Here are your Round 1 rankings from Mo:
Read on for Mo's reviews!
Hi, folks!
If my ‘humor’ in your reviews comes off abrasive in any way, my apologies.
I’m a very silly person.
Dynamics, y’all.
Change it up.
Earn your solos.
Any comparisons made to other artists are from my ears. If you don’t agree, that’s cool.
I mean for all comparisons to be compliments. Sometimes comparisons are my easiest way to convey a thought. If I say you sound like Cyndi Lauper and you were hoping for Ozzy Osbourne, I’m dearly and deeply sorry. I mean no harm. I tend to only compliment using artists I dig myself. Also, I stopped obsessively listening to new music around 2013 (i.e., preggo with first kiddo), so my comparisons are… ‘out-of-date,’ according to some.
Since all reviews are public, I recommend reading… all reviews. Sometimes I info-dump on some songs and not-so-much on others. My reviews are mostly free-association. The length of your review isn’t necessarily a determinate of whether I think your song is “good” vs. “bad.”
Often, I’ve gotten the best ideas for my own art by reading someone else’s review. Just some kibble to nibble. Also, having been on both sides of the contestant vs. judge coin, there’s a joy in claiming how wrong a judge is… so there ya go. Enjoy battering my thoughts and choices. Talk amongst yourselves. Bond. ;)
The last thing I do after several listens is actually read your lyrics. (So make sure they’re accurate!)
I never read lyrics first as it gives me sensory/perception bias. I always hear a ‘song’ first. That’s just how I judge.
Sometimes I ramble.
I listened to each song at least seven times.
Can’t get ya outta my head.
Ya’ll love ya some tesseracts.
And circles.
I hope at least one word I say to you helps your progression.
In harmony,
Mo :)
Carrie Spillane - The Shape of Our Goodbye
First thoughts: Yay, a piano! I’m in a rom-com. Approaching the “All Is Lost” moment. Or is this Breaking into 3rd Act? I’m inspired… I may need a tissue.
OMG those stringgggggs. Sucker for strings.
~1:34—Bring out that backing vocal a taaaaaad more. It’d make it sound a taaaaad fuller.
Don’t be afraid to challenge yourself to explore a new dynamic here. This isn’t “flat” by any real means, but there are a few places where I thought there could’ve been a few lyrics said with more inflection… ‘punch’.
Voice is good for this style.
I can hear vocalist doing blues very well… jazz piano.
Mix sounded good to me. (I’ll note mastering/production is not my area of expertise, but a couple of the other judges are gifted with this.)
2:04 —OOOOOO prettty!! This nicety comes in again.
This sounds like church without being in church. Pretty.
2:34—beautiful but starts to overpower your voice for a sec… perhaps a mastering pass. Sounds nice, regardless. Could just be my sensitive ears/headphones.
Maybe space out that last “again”… it’d hit better. Toy with different ways of ending it here. This needs to gut me harder, I feel like.
I was afraid this would lean too “musical theatre” sounding for my taste… but it stayed “lady spieling at the piano” for me. Some listens it teetered “too dramatic” depending on my mood. Lyrics are creative. Deeper than others.
I wish that one synth/efffect you used was an actual choir… or even a cello. At first listen it sounded okay, but after repeated listens… it sounds… I don’t know… it takes away from your lovely voice. Or maybe it just needs to be lowered in volume. Unsure. If you had an actual quartet for this, WOW. It would be amazing live.
Top 10, I think.
Aside—You and Jennifer Lynne (and the Dandelion Rebellion)’s voices would sound so gorgeous together. I just played your songs back-to-back… I thought, “dang, what a duo.”
At first I was afraid you didn’t meet the challenge, but I see how well you’ve incorporated it after repeated listens… and after reading your lyrics. Your lyrics are some of my fave in the round.
Cosmic Ray Corruption - Trapped in a Hypertorus
First Thoughts: Sounds like Tricky? Wait no. Sounds like musical hopscotching. This could be in one of those old Apple commercials with all the silhouettes(?) dancing in front of hues, except with some liquid dancing. I don’t know.
Your vocals could sound a little clearer is some areas. Just a couple places.
Overall great.
Careful with forced-sounding rhyme.
1:02—I was hoping for something with a little more energy.
1:12—this is neat; nice video game-like sound… makes me think of Pac-Man/torus. Need louder vocal.
Cool panning at the end, but left me wanting more after it. This could teeter either way, depending on perspective. Buuuuut this is a solid Round One entry, arguably solid length. It does take skill to know when your song has said enough… I’d say yours has a little more to say. If you expand/edit this song, check out what I’ve said in the “Lyrics” section. You got decent bones here.
Lyrics: Almost graduated with a philosophy degree (3 classes shy), so Cartesian had me interested right away. Clever. You should explore some Cartesian mind-body dualism into your lyrics… with your production, it’d be a good blend. ;)
I’ll note… if I were a contestant… I would’ve done “torus.”
(Other judges can vouch for me here, I claimed this in a recent email. haha)
Back to report… I still like that hopscotchin’ sound. Jump rope. I don’t know. It made me wiggle.
The Moon Bureau - Your Geometric Dreams
First Thoughts: College radio memories. Where are you from? I like your accent. Why’s the Constantinople song in my head… is it a similar rhythm? This sounds like it’d be on the 50 First Dates or Clueless soundtrack.
Vocal: need more dynamics, backing track needs a turn-up.
Glockenspiel!? Xylophone? Cute.
Mix needs some passes.
I’d say EQ may be my biggest gripe here. The auditory layers of this song don’t seem balanced enough. Plays it too safe lyrically/dynamically.
Rhymes seem a li’l too cute at times. Lyrics seem a little too… Sheryl Crow. I need a church choir if you gonna sunshine.
This is another one that sounds like The Cure a li’l.
Be more confident in your vocal. Bring it out more. It sounds mumbly.
1:25—I think that’s so cute.
Groovy outro.
This song does make me wanna get the courage to be that Charlie Brown that writes the Little Red-Haired Girl that letter and tell that girl she’s the geometry of my dreams.
Maybe I’ll write my husband a poem later.
Back to say—I didn’t write hubby a poem. But I’m still thinking about it.
West Of Vine - A Hole Shaped Like Ohio (In My Heart)
First Thoughts: My husband and I were just talking about OHIO. A riddle involving Ohio (the one about the bunny). Oh… am I at Railbird in Lexington? I’m from Kentucky, my Commonwealth borders your sized-hole. Sorry, that sounds awkward. Again, free-associating here. This is in a rom-com right before he gets the girl.
Nice voice. Be more dynamic with it. Make me wanna marry you if I was single haha.
I feel there’s some sort of tempo mismatch here. I don’t know. I feel like the vox and the strum don’t mesh like I want them. Like I think I want the guitar to be slower? It makes your lyrics come off a tad muddy to me.
I think a band would help. Yeah… you need fullness. This would probably rank up more notches if you had a fuller sound.
Nice guitar’n. Around 1:33 I got a little tired of the rhythm. Maybe change up the time signature or some other switch-a-roo earlier. There’s a nice slowdown after this marker, but it takes a long time to get there.
2:04—around this part work so well… yeah, that slow is what you need… I think the strummed tempo is just a little to fast for me.
Givin’ me Bob Dylan vibes. You squawk much less than Dylan, thank you.
My biggest gripe with this entry is it sounds a little monotone in some areas. I was starting to watch the clock for a hopeful transition sometime before 1:30.
Lyrics: You combined two sides of the brain for this. A literal shape with a geographic/metaphorical one. Kudos. I feel like you could’ve done some subtle wordplay with some towns/cities in Ohio… CLE[A]VE a LAND in my heart… slice it open… got an AKRONin’ for Kmart … okay, no that’s a really stupid idea. I think I need a nap.
Clever use of an actual geometric shape mixed with a splash of something literary… and geographic!
The Dreams Corporation - Tesseracts
First Thoughts: Is he yawning? A monkey? What? Watch your mic Ps… is this a South Park episode? Where am I? I like quirky, but this is hitting “sounds too much like The Residents.”
Oooo, wait… this is neat…
HOLY HELL THIS SONG NEEDS TO START AT 0:44!!!!!!!
START THIS SONG AT 0:44!!!!!
THIS IS SOME SEVDALIZA SHIIIIIIIIZZZZZZ. (Check out “Human”)
I WISH I COULD LIQUID DANCE. Maybe I’ll do The Robot.
DUDE. This is cool. YES.
Am I in an old rap video?
1:30—Okay, this is sounding Addams Family again. I’m still with you, though.
This has so much potential, but the dive into the deep-end avant-garde is losing me a li’l.
2:55—HECK YEAH. MORE OF DEEZ.
Idea: the way you sing this sounds borderline-“silly musical theatre” to me. If you presented this vocally with more serious[-sounding] delivery… maybe even stoic spoken word(?)… I really think you’d have something that’d get some music circles to stop and scope you out. I do like some silly, but it’s gotta be executed with mastery. These effects you’re juxtaposing here sound really awesome to my ears. I love old hip-hop, trip-hop, and industrial-type genres, so this really tickles.
If you wanna get into later rounds, you gotta tone down the quirk. Use your quirk where it is EARNED. Make it an asset, not a requirement. Even if you are known for being a certain [musical] temperament… step outside your own box’s box, you’ll be surprised how good you end up seriously sounding. I believe in you.
I think you have the most entries, and the longest song. haha (I pay attention.)
Around the 5-minutes mark I thought you were busting out “Christmas Time is Here” (Guaraldi)
Try to cut your songs by at least a minute, maybe even two… you can get the same effect, and spend the remaining time and energy working on a NEW song. ;) You could’ve easily cut 2-3 minutes here. I mean I was entertained. This was like 3 songs, a movement haha.
You were *almost* “TOP 5” for me!
I liked your shadow, too. :)
You definitely go where most folks don’t go, and I actually love this. I feel true originality
Just don’t go too outta orbit, we all get lost sometimes. :-P
Man, that drop was cool at :53.
(And 2:55.)
Jealous Brother - Hexagons
First Thoughts: I’m in early-college drinkin’ a Bullfrog I just whipped up in a 2 liter… about to play beer pong. Or… I’m in my bro’s car listening to the Eagles. This reminds me of “Take it Easy”…
Five people… but a hexagon? Oh… wait… the truth is the sixth side? I see what you’re doing here, but it isn’t landing for me. The way it reads we’re not equalizing fame, glory, and truth. Or do you think truth earns more. Fame and glory can contain truth… sometimes that’s how truth is exposed. Ah, this is making my brain constipated. I gotta move on…
The quality of this is really good. Mix sounds solid enough for me (note: not my personal expertise, but this sounds like I’m listening to a radio in my old holler).
1:21—this sounds good
Maybe it’s because I grew up with music like this all around me... all the time… nothing is really shining. No moment comes across as truly memorable. BUT this is how I feel listening to the Eagles, and most music of the like (except CCR. I love CCR. Bias alert.)… so maybe it’s solely taste. This is good ol’ bbq-sounding flair that I wanna eat a bacon burger and baked beans to in my neighbor’s backyard (man, that was a lot of B sounds). While my gal-pals were listening to the feel-goods of Sheryl Crow, I was listening to feel-good mansplainin’ like this. And yes, a woman used mansplaining in a positive way. haha Tell your friends.
This is a great Round One entry. My only gripe is it sounds too… safe. It’s takin’ it too easy. haha. Okay, that was bad. But ya know, that’s actually perfect for a Round One entry, it just makes it harder for me to rank. Just know you gotta surprise me more next round.
You’ve shown me you can make a radio-worthy song… now work on something that’ll help me remember you. The only thing I remember really from your song (after 3 listens) is the ending… and the way you say “hexagons”… because it makes me remember how my middle child used to call ‘em “pexagons.”
Have a pause in your song… change up the meter, rhythm. This song has good bones. As I said, “… radio in my holler.” That’s a compliment. Going forward, make yourself a tad more memorable. You have my permission to show off. Just please don’t do it with a pretentiously-longggg solo. Snore.
Post-listening note: despite my note above… your song was one from the round that got stuck in my head the most. It’s the way you said “hexagons,” man.
Vom Vorton - Out of Shape
First Thoughts: Green Day intro. Wait, no this sounds like The Cure. Love your accent. Getting some 311 vibes now.
Your voice works for this style. You could do a lot of genres with your voice. Versatile.
MGMT vibe there with the quirky synth/effect.
Thank you for mixing up your vocal stylings. With certain affects you need to rely on switchin’ up the vocal.
1:30—did the Muppets arrive? I actually like this.
That one effect starts to irk me around 2:00… maybe too long? Too loud? Or maybe tired of it? Maybe change it.
Hexa-gun. I love the way you pronounce it. Love it. I know this is geography/cultural, but I love it. “It takes all kinds to make a world.”
I keep reading over my comments and feel I need to add something more helpful. Honestly, this is fairly solid sans a mastering pass. My gripe with it is I feel like I’ve heard this song before… and before… and before…. in terms of progression, rhythm, vocal delivery. Great entry, I’m just not… WOW’d by it. But it’s hard to WOW with a Round One. Maybe if I listened to this genre more, preferentially, this would rank higher than it does for me. Still good. Not my favorite, not bad either. Porridge is tepid.
Try a new pedal in the next round. If you use the same… and I get The Cure vibes… it will probably be Friday… and I’m Not In Love… (I need to get better at jokes.)
I think I need more in the bass instrument department here. I still love those ‘Muppets’ hahaha it fits the “out of shape” lyric…
Hot Pink Halo - Gather Between The Stars
First Thoughts: Nice opening. Very nice. Like a star-rise… or set, depending on perspective.
OOO nice echo-on/layer-of that vocal.
Thanks for not using an obnoxious crash cymbal.
Some folks kill an atmospheric vibe with one obnoxious crash. This is steaaaaady.
I love your effects. OMG IT IS SO TWINKLY.
I like this. That choral echo sounds lovely. Very stellar.
1:52/2:32—cool. far out.
Pacing is very good. Love that li’l break at 2:00. This is a very “pretty” song.
I don’t know why… this gives me that same feels as listening to Shakespears Sister’s “Stay” for the first time. Different compositions of course, but same sort of arena. Dream-like resonance. I don’t know. (Please know any comparisons I make are complimentary.)
2:08ish—something is “off” with the vocal, makes the moment/transition lose its punch. Maybe if you went more somber… lower register (if you can hit it)… bring us down from the sky for a moment. This is a minor note, but seems like a key transition that lands a tad flat. Doesn’t hurt the song much for me, though.
2:16—I hear you digging for that feeling in that lyric, but it isn’t landing fully for me; a tad unstable. Just another vocal take or two and you got it. Or break the rhythm and say the lyric a tad differently.
The drums feel kinda off here.
2:25[ish] I was expecting some power chorus to arrive here and they didn’t haha. Still good, just wanted a li’l more EXTRAVAGANCE. GIVE ME THE GLITTER… if you wanna throw it. Either way works… haha
This ranks highly with me. Surreal. I feel like I’m ascending to the stars listening to it. Or twinkling myself like one. Man, I wanna twinkle like this through life.
Great creative concept instrumentally. Top 10, for sure.
I FEEL this song’s SHAPE more than any others here, I think.
I FEEL SO ASTRAL. I’M AN ASTRONAUT.
(Random: my son has this comic called The Astronaughty, and it’s hilarious.)
Sweet ending. Nice. I love pianos.
Met challenge well. I love stars, too. My piano is a 1909 Starr upright. I recently wrote a sonnet about it. ;)
I love your name, HPH. It’s cute and means business. Your album cover should be a HPH on a star.
Jennifer Lynne and the Dandelion Rebellion - If I Don't Pack My Bag
First Thoughts: Coming in a tad unstable at start, or is she somber. Let’s see how she lands. She sticks the landing fairly well. I’m in a bar. Bonnie Raitt vibe. Splash of Pam Tillis (post-listening note: “Maybe It Was Memphis” got into my head after this song).
Careful with your vowels… you have a beautiful vibrato that can veer bleat, if not careful. I didn’t really get that trigger here, though. Pretty vocals like yours have lived in my mental repertoire for quite some time. I grew up around sounds like this.
“Desire”— so pretty. Great hit on that note. I’m in my Dad’s old truck listening to Loretta Lynn or Crystal Gayle on his 8-track, or someone else of the like.
Dogs? Are those meant to be in there? haha
What meaning do they have to the song? Did I miss something? Probably (doggone it).
I liked the lyrics to this one.
1:02 nice.
As beautiful as this song is, I don’t really feel what I should be… feeling. Perhaps a tad more dynamic in the vocal and/or change up the melody… I wanna hear your emotions, not kinda guess.
You have the voice, lemme feel your words. Wow—I sound like a tie-dye-wearin’ guidance counselor, but I mean it. Maybe there needed to be a little more on the instrumental front? Right now I feel like I’ve been on too many antidepressants and am too blunted… too ennui’d to move… to act. Throw me some rocks.
The first few seconds of the song actually sound “off” to me. Maybe that’s just my ears, or maybe just one more take. Vocals sounds less confident in beginning than farther along. But this is how we tend to naturally perform.
This song plays it safe, dynamically. You’ve got the skill. Make yourself memorable—and you’re not the only one I’m sayin’ this to. Add some grit to words like “don’t” or “pack” (think how June Carter [Cash] does in “Jackson”)… even when sad, we feel the grit. We use that grit, too. Use yours. I know you got it by the way you sang “desire.” Throw me some rocks. Bigguns. Or if you prefer to go pretty, go pretty. Show me something challenging with the vox.
Totally random—‘Jenni Lynne & the Dandy Lions’ has a better ring to me. :-P
Yet, I know you may not be a “Jenni”… and you may be proud of that floral rebellion. :)
Aside—You and Carrie Spillane’s voices would sound so gorgeous together. I just played your songs back-to-back… I thought, “dang, what a dynamic duo.”
Good song. Edging near Top 10. Everytime I listen, I like it.
Don’t be afraid to yell, or be mad, going forward.
“The light on her oval lips reminds me” —girllllllll, you could totally wail this.
Hit it harder. Make it hurt!
Shake that sugar tree.
▷ - Don’t be a, be a
First Thoughts: Oh, boy. I know this voice.
Yeah, don’t be shy.
The way you say “TRIANGLE?” cracked me the hell up.
This sounds a little… William Hung (re: early American Idol). I say that as someone always game for laugh. I also looooooved Weird Al, if that says anything.
LOL. This is so quirky.
0:45—makes me want some Digital Underground’s “Same Song”
(did you laugh there? haha)
Wow, the effects are still swirling’… I’m in a pinballlll machinaeienieneiennnneeeee where am I? WHOA… the PYRAMIDSSSSS!!! WOWWWWW!!! Did I just die in Pac-Man?
These effects are cool, but I feel this song is more joke than serious composition. LOL I love it, though. I love to laugh. But dude, I have to grade this on a personal rubric… so sorry if this ranks poorly. I will say this song interested me fully and I was entertained. Listenability? Maybe 3 passes at most. It was really hard for me to repeatedly listen to this one… but it’s like a music version of a quirky inspirational poster.
I seriously had to listen to this more than I should have because I had such a hard time ranking it without comedic bias vs. musical. I’m silly, but have to be a serious judge here.
Don’t be a square-ahhhhh.
BE A CIRCLE!!!!!!!
Nowhere else?
What about a SPIRAL????
WHOOOO0000AAAA.
You’re a hoot.
Thanks for the laughs.
Challenge: Yes, met. If I said no, I’m a square-ahhhh.
Just so you know, my oldest son added this song to his playlist.
Some 12yo American loves your stuff.
Cheslain - Bokeh the Squid
First Thoughts: My husband, also a judge, and I both had the same person in mind when we were discussing comparisons here. I leaned toward a more bourbon-soaked Seal, but he disagreed. (I’m curious what his review says. haha) There’s some artist you sound like, someone really good, but two judges can’t remember who. This feller-in-question was in commercials for those promotional easy-listening CDs in the 90s… gah, why can’t I remember his name?
Anyways, you’re stickin’ around (unless the other judges smoked some sorta sauce), so hopefully by next round I’ll remember who this is and can put it in your review. Stay tuned.
I like the bossa nova touch. Makes me wanna eat a mango pollo torta in Mexico. Reminds me of my honeymoon, but not with you there. haha I want a Pacifico now, or a Skol.
I like those jazzy chords… reminds me “Lovely Day” (Bill Withers… and I’m gonna tell my husband to tell you a Withers joke in his review… because it lands for 1% of people. Crap. I ruined his punchline. Oh, well.) Now “Lovely Day” is in my head. Thanks.
Yeah, if bossa nova and Bill Withers made a baby… it’d make your bokeh.
Maybe we shouldn’t ponder that visual too much. haha
It isn’t really until the 2 minute mark where I keenly notice some real variation in instrumental rhythm. That is fine for me, as I like this genre, but in a competition I want a li’l more variation going forward. I wanna see what all you can do. :)
2:40—Nice. Love this. Beautiful transition.
If you could do a transition/progression earlier in your song where it mimics/mirrors/or “questions” to this atmospheric calling or “answer” here, it’d take your song next level.
You do great work with the inflection of your vocal.
I would probably actually listen to this again on a playlist.
Ends well. Like the trailing off. I was curious how you were going to end it.
You could honestly end this in so many ways. This song has good stage value, I think.
Now I want a Mai-Tai.
Damn, you’re gonna get me drunk.
This ranks highly for me. Maybe top 5. Need to do more listens. Very floatyyy.
Controlled. Superb production. Multi-situational vibe, versatile listening experience (i.e., I could listen to this at the grocery, toilet, or getting a mammogram—note: I was not doing any/all 3 of these while writing your review. I am civilized, most of the time.)
Challenge: Absolutely met. I LEARNED A NEW SHAPE. I’ve always wondered what these were called. Thanks for teaching me something new. I’m saving this shape for a future poem. You get extra points for teaching me something legitimately new to help me with my own craft. That’s paying-it-forward.
I like these lyrics.
YOU EARNED MY BRONZE!!!
Congrats! :)
Best Dad In Yorkshire - Cross It Out
First Thoughts: Adorable name. haha I really hope you are the Best Dad in Yorkshire. You’d have competition in Tyrone. I mean… your first sentence sounds like a line from a kid hahaha.
Sounds like stuff I’d hear on the radio in the mid-late 90s. There’s another artist/song the progression reminds me of, but I can’t pinpoint it. This sounds like what would play on my alma mater’s radio station.
There’s something about this mix that seems unbalanced. Like the guitars drown out your vocal a little.
Nice building. You know how to lead into a chorus well.
Yeah, if you bring out the vocals in the mix it’d change the vibe of the song. Give it more punch. Right now where the vocal is softer than I feel it should be… it takes away from the feel. It sort of blunts your delivery, if this makes sense?
2:00—I like this… and the “uh ohs” usually bother me in a song, but you deliver them in a non-pretentious way. This part gives me Weezer vibes, and Weezer takes me back to high school in the happiest way.
I think all this song needs to sound “good for legit airplay” is EQ, maybe something fuller in the bass? I feel something’s missing.
Again, sounds like something that used to play on my college radio.
I’m back to tell you that even though I didn’t rank you very highly… “cross it out” definitely is an earworm… the way you say it makes it really stick. I really think this song has potential. It was just wasn’t the right taste for me. Hope to hear more from ya.
David Dolan - Square in a Round World
First Thoughts: Your name is perfect for a sound like this. Sounds like a mix of Incubus “I’ll Be There” with a unapologetic pour of Americana. Wait no… it kinda reminds me of that old “More Than Words’ ditty by Extreme… wait, no… ahh, I can’t pinpoint it. Nice voice. I would listen to you in a bar. Probably would order another round.
I swear I’ve heard this rhythm before.
I love the way you say “shine.” Makes me feel like I’m talkin’ to my old buddies. Where are you from?! You must’ve read my bio. haha Are you sure you ain’t an old buddy? haha
0:40—Nice vocal forensics. I love when artists do this type of vocalization well. Some artists make this sound forced. (I don’t know what the “musical” term is for the chatty inflection here, but I hear it a lot in folk/Americana… I like it, if done right. You do it right. For me, anyway.)
I like where my brain is goin’ trying to figure out the guitar elements here.
Gives me some Sturgill Simpson itches with this pickin’ (check out his NPR Tiny Desk, his flatpickin’ is nuts). I find this interesting. Maybe clean it up just a li’l.
I don’t know why, but I really want you to yell. hahaha
Think “Run-Around” (Blues Traveler)… the way he yells at the end.
You could totally nail something like that, I think.
OOOOO like Travis Tritt—“Anymore” (my 2nd mention of this song in these reviews)…. you could totally pull off that yell, dude. Just practice, if it’s of any interest. Work some of those into your music. It’ll change your game. If you don’t like to yarl… ahem, yell… whatever, you sound just fine without.
Work on extending your natural vibrato.
I bet with extra practice, you could STEAL HEARTS with it.
I hope to see you in the next round. This scores mid-tier with me.
You remind me of home. In a good way. And my home wasn’t good to me.
If you don’t progress… don’t stop makin’ ditties.
Falcon Artist - The Spire
First Thoughts: Oh, yes. I see this title and I know I’m gonna be learnin’ something.
I like your intro speak. I could hear you talk all day haha
I’m at a bar. (I feel like I’ve been at a bar a lot today haha).
You would benefit from a better recording set-up. This sounds like a phone recording… where you have the guitar right at the speaker. That being said, if this is a phone… set it closer to your mouth. I’m hearing mostly guitar… and echoes of pretty and city.
Mix up your chords more.
I feel like your vocal would fare better with some fingerstyle guitar. Think John Prine.
Straight chord strumming takes away from your vocal. Your voice doesn’t blend well here with strumming, to me. Your chord transitions sound decent enough, though.
Find a chord… learn a chord pickin’ pattern. Learn to pick vs. strum.
You have a great voice o’ grit to sing a good ballad. I’m borrowing this note from another review as it’s true here—you give me a splash of Dylan vibes without the squawk and that’s sayin’ somethin’. I just feel you need to hone your specific sound that makes your vocal shine.
As someone who grew up in the U.S. “Appalachian holler” and speaks in a “broken brogue” (and has a lot of Scots-Irish blood)… try to learn some flatpickin’ or fingerstyle. Though depressing as all hell, John Prine’s “Sam Stone” has some amazing pickin’…. you could rock this style if you could learn a technique akin to it.
Wow. I learned a lot about The Spire. Thank you.
You should play this at The Spire. ;)
Lyrics: Seem a tad… too simple. Forced rhyme. City-pretty is a kiddie rhyme that irks me just a li’l.
This would go perfect at a local bonfire. I feel this is more for camp than for radio.
I say this without any negativity, my gifted 7th grader could’ve written these lyrics… yet, I did learn something, and I appreciate it.
Challenge: Met. If I said no, I’d be spired.
One could argue a “spire” isn’t an actual standalone geometric shape (it’s a structure), but the Spire of Dublin indeed has a geometric shape: cone. I love that I had to think about this.
Stacking Theory - the shape we’re in
First Thoughts: I love the opening. What it does to my head. Your accent is dope. Another The Cure vibe I’m getting from this round of songs. Another song I’d put on the 50 First Dates soundtrack…. mainly @ :34… that sounds so The Cure to me… and :54. Wait… Pink Floyd…
Ooo I like the heavy that comes in here (~1:00).
You might could spoken word, “No matter how we try… flatlining.” That would add some vocal variation to your mix. When I reach the word flatline, I wanna go low and slow… not energy.
The “round and round and round…” almost sounds like a cat meowing. It’s a little distracting. (I’ve definitely made worse sounds. Your “cat” is better-pitched than most other non-cats I hear.)
You may need something supporting your longer-held notes.
Beep beep beep beep… beep… whoa, I like this quirky transition… I don’t know if the beepy sound meshes with it, though. Sounds like we’re going to the saloon now… but we have a metal detector?
I felt a break in rhythm at around 2:27… or something like clocked my mind as “this rhythm is off/different”… I can’t tell…
I like that crunchy guitar. Bring it out a li’l more.
This gives me Bush vibes now here (Gavin was my first crush lol).
Ahh, the meowing. Perhaps you could add some effect to the vocal here… maybe something Pink Floyd-ish. I think if the “round and round…” weren’t so isolated in the mix (maybe add that heavy effect) I wouldn’t be thinking this was my cat. It’s a good-sounding cat. You don’t sound like a cat, but this does. I’m digging myself into a cathole.
The feedback/note/effect at the end… slightly ow. I know you’re going for a flatline, but my tinnitus is angry at it. Either lower the volume/adjust EQ, or find a new effect.
Pigfarmer Jr - Heart-Shaped Pillow
First Thoughts: My heart container Zelda pillow. Beginning gives me Hootie vibes, which I like haha
Layered vocal isn’t helping you like it should here. It sounds like I’m looking into one of those mirrors that show 28374938743928 versions of yourself, but it’s not making anything more apparent, if that makes sense?
How’s your voice when you take it down a little? Are you stable? Does your voice shake? I feel your voice would sound so rich if you could take it down a tad. Your voice is stable, consistent… but needs more grit. I need more gravel, or Cash deep. Maybe I just like lower registers.
That’s probably it.
You swing or syncopate some syllables that I feel don’t have to be swung or syncopated.
Like the overall sound! Decent bones.
Lyrics: There are some words where I felt the syllables could’ve been stressed differently… (and the only way for me to really give examples is to sing it myself, and I can’t do that here lol) “woman... I love” “Valentine’s Day”… “away”… “she is gone” falls flat.
I think you need more basslines? There’s some hole in the sound, and I can’t pinpoint it. The stacked vocal doesn’t benefit you here, it’s not even and I feel your voice is strong enough without it. I thought this on a nice set of earbuds and also laptop speakers. Maybe you just need a dope baseline.
2:25—Give me more emotion here. I feel you’ve kinda been on the same level, and not varying from your baseline much.
Huge Shark - Spheres
First Thoughts: Oh, man. This sounds so much like Annie Lennox. Is it you, Annie?
Lovely voice. I wanna put on shades. Maybe a silver jacket. I’m in a sophisticated lounge somewhere downtown. I just got a drink that glows in the dark. I’m leaning back on a chaise.
:16—transition sounded a li’l unstable
:43—I was expecting something epic here… the music hints otherwise… I love that effect, but the vocal lands flat here when I should be blown away like Celine Dion just slapped me with a heart that will indeed go on.
You sound like you lose vocal confidence around 1:14, something in your voice changes register slightly, I can’t pinpoint it. Was this a different vocal take from earlier? This sounds more… muffled? Off-key? More backgrounded?
1:42—again, this is such an opportunity to do something different and epic with your vocal. At this point, I feel you’re playing it safe.
You have a lovely, lovely voice… but I’m not hearing many changes/variations of what you can actually do with it. After a certain point, even the loveliest of voices turns monotone to my ears.
(I have never listened to an Annie Lennox record all the way through for this reason. I think she’s an amazing vocalist, too.)
Even changing up the meter/rhythm. Again you have the pipes. I think you could do wonderful things with this, just if you have the epic sounding transition, you gotta have the flying follow-through.
Around the 2-minute mark I felt the song getting repetitive. It almost feels like you’re getting bored with your own song.
Check back on why your vocal sounds so different at the beginning of this track vs the latter portion. That affected my ranking.
This would slap at a club. Your voice hits all the right club settings. Can you play piano, at all? It’d complement the vocal so well.
Ominous Ride - Bad Shape
First Thoughts: Chevelle (or Nirvana) meets Heart. I like the intro-build. You come in swinging.
Love the way you say “silhouette.”
Mix could be louder at the start.
That chugging could get louder or something, it just stays… level. I want to bang my head, but my head doesn’t bounce. Needs volume… punch.
Vocal reminds me of the dude that sings on the stage in the film, Hocus Pocus. (The character wearing the Day of the Dead makeup).
Vocal is very versatile, to add. I could even hear this vocal doing something on the heavy end, like Morphine (Mark Sandman)… or the suave end like Harry Connick Jr. That being said, I’m not sure if this particular ‘guitar sound’ fits the vocal. The vocal deserves more dynamic accompaniment. I can see maybe leaning into a Filter sound.
1:03—needs to come in harder. Too soft.
Blow me away here. You’re going the opposite way.
1:29—“180” degrees sounds a little muddy.
I want more oomph at 2:11… it lands a li’l flat.
2:11—that progression is now landing a bit repetitive; it worked at the beginning, not so much now. I feel like I’m in 6th grade listening to my Nirvana-obsessed boyfriend play the same Nirvana riff he just learned over-and-over. It’s good, just screams repetitive here.
My fave part of this is the potential of the vocal. Lean into a more dynamic sound. If you gonna go crunchy guitar… give my knees more crepitus… I ain’t crunchin’ like a Lays tater chip yet. If you gonna crunch… like… break my knees. Okay not like death metal… I just need a li’l more in the chugga-chugga department… if you’re gonna chugga-chugga, make me feel the chugga-chugga.
I wanted you to scream “I’m in bad shaaaaaaaaaaaaape!”
I’d like to hear the vocalist hold out a note more. You have my permission to belt. I think you got something you didn’t know ya had in ya. This needed a belt somewhere.
Solid mid for me.
Paul Dermody - Making Circles on the Ground
First Thoughts: CCR vibes… Bruce Springsteen… even Willie Nelson a bit. Or wait… one of the Neils… I always get Diamond and the other one confused. I think I may want another beer. You folks makin’ me a lush. “Rabbit hole.” There ya go.
It may just be availability to you, but your chorus needs more instrumentation/punch/vocal. It sounds thin. This would sound better with a more building bass-line accompanying you… electric guitar…
Just vary your inflection and chords a little more. Add some extra instrumentation to make your song, chorus especially, sound fuller and less ‘repetitive.’
I can hear this one being sung at a college party. I was buddies with a bunch of agriculture and wood science fellas at uni, and they’d like this.
This just needs to be fuller. Needs a band. Song won’t get the praise it deserves because it needs something driving that melody. Good bones. I would’ve totally heard this one around coal country.
Work on deepening your lyric and maybe finding someone who plays bass… or banjo. If you want to keep playin’ lonesome, maybe integrate more picking into your repertoire. I know I’ve mentioned this in the reviews of others a few times, but some Americana/folk sounds sometimes need more pickin’ vs. strummin’.
I appreciate the clarity in your sung lyrics; so many in this flair mumble. Inspirational without being overly corny. I enjoyed this one quite a bit.
David Taro - Tessellations
First Thoughts: Something about the beginning makes me think of that Chaka Khan and Rufus’ funky jam, “Tell me somethin’ good…” Very similar.
Interesting harmony/layering.
Maybe pan the piano, or balance, instead of having it set right. It makes my head fill unbalanced listening to it. Having piano being heavy in my right ear sort of makes my ear feel stopped up (this could just be a personal thing, or my earphone settings).
This has a Beatles flare… or somethin’ from that era. I wanna put on bellbottoms, I think. Or do I wanna graffiti some flowers on something… or plant a garden?
The layered vocal is off. In some places I feel like just one solid voice would be better than a layered/harmonizing track.
Okay this is REALLY sounding like Rufus. It’s hard to get Rufus out of my head.
Were you going for Rufus? This is like… the same progression.
Eh, harmonica solo. This is the third time I’m writing this one: make solos earned. Also, I have a weird thing with harmonicas. I just think they’re often used to replace an element missing in a song rather than adding to it.
That cymbal was a little much.
Like the open/choral sound.
It’s really hard to listen to this and not think you just interpolated some Rufus. I do like that song, though. I wanted to rank this higher than I did because it sounds so happy, but it also sounds so much like Rufus.
Ross Durand - What the Hell?
First Thoughts: I’m trying to peg what decade I’m in, musically. Gives me some Mrs. Robinson vibes… or “Bye Bye Love” (I love S&G and The Everly Bros., the latter influenced the former I think?)
Your vocal inflection is good. One of the better in the round. Like your grit.
This sounds like a voice I remember hearing a lot near my SWVA stompin’ grounds. Not the same accent.
Now, I gotta note I grew up in a holler where people complain about this kinda stuff ALL the time. ALL the time. Either this… or how their church is doin’ better philanthropy than yours.
This is lower-rated for me just because it doesn’t explore the lyric much further. It’s barely 2 minutes, and I feel like this is the Mt. Rogers campsite version equivalent to CCR’s “Fortunate Son.” I also personally don’t like political songs/ballads. (Used to like Aaron Lewis ’til he turned political.) I will listen to the occasional hate on the Pentagon, but I just get bored when something feels like a repetitive rant I’ve heard from my father-in-law… and uncle… and aunt… my friends who only read headlines… and a dozen of first cousins who’ve sung similar tunes without a guitar.
Don’t let that deter you. You definitely have your circle who would be like “HELL YEAH!” and raise their [whatever’s-in-their-hand]s to the sky.
You have a nice voice for this, but work a bit more on structuring a song into multiple parts. Break the repetition slightly. Break apart what you want to say into a more informative, less ranty approach… explore some fingerstyle into your guitar, varied rhythms… folks tend to listen to a strong voice with a message like this when there is something gentle behind it… otherwise you come across an intimidating, unapproachable bear… and your voice swiftly becomes that trombone in Peanuts. What do children do when they see a bear? Run. Hide (usually). If you have something you want to rant about… you gotta find that balance between pissed and gentle. Passive aggression… like squeezing and loving an adorable kitten while trying not to break it. This is all my butthole opinion talking.
I bet you could do some blues really well. Look into Piedmont blues… classic Delta. I could hear you doin’ a sweet 12-bar.
Vary up the guitar rhythms. Like I said… there’s an issue with the repetitive. Pick around a chord, break it up from your strumming. You’ll also find it’ll bring out your voice more, too. Strumming sometimes exacerbates our need to yell/banter/rant.
Prine’s “Sam Stone” (my 2nd mention of this song in this review list) says more about the Pentagon/war/addiction/what-have-you without hitting you with a protest sign. That’s a lyrical challenge I extend to you… try to say it without… hitting me in the head with it. Tell me a narrative; that’s a good way around it. Okay, you know that song “Don’t Take the Girl” by Tim McGraw? I know that ain’t about the Pentagon… but telling a STORY, not angered statements… goes a much farther way in this genre. Trust me. If you wanna keep ranting… lean toward a Mudvayne vibe. I’m not joking. “Dig” is great, if you like that kinda thing. It’s about rejecting industry pressure, fighting against sell-outs… may not be your bag, but it kinda rhymes with your passionate message.
Berkeley Social Scene - The Einstein Hat (Aperiodic Monotile)
First Thoughts: At first the voice didn’t seem to fit the music, but it’s grown on me a lot in the same way John Prine’s voice melted into my soul.
Neat shape.
Sounds like my alma mater’s radio station.
Like your dynamics. That’s been lacking this round. Nice blends here.
Similar note—your mixing is notable. It sounds like you have experience here. I can tell.
Maybe challenge your vocal range more. I can hear you attempt that high note and chop it. I bet you could get a good wail out. Maybe not a belt. Like I bet you could get a note out like that guy from Journey—what’s his name… ahhhhh, killin’ me and I don’t wanna Google it. “Don’t Stop Believin’”… I bet you could level up the band’s potential (vocally, at least) hitting notes like he does there. Man, I think you could do it. Just don’t overdo it.
The li’l solo reminded me of “Like a Stone” a li’l bit. It’s the guitar kisses. lol
Thank you for not making your solo go on and on and on and on… this is one of the better solos of the round. I don’t find most of them earn their place. Better hope I don’t listen again and change my mind haha.
Your sound could even go Beach Boys arena if you got bored… more atmospheric. That particular review note probably doesn’t spark interest you at all, but just sayin’ you could. I can hear bones clankin’ there. If you get bored at a party, throw a BB cover out there… see how it lands. I’d like to hear it, honestly. I have a guilty pleasure for BB. Maybe that’s why.
I think for this band to stand out more… y’all need some sort of instrument that doesn’t usually accompany this sound. A banjo? haha No. Glockenspiel? Theremin? Now I’m being silly. Right now, this sounds like all the other bands the DJs played at our alma mater’s station. You folks are good, you just don’t stand out for me.
traumadolls - Flattened
First Thoughts: OOO like the immediate bass. Sounds a taaaaaaaad unbalanced to my ears, but could just be my ears lol
OOO this is cool. Nice dynamics. The Killers vibes.
0:32—cute
Maybe do some extra effect with your voice at the chorus? It sounds just ever-so-slightly thin. Not by a lot, though.
I’m digging this. I usually don’t like this sound. I like those wind-chime xylophone pedal wah-wah effect hoobajoobers.
1:44 could blend a tad better… something’s missing here… your voice is bombastic but again, it sounds thin here.
This makes me wanna play my sons’ glockenspiel. Or skip around the room. I don’t know.
Good listenability. Good to dance to. Good for shakin’ my butt makin’ spaghetti. Good to sit down and listen to in the background… thinkin’ about grocery lists. Versatile listening experience (rare in this round for me).
Ranks highly. Top 10 potential for me at first listen.
Keep up with the cool effects. I like the effects you use on your vocal. Too often I hear artists either have the vox too loud or guitar. Your voice is ‘just right’ in volume. The music is cute but not too cute. I can’t even explain the sound right now, and I believe that’s a good thing. It’s The Killers meets Rockabye Baby in some ways.
Definitely explore your sound. If you give me another one that sounds just like this in Round Two, I maaaaaay get bored. This particular rhythm/sound is small doses for me, but you’ve executed it exceptionally well at an appropriate length. The ending alllllmost dragged, but the li’l twinkles at 2:44 saved you.
I bet this vocal would sound awesome over a nu metal beat like Linkin Park or even a [sexy] trip-hop beat. Heck, even a Deftones vibe… 30 Seconds to Mars even? (If you can wail like Leto does in “Bury Me,” please do.) Very versatile. Definitely explore it. Don’t give me the same vibe twice, if you can. I see potential in you. Can you play piano? Damn. I’m asking everyone if they can play piano haha.
Back to report, after all the listens… repeated listens… your song got stuck in my head the most. It’s the opening. :) That effect on your voice is a good one. Almost like a walkie-talkie. I’ve always like that effect on voices.
Thanks for teaching me about “Tang Ping.” I liked your lyrics. “I got grandkids to make but I’m bored now” hahaha That was funny. You should do a song about ennui. I think you could do it well.
YOU EARNED MY SILVER!!! :) :) :)
chewmeupspitmeout - be a circle in a world of squares
First Thoughts: Like this opening. This sounds like… Radiohead? No… Filter? I like this effect.
The ooooo synth kinda killed the excitement for me slightly. Toy with something else?
0:56—Okay, this transition lost me a little. It went a little circusy-sounding for me. But this is taste. Easy fix with a different synth?
1:21 neat a bit of recovery here.
1:30ish—I think if you added some echoey vocal here it’d take it next level
1:35—like!
1:47—yeah, I would like this better if it were a different synth. Sounds very… PeeWee’s Big Top? I don’t know.
I like the way your mind works… I wanna know why you made every decision you made here.
Yes, even after repeated listens, the circus-y transitions lose me… but not totally. I want something to go lower and heavier there I think, but that could just where my taste takes me. The synth reminds me of something I heard in maybe Toni Basil’s, “Hey Mickey” (if this isn’t a synth please pardon my ignorance, I’m a poet not a producer). It doesn’t sound as serious as I want it to? I don’t know if that’s it.
Great bones.
This song has great potential, it’s just not officially there yet for me. It’s that ‘big-top’ synth, I think.
Back to say—I really love this intro. Song loses me at :56 every time. Every time.
This could easily be a banger with the right fixes, though.
Star Bear - Tessellation
First Thoughts: I’m watching some show on Adult Swim… Metalocalypse?
Vocals come in very weak and not very well-blended to my ears.
Layered vocal sounds scattered… is this on purpose?
The backing vocal sounds nice I just can’t… hear… well?
The unbalanced vocal is making me feel uneasy.
The instrumentation sounds pretty good, I just don’t think it fits.
1:45—sounds so neat here. Nice bridge work. This ups your score.
The vocals are still very shaky, unstable. I’m also considering whether ridding of that layered track would make the song better. Unsure.
2:12—could beef up this part. It doesn’t build like it’s supposed to.
Needs more dynamics, and a smooth count. The count/rhythm seems off in areas.
3:06—is where the vocals sound the best… clearest… if this could be incorporated to the rest of the song, it’d take it to a significant next level. That being said, I’m not sure the 80/90s-sounding guitars sound the best with this vocal. Explore something a little more bare like in this early 3-minute mark. Sometimes less is more. The groove here is really nice… and when that metal sound comes back in at 3:15, I lose ya again… which is making me feel like this is a voice vs. vibe misfit. When the instrumentation goes fast… the vocal can’t keep up, it seems. I can’t exactly place it, but something more atmospheric vs. Meatloaf era (and hey, I like Meatloaf) would better this band’s chances for me.
Getting rid of the noodle-y solo-soundin’ 80s riff would up this song’s score. It gives the song a bit of a cheese vibe, but that’s just taste talking. I wish I had more technical input here because most of my ‘gripe’ is technicalities. You can rest-assured my husband, also a judge, will help you here. This is his area of expertise.
~1:00—the beat sounds off and vox unstable
A little more practice with EQ/mixing would be beneficial, but I have zero room to talk as you are already doing much better than myself here.
Lyrics—are a tad conflicting… you are a star… followed by you feel like my enemy… do we ever feel like the stars are our enemies? But wait… I thought you were a pattern in the stars… not a star… what are you? We tile along a plane? Now there’s a child? I liked, “connected sides. collective lives…” that’s a line worth saving. You could also flip that to be clever, “collective sides. connected lives” in a different stanza…
Define specifically who we’re talking about here… “we”… “you”… “each child”… if you can pick one and stay there… I feel like the instability in the vocal itself will flesh out. You have too much subject matter… make a statement, then explore the statement. For you, I’d recommend composing a song with more than just statements… unless you’re Godflesh. I need a little more… explanations, lyrically.
miscellaneous owl - Alfred Hitchcock Silhouette
First Thoughts: Strong intro. I wasn’t sure what to expect with the title.
You have one of my fave female vox of the bunch. I don’t know exactly why. Maybe it’s the music pairing. (I steer alternative.)
I like this crunch. Need more grit in my life.
1:09—goes weak. I wanted you to let GOOOOOOOOOOO, but it went Partridge on me. You still sound great, but man… I wanted the grit there. Give it to me!
This sounds akin to something in the Freaky Friday remake, like Lohan’s band in that movie… Pink Slip lol
You compose a good, driving, alternative-like rhythm. I just want you to give me a little more oomph… maybe there needs to be another guitar? This needs a bit more fullness in the instrumentation department.
2:27—yeah, this kinda loses me. It goes high and twinkly here for me. Maybe I’m just moody and want MORE MOOD. I’m not a pop fan, either. This leans a li’l Disney for me here when I want ya to give me a little… say… Shirley Manson, or something?
You sound like you may have a good range. I like this crunchy, Julia Stiles in 10 Things I Hate About You vibe (hey, it was middle school for me… and I loved Heath Ledger lol).
I bet you could do a good spooky vibe—think Chelsea Wolfe.
This song rhymes with a lot of music I play and listen to.
If you keep this crunchy sound, give me more grit. I like your vocal.
Reminds me of Fleshwater, but ‘prettier.’
Challenge: CLEVER. One of the most creative shapes in the round.
Boffo Yux Dudes - Icosahedron
First Thoughts: I feel like I’m in Tim & Eric’s Awesome Show.
Admittedly, this sound is usually not my bag… at all… except in aforementioned Tim & Eric, BUT everything seems to fit. I want to not like this, but I do. It’s like, adorable? I don’t know. I can see the Brady Bunch singing this in an episode (and to think I used Partridge in the review above, I think this was fate).
I’m like… rolling my fist in circles and swaying back-and-forth, and now I’m doing cool choreography… hands waving side-to-side in the “roll roll roll roll…”
I’m having the best time. I kinda wanna do my hair and put on a dress.
I could hear this during one of those kaleidoscope transitions in That 70s Show. LOL.
It’s hard to give much feedback here because this so honestly not my genre.
I liked the shape introduced.
I want to hire y’all for a birthday party.
Maybe explore a bit more dynamic with the vocal. I wanna put my hand on my hips and give some attitude when I hear this, but my hips ain’t showin’ attitude yet.
1:36 could be punchier. This could sound a li’l more a cappella… ?
Less instrumentation may bring out the vox more.
In terms of mixing… this sounds very balanced compared to others in the round.
This is solid mid for me. I think if the singer got a little crazier, this would take the song next level. Think Mike Patton. hahaha
Good listenability. I’m gonna go watch the Brady Bunch now.
Stefan Szabo - Circles
First Thoughts: OOOOO nice. P.M. Dawn? Oooo who’s that guy from Henry Co., VA… George Clanton? Similar vibes. Yeah… this is gonna be sexy…
YES. THANK YOU for not bombing that first note.
I was at the edge of my seat. SmoooooooV.
This is easy-listening. I feel like this is how Pete the Cat sounded as a teenager. Groovy.
With something smooth like this… I need something in my lyrics that makes me want to look up a word in the dictionary… the lyrics read like a bunch of lines from other songs put together. The musical version of a cento, I suppose. I want the lyrics to go in the deep end. Though admittedly, most music I hear like this doesn’t go deep… but yours should. I wanna think to this real hard, but I don’t have to yet. You could write a whole song on Plotinus, Langston Hughes, Tao Te Ching, Aristotle… one of their concepts, and man… it’d sound DOPE with your musicalities. (Or maybe I just miss college.)
2:33—I was about to comment, “you need to change it up”… you did here, good.
The production here is great.
2:57 Maybe add a little something extra to switch it up. You don’t need it, but if you want your lyric to land maybe something twinkly… or just simply different.
Arguably could cut by about 30 seconds and still have the same (if not better) effect. It’s so slowwww and groovy… that those last 30 seconds push it to redundancy.
I bet even sounds like Telefon Tel Aviv would sound really neat with this smooth vox. You have nice control and a keen ear for when to change a rhythm, when a line should end, etc.Very clean mix.
I think leaving out “in California” or replacing it with something a bit more universal would make it better. When songs namedrop a locale for no logical reason, even for the nod of respect, it’s a little distracting. You’re not TuPac or the Eagles yet… so yeah, just find 4 syllables to replace California. We all know about Cali girls… and waves… and sun... and how “things be hard in LA”… I also hear Cali folks hate on my accent. I wish I could’ve told Brian Wilson that Appy girls are just as pretty. Dude doesn’t know my Appalachia. Okay, that was a stupid tangent. Yeah, locale-droppin’ gives your song a Venn diagram. Include everyone, unless the story is specific. ;)
I want a more epic ending for some reason haha
Maybe it’s because I know you could do it. I think you have a sound that could get legit airplay if the right ear hears it.
My worries for you going forward is not changing up this sound. If you give me P.M. Dawn every time, I’m gonna P.M. Yawn. LOL. (Sorry, pun was right there.) Man, you got a niiiiiiice vocal. This almost sounds like you “playin’ it safe,” I don’t know yet… I’ll know more of what you’re capable of in Round Two. I don’t think you’re gettin’ cut. (If so, I’ll be very surprised.)
Can you play piano? If not… consider it—you got like a John Legend kinda voice… one that could lay over keys so ssssswell.
The timing of beats here is solid. My head never had a stuttered wobble.
This is one of my favorites of the round. I wanna hear this by a pool in my duck float drinkin’ a juice box.
Okay I listened to it again… I’m back at the skating rink… asking for quarters to play some billiards. Yeah, man P.M. Dawn vibezzzzzzzz. Sippin’ my juice box.
Back after more listens—I dropped your ranking a tad. :( … BUT it’s because I feel, despite the production quality and vox being stellar ’n smooV, this could’ve… done... more? It grew kinda blah for me a bit after repeat listens and comparative analysis. (And this is why we rank after multiple listens). This is where beefier lyrics come in. ;)
Man, it’s groovy, though. So groovy. Ambient applesauce.
I need more juice boxes.
Betty and the Rubble - Tesseract
First Thoughts: EQ is off?
Vocal sounds like it’s echoing in a coke bottle and needs more confidence.
Vox has lovely potential, just feels unsure where it is… or if it’s in the right place… which is interesting giving the lyrical content.
I think this would’ve scored higher if it had more EQ and production passes. Something to fill out the vocal. It feels empty/thin at the moment. I’m not much for the lyrics, even though I feel like I want to be proud of them… for something… I can’t tell. The lyrics are probably the most conflicting of the bunch.
1:30—adds some flair the songs needs.
“Straight lines are narrow and one-dimensional,” but you preface with “skinny.” Not all straight lines are skinny. Some are fat, not narrow… it’s perspective. And a circle can arguably be viewed as a “straight line” depending on the framework. So that being said… the quotation comes off as slightly reaching and offensive. Maybe that’s what you want? That’s a-okay, but you “see all sides”… yet “spare [you] from the fetishizing male gaze,” you’re being a tad contradictory. I found that line hitting interestingly after stating, “Identities can grace the main stage,” not sure if you were trying to be sarcastic there… or if this is just a conflicting message. I was really confused by your song. Do you like men, or just hate their gaze? I just don’t know what this song is celebrating… claiming? I want to be proud of you… I think. Congratulations on being 4D.
Beautiful vox potential. Flesh out your lyrics. Work on your “promise of the premise.” This quoted concept is used a lot in screenwriting, but have found it helps immensely with lyricism.
So Then I Says to Mabel, I Says - Fallen Arches
First Thoughts: The band name itself wins. Title reminds me of either McDonalds or my feet after pregnancies.
“cyclopean masonry” learned something!
I mean this as a compliment, you sound like Weird Al minus his nasally ways. Again, this is a compliment. I love Weird Al. He actually has good pitch. haha
Y’all need a pedal/lap steel. LOL.
That knocking (blanking on the instrument, sounds like hooves lol)… gets… distracting.
It’s loud to me in the mix.
This band needs fullness. I hear a lot of band, but not at the right volume.
I’m not sure some of the synth choices fit the rest of the sound.
There seems to be a hiccup in rhythm with the drum in a couple parts, or maybe there needs to be more fill?
I can’t really tell what genre to place this in, and not sure if this is a good or bad thing.
I’m not a big instrumental solo kinda person… here, it’s the best part of the song.
3:04—good vocal inflection
Yeah, it’s that synth. I don’t think it fits…
Good ending.
I’m not sure the vox need to be that reverb-y.
Also In Blue - Vicious Circle
First Thoughts: Aw, well ain’t this cute. Adorable voice. Good pitches. Sounds like a cute ditty, so far… let’s see where we go… they must do theatre. Jason Mraz vibes… awwww. You should work for Danny Go! Send that crew your ditties… now! haha
This is feel-good stuff.
A liiiiiiittle unevenness in the production around :50… vocal gets a taaaaaaad too soft, but repairs quickly. Could just be my ears.
Oh yeah, this person has theatre background. This person’s had a solo in a play; had to. Nice projection of voice. Steady. This isn’t a voice I wanna hear much grit with. Very clean echo in an auditorium is where I want to hear this.
Nice layered track where it’s needed.
Too often in this round did vox layers not accomplish anything.
1:38—cute! Mandolin?
Solid, controlled vox.
I hear something background—strummed banjo? Mandolin? Sounds mostly in my right ear. It got distracting around the 2-minute mark. Or maybe it’s just my earbuds… or maybe that’s a sign to vary up the rhythm on the instrument. Or maybe I’m thinking too hard about it because I’m “reviewing” it. I dunno. I’ll give’r a couple more listens and try to figure this out. (Yeah, add a li’l scale run, or pick somethin’ there.)
Nice build… (2:40ish).
I could hear this on a Curious George soundtrack. I say this as a mom. lol
Probably the most adorable song of the round.
You hold out notes lovely. That folksy instrumentation gives you Bill Monroe vibes without the Bill Monroe and I don’t know how to say it… you’re like the Jason Mraz version of Bill Monroe here, but this song ain’t Bluegrass. I don’t know what I’m sayin’. I’m ramblin’. You sound good. haha
Great use of multi-instrumentation… layering. I can tell you’ve been doing this awhile, and very very well.
If you plan to expand this song… maybe add some spoken word… sprechgesang? (Is that what the music kids call it now?) to vary up the rhythm… you could afford it here. You have great inflection and control-of-tone.
If you haven’t already, please do a kids album. I’d love it. Your voice over a mandolin and glockenspiel/xylophone would be the vox equivalent of seeing a puppy in a window.
Very nice. Top 10 (easy) for me.
You need a fedora.
Flintsteel - Demon, Awake!
First Thoughts: This followed Also in Blue and WOW what a genre shift!!! HA! OMG
I had an ex in college that would LOVE this. I feel like I need to grow my hair out. I feel like a I need a big ol’ bike that has a gnarly flame on the side… oh, gosh… I need a scythe. Where’s my makeup… it’s time to warpaint my face. Where’s my portal?
I need more grit in the vox if you gonna have these chugga-chuggz
The background vocal needs to be brought front. That husky bear needs to growl more.
“GOT” there ya go. I hear some gravel there. Good… you need more of that.
Gosh this is taking me back to the jukebox at the Pizza Hut I frequented as a kid. They had a song from the 80s… 90s… that sounded so much like this. Wish I could remember the name. If I do… I’ll put it down at the bottom somewhere after more listens…
:44—clean up this transition a tad
1:40—this is cool. thanks for keeping it short.
1:50—sounds neat
This sounds like a demo to a Sonic the Hedgehog game… I DO NOT KNOW WHY.
2:00—I like this bear-y vox. haha It needs to shine in more parts. Like I feel like it needs more lead time.
This leans into my personal “cheesy metal” sound for me, especially around 2:45. It sounds “cool,” but if you don’t wanna stereotype yourself… you kind of are there, according to my butthole opinion.
For quality, compared to others in the round, this is mid-upper tier. The mixing is pretty decent. I think the song runs a little long, but I’ve always thought this about the songs in the genre. The lyrics make me think a bit more than a lot of the others in the round… even if I found the logic a li’l lopsided. I understand the songwriter has a world they need to create, though. I appreciate that.
This was fun. I get bored with this genre quickly, so folks… if you progress… give me more GRIT with that chugga-chugga. If you gonna give me the squirrelly solos, I gotta have my gravel. Gotta earn those solos with my ears. Bring out the bear some more. Good luck!
Siebass - Always around
First Thoughts: Sounds like something got chopped at the intro? Is this Alanis or Dylan… harmony could’ve used maybe one more take. Pretty, though. More harmonies requested.
Nice wordplay.
1:00—something sounds off around here.
With your voice… for me it could lean to vibes like Radiohead or Placebo…heck, even Smashing Pumpkins. All these folks I love what they do with their vox. This is solely a taste thing: I don’t find harmonicas that interesting… and the whole time I was listening to this wishing for some crunchy guitars. I mean the harmonica is oooookay, but at one point I thought I might’ve been in Paris. I don’t know. I’m not a Bob Dylan fan, and as a poet find him insanely overrated, so I felt like this was a Dylan nod. It may’ve not been, at all. Regardless, you don’t squawk like Dylan though. Yay! :) (I think I’ve said that more than once in these reviews.)
1:46—doesn’t work for me.
Incorporate some spoken word into your songs, I’d like to hear how that sounds. I think you could pull it off well… if you have decent vocal inflection.
2:30—more of these!!!!!!!!!! I love some good pickin’. That was cute!
Came back after another listen to tell you I still love this pickin’. MORE!
With a harmonica kinda song, I need more variation or they all just sound like Dylan. Just taste. This sounds well enough. Just doesn’t spark joy. Now… if you had randomly thrown in some blues… that’s where a harmonica shines in my eyeholes. Maybe I needed more from the lyrics to activate that harmonica for me? I don’t know. I should like the harmonica more. I mean 6 letters of the instrument are my first name… I have heard good harmonica… I just… need to shut up about harmonica.
Okay one last thing: Here I feel the harmonica is trying to replace some particular quality the song is missing vs. adding flair to it.
Have you tried these vox over something heavy like Smashing Pumpkins… that vibe? I think the vox here would go well over something heavy vs. something light like this. This feels lyrically gentle in a way that I wanna get pistol-whipped by a pistol-shaped Ibanez, or something.
Nathan Joe Long - A Thousand Paper Cranes
First Thoughts: Thought it was that Delilah song in the first 3 seconds lol.
I think you’d sound better singing slower. The lyric ‘feels’ heavy, but it’s sounding too fast for me to process any of these feelings.
Clever utilization of challenge.
I hear the jitters at the beginning… or just hear the pulse in your voice. You sound rushed.
Explore your lower range. When you hit low I can FEEL it on my end. And I like it. The way you say “back”—there’s an opportunity to go low.
I think if you added a foot tap or some other percussive element… even a shaker… it’d up-the-ante on this song a lot.
This sounds like back home to me. I like it. You have a lovely voice, do more with it. Try a holler… a whisper… you tried something at 1:33, but you don’t sound confident. Explore the grit. You sound like you want to be very polished (maybe), but I hear some gravel in there that wants to smack me in the girly head. Go ahead. I like a good rock collection haha. (The worst thing I feel the industry did to Darius Rucker’s voice was POLISH IT. UGHHHHH!!! Okay, sorry… tangent.)
Yeah, again… the rhythm is not varying too much, so it’s got this redundancy feeling as there’s no band to fill the sound. So without a band you have to pace your lyrics, but your delivery and the pickin’ are at the same speed… kinda fast. Slow one down… I feel it comin’ fast, but the lyrics need to land slow… I think? Do they? (I will actually read your lyrics after a couple more listens.)
Edit: back to tell ya…. check out Sturgill Simpson’s “Turtles All the Way Down”… if you can slow down to about that vox tempo… I think that might be one of your sweet baseline for delivery… maybe not specifically for this song… but going forward keep that in mind. :)
At 4 minutes, yeah, you need more fullness here. The bones are there, for sure.
An amazing voice with some amazing potential. You need a band. If you plan to solo it, learn a crapload of pickin’ patterns. I have no idea what you look like, but you sound like a heartthrob.
Hope that helps the ego. You really do sound beautiful.
Slow it down some. Explore the lower part of your tessitura. Vary your pickin’ patterns, incorporate some slides, maybe. Go (s)low. (I also have a preference for bass-y voices. I must note this. haha)
As it stands with this song… I can’t tell if you’re going for something pop-rock or leanin’ country. Your voice could go either way. From my ears… the way you cut your gs… I want you to do Americana/country. lol
Need more punch on “somehow.”
The riff sounds a LOT like Plain White Ts… and I’d imagine a lot of listeners will make this connection. That being said, vary it up… and you’ll have less of those comments.
Yeah, after a few more listens. This could be shorter. And slower. Maybe even some strumming vs pickin’ in places. Nice vox. Good song.
Ironbark - Hourglass
First Thoughts: I like that swell of an opening, but wasn’t expecting that landing. Interesting. I like something that sounds different.
Need a li’l more inflection in the lyrics. Wait, this may be the vibe.
You should do Audiobooks.
I like the lyrics. They’re kinda… dark, but I like it! Nice execution of the challenge.
I don’t feel the polka-esque sound effect is the best way to bring out your voice. I really like it, though. I love Jim Henson and I mean… I want Kermit to show up and sing with you. Something about that accordion-like sound. I wish the instrumentation varied some more.
Edit: Back for another listen… that effect grew on me. :-P
I need a little more dynamic with the vox... but the other side of my brain is sayin’ it works? Maybe I’m just not used to your sound. Not a bad thing!
The levels of the instrumentation is nice. I don’t really hear much issue there. Sounds pretty level throughout to my earbuds.
1:54—you can do it!! Try it again and I bet you could realllllly nail that part. Don’t be scared.
2:20—like the twinkles here
3:24ish—interesting… wish this had been introduced another time earlier in the song.
I want you to read me a bedtime story lol. I think your voice over piano and/or strings would be soooooooo lovely.
After a few listens… with the sincere calming of your voice, I feel like song may be a tad too long. It’s soooooo soothing that I find myself kind of sleepy by the end. Bad for the song, good for your voice. Maybe I’ll listen to this when my kids start yelling.
Note: I did. It helped… kinda.
I love the ending and wish there was another “break” kind of like it elsewhere in the song.
This could’ve totally been on a soundtrack to some Wes Anderson movie.
I came back to tell you your ranking got bumped up after multiple listens. You have a very unique sound. :)
Sunflower Bastard - Stadium
First Thoughts: Oh wow, you sound like a blend of Seal and Seth McFarlane... hell, I don’t know why Duran Duran just came to mind… and, there’s some other dude you sound like from the 90s I can’t remember. I really, really, really like your operatic kinda voice. You could host game shows… or MC. I wanna hear you say, “…Arrrrsennnioooooooooo Halllllllllllllll”
“Hope” landed a li’l awkward.
:25—wasn’t expecting this haha
:38—I like wobble in the bass haha I keep wanting you to bust out in a funky rap, or something.
1:12—OH, WOW MAMA’S IN CHURCH NOW
LEMME GET MY ROBE!
Where’s Kirk Franklin? He’s late!
Now, this is fun. Age of Aquarius time.
Oh man, I like to party.
The room just got colorful… and people are liquid dancing… or… is this…
…holy bell-bottoms, it’s a DISCO!!! It’s a disco, baaaaaaabyyyyyyyy.
And there’s… are those elephants? Or… wait, is that synth Trent Reznor (1:58)?
How’d you get Reznor here? I want his number.
Now… what is this noise… I’m on a ride, folks…
… okay, we’re back to church….
haha I wanna clap, too. (update: I am clapping!!!)
OMG! I AM CLAPPING! I’m gettin’ down. My body is kinda sausage, I guess.
I don’t know how to feel. Are we in the Age of Aquarius yet?
I want to clap more. haha
This song also reminds me of that moment in Nothing but Trouble (90s comedy) where Digital Underground shows up.
Where was this song when I had the baby blues? hahaha Unreal.
2:55—LOL.
This was a lot of fun. Sometimes I love not knowing where a song is going the whole time I’m listening to it. (Not a whole album of it, though.)
I love love love the vox. You could probably do a LOT of genres. Voice acting. Game shows. Sportscasting. The “DO NOT TANGLE” part was so well done. Like, this is cheesy as all hell, and I usually eye-roll at stuff like this, but GOD I CANNOT STOP SMILING.
The way you say “get down”… I feel your grit. This is so great. Maybe I just needed to laugh. Damn.
Philosophical inquiry: does a Sunflower Bastard lean more toward the sun, or away from it?
Or does it just depend on the bastard?
This song took me to Aquarius and back.
Name is 100% appropriate, Sunflower Bastard.
Gimme some ‘big band’ kinda stuff with that voice of yours. haha
Gimme some more of this bastardly sunshine…
… but give me something different in Round 2.
YOU EARNED MY GOLD!!!
Okay folks—
This song made me laugh ’til I teared up, and its well-choreographed unpredictability was totally fun and everything felt earned. This was a two-hour documentary on some sort of shapely circus disco pressed into a three-minute song. Color me disco impressed.
Was it the best produced? Not necessarily.
Best lyrics in the world? Well… no. I’m not even sure if it all makes sense. That’s the point.
Will it get a Grammy/BRIT? No…t yet.
Did it meet the challenge? Yes.
Did it have some originality? YES.
Do I wanna play it again? Yes. I have. Like 10 times.
Did it deliver a party? YES! AND THE STADIUM WAS FULL, Y’ALL!!!
(I really did clap! There was even a butt-jiggle.)
This really was the best *overall* song to me. It literally… made me… dance. (That was my deciding factor for the round.) This has dynamics. This has staying power. I could hear this now, in 1960. In 2060. Maybe not 1920, as we didn’t have disco then (just in the closet). I could hear this at a kids party… an adult party… at the bar… at the pool… at Target. I used to breakdance, and wish my knees didn’t crack like tater chips so I could whip out a 6-step to this song. Oh folks, I’m just jabbering.
I demand a music video. I need it for my sausage body.
I gotta take my roller-skates off. Stadium’s too hot.
Sober - Boxes
First Thoughts: Chris Stapleton and I are having a drink right now. Seltzer ‘cause it’s Sober.
He has something seriously sweet to discuss... and it’s not a wine cooler…
Bring out the vox a little more.
Nice ol’ effect on that “brow”… I feel like Woody from Toy Story openin’ up some saloon doors.
This sounds like the honky-tonk version of “Plaisir d'amour,” or that Elvis song… the one UB40 covered.
Oh, snap he’s talkin’ boxes. Are we gettin’ Schrödinger with it? Let’s see…
Ah, HELL YEAH. I hear a fiddle? I wanna hear it more in my right ear… well, more period.
Man, this makes me wanna go to Dollywood. RIP DOLLY. *blubber tears*
D’aww ain’t this sweet. You took a corny concept and made it sound original, and work.
Maybe just a quick EQ pass.
I feel in some places the instruments could’ve blended better.
2:05—nice transition
You got a George Strait thing about ya.
Sometimes the pedal steel sounds too cute. lol Sometimes less is more. That’s just always been my personal take on pedal/lap steel. It kinda ruined Brooks & Dunn, and others of that time, for me haha.
2:30—lands kinda flat.
This already sounds better than most I hear from this genre nowadays. I grew up in SWVA, if that says anything. Compliments here. Takes me back to what I’d hear in the 90s at a local diner in my holler… I just ordered the butterscotch dipped cone… or maybe I’ll get the root beer float. I’m kinda bloated from that burger. This ditty will help me digest like ol’ diner-times.
Maybe a spoken word spot would beef this one up a tad. I thought you were gonna do it at, “They say woodcraft”… talk to me, maybe.
Maybe next time you do a take of this (if this is one of your ‘keepers’), have a lady in there. I don’t know… I need more emotion. I know that’s hard when you have a particular studio set-up. You have great projection I just… I don’t know there’s something I need more of and I don’t know what… hell, it could be a banjo. My life usually needs more banjo.
That’s the one thing I’m noticing after repeated listens is these are sweet lyrics but I don’t feel much of anything. Like I wanna feel like your most bodacious box of goodies in the waterin’ hole. Think of how Tritt performs “Anymore” from Live & Kickin’ … ah sh*t, that gave me chills. I wanna feel something similar here. Maybe without the yarl. But I’m a yarlin’ darlin’ myself, so I don’t discriminate. Flirt with the mic a bit more. I mean, don’t lick it or anything. Unless you want to, I guess… but ASMR ain’t my thang.
Lyrics are sweet, clever in parts. Met the challenge creatively.
Show off some fingerpickin’. ;) Hope I hear more of ya in Round Two. I like this sound.
The Pannacotta Army - Rough Diamond
First Thoughts: Nice. Rhythm reminds me somewhat of old 50s/60s ditties. Slight Jack Johnson vibes.
This has a feel-good sound that doesn’t veer too corny.
Vox go with this sound really well.
:54ish—nice.
1:15—nice.
Good transitions. Keeps me listening…
Key word missing in your pasted lyrics lol Took me minute, “So I make myself scarce” ok… I thought that’s what I heard.
This kinda reminds me of The Walkman… oh what’s that dude’s name… he ended up doing a kids album. Walter Martin? Is that him? Ahhh, sorry I stink with names. Compliment regardless.
This gives me the same feel-goodness as Also In Blue’s entry.
Solid production. Nice. Vox could be a taaaaaaaad clearer, or brought out some. Can’t really tell.
2:27—I often find solos fill space where the songwriter ran out of ideas… I don’t know if this solo earns its spot yet.
This is a cute song. I’ma score it pretty well. I don’t really have a lot more to note on it after several listens (this is a good sign here). It’s a solid Round One entry. I’ll probably have more useful feedback once I hear another new one from this band… still tryin’ to figure ‘em out. Not my usual genre, curious where they go next. I’m curious, so that’s something good to hold going forward.
If y’all get cut this round, I’ll be very, very surprised.
glennny - The Octagon
First Thoughts: This neat driving rhythm works for me… in small doses. It’s an earworm, though.
:34 need something more punchy for this transition
:44 a tad soft
I like this chorus, it just sounds soft.
Eh, I’m not a big instrumental solo person and noted in another review that sometimes I fill they are used when a songwriter runs out of ideas and just needs to fill space. I mean, it sounds okay… but does it earn its place? I don’t feel it blends back into the next verse as well as I want it to.
After repeated listens, the chorus going soft when it is catchy as hell may be this song’s biggest downside… aside from me getting kind tired of that rhythm. A lot of my work is recognizing “patterns,” so repetition will irk me more than for another judge, probably. Another judge may wish you to bring it out more haha. I’ll give this another listen or two and see if I can find anything else. :)
After more listens… there’s nothing technical I’m noting, this one’s just not my taste. It has earworm potential. I just sometimes feel like there’s a mismatch with the voice and the sound. I don’t know. Maybe a slower intro, but I feel like another judge will tell you the drive is what they loved about it. Just taste, man. It’s just that opening rhythm… I think… I just can’t… catch up… or get into it.
Boo Lee Crosser - i haven’t been thinking of you
First Thoughts: Beautiful intro.
I tend to like prefer the word “vices” to “cigarettes” in a song, but that’s personal. I know you may’ve been trying to capture a memory and a rhyme at once. I just don’t like the way “cigarettes” sounds (in any song) and kind of muddies sentiment for me. This is minor, though. I feel cigarettes may actually be a connection here and earns its mention. If it’s just to rhyme with regrets, consider revision. I honestly thought cigarette was gonna be the “shape,” at first. Maybe lean into that if you revise.
Chorus maybe been better without that layer. Just sing as one lonesome voice. You’re longing for someone, don’t add that layer unless you fill out the rest.
This sounds emotionally heavy… “But now I don’t know what to say” landed flat. It needs to go somber or brave, not flat.
The vox is naturally dynamic, but doesn’t vary much in its own dynamic.
I wanted the chorus to punch me a little harder, I guess.
Having the guitar play along note-for-note with that lyric takes away from it. Let your voice tell the story. Let the guitar hold you afloat, as chordal support.
I want the music to vary up more. This deserves more epic parts. If no extra epic instrumental parts, you could probably honestly cut by a minute and still keep all the dear sentiment. If you even added an e-bow... or a violin (if there is one, bring it out more)… or… I wonder how this would sound completely unplugged? Probably great. You have a very powerful voice to take this acoustic, but this sound also fits you. You give me slight 311 vibes. Takes me back to middle school before life got weird.
The drums right before the 3 minute mark sound a li’l off to my ears? Rhythm drags.
ooo like that @ 2:44, nice build… i still think the layering could use a pass.
3:00—tad disorienting. Vox grow quiet.
Heartfelt and you can feel this emotion.
Near the end the quality goes down, when this should be the strongest for a song with lyrics like this.
Felt the end of Verse 1 sounded awkward, maybe one word could help further that connection between the cards and Joan of Arc, otherwise it sounds forced for the sake of vocal rhythm. I’m a poet by trade, so making that connective tissue smooth out the flesh of your message is important to me. There may be some connection I’m not making/understanding yet.
I really regret saying this because this would’ve been mid-rank (teens), but this is the only one in the round that didn’t meet the challenge for me.
A mention of “you are a spiral in my mind... ”… or something of the like would have met it for me. I do see the cards’ descriptors and the use of the word “constellations,” but the application of those shapes is not met. Lyrics aren’t really talking about a shape in the right context to fulfill this challenge (for me). Another contestant used a card reference, yet they explored an application. This song gives a casual mention. A shape is n of the song’s lyric.
This rank is not because of the quality.
I had to rank this last because of a rule I need to respect and follow as a judge. <3
Addendum: Dear BLC—I’m feeling like such an a-hole after reading the preface to your posted lyrics. (I read posted lyrics last.) I’m sorry, man. I can’t break my own rules… I have justice sensitivity, so please know I have tried every which way to try to make this fit the challenge, even with the word “dice.” It just doesn’t fit the challenge for me. I’m giving you the biggest air fist-bump, hug, what-have-you in sharing this moment with you—you wrote a great song. Forget the technicality.
P.S. I know a li’l about Joy via this special community. I lost someone similarly in 2019. They’re my aunt, and the ‘godmother’ of my children. I don’t know if I’ll ever get over it… maybe; it’s hard for folks to relate. We bought my late-aunt’s Jeep from the estate… guess what we named the Jeep? Joy. ;) It was one of her favorite words.
A pebble from my own broken heart is with you. <3 Please try to enter a shadow if you get cut. I want to hear more from you. :)
the profane bells - Circle Back to the Start
First Thoughts: I’m riding in the car down the highway. Nice Petty vibe here, sorta.
I want the vox to do a little more dynamically.
But this stillness may be the point, like a deadpan comedian.
:55—neat, I like that effect (it comes back in)
Interesting chorus.
I think I’d like Petty more if he sounded more like this, honestly. I find him overrated.
I feel like you’re mumbling. I really want you to get into it at some point.
At some places it sounds like the Ativan kicked in.
Another voice that reminds me of Walter Martin.
Maybe I need to get that one out for the kids.
Nice layering track there.
3:07—more random instrumentation like this
That ending sounded really neat, and I feel like a few more effects of the like could’ve been integrated into the song itself.
I like the atmospheric flair, though sometimes I feel like the vox drag.
The music almost feels “too fast” for the vox in some areas.
I really like the chorus. One of the better ones in the round for me.
A female vocalist would probably pair well with this voice, too. Consider duets. That may be the dynamic I feel is missing. Stay tuned. I liked this one. If you can get me seeking out some Petty, you’ve done something right.
There’s some song you sound like here to me, and I’m desperate to find out. They’re someone good, though. Know that. Keep that atmospheric stuff, it sets your sound apart from that “usual” grind I hear with this genre. Just don’t go Brian Wilson with it, i.e., overboard.
Back after another listen…
I remembered who it was: Blue Öyster Cult’s “(Don’t Fear) The Reaper”… you give’n me the reaper vibes lol
Christine Fanning - Square
First Thoughts: This first 5 notes reminded me of a Christmas song.
Lovely voice.
Okay… what Christmas song does this remind me of?
“Liberty brings freedom”—timing of layers a taaaaad off, but pretty.
I want the music to change rhythm some.
“from afar” try a take where you sing it lower… it may sound a little better?
I feel like some places taking it low vs. high may’ve sounded better.
I still want the music to change rhythm; repetitiveness is now overshadowing the vox.
Wait… did the song just cut off?
This could be a fantastic song if the artist had more time (I’m assuming), and more riffs/chords.
Work on exploring the lower part of your tessitura.
Has some Luscious Jackson vibes with the layers.
N/A - Round in
First Thoughts: OOO I like a quirky sounding intro.
This first vocal delivery has potential, it just doesn’t execute the way it should for max effect.
This has some Shpongle ft. Amy Lee vibes haha.
Female vox really nice.
These voices blend well.
Definitely too short. BUT the voices make me want more. So this docking for length may balance out, we’ll see how my further listens go.
Explore that Boards of Canada-akin sound… I like it. It’s different…
I feel if y’all worked on your production and… maybe had more lyrics/time to finish(?) … y’all could be really dope. I mean it. I like that airy, ambient vibe.
Having the ending cut the way it does… hurts your already short song. If the song had even ended cleanly after “Triangles,”…it’d be arguably a mid-to-upper tier song for me. I mean that. Sometimes I can get more from a song with minimal lyricism if the music makes me dream. But because it cuts so much and the production doesn’t seem too polished, I have to lower it.
… but know I feel y’all got a lot of potential. Submit something complete next time… if you have the time. Your name is clever, too. A witty name alone can draw interest.
Brother Baker - The Rhombus
First Thoughts: American Pie soundtrack. Comes in strong.
I like what this artist does with the vox. They’re not afraid to explore their dynamic.
Sometimes the squirrelly guitar covers the lyric.
I think where this song loses me a bit is the build toward the chorus.
This is a strong vocal, so the build needs to match it… right now the build (:22ish) to the :30… just doesn’t escalate to my ears as it should, and not only that… it lands flat.
(Yeah at 1:29—weak landing, too. This could easily be beefed up.)
Not sure if that layered vox helps ya in some places. You don’t always need a layer to sound full. Sometimes it’s just a new riff. Or key change. Or a bridge… to play, not jump off of. (Sorry, I need a nap.)
2:12 onward—that cymbal is a tad distracting. I’m not much for it. (It woke me up, though.)
You have one of the better uses of vocal dynamics in this round.
I like what you do with your pipes. Theatrical but not… dramatic? Gosh, I’m not making sense.
Work on your build to the chorus. EQ seems off… like something doesn’t seem balanced and I can’t pinpoint it. Maybe it was the cymbal lol.
Memorable name. Alliterative. Thought there’d be an organ somewhere with the Brother there, but not disappointed. haha I bet your voice over piano would be cool. I love dynamic voices over quirky or heavy bass-chorded piano. I love piano. Wait, is this preferential treatment if I tell you that? I don’t love piano. That’s a lie. I love piano. Try to play over piano sometime. Maybe not here. Unless you can play. Play some piano. I can see you composing good builds on one—it’ll probably help with your lead-ins to the chorus. ;)
Micah Sommersmith - Red Octagons [SHADOW]
First Thoughts: I’m happy. I think. Okay his motor’s runnin’. Happy?
I love this vocal, but I want different music with it. haha Not saying the music sounds bad (at all), it’s generally ‘not my bag.’ Played well to my ears, though. I’m not wanting to turn it off in any way. :)
“Let My Love Open the Door” rhythm in some parts. I love that song… and yours reminded me of it. Now I’ma go play it… or watch Crazy, Stupid, Love because the song’s on the soundtrack..
That percussive(?) beat may work better not hitting every syllable, notable at “A highway stretches…”
I feel like there needs to be another voice random yellin’ random things like they do in Asleep at the Wheel. “Wah-haaaaaaa!” “Oh, that’s right!” “One more time, now!”
I want even more instruments where there’s “RED OCTAGONS!”… but we gotta… (red)stop(octagons)… at some point.
I feel like this song should bust out at a pub or party. I like how I want to scream RED OCTAGONS with you. I feel like one of those flailing-wailing tube men when that chorus comes in. Nice energy.
Maybe the lead-in to the chorus could be a bit more exciting. I really wanna build toward those octagons. Don’t… stop!
Solid mid-tier, if I had to rank. Nothing really stands out about it. Nothing really kills it, either. Definitely more good notes than bad. Production is great. I could listen to it again without dreading it. The vox having good controlled pitch helped, for sure. This voice would go over well time-and-time again with kids.
Rhymes are cute and fun.
Yeah, this should be on a kids album.
My younger kids would love this.
The Dreams Corporation - Tesseracts (Shoreman’s Room) [SHADOW]
First Thoughts: Oh, YOU AGAIN. You sound a li’l like Burial “Fostercare” at the beginning here. If you listen to that song… listen at that bass. You could totally do that. Maybe better! Lean into this dream vibe more. I enjoy what you do with it.
This is cool. Is this one of those commercials for an app that helps you sleep?
HAHAHA. You sample your own song.
I think instead of “My name’s Shoreman” it should be, “What’s my name?” haha and then you come in with, “(a grid of tesseracts)”… that’d be silly wordplay without being goofy.
I love this dreamy stuff. This reminds me of “The Great Below” (NIN) … also… kinda…
Is mass about to start?
Where’s my rosary?
I feel like some sexy lady is about to talk to me.
At about the 1:44 mark I want something new, musically.
Dude, you make cool sounding music. Your brain works like mine. I think “ideorrhea” is the term. If you can just get your lyrics to making some sense… lol. I mean, I can follow you, mostly.
2:27 OH, LAWD. Someone messed with the TV…
I bet you could actually use glitch or static synths there without the voices, and it’d sound cool.
If you can get the funny boogers outta your pantaloons, structure a song legitimately without a giggle (I know it’s hard haha), I bet you could win one of these. I mean it, man. I love the way this sounds… it’s when you come in with the sillies, I lose you… only sometimes… ‘cause I’m silly too.
Given your genre, you’re probably gonna get polarizing results in most competitions you enter, but please know I think your mind is going cool places. Expand on this ethereal stuff.
Read more poetry. If you added some philosophical/literary type echoes to your work… I think you’d even get monks to mumble about it.
Does this need to be 4:36? lol Okay, yes probably. Learn to cut darlings.
Again, the sounds you create—I think “how in the boogers did he do that?”
You could easily do score work, if you got serious about it.
P.S. Came back to tell you this one also reminded me of some airy vibes in Primal Scream’s “Higher Than the Sun”… I love that song. Check it out.
Nice low register. This voice has a lot of potential. Needs rhythm work.
Pacing is off in a lot of places. The sung lyrics don’t flow well with the music. Lots of vocal stumbling. Invest in a metronome, if not already. This is easy to improve with practice. :)
One of the more creative choices for the round regarding the shape.
I feel barely any emotion in this. It’s like the folk song version of the Clear Eyes commercial. Still a nice voice. I want Pooh bear to hug me, or something.
With the right guitar and rhythm practice, this could be improved significantly. Learn more pickin’ patterns… riffs… chords. Without a band accompaniment, I noticed repetition here more.
The vox has a nice Johnny Cash register. Once you learn proper rhythm and inflection, you could be in that camp. You gotta learn rhythm, though. And get a new pedal. Or just play acoustic… maybe with a mandolinist. Honestly, I think an acoustic guitar would suit your voice a lot better. But—do what brings you joy.
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