roll roll" part is an inspired change, though I would have liked it to lead somewhere beyond the song just kind of ending after repeating the title a couple of times. The "ready to role" regarding "roleplaying" is an inspired pun. I don't know what fumbling a check is, but I assume it is a D+D reference?
Admittedly the idea of pining over a dungeon master in a who doesn't share your romantic interest is a good start. The chorus is very catchy and there's a lot to love here. But...I don't know, there's a lot of opportunities for some REALLY amazing puns and wordplay but not much here that really wows me beyond being really happy you wrote a song about D20s.
Stefan Szabo - Circles
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The worst thing I can say about this song is that I wish the range of the vocal melody was a bit wider. Well, that and that it is kind of repetitive. I feel like the verses and the chorus kind of have the same melody and the same rhythm and it's just those same 4 chords over and over for most of the song. The thing though is that it sounds really really nice. I guess I just want more...parts? A mysterious key change? A new melody? But man those layers all sound great. What great layers you have.
I initially identified your ambient electric guitar track as a synth pad, specifically one of the high end synth presents in Omnisphere (which I haven't used in forever). It sounds really good! Actually better. Amazing how versatile guitar tones are when you start branching into effects for timbral purposes.
The lyrics are cool. They're not really resonating with me much but that's probably a me problem. This sounds so lush, wow so lush. Not really a lot more that I can meaningfully criticize here without repeating myself! I guess I'l repeat myself some more anyway have I said that this song is LUSH? Man it is so lush.
Betty and the Rubble - Tesseract
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Relatively simple pop-rock ditty about self discovery and how being bisexual makes you a tesseract. The lyrics are kind of...well, I don't know. Disjointed? You grew up feeling strange, you color outside the lines, but the only way that you state that you color outside the lines is that you're attracted to women. I guess where this song falls flat for me is that I just...don't think it's that weird. Certainly not unusual enough to be something so reality bending as a limitless, all-seeing four dimensional being? Maybe if you'd picked a less mind-boggling shape it would work for me better as a metaphor.
Anyway, we go from 'figuring out who you are' to 'flirting with a cute girl with dimples' to 'transcendence'. There doesn't seem to be a strong narrative here..and ending your third verse with 'spare me...' while your chorus says 'loving him doesn't diminish it' it sends mixed messages. Like you still love this guy but you're getting sick of men in general?
Mixing notes is that your vocals are too loud and your drums are kind of buried. Some compression on the guitars or doubling to thicken them up would give this a lot more power! As it stands it doesn't really have that much in the way of dynamics? There isn't a lot of sonic variation throughout.
So Then I Says to Mabel, I Says - Fallen Arches
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This song is an orthopaedic nightmare! "Cyclopean masonry" is a cool phrase, I had to look up what that was. This is another tune that might benefit from being slightly faster. Not a bad song, but it's kind of sleepy and where it doesn't really take that many risks compositionally I think I just want more energy. Maybe had I written this on a different day I would think this speed was fine. The final guitar solo starts and then goes up and then...hey look the songs over!
I dunno. I like the idea of writing a song about arches, especially the observation of destruction following the same shape as an arch. I will say, there are a lot of dams that aren't really shaped like parabolic arches. There's a lot of shapes that hydropower projects can take! Embankment dams and gravity dams come to mind! My great uncle Hays Berry fell off of Tygart Dam near Grafton West Virginia back during the 1930s. He got knocked backward by a crane. That is not a dam that utilizes arches in its geometry. Nor is the one that supplies my drinking water...where was I going with this?
Right. This song is fine. I don't really remember how it went when it was over, which isn't a good sign. I remember hearing the title. I guess this doesn't have much in the way of a hook. I need more excitement! But the 'downnnnnnn' would work better and be more exciting if the song was faster. Like we're talking about moving the earth, we're talking about war, all this epic human activity for good and evil and it's got the energy level of a refreshing glass of lemonade on the porch.
Also In Blue - Vicious Circle
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Vocals and harmonies and chord progression and song structure are absolutely exquisite on this. I know you said you didn't care for the mix on the drums on this one but really the worst thing that I can say about is that the hi hat is just a smidge high in the mix. Other than that it sounds totally fine and is still cleaner and slicker sounding than most of the other artists that are here.
You know how to write a song, you know how song to keep each individual section going before they get old, you understand how to make interesting chord progressions, you understand how to write a hooky melody. This, again, ends up being one of the most catchy choruses in the entire contest. I'm not entirely sure what the 'duo duo' bit means but I don't care I like it; if you played this at a big outdoor festival down by the river, you could easily get an audience singalong going with that. The best part of this song is that you went for a 1960s folk revival sound without blasting a blaring harmonic in my ear, thank you.
This isn't my favorite song of the round -- chalk that up to genre bias and just fundamentally preferring my banjos and mandolins to be going to fast as to attract the highway patrol -- but it's indisputably one of the best songs of the round so high marks here.
Flintsteel - Demon, Awake
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Wee, occult power metal. This is some good sci-fi, high fantasy music. Every time I try and type the word fantasy I have to hit backspace because it comes out fantasty and I guess this is fantasty. Yum?
Constant rollicking rhythm, check, powerful twin guitars check, layered epic gang vocals check. One thing that would make your power metal even more epic would be if you dad more vocal harmonizing. I hear a lot of vocal takes on top of each other but you've got some high ones and low ones but they're all basically in unisons or octaves. Maybe try making yourr layered vocal harmonies more spicy, you could really do some cool choral arrangements and that would make this zesty.
All of your songs sound like epic adventures. Man I don't know what other adjective to apply to songs like this other than epic. It feels like a cliche and maybe it is, but epic is as epic does and you live for the epic. I bet you have a massive library full of fantasy novels in your studio. Do you?
Another tune I have difficulty meaningfully criticizing beyond an acknowledgment that it is well above the mean, competently executed, and meets the challenge quite well.
Siebass - Always around
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I hate being hard on this song because it's so hard to be hard on but I have to rank songs and post critical content. And really after listening to this one like 4 or 5 times trying to crack it I think I think I determined that it just really needs to be faster. It's so slow that it kind of makes it hard to focus on the words, but that could also be the slightly muddy mixing on the vocals. The vocal harmonies that come in after the chorus are really nice and add some good dynamics to the composition. Also I'm a sucker for a good hammer on/pull off run.
It also needs a lot more melodic varation. So much of this one spends its compositional time seemingly hanging out on long sustained notes within a narrow harmonic range. It's kind of pretty but mostly it just doesn't grab me much. Gimme more melodic contour, get off of the monotone! Like you get 'stay in PLACEEE!' and it's by far the most exciting part of the composition. Really the chorus in isolation is melodic enough, I think it's just the monotony of the verses that needs some livening up cause it develops nicely as it goes on. I guess it's just so so sleepy to the point where it just...heck it's just really sleepy.
I do like the lyrics though. Not much of a metaphor here, just a circle circling its circly self. Not very often to circles speak of their own existence and dreams and feelings.
I do not believe there is any precedent for or against the practice of instructing other contestants to cover this song in round 5, but I would really like to hear The Dreams Corporation take this one on in full alien wizard magic mode.
Nathan Joe Long - A Thousand Paper Cranes
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I'm going to start out my review on this one by sharing a personal anecdote, which is that when I was a kid -- probably about second grade or so -- I learned how to fold paper cranes and spent a LOT of that year making them over and over and over and over and over. I probably made well over a thousand. I'd like cut paper into little squares and see how tiny I could make them. I still habitually fold them basically anytime I'm idle. Many a staff meeting at work has concluded with a paper crane made out of the meeting itinerary. On many occasions I have left napkin cranes for waitstaff. Junk mail? Crane. Based on your description, I see your daughter an I have that in common!
All of that is to say that yes, an origami crane is indeed a shape and one that is always satisfying to make. Some of these lyrics are pretty insired. I love "planting seeds in furrows dug deep beneath my brow". If I'd written that I'd have given myself a high-five for penning it, great lyric. The structure is a bit...unclear. You've got your A section with that repeated melody, and then a sort of half bridge section that comes and goes. The "you gave me all I ever read" line feels like I'd be the start of a chorus, but isn't, there isn't really a chorus, it's just super free form and keeps returning to that simple up and down C#->A#m->C#->A#m melody. I don't fully understand the structure or narrative. Not entirely sure doubling the guitar track was the right call either, but it doesn't sound bad, just unnecessary. I feel like doubled guitar tracks work better if they're in super tight unison. Maybe you didn't want that. Idk.
I feel like this could be a bit shorter. Like some of the C# c# c# c# d# e# e#, c# c# c# c# a# g# g# bits of the song just loop on that melody too long. (Did you capo on the first fret?)
I dunno, I feel like I've been harsh. This doesn't deserve harsh criticism it's too pleasant. I just feel like it could be worked up a bit more and edited to have more of a clear structure...or at least having the chorus come around sooner. The octave lift signals to me that it's the chorus, but the energy boost doesn't last that song so the whole song ends up feeling a bit dynamically flat.
But bah, it's really quite pleasant, I feel like I should like this more. It needs a cello in the background. Totally a 'hire a cellist' type of song. It sounds so nice, just needs to cook longer.
Ironbark- Hourglass
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Someday I wanna hear you try and write some death metal.
The tiny detail of switching to the minor key RIGHT when you mentioned that her husband came back in a different shape that the song switched to a minor tonality. Chef's kiss. I also like how this doesn't really so much has a chorus as it has a 'chorus section' that recurs. And it's a good story that ties together hourglass at the start and hourglass at the end. Now, I will say that the connection to her figure is kind of tenuous. I expect the song to be more about her shape, or at least to mention it again. Like she was never going to grow up to be one of those hourglass girls cause she was willful and wild and read the wrong books, but what do those have to do with them forecasting no figure for this poor girl?
I'll admit, I initially interpreted the line about the war as 'coffin shaped' not PTSD shaped as was made apparent in the 'on a cool summer's night' line. Yay he's still alive and things got better for them both. Shew I thought he was dead. Good sentiment at the end, I just don't buy the 'shape' line I guess.
Sunflower Bastard - Stadium
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Love the synth bass in this tune. Wyeowyeowyeow. The switch up in the second half is terrific and really livens it up! And these lyrics are completely ridiculous. I don't entirely understand what is going on here, cause this doesn't make the slightest bit of sense. What in the world is going on here? Stadium? What? Sausage body? Pill shape? Sausages aren't pill shaped, unless your pills are shaped like sausages.
I don't understand what is happening here! I know it's catchy, I know the that last bit about the disco rectangle made me giggle, I love how much this track changes throughout its runtime, I guess it meets the challenge though honestly I'm assuming the shape is a...stadium? Well, yeah I guess it's a shape, I could mathematically describe a stadium.
I don't know what else to say really, this song is silly fun of an exquisite variety. Partyyyy.
Sober - Boxes
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I love how this ends so many chord progressions somewhat unexpectedly and triumphantly on the II chord. Maybe it's just the way you emphasize it, it sounds really majestic. The pedal steel sounds terrific. Your voice sounds terrific. And the transition in and out of the third verse is definitely terrific as way. "Mortise" is not a word that sounds especially poetic I don't think but you make it work.
These lyrics are very evocative and have some good story telling. The titebond as a trust building metaphor I found to be particularly inspired. This is another tune I find it hard to criticize cause it's really good. It also makes me want to get out my toolbox and start doing some woodworking myself. I'd wager you're better at it than I am though.
The Pannacotta Army - Rough Diamond
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Solid, strong composition. Well composed, well paced, well performed. I learned with my first attempt to review this particular song that your performance is so smooth that one cannot be sleepy when one sits down to attempt to review it. The end result is getting carried away on the smooth...smoothness. You're always so smooth and clean sounding in your projects, it's impressive.
The background guitars in the chorus are just delightful, especially the way they weave in and out of the vocal melody. That was one minor detail that, upon listening to it in the morning showed the mark of a craftsman!
I am curious about this woman who you are describing though? I'm guessing losing your money on horses and playing cards is indicative of a gambling problem, unless I take you at your word and assume that this mystery woman collects expensive horses and collector's edition playing cards. I guess all horses are expensive. Are they? I've spent a lot of time in Kentucky, I feel like I should know that.
So this chick is moody tattooed gambler who flies off the handle all the time and worst of all -- because it's your chorus -- she can't sing! Oh no!
She must be super hot. Nothing else can explain your continued attachment.
glennny - The Octagon
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High energy and dynamic. A bit muddy in the mix but that may be the mix. Am I hearing a bit of slapback delay on your vocal in the verse? Basically the guitars and drums and everything else are super clear and crisp and your vocal sounds kind of washed out in the mix, it's hard to really explain.
Anyway, I can absolutely relate with this song. Many moons ago I had a regular gaming group and we'd get together and regularly game. The table wasn't octagonal, but the gist is there...and yeah you're right, now suddenly it' about 18 years later and that gaming group is scattered across several different states and I couldn't start to tell you when the last time I talked to most of them was (except for Chuck, I talked to him last week).
The reverse guitar solo is super cool, though it would be nice if it ended in a more measured manner, as it stands it just abruptly slams into the next verse.
Seriously I have so many board games that just sit in my house waiting for someone to come and love on them.
Boo Lee Crosser - i haven't been thinking of you
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IV-iii-I is a common and nice sounding chord progression but I always want to yell WHERRREEESS YOURRR HEADD ATTTT whenever I hear it in any song ever regardless of sonic or emotional context.
Now that that is out of the way, this is a heartfelt tribute to our well loved community member...and also something that I nominate for retroactive inclusion on the Ode to Joy album. The way the chorus ends on that downcast 'don't know what to say' before it jumps into that atmospheric guitar bit was really exquisitely composed.
Goodness man, this is such a profound song and it truly expresses your grief and it's well sung and written and I like it but there's just one little problem that I can't can't can't CAN NOT overlook...
How in the world does this meet the challenge? I see...objects? Dice, cigarettes, playing cards with their suits mentioned casually which I guess happen to be shapes, constellations where are casually mentioned and I guess they're geometric, but I have to hunt for things that I could consider 'shapes' and like...I don't think this meets the challenge. And I really want to extend that to you because this is good and I feel like an ass for docking you so hard for it but I fail to see how this is a shape song at all. If this was on the 'Ode to Joy' album I'd call it a standout.
the profane bells - Circle Back to the Start
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Guitar and production sound great, I love the tremolo effects weaving in and out of the mix on this. The chord progression keeps on surprising me while never hitting chords that are particularly obvious choices, which is giving you a lot of points creatively even though rhythmically it doesn't. I just enjoy the sound of this song, it's got a really great vibe.
I will give you a fairly sharp criticism for the whole "I know it's hard to hear" part of the song. It doesn't sound complete, and you build all this atmosphere and then that part comes in and like saps your momentum. Maybe if you just kept the atmospheric elements continuing and then INTENSIFYING into the "I know it's hard" part, that it would work better for me compositionally. I hear there's some soft rhythm guitar there. Right now it's like 'here's a bridge. uh...drum fill, chorus again?'
Good bah bah bahs in the chorus, good soft vocal harmoninies.
Christine Fanning - Square
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Interesting chords, the song never really sounds fully rooted cause this is pretty well outside of standard major/minor tonality. So unresolved! This comes across very haunted.
I do wish this had more than two chords, and...ended in a way that wasn't just 'stop the tape'. I mean it's pretty, and it's drifting and I just want it to blossom into a big release of tension and maybe do something else and then right when it's about to do that it just doesn't. Maybe it's not supposed to. Perhaps it's a mystery. Perhaps this is basically just drifting along, drifting drifting drifting.
Back in 200-whatever I stopped by the free store at this small liberal arts college in western NC and got a tape that had a mysterious name written in a henna looking script. I didn't know what was going to sound like but when I popped it into the tape deck there were a few songs that sounded a lot like this. So congratuations on sounding like the free-folk tape that I'd sometimes jam in my old Subaru.
These lyrics are kind of opaque. They sound cool. Abstract. "liberty brings freedom wings..." has surrealist syntax. I can't help but parse it as 'liberty [noun] brings freedom wings [noun...a patriotic chicken dish?] to another town and city'. Obviously that's silly and I should just take it evocatively.
N/A - Round in
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This sounds so cool. These are some seriously cool lyrics. The ending of this song is immensely wack what on earth, you're just gonna cut the reverb tails on something that was among the coolest sounding 1:32 stretches in this whole round of judging? Oh my goodness it's like you just chose to not finish the song cause you ran out of time making the first minute and a half sound amazing.
Dorian mode is one of my favorites and dreamy co-ed vocal harmonicies are also one of my favorites. And that production is just so delicious, and soft and tickles my ears just the right way and dammit it ended again.
I'm ranking this high because I think it sounds so so so cool. So so so cool. But like...dude, where's the rest of the song? This is no conclusion and I MUST dock you for it.
Brother Baker - The Rhombus
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So many geometric puns. So so so many geometric puns. And this definitely has the energy that I crave, along with a strong chorus. I would say that the vocals are a bit too forward in the mix. I'd maybe add just a _dash_ of reverb and maybe compress them a bit so you get that volume you're looking for. Right now the volume isn't really that leveled out on the volume mix and there's a few words that melodically are fine just sit awkwardly in the mix like point/joint.
Hmm, now I'm puzzling over the phonetics of those two words and trying to decide if it's the mixing or the inflection that I would tweak. The inflection could go either way -- either making it more legato like the other words or going for word painting like a really quick and clipped 'point'. Regardless, that's a performance quibble and one that would be solved organically by performing this live 123098120938 times.
Realistically my main gripes with this is that it all sounds kind of muddy. The guitars are kind of boxed in and the drums are super dry. Instead of producing more space, it seems like the mix attempts to put every element forward. Some reverb or...I don't know what, but this mix needs more space and maybe some EQing or some kind of amp sim on the guitars or something? And more drum fills! more exciting drum fills! those bring the rawk! like when the cymbal crashing in the chorus starts? Gimme a big drum fill leading into that, badum badamp bap babap boom, tis, budubudu bapudumBAP!
Sorry about Kerouacing, I got carried away. Yeah, this song is cool, polish it up.
--[shadows]--
Micah Sommersmith - Red Octagons
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Ah, a relatable song for all of those times when life is just telling you to slow down. Perhaps it's a potential love interest who just throws off one too many red flags. Or other things getting in your way. Lyrically I'm glad that someone wrote a song about red octagons. In terms of constructive criticism, most of what I have to offer is that I'd like more verses of concrete examples of red octagons. Like the first and third verses are kinda vague you know? And then you've got this second verse where the cutie is like 'hey' and you're like 'yeah idk' and it's a good episode. I wish the other two verses were more character or episodic. On that note, the break after the 2nd chorus is a missed opportunity for a sick accordion solo.
The melody lingers in my head after the song is over. Well, the chorus melody at least. It's delightfully jangly and well produced and meets the challenge well.
The Dreams Corporation - Tesseracts (Shoreman's Room)
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Dude I can't review this meaningfully. I am blissing out in my headphones. Is this what the kids call slushwave? I don't know. Maybe it's just regular old ambient. But what we have here is ghostly, channel switching ambient music. There's an impressive amount of layering in this given the time constraints. Keenly aware that this is basically just a remix of the other Dreams Corporation entry that you submitted...I guess in a loose sense. This turns my head into a tesseract. I honestly thought you'd write about fractals.
Fortunately this one is not competing. The primary iteration of this song, while abstract, gives me at least some general sense of lyrical association with the elusive fourth dimension. This version does remind me fairly often about the grid of tesseracts but beyond that this is an exercise in worldbuilding I think sort of? It pains me that _this one_ is just too far out lyrically for me to be able to think it meets the challenge well.
Wait who gives a damn it's a shadow entry and I know it and you know it so why do I care and why am I criticizing this.
This is so spacy it could collide with a starlink satellite.
If it wasn't apparent I really liked this. The channel switching part reminded me of something this puredata mountain guru showed me a lot of in his tunes.
Turtle Fence - Traffic Cones
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You have the deepest voice in Spintunes 26. Some of these lyrics work for me, some of them do not. "Flashing lights and barriers the damages concealing" very much seems like the sort of lyric that is written entirely to make the rhyme work rather than to stand on its own. Alse 'waving yellow flags' seems kind of rushed in its delivery?
It is nice when the bridge comes around cause we finally get some melodic variation. I feel like this needs to switch it up more. And you need to rehearse your lyrics a bit more. So many introductions that seem like you didn't quite plan where all of the syllables were going to go. Make sure your phrasing flows a bit more naturally! Just singing through it a few more times will help that get more comfortable. Think about "what SEEMS like...paraLYzing risk"...why not do that as straight 8th notes? "PAraLYzing" has emphasis on the 1st and 3rd syllable equally, the scansion is off if you randomly emphasizing paralyzing. Stuff like that.
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