- Respect to ALL; it’s been said often before, but they very fact that you all submitted something to this contest is an achievement, and the fact that they’re all GOOD somethings is even better. Keep on doing it.
- My tastes are my tastes, it’s all subjective, etc., i.e. nothing personal, really. I tried to listen to everything with clean ears, and came away quite enjoying things I didn’t think I’d like, a testament to how good y’all are.
- I assigned points on a 10-point scale, with ½-point increments.
- A lot of the stuff in the 7-8 points range is very close for me. I had to think a bit about what order to put some of these in.
- You automatically got a ½-point boost for NOT writing about a dog or cat. Nothing against our furry friends, but I was looking for songs to stand outside the pack (er, so to speak). My litterbox floweth over.
Performer: Temnere
Title: Domesticity
Animal: Cat
Yeah, Metal!! Catchy as fuck, too. The only thing I could have asked for is that classic helium-high vocalist to put it over the top; that said, everything else is awesome: writing (a metal ode to lost domesticity? Brilliant.), production and performance. Love the tapping in the guitar solo. When they inevitably remake Thundercats, they should give you a call.
Ranking: 1 Points: 9.0
Performer: Governing Dynamics
Title: Boop
Animal: Cat, probably? Dog, maybe?
Rhyming off "excite" is bit cheeky, but the lyrics are very well-done and funny. Nice tune, well-arranged and played. The vocals are a bit Wayne Coyne-ish, which helps make the lyrics funnier. A winner.
Ranking: 2 Points: 8.5
Performer: Bubba and the No-Longer Amiable Kraken
Title: Floating By
Animal: Goldfish
Like the chorus tune and the changeup in production voice. Nice harmonies. Both funny and melancholy, not an easy trick. Chorus hook is great, songcraft solid. My kinda song, would listen to again.
Ranking: 3 Points: 8.0
Performer: Glen Raphael
Title: Lazy Sunday
Animal: Cat
Nice acoustic feel. Strong melody. Like the harmonizing in second verse. Well-performed and gentle, very likable. Lyrics are very evocative. Just a well-constructed song, fancy that!
Ranking: 4 Points: 8.0
Performer: Boy on the Wall
Title: Amelia, What Are You Thinking?
Animal: Cat
Really well written, arranged and performed. Vaguely 80's-ish, like Cure-light. The bridge could use another pass on the vocals, maybe. Ends a bit abruptly? Overall, really well done; had me tapping my feet.
Ranking: 5 Points: 8.0
Performer: Megalodon
Title: Dignified Leisure
Animal: Turtle
Perfectly fine. The guitar work is tasty. I was excited to see a non-cat on the list, but the song itself is more straightforward than I would have hoped. You pick up a bit of steam in the end with a more filled-out arrangement. That and the smart lyrics upgrades you a notch in my book. Ranking: 6 Points: 8.0
Performer: Micah Sommersmith
Title: Our Arrangement
Animal: Chicken
Clever; thought it was about a dog at first. Tune doesn't grab me in the verse, but good arrangement. The chorus is stronger. Second tune I heard here to use the "telegraph the obvious rhyme but don't use it" trope, yuk yuk. Vocals a bit dry. Lyrics very clever, almost wish there was a more overt reference to the chicken getting eaten in the end, but on second thought the subtlety is probably better. Upped a notch for tastefully strategic squeezebox/accordian (or reasonable simulacrum) usage.
Ranking: 7 Points: 7.5
Performer: Ominous Ride
Title: Marco Polo
Animal: Cat
Very interesting; for some reason I hear this as a Fine Young Cannibals demo. Has a solid 80's vibe, tuneful, a bit more intense than I would have expected, but that's not bad. Cool organ solo! Gets its hook in me more on the second listen.
Ranking: 8 Points: 7.5
Performer: Rob from Amersfoort
Title: You're So Fab
Animal: Dog
Rob, baby, I love ya. There's something about your post-psychedelic pop-techno that really appeals to me, so I always like hearing what you've submitted. That said, your hook didn’t grab me as immediately as it has in the past; I think your verse is stronger. Well-recorded, as usual. The lyrics are simple but match the mood of the music.
Ranking: 9 Points: 7.5
Performer: Edric Haleen
Title: Bitch
Animal: Dog
The music builds well, the singing is great, very tuneful. It seems to end abruptly, I was looking for a bigger sell at the end, though the final rhyme is clever in that you turn it back to a humorously mundane situation right when it could start getting mawkish. Excellent balance of believable frustration and loving exasperation, though more hints of true affection would help balance things for me.
Ranking: 10 Points: 7.5
Performer: Riker's Island
Title: Amy
Animal: Cat
Very sweet. The violin adds some tasteful musical flavor to augment the straightforward guitar-and-vocals. Almost missed the "puked in my shoe", which is a funny bit. The tone is wistful, a bit Elliot Smith, perhaps? A nice miniature, perfect for the subject.
Ranking: 11 Points: 7.5
Performer: Buckethat Bobby Matheson
Title: You Don't Do Anything But Drink
Animal: Chia Pet
A bit minimalist, but tuneful enough, if a bit repetitive. Clever. Well-performed. The chorus conceit is good. Mastered a bit soft? Ranking: 12 Points: 7.0
Performer: ShyFox
Title: My Homie
Animal: Rat
Points for stepping outside the acoustic guitar ballad mold and staying on beat with your rhymes. Cute lyrics; Logic's got nothing to worry about, but fun for what it is.
Ranking: 13 Points: 7.0
Performer: Heather Zink
Title: When She's Gone
Animal: Cat
Nice, but slight. Well-executed, but a bit samey. The Bill Withers cop at the end is a bit awkward. Lovely singing!
Ranking: 14 Points: 6.5
Performer: Menage a Tune
Title: Who needs an alarm clock
Animal: Dog? Cat?
Not sure of the animal? Probably dog. Joanne's singing is becoming more self-assured, which is good. Very sympathetic background, tuneful and tasteful. Well done! Generally could use a bit more oomph, especially in the singing. I like the harmonies in the end.
Ranking: 15 Points: 6.0
Performer: Jordan Carroll
Title: Unloved
Animal: Dog
Sounds a bit Ben Folds-y. Reading the background, I see what you're going for now, but it a bit plodding, somewhat monotonous. Performance and recording are fine. Wish there were some melodic variation.
Ranking: 16 Points: 5.0
Performer: Josh, Just Josh
Title: Best Friend
Animal: Dog
A bit Lou Reed-ish, but sweeter. The speak-sing is OK, but mic technique needs to improve. Very Monotonous. I like the garbage man line.
Ranking: 17 Points: 3.0
Shadows:
Performer: Matchy Matchy
Title: One of These Days
Animal: Dog
Goddammit, why wasn't this in the contest? Did you get eliminated for time? Easily a top 3 for me. I get a swoon-y Morrissey vibe from the song in general, with a hint of Bryan Ferry in the vocals, which plays perfectly against the lyrics. Seriously, any song with a chorus refrain of "Kill the Mailman"/"Fuck the Mailman" is A-OK in my book.
Ranking: Shadow Points: 9.0
Performer: PigFarmer Jr.
Title: Lazy Bitch
Animal: Bearded Dragon
"A fun little palate cleanser; wouldn't be surprised to hear it pop up as a bonus track on a Black Crowes CD single or something. Dammit, it WOULD be nice if she paid the rent one time!"
Ranking: Shadow Points: 7.5
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