Here are your rankings from Valerie Polichar:
Read on for Valerie's reviews!
General note: I enjoyed listening to these, and FWIW I spent about a half an hour on each track. Because this contest emphasizes songwriting, I used a weighted rubric where lyrics and music (melody/chords) were each weighted more heavily than theme, arrangement, production and performance. N.B.: As always with critical comment, if any of this stings, I recommend putting it away for a few months, and looking at it again to see if there’s anything in there that you can use.
▷ - Rain
Production is deliberate and effective. I like the way the vocals move to the forefront and to the background in different parts of the song; that, combined with the varying density of sounds, gives the song shape, something I am always looking for. The bleep-bloops and general rain sounds that you have created musically sound lovely and also rain-like! The structure of the song, with distinct sections with different textures and volumes, is great; the variation makes the song interesting to listen to, even if it's not "catchy" in the conventional sense. The sung melody doesn't really vary much, except on the "pre-drop" section, and the delivery is a bit mechanical (though it kind of sounds like Brian Eno, using the voice as an instrument). The quality of the vocals seems lower than that of the rest of the production — not talking about the skill of the vocalist but the quality of the recording, here. Lyrically, there isn't much to this: the song says "I like rain." Exploring what it is about rain that makes it so emotionally resonant for the singer would strengthen the lyrics.
Falcon Artist - The Sun
The vocalist has a pleasing voice (I'd have liked to hear it more at the forefront, with the guitar softer). The song's essential message is too slight to sustain the length of the song. The lyrics have a few appealing lines ("Hip hip hooray, here comes the sun!" is a fun one), but the themes are repetitive. The off-key guitar, whether a choice or an accident, is unfortunately a drawback. The monotony of the strumming alongside what at first appears to be a droning voice make the song wear poorly; simply making a decision to do single strums during one section, and/or shift the emphasis or beat during places where the melody changes, would give the song a bit more shape, and we'd hear the changes in the melody better, meaning it would pull the listener along more rather than tiring the ear.
Joy Sitler - Parade
The music is very catchy; the way the verse melody turns in tight circles while the accompanying chords change is very pleasant. The guitar is excellent, and the soft entrance of the bass and gradual other instruments adds depth to the sound, as does the build to increased vocal lines — though you could probably add some true harmonies, too, to that last "So I go to my window" section. Good drop-down for that last verse. The lyrics are generally clever and make a connection to the listener, and mid-line rhyming like "talk"/"walk" appeal, though there are times you lean on hackneyed phrases like "I've got issues," "nervous wreck" and "fighting demons." Since you are already very deliberately employing "rain on my parade," it would be best to make this the only such phrase in the song. The chorus melody is less original-sounding than the verses; it might want a little variation.
The Pannacotta Army - A New Low
Nice beat and lovely harmonies. The gentle music contrasts nicely with the pessimistic lyrics, and the lyrics themselves employ some clever plays on words/concepts, including in the title. Excellent use of the theme beyond the obvious. The drop to bridge around 2:20 works well, giving a nice pause to prevent the song from getting too "samey." The song's the right length, and the instrumental outro is a great choice. However, the general bassiness of the sound and the prominence of the percussion is hard on the ears after a while. I don't love the "down"/"found" rhyme at the end, but that's a minor quibble.
Cheslain - And The Rain Came Pouring Down
This is masterfully arranged. The shift in instrumentation with the second verse is something I'd like to see more of in contest entries. The harmonies work well on the chorus, and vocals and instruments are well executed. Musically, the song is excellent. The overall impact is professional and listenable. Lyrically the song is weaker. The song would be more powerful if it didn't lean on unnatural sentence structure, such as "dread in the air for those who do not soil their hand" and "you will see someone in my stead," or excessively formal, "poetic" phrases, such as "weep upon us, dear sky." It's a bit difficult to identify the central message of the song. With all that said, though, the simplicity of the lyrics on the chorus works well.
See-Man-Ski - Popcorn Brain
The lyrics are strong, and work well generally with the music in conveying the "popcorn brain" feeling. The alignment with the "weather" theme, frankly, is nebulous at best — it’s kind of a leap from "popcorn" to "rain". A different word than "shrouded" might be worth exploring — it jars a bit coming after the concept of "popcorn." The music is catchy and (appropriately) bouncy. There's something not quite pulled together about the arrangement/production — the guitar is sitting far out in front, the lead vocal seems muffled, the background vocal isn't tight and sounds like it has a different treatment (it actually sounds more clear, or at least more treble-y, than the lead!). I think a tighter background/lead voc sync would sound better. You may be trying for a loose, folk-y feel but it's not loose enough to sound intentional and it's too loose to punch. When you drop down to mostly-vox towards the end, the sync issue and the difference in treatment make it particularly hard to listen to (I think it might be worth slightly correcting the pitchiness of the lead vox here, as well), and this could be one of your most effective sections with a bit more care.
Stacking Theory - Mordialloc Beach (when the wind is right)
Absolutely love the throbbing bass/deedle-deedle guitar start. The single strums at the start of the lines of the second verse are also great. Paired with the drums, there's a building sense of movement here that leads nicely into the chorus, and the kite feeling is carried by your music. The lyrics on the verses and chorus work well, if a bit light on the "weather" theme (but you got it sufficiently in there). However, I found the synth vocal patch on the bridge a little hokey — and since the bridge lyrics are also just a little hokey (that's fair, what's a bridge for otherwise? ;-) ), the "choir" background pushes it over the top. With lyrics like that bridge, you need to be careful about delivery so as not to make your listener feel lectured to. The outro is a great sound, though it's very different from the rest of the song and I almost want you to save it for another track; at least, consider not holding "all right" at the end in that way. Big note: the rest of the song is instrumented and arranged so smoothly that the overdriven sound of the vocals is very jarring/unpleasant. Consider backing off the mic and putting a richer production on the vocals, which could be done with a mixture of EQ and FX.
The Moon Bureau - Sweater Weather
Great '80s feel (I'm sure I won't be the only listener to think of The Smiths, among others). And who can't love a song about a cardigan? The lyrics are mostly very strong — the imperfect rhyming doesn't bother me here. (You could find a better line than "Just as pretty as you please," though.) The music is catchy and the arrangement effective. The brevity of the song matches well with the brevity of the lyrical story: perfection, a song that is exactly the right length! The high guitar that comes in at 0:52 could use some EQ work or alternate FX; it's almost painfully piercing, and it's such a pretty little flourish that I want to enjoy it. It's also panned very hard left (and another guitar is panned very hard right); pulling them both closer to the center would maximize the live-band feel of the song, making it sound more natural, which would be a plus in this particular track. But all in all, this song is catchy as heck.
Giraffes for Wings - Impact Winter
The instrumentation suits the "political" nature of the song, and the intent is an interesting story with a fresh angle. The lyrics let this down a little. Beware of phrases like "his stupid kids;" they lack power and feel lyrically lazy. . The song's brevity is unusual in a song in this genre — you have room to stretch it out a bit and make more of a clear connection between the Representative's death and your mother's avowed preferred suicide method. And that's needed. The story isn't really complete here. We should not need an intro to make sense of the song or the connection between your mother and Jackie's death. Pulling the irony/parallel into sharper focus would make the song stronger. The rhythmic thump on every beat is hard on the ear, and the crowd effect on the vocals is interesting at first and then wearing. The melody isn't strong, tending to move in the same direction on every line. Although a song in this genre doesn't need a lot of shape, it could be benefited by creating a build (adding in instruments or additional voices gradually) or a drop (suddenly pulling a lot of instruments or voices for increased impact). The same-i-ness that dominates here means the listener quickly tires of certain instruments or vocal approaches. Adding shape would allow you to carry the song on for longer, too, and fit in more story.
Berkeley Social Scene - Waterspout
Love the intro lick. The guitars sound good and overall, the song moves well. The melody on the verses is particularly original and appealing. Nice guitar solo. Song feels like the right length and the right amount of lyrics, and the structure, with the bridge towards the end, is well chosen. Vocalist almost gives a Cinerama/David Gedge feel. Lyrics are generally well crafted, with strong lines like "I got a little tension released from your reaction" and "You never fail to mention that you were offended / I think I rowed my boat too close and got upended," but there are a few awkward and nearly nonsensical phrases inserted, presumably, for rhyme's sake, such as "feel dumb as I’m dumbfound" and "I’m in these waters just trying to tread" that could use an edit or rethink. " "Just follow itsy spider" doesn't scan well, which catches the ear every time through the chorus, though I get the reference to the nursery rhyme. (But do you actually need that reference?) Note that the message of the song isn't entirely clear from the lyrics — the metaphor gets rather convoluted. The hard panning of the background vocals is distracting on the chorus (try keeping the direction of the pan but bringing it just a bit closer to center), and the left vocal in particular is very tinny and almost tickles the ear in an uncomfortable way, but the panning works really well and effectively on the bridge. Vox are generally so muffled that you can't hear the words, and they also get pushed into the background by the guitars. That's a shame; this song doesn't require that stylistic choice and would benefit from clearer vocals. Altogether, a lot of potential here that an edit of lyrics and mix would probably shape into a truly great tune.
Chamomileon - Sleet and Snow
Lyrics are strong and original, especially on the chorus, which is very clever and effective. You miss a couple opportunities to tie the experiences to the presumably-ending relationship, e.g. "Radio says it should get clearer/Can barely see, low visibility/So many people have slid off of the shoulders" which is ripe for analogy. The melody is very listenable and the music is well executed. The vocalist is talented, but the FX choice on the vocals could be better and the mix needs some work. The vocal and the bass sound very close (when you do that to vox, every tiny imperfection in the vocals gets magnified) and the vocal echo is very distant, and the rest is somewhere in the middle. To try: back down the echo to make it a little closer, and add a bit more reverb to pull the vocal out of the listener's face. That will actually make the vocal sound even higher quality. Reducing the bass volume would also ease the impact on the listener's ears while still keeping the vibe. This song really just needs some mix work — and possibly minor thought to what more could be done with the already good lyrics — to knock it out of the park.
Ironbark - I Am A Clear Blue Sky
Right out of the gate, the arrangement and rhythm choice is fresh and delightful. The piano is great. The introduction of the organ(?) pad in the chorus section adds some nice shape. Use of rests/drop to percussion after "i just want a reaction" is effective. Harmonies on "blameless/empty" are lovely. Lyrics work, and the light humor in lines like "but i'm not spanish, you explain/while washing several scenic hill-based dwellings down the drain" is welcome. Delivery is also good: the quick rhythm of that line followed by the stretched-out "I am a clear blue sky" is sophisticated and effective.
glennny - Psychotic Cyclone
Intro/outro riff is pretty (and deceptive) — that's sneaky — and it's good to call back to it, but you could give it more prominence and luster with volume and FX and it would be even more pleasing. The music is catchy, if a bit all over the place in genre. Solo is very pretty and a nice contrast. Lyrics do a good job of setting a scene and then creating a metaphor to a relationship. Nice use of the theme. The light-handed/flexible rhyme scheme is refreshing. Vox sound very muffled, which is probably intentional but clearing them -slightly- and bringing them forward a bit would not harm the style and make the lyrics easier to understand. The mix is muddy in spots.
Jeff Walker - And So It Begins
Great sound right out of the gate. You establish genre and then bring in the tropical note, a nice flavor. The last line of the chorus really tugs at the heart — a combo of your delivery, the melody, and the lyrics. The lyrics in general are effective and tight, but the bridge is less strong. If you're going to keep it, it would be helpful to alter the instrumentation a bit more than you do, so it's really a pause-and-think moment. Instruments are all played well, but a bit more variability in the drums could help accent some of the most interesting lyrical lines; as it is they get a bit dull and ponderous on the ear. Singer is good but a hair louder or more forward than they need to be. Bit more reverb might help, and maybe a slight cut in volume. That said, I loved the sound of this and this song really moved me.
West of Vine - Aeromancer
Some good lines here: the whole first verse, and "Sky the deepest shade of blue/Looking for one damn thing that's true" in particular. Starting with simpler instrumentation and bringing in more with the second verse works well. Weaker lyrics could use some tuning; e.g. "you called it treason" sounds like it was chosen more for the rhyme than the meaning. The melody feels derivative, like we've heard it before. There's something that doesn't quite gel about the mix. The percussion feels very treble-heavy and doesn't meld with the bass, and the vox, of pleasant quality but not always dead on key, could use a kinder treatment. The style change in the last section is effective, but the speed-up isn't necessary, and detracts. Unusually, this song is on the short side for what it has to say, and ends somewhat abruptly. Because of those elements, the song is harder to listen to than it should be, but there are good bones here.
Hot Pink Halo - Strange Attraction
Great concept, probably the best idea in the whole pack. These lyrics are fun, fresh and clever (though I am not catching the reason for the Taylor Swift callback). The melody feels original, and the move to broader instrumentation on the chorus works well. There's a sound reminiscent of Au Revoir Simone here, especially with the background vox (which could be a little louder). That Casiotone/vintage digital synth feel is good, but the drums become wearing and same-y after a while. Vocalist is a bit pitchy here and there; pitch correction on long-held notes and on the initial notes of a verse, while allowing the natural tune during the rest, would fix the jarring effect while retaining some character.
Temnere - Seeker Of The Storm
Vibrant metal sound with ripping drums that carry the sound forward effectively. The song is well constructed. While not particularly fresh/original, the melody benefits from the lift on phrases like "lands i ride." The musical interludes are well placed and very well executed, and the track is well paced. Production is great. The background vox that come in near the end are interesting and could be louder. The story behind the lyrics feels fresh, but the language feels stereotypical to the genre — breaking with the formal/old-fashioned construction common in metal could be worthwhile here, though in some ways the contrast between that slightly stilted language and the modern problem creates a link (drought has been with mankind forever). In the end, the story presented here is more than the sum of the words chosen to tell it. It's a strong composition with a novel concept and many good points, but the lyrics in particular let it down a bit — they could do more.
Hutch - Just Standin’ in the Rain
The fuzzy lead guitar is a good backdrop for the timbre of the vocalist. The melody is pleasant, though the chord progression isn't particularly novel and sometimes doesn't enhance the melody — it can be worth playing with some unexpected chords to see how they alter the feel of your melody. While the vocals are a little pitchy, it's an interesting voice; a bit of EQ work and a bit more reverb might make up for some of the imprecision and seat it better in the mix. The instruments are too far back in the mix and it doesn't quite gel. More concerningly, the lyrics seem hackneyed; we've heard them before, e.g. "I know you're gone again/And I'm wonderin' if this time it's for good," "When I first met you/The skies were always blue," "I'm left here just standin' in the rain." There are also a number of weak word choices for the sake of rhyme, like "you/blue," "grey/away," "true/blue," "pain/rain" where a different word choice could have been much more interesting. To write a song where the central concept is "you are gone and I'm sad now," at least in 2024, you will need to come up with some novel presentation or angle on it to make it work well. It's a solid central concept, it's just been done so many times that to stand out and make an emotional impact on your listener, you need something more.
The Dutch Widows - Cold, Hard Blackberry Winter
The song starts smartly with a great guitar riff. It's a good take on the theme and the lyrics are generally clever, but avoid tacking on phrases just to create a rhyme: "from what I know." feels extraneous every time it comes around, and "I only wish I’d just shut up" doesn't really make sense in context. The background vox that come in on the final verse are delightful, and could be employed earlier on for more shape and interest. The song is not well served by the vocal treatment, which muffles the lyrics and has a samey-ness throughout the song, especially given the low pitch and the . One approach would be to use the treatment on the verses and come out clearer and brighter on the chorus. The song in general comes across as low-energy, which the muted vocal delivery doesn't help, except for the word "blackberry" which tends to punch uncomfortably out of the song — the delivery comes across as though the singer has done a few too many takes and has lost the sense of the meaning of the words. The bridge is a great place to change up the instrumentation and the melody (and you do the latter); try doubling the length of it and mixing up the instrumentation a bit. There's potential here, but the song needs some variation that it lacks, and the delivery isn't what it could be.
chewmeupspitmeout - Hurricane
Vocal harmonies+organ dropping down to beeps/percussion/vox is very effective. There's a good sense of build here to the chorus. A bit of a Stanley Brinks feel to this. The mix of electronic and organic sounds is novel and works well, though more variation in the drum track within each section would be welcome. There's a good contrast between the textured lead vocal and the angelic harmony vox. The xylophone/vibes is a lovely add. There's not a lot of story here, though the "bridge" at the end is effective. The lyrics are a mix of fresh ("Atmosphere cracked/As you breezed into town" is terrific) and awkward (the "rhyme" of malaise/staid is acceptable, but you could pick a better phrase than "which had become staid"), but they do a good job of telling the story and tying into the weather theme and the song title. The mix could be improved. The percussion is very far up front and lacks bass. The vocals sound somewhat muffled on the chorus, possibly partly due to the multi-tracking? By making the vocal harmonies, a high point in general on the track, so consistently loud, you lose some of their potential impact. Not a huge amount happens in the melody, and the choice to put in just one "bridge," at the end, means the listener is really waiting for change. The brief bass (keys?) solo pulling into the final verse is a great choice, though.
Cybronica - Grey Skies
The vocalist is very gifted and the harmonies are striking. The flute creates a nice "response" to the sung melody. There are some lovely lyrics, e.g. "The atmosphere holds me here/A weighted blanket of mist," but also some rhymes that feel forced (e.g. "mist/dismissed"). There's a samey-ness here throughout that drags the song down. It is not just the arrangement and not just the melody, but both contribute to that downward pull. That beautiful voice singing the same motif over and over actually becomes wearing; varying with some lower-note sections would set it off more. The lyrics take just one slight detour: "I glimpse at last, the bluest sky/I laugh and kick my heels with joy" and then "the squall knocks me aside." More could be done with the weather metaphor here than the straight "miserable weather/miserable heart" parallel drawn here. If you wanted to revise the story, perhaps think about some options: the sun comes out but it doesn't help; or it keeps raining, but you begin to find comfort in it instead of despair. A shift to a major key (or a different minor key!) just briefly in the middle could also help provide some shape and interest. You've successfully transferred mood into music here, but turning that into a communication with the audience (or bringing that audience with you into the depths) may require something more.
The Alleviators - Fog
The lyrics are superb and moving. "I miss you when you drift/But when you're here I hurt the most...Stay as long as you want." The use of fog as metaphor for a lover is novel and effective. You might consider ending it, rather than on "seek fairer weather," on a reprise of that excruciating, beautiful "stay as long as you want." The music is lovely and well suited to the lyrics. The mix could be greatly improved with a couple of moves: (1) turn down that pretty lead guitar (and perhaps EQ it a hair less trebly), as it's nearly painful where it sits, and (2) make those gorgeous background vocals (sounds a bit like The XX) tight with the lead, or, more precisely, make the group vocals tight as tight can be. The sloppiness really detracts, partly because it muddles the already somewhat-muddled beat and partly because it muddies the words, and the words are the strongest part of this track. Consider NOT multi-tracking/having two vocalists on the verses so that you get more power from the group coming in more and more on each chorus. The percussion's rhythm is lovely with this track, but it incorrectly sounds like it's sloppy because the vocal alignment is sloppy. The excellent lyrics and the way the song is laid out make up for a lot of the mix/performance mess. All it needs is practice and re-recording to absolutely kill.
Winterloper - Frostbitten Hearts
The lounge tones and autotune-y sound on the vox works in this context. The drop-out for the bridge is a good choice. The lyrics are poetic and pleasant and address the theme appropriately (and choosing "frostbitten hearts" as a metaphor is fresh), but they seem like a vignette, rather than telling a story of having an arc. The downside of the overall sound on this is that it's so same-y that the song feels longer than it actually is. One approach would be to trim it; there's not enough going on in the lyrics from verse to chorus to verse to really justify keeping all of them.The arrangement/mix could use some work, too. The chorus needs some additional instrumentation so that the electric piano/organ chords don't sound so flat and percussive, and the drums seem a bit random (perhaps a few too many cymbal hits?) and lack depth. Could the bridge have even more of a change in sound? FWIW, because the overall treatment is so mellow and lounge-y, the lyrics don't hit with much emotional impact. Cutting the song's lyrics and providing more musical shape would let you keep the overall sound while providing more emotional impact and retain the listener's attention.
Boffo Yux Dudes - Weather The Storm
The drum intro is appealing and pulls the listener in. The lyrics are a nice twist on the usual, and the bridge provides both a musical and a lyrical shift, as it should. There's a late '60s/early '70s band sound here that is consistent. The abrupt ending is a good choice. The time signature on the bridge is effective as well. The melody, though, is just okay — bits of it sound tired, as if we've heard it before, and it's hard to discern on some of the lower parts. At the start of the song, the sudden onset of "the weather inside my head" from the full complement of vox is jarring; perhaps start at a lower volume or with fewer vox components. The lead vocal is not the strongest, and could maybe use the support of a fraction of pitch correction here and there (e.g. on "where you are"), some EQ to pull out the harshest tones, and perhaps some FX. But the vocal delivery is also a bit mechanical in sound in places, perhaps an overprecision of beat; a more relaxed delivery would help a lot. The mix is messy, with the instrumentation blurred, possibly by too much constant bass. Strong lyrics, but not quite enough musically or mix-wise to make the song punch out.
SunLite - Glass House
Great intro lick. Love the precision of the bass and guitar licks on the verses. The melody on the verses is strong (much less so on the chorus). The lyrics also are stronger on the verses than on the chorus, though the rhymes are clever. For a song that leans on precision (as the verses, in particular, of this one does), the vocals really need to be tight, both rhythmically and pitchwise, and the harmonies need to sync up perfectly. And the chorus also needs to be on key. This is the time to use some pitch correction. It's not off by much, but it's off by enough to undermine the effect, especially on the chorus. The choruses have a shaggy sound — it's good to contrast with the precision of the verses, but that is taken a bit too far. They're a bit of a mess musically; the sounds are all blurring together, especially towards the end of the song. The verses are great, but the chorus really lets down the song.
Governing Dynamics - Storm Over The Ocean
Intro riff is terrific and draws the listener in. Instrumentation in general is appealing and the drums keep the track moving, though it sounds like the drums get a bit messy (too much cymbal or hi-hat in places? It's hard to tell). There's some superb lyric lines in here, esp. "I've been listening for the wind/And the thunder close behind/Racing through the power lines" but also a few forced rhymes (e.g. ocean/notion, live/forgive) that weaken the lyrical impact. The vocals badly need to pop out more; they're buried in the mix. It's not just a matter of volume, it's an EQ and FX issue. They should punch, especially on the chorus. The fuzz of drums and maybe bass are just a muddle. The chorus itself is a little repetitive melodically; a bit more variation would make the song more interesting. (It's challenging to evaluate the melody on this track because it's all so buried, but it generally sounds pretty good, kind of like a Gin Blossoms song.) A shift in instrumentation on the bridge would make it pop more. The bones are here, but the lyrics need some editing and the melody may need a bit of thought to give it a more unique sound.
Menage a Tune - Wind and sand
The "desert storm" pun works, and ties into the weather theme. It's nice to see a less obvious application of that theme. Despite the claim of the "he" of the song that it's "just the sand," the lyrics are very sentimental and push a little too hard to make an emotional statement. The idea here might work if there was never an explicit reference to "the IEDs/or seeing friends go home/with pieces missing, or in body bags." Spelling it out by explaining it to the audience, in this case, does not allow the listener to draw the conclusion themselves, and that deprives them of the emotional impact of the song. The mix is awkward — the vocals are way up front and keys are in the background, but if you don't have a DAW, it's better to err on this side than having the vocals too soft; still, try recording with the microphone just a _bit_ closer to the piano or other instrument. The vocal range of the song seems like it's a bit below the singer’s comfortable range; the voice goes a little pitchy on the lowest notes. You could fix this with pitch correction in software, but you could also just transpose the song up a couple of notes.
Sober - Back in Texas
The lyrics do three things particularly well: (1) they are funny; (2) they rhyme cleverly (e.g. "Don’t take this the wrong way":"Over drive thru Chik Fil A"; and (3) they jump from light to serious on the final verse, which makes that last verse — nicely emphasized with the holds at the end of several lines — hit with greater impact and avoids anything maudlin or overwrought. The final two lines ("But until they welcome everyone/I’ll call the northeast home") proffer the perfect punch. The music is catchy, sitting well in its genre while not sounding hackneyed or over-familiar. The instrumentation and the light background vocals seem appropriate, and the lead vocal, while not particularly distinctive, is pleasant and clear. Fantastic example of a listenable, relatable song with a political message that sneaks up on the listener and hence is super effective.
Eric Baer - Weather Anomaly
The harmonies are well chosen, emphasizing the intriguing lyrics. There's a bit of a Paul Simon feel to this one. The melody/chord/harmony choices generally work well together, though the chorus melody is more lackluster. But the concept, so appealing at the beginning of the song, doesn't get followed through. We get that he's chased by a turbulent sky, but we're not so happy to end the song with no better idea of why this is happening to him than we were in the beginning. Even if he doesn't know, you should let the listener know, otherwise we feel let down; the song isn't leaving us with anything other than a momentary mystery about someone we don't know, and this style of song in particular wants a story. The presentation makes the most of minimal instrumentation and has a nice feel to it. But since the arrangement doesn't change throughout, the repetitive percussion, in particular, can wear on the ear.
Lucky Witch & the Righteous Ghost - Weather Song
Lyrically and conceptually strong. The omnichord lends an interesting sound reminiscent of the start of Tindersticks' "Hey Lucinda". Some of the choice of contrast between chord and melody, and of harmony, is quite interesting — but also bears too much similarity at various points to to Thompson Twins' "Hold Me Now" and The Hollies' "The Air That I Breathe"/Radiohead's "Creep," all of which makes the song sound less original. There are some execution problems. It appears that the lead vocals are not always perfectly on key. The harmony vocals are nice but far too loud. The drums and guitar sound muddied and too far in the background; if this is being recorded with a single microphone, the addition of a second mic would probably help. If it's already being recorded with two mics, think about their placement to make sure that the drums and guitar are in balance with the rest. Also, despite your note, it does sound like the lead vocalist is singing “nephrology” — watch that.
Ominous Ride - Nymphorainiac
Funny concept, amusingly executed with some clever rhymes (finish/diminished, breeze/knees/seized). Harmonies in spots like "wood" and "below" work well, as does the shifting time signature. The arrangement is fine for the content, but the sound is muffled/messy on the choruses ("Oh/Curse this ..." sections) There's a bit of instrument variation across the piece, but more would make the song more interesting to listen to. The song would be even funnier if it ended on some sort of twist, but it's just more of the same and then it stops, so perhaps think about what you could do with the last bit to really crack up your listener.
Dream Bells - Snowsong
The bell-like sonics and white noise do a nice job of conveying snow falling. Good idea to add instruments on the chorus, but consider changing up the percussion, which is very mechanical and a bit tinny throughout. The riff in between verses is quite lovely. The muted vocals contribute to the snowy feel, but you could get away with making them more clear on the chorus, and it would add some much-needed texture change without destroying your snowy feel. The melody doesn't have much to it, and the verse and chorus melodies are so similar that it feels repetitive. The bridge is somewhat of a lost opportunity to change the music up more, and the lyrics on the bridge don't tie effectively into the message of the rest of the song, which is a little thin as it is. The sound is very pretty and snowy, but ultimately that feels like all there is to it.
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