ST17.2 Reviews and Rankings - Wil Whalen

Wil's Rankings:

Cavedwellers 1

Rackwagon 2

Sober 3 

Good Guy Sojabe 4

The Dutch Widows 5

Vom Vorton 6

Giraffes for Wings 7

Ominous Ride 8

Jon Porobil 9

EmKayDeeBee 10

Pigfarmer Jr 11

Also in Blue 12

Boy on the Wall 13

Dented Bento 14

Jealous Brother  15

See Man Ski 16

Night Sky 17

Keen Observer 18

Governing Dynamics 19

Lucky Witch 20

Regis Michelena 21

Hot Pink Halo 22

Melody Klein 23

David G Harrington 24

Hello again!  Sorry I didn’t write up the shadows, I ran out of time again this week!

Melody Klein

Having some thoughts about how much this meets the challenge.  While I can see an argument for this approach it feels more like in-universe fan fiction than anything meaningfully related to the story of the movie.  Admittedly, I’m not very familiar with the film but I don’t really get any sense of it’s story outside of a namedrop of Theodore/Samantha, just it’s world.   Musically it's similar (to my ears, anyway) to your last one, and I have similar issues with its repetitive/long nature.  I can’t really fault you for making songs that (I assume) fit genre convention but it drags on relisten.

David G Harrington

Again, not sure how much this is a retelling of a work of fiction as much as (well-trod, IMO) meta commentary on Star Trek as a series.  The character is too self aware to read as the real person you said you wanted to write about.  It's not a bad song though, the horns on the chorus sound great - the instrumental section/outro is also really enjoyable.  The whole vibe works, it's just conceptually a little basic and not really what I interpret the challenge to be.

See-Man-Ski

Overall, nice!  Name checking 'Shameless' in the chorus is maybe not the choice I'd make but I think it's a valid one - I just don't really like fourth wall winks or overt self reference, especially more than just in passing.  It did cue me in to what you were writing about without checking the bio, in fairness, but it hit me like a titular line in a movie and served more to push me away from the ‘world‘ of the song than pull me in.  I do think this one suits the challenge quite well, and the hooks are memorable.  Vocals get a little buried under the pre/chorus synth/bass effects.

Also in Blue

Hard to fault it technically or conceptually.  In theory I think it could be edited down some but looking through the lyrics there is not a ton of conceptual redundancy so maybe not!  Maybe some slight instrumentation additions (strings, light percussion?) as it progresses?    The bridge is a nice change of pace and tone but it does get monotonous.

Pigfarmer Jr

Nice chorus - phrasing is a little weird on the first 'hand of justice' but sounds better on the later iterations.   Definitely in line with the challenge, I appreciate it being something I am familiar with (but that’s mostly on me I guess…)  The abrupt ending could work but it feels almost accidental.  I don’t think it would take more than a drum fill to drastically change how it feels.    

Dented bento

I like the chorus more than the verses - they don’t flow particularly well to my ears.  The bombasticity of the lyrics isn’t really matched by the instrumentation - I think it could have used a little more jaunt in it to sell the comic mood.  As it stands, it’s short and to the point and suits the challenge, I just wish it had some more pep.

The Dutch Widows

Direct, very rock-opera like. Almost too direct - could use some space for riffs or some non singing parts - just some breathing room for the story.  I think the dual voice stuff sounds good, though they are occasionally misaligned enough that they muddy the lines.  I like when it turns into the digital drums at the end - I feel like you could bring that aesthetic in earlier and play around with it for a while.  Now it kind of comes out of nowhere and is over basically as soon as it establishes itself.

EmKayDeeBee

From my notes document: “i would pay one million dollars for a full band to kick in.”  It’s a personal taste issue, but I do think it would sound great!  This has some good hooks, the ‘over and over’ bit at the top for me.  The bass drum was a bit subtle for me, I think you could either lose it entirely or establish a stronger beat.  There’s never really a time where it enhances anything, but there are times where it feels a little off and detracts.  I just wish it had more of a sense of escalation.

Sober

Another great entry. I think the 30 “bucks” version of the lyrics might even work better with the implied contemporization of the story, though “coins” certainly doesn’t detract.  Handful of lines good enough to build a whole song around.  Musically impeccable.  

Rackwagon

Great mood, good breathy vocals.   Night and day to last week’s entry on pretty much every level - clean composition, great performances, solid mix.  Glad you made it back, you clearly deserve it.

Jealous Brother

I think this one is over the top enough and a fresh enough angle that I am not as bothered by the referential nature (Steven Tyler's daughters dad line may be a bridge too far, but rhythmically it works well and doesn’t feel forced so what do I know!)  A few lines I'm not crazy about aside, it's a good time and I appreciate how (and hell, just that) the premise evolves.   Clean production once again, vocals could be a twinge louder and brighter.

Vom Vorton

It’s a good tune!  I have quibbles with a few minor details (using ‘slimy creature’ twice in different lines feels a little lazy, rhythmic timing on ‘what the hell are you’ could fit the meter/lead guitar line better) but overall it hits a good stride and never feels boring.  +10 million points for not using animal baby talk cadence to sing from cats-eye-view - a few lines feel a little ‘omniscient narrator’, but it’s easy to forgive from such a foreign perspective. 

Hot Pink Halo

Good vocal performance, mostly - I think there are a handful of lines that would benefit from another take.   The timing could be tighter on a few things, really - it sticks out more when things don’t line up juuuust right because the arrangement is so minimal.  I think the skeleton of the song is fine but the execution could be stronger.

Good Guy Sojabe

Just really good!  Well realized, referential to the material, great production and performances.  But!  A little light on retelling any particular narrative, more about the concept of Alfred’s relationship to Batman in general.  

Regis Michelena

Completes the challenge quite directly, keeping it confined to the single scene works well.  I didn’t really gel with the music, and feel the vocals don’t integrate well - overall it felt like a karaoke version of a song.  Maybe it’s the organ tone?  Even though I can hear the guitars it just feels like a midi track.  The parts with the lead guitar do sound better, though it’s a little quiet and could be brighter - it sounds like the amp is far away from the mic or something.

Cavedwellers

Nice build, good chill arrangement.  Good solo too, maybe a little dissonant conceptually  compared to the relatively straightforward feel of the rest of the song, but I’m just looking for anything to say but “I LIKE IT!!!”.  Everything flows well, just a great listen.  Oh baby that ending.  

Keen Observer

My main gripe with this song is that everything is too busy at the same time.  I don’t mind a busy drum part or bassline but it’s hard to latch on to anything because everythings just moving all the time.  The chorus strikes some nice tones but is still hard to get a grip on between.  I did acclimate over listens, in fairness, but it’s hard to really recall it when it’s not on.

Governing Dynamics

Fits the tone of Scott Pilgrim well and crams in a lot of lore, but the production leaves some to be desired.  Drums end up pretty buried in the mix.  Really it’s hard to evaluate beyond that - I feel it would change the feel of the song drastically with a strong bass and snare.  I’m getting plenty of cymbal and it kinda makes the whole thing float around formlessly not having the rest of the kit audible.  Guitar and bass tone and performances are both good but need that rhythm to shine.

Giraffes for Wings

The instrumentation is deceptively simple sounding, and sounds great.  Only on multiple relistens did I catch on to the number of little soundscapes going on.  I do have… not a complaint necessarily, but I don’t really know what ‘arms long as life’ is trying to describe.  Is it something from the book?  Really nice work. 

Ominous Ride

A bit monotonous and the production/arrangement could be a bit more varied, but the high effort iambic pentameter lyrics more than make up for it.  The song does develop some but we’ve basically reached maximum instrumentation by 1:30 in.  I do think moving out of the ABAB schema for a section, maybe a bridge or something, would be welcomed and break up the song a bit.

Night Sky

It does work well in satisfying the challenge almost to a fault - the retelling feels dry.  The horns, and hell the whole track, sounds great.  That said, while the music feels polished, it never really hooks me.  The vocals start to get lost as the sound develops.

Boy on the Wall

I think the drums could hit a little harder to strengthen that 90s pop punk sound, as well as bumping the tempo maybe 10-15 bpm.  That echo on the chorus is amusing but I think it’s more silly than anything else - is it in reference to something specific?  I’m having trouble placing it in the sound.  I do like the conceit and think it suits the challenge well, and overall the execution is strong.

Jon Porobil

Good - consistent point of view, clever lyrics and really solid impressions to boot.  Chorus build up was really nice as well, good structure.  This feels like something that could have come from Futurama, or some alternate world Futurama that does as many songs as The Simpsons, at least.

Lucky Witch

Moody and specific -  I think your sound is just intrinsically kinda spooky, and I wish I knew enough about theory to know/express why.  The beat gets a little mushy in the middle section of the song as more key elements are added, but never completely drops away.   Vocal performance is good - the chorus hook is also nice but I think it could be musically more different than the other parts.  Suffers from a bit of monotony.