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Saturday, April 28, 2018

ST14R2 Reviews - Dave Leigh

The songs are written, time to judge! Here was the challenge:
Previously on...: Choose a famous song. It must have appeared on a Billboard Top 100 list. Now write a song that is a prequel to that famous song, such that the hit song appears to be an answer to your newly-created masterpiece.
So. Here are my preconceptions, and hopefully you'll have smashed some of them.

Obviously a prequel is written after the original work, but in this case we asked for something that appears to have been written first. Or as we put it, "... such that the hit song appears to be an answer...". So I expected that this would put a bit of constraint on the nature of the songs that are submitted. For instance, in borrowing style, structure, or motifs from the original, the ideal entry would have to be very clever about it so it appears the original artist borrowed from you.

As to what "an answer" is, that's a bit vague, and there are a number of ways to do it. It could be a literal answer, or it could be something a lot more subtle, such as the appearance of having been inspired by your work. The specific nature of the connection is left up to the songwriter.

I felt that a reasonable approach to judging would be to listen to each entry followed immediately by listening to the original work. That should help me determine whether something felt like a prequel. I considered the whether source material contained some allusion that could reasonably be explained in a prequel. I looked for connections that were solid, and then for songcraft and finally, production. And, of course, I'm biased by personal preference.

In reading through my opinions, I realize that some of them sound harsh. I'm not changing them... but I'd like you to know that you should preface each one with the understanding that having competed here myself, I'm aware of the pressures and pitfalls involved. I have utmost respect for the work even when it's followed by some honest and (hopefully) constructive criticism.

One last thing: I'm presenting my reviews in ranked order here, but my rankings will only be used for the totals if I have to fill in for one of the regular judges.


Micah Sommersmith - You Know About Me
Prequel to: "Irreplaceable" by Beyonce
He was SO damn wrong.

Bubba and the No Longer Amiable Kraken - I Want You for the First Time 
Prequel to: "I Want You Back" by the Jackson 5
Looking at the source material, you get to see first-hand how frickin' talented the Jackson 5 were. Day-um. That's why I'm glad that you and your grumpy aquatic partner didn't set out to duplicate their sound, but rather evoke it. I like this... definitely a top contender IMHO. It sounds Motown enough that I can imagine the J5 extending it and making it their own. And that's what we're looking for in this challenge.

Jordan Carroll - When Will I Give You Up 

Prequel to: Rick Astley's Never Gonna Give You Up
GREAT move getting a female vocalist for this. And the 80s production is spot on. This surprised me a lot for something that's basically just a lyrical answer to Astley's title. As I said in the listening party, we've been Car-rolled. And that IS now a thing.

Temnere - Eschelon 
Prequel to: "Somebody's Watching Me" by Rockwell
I like that you tackle this challenge by casting yourselves as the stalker. This is a great hook to inspire another artist. No attempt is made to evoke Rockwell's sound, nor do I think it necessary here. I could definitely see someone listening to this song and then writing a paranoid response. The hard rock sound is distinctive and welcome.

Riker's Island - We Decide 
Prequel to: "The Way" by Fastball
I'm surprising myself with the ranking here, and I'll just be honest and tell you that I'm not thrilled with the production. I'm not really thrilled with the tune itself, either. It's a bit too mellow and "level" in comparison to the source material. HOWEVER, this is a song writing competition, and the songwriting here impressed the hell out of me. Because of this: YOU'RE TELLING THE SAME STORY. Yeah, it's shifted in time a little, but I don't think that's necessary at all. The shift of POV does it all. What you did is tell the story of this couple in first person, then Fastball comes along and tells it from the outside. And this is where I have to give what's going to sound like the most backhanded compliment I've ever given, but I mean this sincerely... it feels perfectly reasonable to me that Fastball could listen to a song like this and conclude that they could tell the story better, and then do it. Which makes this a bloody brilliant answer to the challenge that you were given. If that wasn't deliberate, then please don't disabuse me of my illusions.

ShyFox - Miss Sunshine 
Prequel to: "Mr. Brightside" by The Killers
Looking at the official video of "Mr. Brightside", all I could think was how much The Killers looked like the house band at a party thrown by Frankenfurter. And that's apropos, because this song fits right in. I like almost everything about it, with the comment that the mix could have been a little hotter.

Megalodon - Try It Once Jack 
Prequel To: "Do It Again" by Steely Dan
Megalodon picked a high bar. Steely Dan's music is more distinctive for its sound than anything else. Fortunately, Megalodon is passably close to Steely Dan's style... particular vocally, though it could use some pitch-correction. The biggest drawback to this entry is the source material, I think. The verses of "Do It Again" set up the chorus sufficiently that the song doesn't feel like it's in response to much else. So, to me, "Try It Once Jack" doesn't sound like a direct prequel. More like just a different Steely Dan song, but one which could serve as inspiration.

Boy on the Wall - Today 
Prequel to: "Yesterday" by the Beatles
A fun song that feels more of a "future history" than a prequel, and I'm not sure if I can explain the distinction. This what I'd expect from a comedic take on the challenge. You decided on some choice source material, as the "I said something wrong" line in "Yesterday" cries out for explanation, which you do provide. And it made me smile that you used "The Newlywed Game" as a call back (forward?) to the line "Love was such an easy game to play". That said, it really doesn't feel like this song would really inspire or be answered by "Yesterday".  The acoustic chords at the end were a nice touch, but felt a little out of place with the rest of the song, making it feel as though you were borrowing them, rather than lending them. Overall, I enjoyed it.

Edric Haleen - Sam: The Sentient SMSC 
Prequel to: "Word Crimes" by Weird Al Yankovik
I'm going to get really nitpicky on this one, because I know you can take it. I actually like the song. My problem with it is the ending, and the reason is the challenge. We tasked you to write a prequel; that is, a song that was written first. "...such that the hit song appears to be an answer to your newly-created masterpiece," is how we phrased it. You delivered an extended introduction; a song that is played first temporally, but is constructed to appear as one piece. It's a very smooth introduction, and flows directly into the Weird Al number. But that's a big issue for me. You see, to be an answer, Weird Al would have had to make that transition. But Weird Al didn't write "Blurred Lines", which is where the closing bars of your song were ultimately pulled from. So it gets sort of convoluted for me to imagine Edric borrowing some bars from Robin Thicke, whose song was used by Weird Al to write a response to the lyrics of the song by Edric that borrows from the same source material by Robin. It pulls me out of the moment. In the alternate world where Robin Thicke doesn't exist (which you might prefer) it might make more sense. In any event, I think it got boxed in by distracting technicalities that causes it to suffer a little in my rankings. 
ALL THAT SAID... the rap is brilliant. I'm not sure everybody is aware of just how awesome the flow actually is, and how much of the cleverness is lost when you don't read along with the lyrics, which are written in text abbreviations ("4 h4x0r 5p34k1n6 1337"!!). And that final text (a real one as revealed in your song bio) is enough by itself to make anybody throw up his hands and shout "Everybody shut up!"

Glen Raphael - Do Ya Mess Around With Jim? 
Prequel to: "You Don't Mess Around with Jim" by Jim Croce
This was a GREAT choice of source material. Some days if I squint my ears, I can definitely hear the similarity between Jim's vocals and yours, Glen. This wasn't one of those days. That's a bit of a shame, because I think you could've leveraged it. The thing here, I think, is that Croce's song is a story that picks up with the arrival of Willy after having lost all his money. Now, I think that the natural question is, "how did he lose all that money?" IOW, it begs for another story. But you didn't go there and instead hung the song on the title. Because of that, the song falls short as a prequel for me. And I know you're a great storyteller, so sadly, this isn't going to rank as high as it probably should.
P.S. I can totally squint my ears. It's a gift. 

Governing Dynamics - Disassembly 
Prequel to: "Criminal" by Fiona Apple
I'm glad we asked for the source material. I'd've never guessed this one. Not that I'm required to. I should just be able to listen to both songs and see that the commercial song could have been written in response to this entry. When I listen to these two songs, I imagine "Disassembly" as the sequel. When I read the lyrics, I can work it out intellectually, but then I still feel like this is a sequel. My fault.

"Buckethat" Bobby Matheson - Me or Jessie 
Prequel to: "Jessie's Girl" by Rick Springfield (since ITC didn't appear on a billboard)
I'm not going to ding you on production, Bobby. I'm not even sure I should ding you on the minor plot point of "'cause I saw her first" vs "why can't I find a woman like that". Fact is, I'm confused for reasons I can't define, although it does sound to me as if it could inspire a song like Springfield's even if it has a few glitches as a "prequel". Surely this deserves a higher ranking, but I've also said that of other entries. Then I run into physics and the problem of occupying the same space at the same time...

Rob From Amersfoort - Have I Seen You Before? 
Prequel to: "Luka" by Suzanne Vega
I have to be honest here: the robotic hits on the quarter notes get really monotonous to me. In the last round it was broken up in the chorus, but here it goes straight through. I'd like a bit more variety. Lyrically, it does tie into Luka as a Q&A, but I'm not really feeling it as an inspiration for the Suzanne Vega song. 
Nitpick: glass to the wall? She's upstairs! ;)


SHADOWS:


Ominous Ride - Bohemian Burden (SHADOW) 
Prequel to: "Bohemian Rhapsody" by Queen
Nailed it. I like that you deviated from Queen's structure one you got to the Kid's lines (at this point the song sounded very Pink Floyd-ish to me). It's so easy to fall into parody with this song, and you avoided that. Well done.

Megalodon - 49 Ways (SHADOW) 
Prequel to: "Fifty Ways to Leave Your Lover" by Paul Simon
A bit too on the nose. You submitted the right official entry.

Menage a Tune - I Needed You (SHADOW) 
Prequel to: "You Needed Me" by Anne Murray
Great vocals. Veers into church after the first chorus, which isn't a bad thing. I can see this easily being presented as a Christian rock song. Although it meets the challenge, I think it works just fine as a standalone number.

Matchy Matchy - I Think You're OK (SHADOW) 
Prequel to: "I Think I Love You" by the Partridge Family
"YOU WANT HARPSICHORD? I GOT YOUR HARPSICHORD RIGHT HERE!" The opening bars were so over-the-top that it had me rolling, and I hope that was the intent. Nails the Partridge production values. Great stuff. As for the challenge, are you sure you read it? I'm not sure you did. It's "prequel", not "parody".

Dr. Lindyke - Empty Room (SHADOW) 
Prequel to: "I'm Still Standing" by Elton John
This is as much therapy as an answer to the challenge, and I'll just leave it at that.

Menage a Tune - The Lion Eats Today (SHADOW) 
Prequel to: "The Lion Sleeps Tonight"
Needs work, and I say that knowing it was rushed. I don't make it a secret that my favorite album is by Lebo M, so I love the genre of African music. Typically, with this genre, there will be a chant underpinning the entire song and then vocals layered over the chant. I would suggest slowing this down a lot and breaking it out that way, layering one set of vocals on top of the other, keeping it all more rhythmic than what we find here. I can pick out what should be maybe four layers of vocals here, strung together instead of layered. You'd be shocked at the difference.

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