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Monday, March 25, 2024

ST22.1 Reviews and Rankings - Zoe Gray

Here are your rankings from Zoe Gray:

1Governing Dynamics
2Dream Bells
3Temnere
4Stacking Theory
5Sober
6The Alleviators
7The Pannacotta Army
8SunLite
9The Moon Bureau
10Joy Sitler
11Cheslain
12
13Eric Baer
14Winterloper
15Giraffes for Wings
16Berkeley Social Scene
17glennny
18The Dutch Widows
19Ominous Ride
20West of Vine
21See-Man-Ski
22Jeff Walker
23Boffo Yux Dudes
24Chamomileon
25Lucky Witch & the Righteous Ghost
26Cybronica
27Ironbark
28chewmeupspitmeout
29Menage a Tune
30Hot Pink Halo
31Falcon Artist
32Hutch

Read on for Zoe's reviews!

Y’all– everyone came in strong from the get-go this Spintunes. Boy, is it good to be back! I haven’t been able to really participate since I started university in 2019, but I’m well and truly graduated now and excited to be back with the community. It’s been 12 years, I believe, since I submitted my first shadow, and it’s thrilling to see how Spintunes has grown. This batch of songs was really incredible, and made listening to 32 weather-related entries a breeze (pun intended). I was especially pleased about how many different genres were represented here, from your good old-fashioned nerd rock to some banger country and metal and lo-fi entries. I endeavor, in any artistic critique, to focus on helping make the piece the best version of itself that it can be, not to judge it by the standards of the song/genre I wish it was. So, without further ado: some reviews!



▷ - Rain

My favorite thing about this piece is its arrangement. It has this psych-rock/lo-fi beat, evocative of something like Djo. I was waiting for the drop, and was not disappointed in its execution. The opening layered vocals are a nice touch– actually, the intro and outro are both very well arranged and orchestrated. This has a great surround-sound effect with harmonies. I also think, like you said in your bio, it was very well paced. No need to drag a theme out further than it wants to go. This song made me wish for a nice walk through a rainy Stardew Valley right about now.


As far as what needs a little work: I’d take some time to strengthen the vocals, especially on layered harmonies. If even one line is a little pitchy there, the tight stacking of the harmonies will make it all the more noticeable. I also have no qualm with the filter on the vocals, but the main melodic line is pushed a little far back and has a tendency to get a little swallowed up. As far as lyrics go, this is obviously a song more concerned with encompassing a listener in a sound/vibe than telling a story. I think it succeeds at that! (I’d certainly put this on a lo-fi study beats playlist.) But there could be opportunities here to, even in the pared down, simplistic lyrical vibe, experiment with what might make the world you’re evoking shine through the words, too.


Favorite lyric: “sometimes i wonder how the storm became my favorite sound”

Favorite moment: that 8-bit outro!



Falcon Artist - The Sun

This has the sort of retro brit-rock sound that you might find on a Wes Anderson soundtrack or lost Ringo Starr demo. It has an old soul, and I see and appreciate the folk influences! The strumming pattern keeps a nice forward momentum to the piece, and it especially felt like it was charging ahead when the vocals rose in “the country I live in” in the bridge, and at the end of the bridge when you come in with that D. I’d love to see more like that, both in terms of vocal variation and throwing us a chord every once in a while that surprises us/shifts attention.


I think it would help you out to tune the guitar up a bit, and to push the vocals more to the front in your mix. They’re getting a little muffled/lost behind the brightness of the guitar. Structurally, I’d love a little more variation. You could achieve this in the way I talked about above, or even just through switching up the strumming pattern at some point. Letting the guitar drop down/out at times, or picking it up even further; you can do this without changing the pace/tempo, and it’ll differentiate the choruses and verses when they’re melodically similar. 


In terms of lyrics: there’s an old adage that the specific is the general. If you want to make something that feels old, folksy, broadly applicable, you could turn to see some of the stuff that Bob Dylan does– or the Beatles, even! Throwing in a few details about, say, your little island, or the people with their suitcases, or how the sun feels on your skin– these might all give listeners a better glimpse into the world of your song. 


Favorite lyric: “So they board their planes, with their suitcase in their hands”

Favorite moment: Ascending vocal line on “The country I live in is cold”!



Joy Sitler - Parade

This is delightful! I can really dig the early aughts-ish indie rock vibe (The Fray, or, later, Pinegrove). The arrangement and structure of this really works for me: building up from the first verse, adding shakers and synths, then chorusing vocals and a brightening guitar. Until it all drops away for the last verse, which is immediately intimate again. It brings us along the story of the song so well. I always admire a song whose arrangement supports/is led by the story of its lyrics. The descending bassline in the guitar also keeps the energy up very nicely. This is well crafted and well executed; you’ve got some great instruments on your hands!


This sort of falls in the confessional realm, lyrically. The casual patter of it keeps it feeling like a conversation, and it works very well with your vocal timbre. I’m a huge fan of songs that center around a well-known idiom and put their own twist on it, and this does just that. Great job meeting the challenge in a fun and personal way. I honestly just could use more of this: the structure is such that it builds and builds to an intimate drop at the end, but through this we really only get four “sections”. I wouldn’t mind a couple more chorus-type returns to refrain, or even just one more at the end.


Favorite lyric: “‘Cause I’m scared to leave my house, but I’m also scared to be alone”

Favorite moments: The harmonies coming in on top of the stacked instruments on “So I go to my window”. 



The Pannacotta Army - A New Low

Wow, you’ve got a masterfully arranged band backing this. The drums work very well (steel drum?), and the tambourines brought a genuine smile to my face when they kicked in. The shimmer of the guitar keeps things like and smooth, and the beachy guitar riff playing around underneath the last stanza supports this. Your harmonies are spot-on, and I especially enjoy the way they fade in and out, surrounding and supporting the lead melodic line. This song just sounds damn great. There’s a fun level of irony/dissonance here, with a nearly Beach Boys-sounding chill-out sound accompanying cynical social critique. 


You’ve used the metaphor nicely here, and I wonder if, given that, you could burrow deeper into the political thought here. You’ve got space for it; the song wouldn’t hurt for one more verse. More on the puppet show? What’s the worst part about the shower? I wouldn’t mind more incision to the lyrics.


Favorite lyric: “Watching the well of human kindness as it becomes drier”

Favorite moment: Last two lines, with that slide guitar underscoring



Cheslain - And the Rain Came Pouring Down

This builds very nicely: it comes in strong right off the back with that riff, then supported by shakers and synths, then by the time the drums kick up we settle in, but we’re still waiting on the promise you absolutely deliver on in the chorus with those golden harmonies. The only thing that would help this is to tighten up the harmonies a little– I think they tend just the slightest bit flat? That sort of thing is more noticeable on stacked harmonies. It’s a great choice to kick that distorted electric in by the second chorus. 


This is one of my absolute favorites of the batch lyrically. There’s religious overtones and allegories mixed in with the imagery of the natural world. It seems political and symbolic, and it tells a story with just my taste in specificity vs. room for listener’s imagination. The world of this is also just especially easy to visualize. The plains, the prairies, the clay, the colors you paint.


Favorite lyric: Hard to pick just one, but probably “clouds are nomads on the prairie of the sky.”

Favorite moment: Drop in to the first chorus.



See-Man-Ski - Popcorn Brain

Ooh, a great example of arrangement supporting the content of the lyrics. The almost stop-and-go popcorn feeling in the instrumentation is there from the beginning, but is absolutely accentuated by the piano leading up to the chorus and the drums in the chorus. You’ve got a great thing going in the drums and piano especially, a sort of Ben Folds Five energy. You could bump the vocals up the eensiest bit further, or just pull that cymbal back in the mix so it doesn’t sing over your consonants. Nice harmonies, although the top one could be tightened up just a bit.


The breakdown with repeated “pop”s in various vocal lines while other lines echo the chorus phrases is a perfect reflection of your subject matter. As someone who’s learned a ton about neurodiversity in the past few years and become an artist who centers it in their work, this song really resonated with me content-wise. The whole metaphor of a “popcorn brain” is so apt! I honestly feel that, if this challenge weren’t weather related, you could take out the references to rain and burrow in deeper on the popcorn metaphor for a slightly more successful and focused theme. But I know we told you to do weather stuff, so.


Favorite lyric: “In my pop-pop-popcorn brain”!

Favorite moment: The scattered “pop”s in the bridge.



Stacking Theory - Mordialloc Beach (when the wind is right)

Loving the vastness of the synth bass; it anchors things underneath the guitar, which keeps rhythms. There’s an 80’s quality to the synths and guitars, poppy and shimmering, which is personally right up my alley. You built up the chorus excellently, and I was very moved by the backing vocals that kick in there. The distorted guitar that comes in in v2 keeps energy up! I think the only thing that keeps this feeling a little too long/stagnant at times is that the guitar and drums which keep the beat don’t ever vary too much in rhythmic pattern. But altogether, this song feels like a U2 classic, and the petering out of the ending is excellently executed.


I wound up coming back to this one in particular over and over again not only because of the beautiful and vast feeling of it, but because of the emotional core and lyricism. I’m such a fan of specificity in lyrics, and the refrain of “Mordialloc beach” itself anchors the song. The spoken section that we come into after the first chorus is a wonderful touch, and brings it in even closer to the listener in a way that feels personal and grounded. Kudos on tying in the challenge to something that feels like it really matters to you.


Favorite lyric: “Every sunset courts the horizon, and it brings me closer to you”

Favorite moment: Probably just the feeling of the chorus kicking in. You know you’ve done a killer job when the hook is still engaging the fifth time you hear the words.



The Moon Bureau - Sweater Weather

You’ve got a classic brit-rock thing reminiscent of The Smiths or The Cure (this is a huge compliment from me, and just my taste)– or, more recently, Tom Odell. I’m absolutely entranced by the shimmer filter on the vocals and guitar, and the riff that kicks in at the tail end of the first chorus feels like something off Disintegration. How you’ve managed to create a song that feels like I’ve known and loved it for decades already is beyond me. You’ve got a knack for crafting incredible fills and riffs. I’d encourage you to push the vocals a little further forward in the mix so they don’t get lost under the rhythm guitar, and I’d also love to see you commit vocally a little more. I think you can find more of a chest placement for the chorus vocals that will sell it and sound strong. 


Your lyrics are absolutely lovely. There’s several turns of phrase in here that are just a little off-center, a new way of looking at the subject matter as if from askance. That’s the perfect way to come at a simple idea. And the hook of sweater weather itself is going to stay in my head for a long time. This is a short song, but by god if it doesn’t feel like exactly the right length. The only thing that would make me ask for it to be longer is a full thirty-second riff before that last chorus, which I would happily eat up.


Favorite lyric: “heathered sleeves”

Favorite moment: That first fill right after “among the leaves.”


Giraffes for Wings - Impact Winter

This is another great example of a song whose genre and arrangement works excellently for the content. There’s midwest emo influences in the messy layered vocals, a sort of half-singing, half-shouting from the sheer desperation and anger at the circumstances you’re describing. This could be a demo off an old Mountain Goats album. I think the main thing that would elevate this is just tightening up a bit– not necessarily those vocals, but rather the orchestration. There’s a few times you lose pace with your drums, or the instruments seem to slip out of tempo with each other. If you keep everything in the backing a fairly tight ship, you have leeway to take those kinds of messy-style liberties with the vocals and keep it sounding professional. I also could’ve used a little more of a leadout.


I really felt the lyrics on this one. Boy, does the sentiment hit. I lived in South Bend, IN for four years, and hearing the way that people talk about what’s going on in the midwest and south can really rankle me at times. Giving up on red and red-leaning purple states means giving up on all the people that live there that are marginalized, are activists, that don’t have the wealth to move away. This dedication to trying to fight the good fight and see the joy in the world can get so hard when you feel like you have no actual power to change the system. But the power we have, maybe, is art and music. I don’t know. I really appreciate what you’re doing here. The specificity of the lyrics is very moving.


Favorite lyric: “I keep trying to write songs about how beautiful and good and dignified all people are inside and end up writing about you saying you’d slam your car into a pole”

Favorite moment: The entire last stanza.



Berkeley Social Scene - Waterspout

This came in strooong with the instrumentals. An incredible beat. Your arrangement builds well from verse to prechorus to chorus, etc. There’s a nice sense of forward momentum here, and the guitar lines are nicely balanced from ear to ear. The vocals are just getting just a bit muffled/lost in the arrangement– the strongest case of this is in the bridge. One way to help this would be to EQ such that the consonants pop more. You’ve got nice harmonies going here when they kick in, and I think having them peppered in sparsely is the right move.


There’s some clever stuff in the lyrics here: “mystified” and “mist defies” is the kind of thing I’m particularly fond of. Appreciate the midline rhymes and use of dumb/dumbfounded. You’ve got a few metaphors going at once here, and I see how the concept of the waterspout connects both to the “itsy bitsy spider” and “ocean” comparisons, but it’s possible the metaphor gets a little too archaic/lost by the bridge. We’ve got whirlpools, swimming, oceans, clouds, rain, rowing in a boat, and mist. I think the story of the metaphor lost me at a couple points. The consonance in “cold”/“cumulous”/“cloud” sounds lovely, though.


Favorite lyric: “I’m mystified as the mist defies”

Favorite moment: The groove in the verses: poppy, upbeat, a nice tight beat behind it all.



Sleet and Snow - Chamomileon

This intro rocks. The dreamy guitar with delightful little bends and some chorusing effect draws me in. The thing that I’d love here to enhance this is a sense of build and release. You’ve got a nice synth that comes in at the chorus, but something that would benefit the song and help differentiate the verses and choruses is a kick up in the drums. The drums also bear a lot of weight when you don’t have any rhythmic bass support until very close to the end. Filling out that lower register can help you create more of a sense of growth, and give you more instruments to build up/break down between verses and choruses, etc.. 


I love the specificity in the lyrics here. I’m a huge road trip person, and I feel like this evokes very well that feeling of a true American drive. All the details (“balding tires”, “a skating rink for SUVs, talking to the cacti”) really ground me in the world and story of the song. I think the vocals could stand to have a little less reverb to let the lyrics shine through.


Favorite lyric: “I’ve got a rusty Chevy beater, balding tires, broken heater”

Favorite moment: The way the guitar sings out in the intro.



Ironbark - I Am a Clear Blue Sky

You said you aimed for Cuba and landed near to Lounge– I’m hearing a nice Vampire Weekend indie pop thing here, especially with the bongo/sparse piano arrangement. I adore the piano falls, especially when they get a little dissonant. I don’t mind a sparse arrangement, but a little more of a steadfast bass (like you get in the “heavens crack” section) or floating synth (like you get in the last stanza) might help tie things together with everything else being fairly poppy and light. There’s a nice call and response between the bass, piano, and vocals, but having each on their own overlapping melodic line does at times muddy the waters without anything to fill the empty space. 


Your lyrics are so evocative. This entire first stanza: the repetition of “over” in various ways, the imagery of “shaking lightning from your hair.” The diction exercise My Fair Lady callout– you’ve got some sneakily complex stuff going on here, all coalescing into the perfectly simple “I am a clear blue sky”. I think that the end is structurally odd, although I understand what you said in the bio about trying to turn a spectator’s eye inward onto the narrator themself. I wonder if a verse could have been dedicated to elaborating on that concept/metaphor you begin to broach at the end of a clear blue sky thinking it is “empty” and “blameless.” 


Favorite lyric: “Overwrought and overloud, shaking lightning from your hair”

Favorite moment: The piano fill between the first chorus and second verse! Enchanting.



glennny - Psychotic Cyclone

You’ve got an ear for creating a nice short, snappy guitar riff. Your guitar performance is certainly a standout here, especially when you get rock and rolling in the post-chorus. That hook at the end of the chorus– “you rocked me all night”– is excellent! This could be a slightly less heavy Guns N’ Roses or Scorpions rock ballad. I’m loving the harmonies that kick in on “take me away”; they could be pushed a little further back in the mix, but I’d love to hear little harmonies like that peppered even more throughout. Whatever plucky rainlike stringed instrument you can hear soloed in the intro and outro, I’m delighted by it. I could stand to hear a few more measures of that on its own!


You’ve found such a great rock chorus lyrically here with “psychotic little cyclone.” Bringing in Oz as a metaphor works really well here, and you bring it back to a classic rock feel with the hook at the end of the chorus, which is gonna be stuck in my head for a while. There’s a fantastical storytelling element to the verses: in the first verse, I imagine myself on a pirate ship, and in the second, perhaps a Wild West ghost town? Either way, it gets grounded back again with the chorus each time. I’d love to hear this with a full commitment to the vocals. Let it out, get some growl in there. You’re singing on the quieter side and boosting it up in the mix, but I could hear you totally rocking this if you let it rip out from your chest.


Favorite lyric: “Psychotic little cyclone, kiss the ground and take me away”

Favorite moment: That (mandolin??) in the very first measure.



Jeff Walker - And So It Begins

I can tell right off the bat you’re very skilled with the guitar. Damn, you make it sing. There’s a great call and response between that guitar and your lower vocals: nice job placing them in different registers, so neither’s competing for the same place in the mix. And it’s a beautiful partnership: both the vocals and guitar have enchanting melodies. All I’d ask for here is to vary the drums up a little. A new drumming pattern in the chorus would make all the difference. Maybe a little more grounding bass drum. Non-variated drums can make a song feel longer/slower than it wants to be.


I absolutely agree with what you said in your bio re: something a few decades back with a slightly more obtuse lyrical flair. I appreciate that instead of throwing a bunch of different hurricane/rain related metaphors in here, you zero in on one and craft a dexterous extended metaphor for relationships and growth and the inherent tragedy of attempting to create a life with someone else. The reference to heaven in children’s eyes is genuine and emotional. And your waypoint– the ocean being just made of little drops of rain– ties everything together so nicely.


Favorite lyric: “The roaring sea tries to claim the sand”

Favorite moment: Any time the vocals and guitar are trading off melodic lines.



West of Vine - Aeromancer

I sank right into this the second the bass hit. Just the perfect amount of bass line to ground this, with drums that keep it kicking forward. And then: watch me get caught off guard by the beauty of the guitar that comes in for the third stanza. This song is structurally odd, and I found myself wishing for so much more of it. The last stanza feels like the first true chorus, and I really rejoiced in the various guitars coming in to fill out the mix and support the vocals. I would’ve loved for that to be the first of two or three choruses! I think this song deserved to be longer and more fleshed out than it was. 


There’s some really incredible lyrics here, and I appreciate the way you tie everything back into this concept of aeromancy. Each of the colors of the skies seem to signify a turn in the central relationship. I really just wish I had so much more of this. The first two lines of the chorus (“there were omens […] in the cumuli”) are so striking. You balance the metaphorical and esoteric so well with really grounded, hard-hitting sentiments: “looking for one damn thing that’s true, you said you could see through me like a vision.” It just stops short of singalongable because– well, it stops a bit short.


Favorite lyric: “I was begging you to stay, you called it treason”

Favorite moment: Damn, when the full instrumentation swells on “omens”!



Hot Pink Halo - Strange Attraction

I really dig the main vocal melodic line on this one! It’s catchy, bubbly, and it swells up very nicely in the chorus. I’d love to see the vocals bumped forward a bit more so I can make out all the words better without reading along; some more focus on diction, consonants specifically, in the performance might also help this. 


I like the synths that come in on the chorus, and the chorusing harmonies that support. I think when you’re aiming for something like four choruses, you might want to push in a bridge or breakdown or big change in instrumentation somewhere along the 3/4 mark so that we’re catapulted into that last chorus with more momentum. I think this starts to lag a bit when we hit the fourth verse with no differentiation in the drumming pattern or orchestration. Repeating is important to the theme of the song! So a way to get there without it feeling monotonous could be to try toying with stripping it way back for a section, or building it up more and more– something that give the listener’s ear a moment to snag on and sense of anticipation that is then fulfilled by coming back for one final chorus.


Favorite lyric: “I’ve cut a decimal and I’m taking aim”

Favorite moment: Just that catchy repetition of “I am sensitive to initial conditions”, which we keep circling back to.



Temnere - Seeker of the Storm

Oh my god, you’ve gone and written a heavy metal epic. You’re verging in on Metallica/Zeppelin territory here. This is so well executed: you know how to build up a song, with synths and guitars and drums all coalescing to a really fun, hardcore drive forward. You’ve employed reverb deftly, particularly in that echo on “skies”. Your vocals are so well suited for this kind of song, and you’ve got a really great handle on writing to show off your range. What this did make me want, though, is a Temnere song with a REALLY strong riff. That riff in intervals you’ve got going near the end of the instrumental gridge was great, but I’d love to hear you just really go ham and rock out on a riff and make it sing. That’s probably the only thing that would bring you to the next level with this.


Lyrically: okay, are we in Mad Max? The Dark Tower? Flight of the Valkyries? This is such an engaging story, something I’m used to from Iron Maiden and deeply impressed to find woven so well here. You’ve got a hero’s journey protagonist, the fatal flaw of humanity, dialogue, potential references to the bible? (Death on his white horse), and a truly pitch-perfect metal scream at the end. No notes.


Favorite lyric: “Herald of the golden age, bringer of the saving rains– hear me!”

Favorite moment: Tie between the end of the instrumental bridge and that last stanza’s vocal shine moment.


Hutch - Just Standin’ in the Rain

Your hook of “falling of the rain” is very catchy! After a couple choruses, I could totally sing along with it. And I like the guitar fill after the first chorus. There’s nice little touches there, like the distortion and bend up. You can tell that it’s a synth, but that actually enhances it! There’s something very sweet to the sound of it.


Here’s some of the things I’d look at going forwards: think about diversifying the drum loop at different parts of the song to indicate verse vs. chorus. Try a strumming pattern if you’re set on guitar backing, or commit to synths and see if there’s one with an interesting tone that could fill out that middle of the mix. Right now, it’s rhythmically repetitive in a way that can lose a listener’s attention. Or, if you’d like to find that diversification through melody instead of instruments, think about either ascending or descending to the chorus and placing it in a different register in your voice. This might section out the song and make a chorus a nice landing pad, as it were, for a listener to return to. 


Favorite lyric: “I can hear the mournful sound of the sky come tumbling down”

Favorite moment: That delightful instrumental riff in the bridge.



The Dutch Windows - Cold, Hard Blackberry Winter

Your voice has such a classic feel to it. This feels like one of the more rock-leaning Donovan singles. The breakdown on “cold, hard” in the chorus is so welcome! I’d love to see you commit to that even more in the chorus, it’s such a good sound. You’ve got a nice melodic line in the guitar paralleling the vocals. The only thing there is that the vocals, while having a great filter on them, are lost a little in the mix diction-wise. The lyrics wind up being a little hard to distinguish. I’ll pull the vocals forward and get them a little crisper, if possible. The modulation into the bridge comes just when needed, and I could relish that bridge if it lasted even a few lines longer!


You’ve got a great extended metaphor here with “will you still be so frosty with me” that resolves perfectly. I’d never heard this idiom before, but I could see it becoming commonplace if this single got released on the radio. The details there: “Tiny Tears”, “sycamore tree”, “the fairy lights”, personalize this in such a delightful way.


Favorite lyric: “it’s like I don’t understand this spring fool fever’s gone.”

Favorite moment: Probably that little ascending melodic line in the bridge on “the fairy lights […] I’d just shut up”!



chewmeupspitmeout - Hurricane

This has lovely instrumentation– I love the windchimes, the stacked harmonies, the 8bit synths and electronica drums. All of the instruments feel like they’re in the same world as each other, and the shimmer synth and windchimes work nicely alongside the filter on the vocals to bring that fantastical element which exists in the lyrics. I’m a fan of the bass, although I would have loved for it to come in a little earlier to anchor the song. My main qualm here is that– I suspect because of the quality of some of those synths and harmony choices– the whole thing is slightly atonal and off-kilter. I can never quite settle into it, and there’s always something going in at least one of the instruments or the vocals that’s out of key with the rest. I don’t know whether this is intentional, and it’s meant to create an unsettled feeling, but there are moments when the atonal elements grate against one another conspicuously.


I love a song with convoluted/wordy verses that resolve into a simple chorus. You pull this off very nicely, with the chimes almost taking the lead on the melody in the choruses and the vocals as a steady backing. You’ve pulled in lots of various metaphors here related to the central idea, and you’ve got some clever rhymes going. You’ve clearly got a great vocab: I love any song with “humdrum”, “malaise”, and “staid” in the same verse.


Favorite lyric: “Atmosphere cracked as you breezed into town”

Favorite moment: The chorus, when the chimes come back in to support the vox.



Cybronica - Grey Skies

I love love the instrumentation for this. Flute! Clavinet! It’s halfway from Fairport Convention to Rasputina, witchy as all hell. You’ve committed very well to a certain vibe and aesthetic with this, and the soprano harmonies emphasize that and shine. The main thing that I think would tie this together, in my opinion, is a kick-in from drums and/or bass somewhere in here. The transition from the flute solo to the last piano section feels somewhat disjointed, and an instrument or two keeping rhythm would probably alleviate this. It would also fill out the lower register here, which isn’t getting support from the vocals or flute, which are both living up in the high, breathy place. Even continuing the rhythm guitar more consistently would probably tie things together.


The esoterica of the lyrics slots in very nicely with the feel. There’s a first-person narrative here supported by an extended metaphor, and you succeed at creating a very visual/sensual landscape that I can feel and see and taste. The rhyme scheme isn’t particularly consistent, while might contribute to the ambulatory feel of this, but you make good use of assonance and consonance from phrase to phrase.


Favorite lyric: “I laugh and kick my heels with joy until the squall knocks me aside”

Favorite moment: I can’t not smile the moment the flute kicks in.



The Alleviators - Fog

What a lovely guitar intro. And man, you can really sing. You know how to write very well for your range and mixed these vocals perfectly to settle right where they need to, underscored by the Toto-style drums and overhung with a shimmering guitar. It all starts to pick up between the third and fourth stanzas, when some light drums kick in and another guitar picks up. I expected to drop in after that with some kind of stronger bass, but the build ultimately never led to a strong drop. Fortunately, I had beautiful harmonies to buoy me through the song. I think I would’ve loved the choruses to have a little more release, especially on those drums, which I know can create such an epic feel, which seems like what you’re going for. But it never quite settles into that feeling. Everything you DO have arrangement-wise sounds excellent and sits nicely, I think I just wanted drums and/or bass to kick in a notch at some point to create a sense of an arc for the song, a destination point that it’s all been building too.


I think the lyrics do create this, though, on “that’s just how it goes.” Your choruses are so melodically sound. There’s a few metaphors floating around here– sandcastles, smoke, ride, shadows, sun– but they all weave together to create a a unified feeling. And I love that there’s a sense of– if not resolution, catharsis. We’ve ended somewhere different than where we began.


Favorite lyric: “You creep in with the dawn, I breathe you in like smoke”

Favorite moment: Probably the beginning of the first chorus. The harmonies are so gorgeous.



Winterloper - Frostbitten Hearts

This is such a lovely, pitch-perfect chill electronica tune. I find myself bobbing my head along every time I listen without realizing I’m doing it! You’ve crafted something insanely catchy: the choice to pull the synths into something poppy and rhythmic for the chorus and accentuate only with light drums, a low bass, and those sparse cymbals works really well for what you’re doing. I’m not against sparse instrumentation when it’s in service of the song and does what yours does: fills out all the points in the mix where the vocals don’t sit. You’ve got that subtle bass grooving along underneath all of it to guide us along. 


You’ve got a lot of autotune on the vocals, enough that I’m assuming it’s an artistic choice. It works with the vibe of what you’re doing here! It’s an almost lo-fi vibe (could be a Rebecca Sugar B-side?) and, although it never builds instrumentation-wise, you keep the tempo up and add enough ascending melodic lines that it feels like there’s consistent movement in the song. It feels only a touch too long, perhaps, in the outro.


Favorite lyric: “The frost crept in, unseen, through the cracks beneath our feet.”

Favorite moment: Oh, when that first chorus hits and the synths get rhythmic. I want to cover this.



Boffo Yux Dudes - Weather the Storm

So many good things about this. First off, you know how to write a drum line! You’ve got some great arpeggiation that kicks in on that higher-ranged synth on the second verse, and there’s a very fresh and funky syncopated rhythm on the bridge that keeps things fresh. Whatever cyberpunk-flavored world this lives in, I’m digging it. I think as far as instrumentation goes, the only thing that isn’t quite mixed right are the shakers at the end, which come in far too strong and only for a couple measures. 


You’ve got those great harmonies that I love– I’d push them back a little in the mix, but they’re nice and tight and add emphasis wherever it’s needed. It’s a great choice to have them to come in and underscore for the “weather inside my head” chorusing moments. There’s some great rhymes here, too: “triage”/“mirage” is a personal favorite.


Favorite lyric: “the low-pressure system will not stay”

Favorite moment: The syncopated bridge.


SunLite - Glass House

This has got such a great unified feel to the instrumentation: a poppy guitar and bass, light and peppy drums. Harmonies that poke in only when they’re needed to accentuate the melody. Distortion on the guitar that comes in only in particular moments, underscoring and filling out the chorus. I could use use a little more bass in the drum and perhaps more rhythm in the guitar or bass in the chorus, but the verses are entirely spot-on. I would just focus on keeping the vocals tight pitch-wise and keeping the melody forward in the harmonies’ mix.


The way that the guitar and bass delight in the verse, the catchiness of the melody cheers in the chorus. “better/then”, “weather this”, “tethered”, “sever it”, “fettered”, “together” is such a thrilling series of feminine rhymes that just keeps the ball rolling all the way through the end of the chorus. You don’t necessarily even need Chorus B melodically, but I see why it’s nice to have something less wordy to sink into. You’ve got such a great sense of rhyme even there, in the slightly more pared down chorus. 


Favorite lyric: “You kick up all the dust and force what shines to rust”

Favorite moment: When the guitar and bass fall into sync going into the second verse.



Governing Dynamics - Storm Over the Ocean

I absolutely love this. You’ve got masterful instrumentation here. Bass, drums, guitar all driving forward with rhythm and passion, building up with cymbals through the pre-chorus to the drop into a clean chorus with every register int he mix filled out. I have basically no qualms with the arrangement or instrumentation here, except perhaps the the harmonies could be pulled a little further forward in the prechorus and the cymbals could be pulled back a bit to make space for them. 


The lyrics of this pushed it over to my top pick. You followed the challenge to the letter, giving us winds and storms and thunder that are integral to the story of the song, but it’s all so metaphorical that I feel the song is really about something, not just reaching for rain analogies. You’ve got masculine and feminine rhymes, shifting rhyme schemes from verse to prechorus to chorus, and a bridge with a turn, like a good sonnet. It’s hard to pick just one, but:


Favorite lyric: “you told me I was dangerous; it still hits me where I live” (but also, “racing through the power lines”)

Favorite moment: The chorus is so on point, the little moment of breath before we drop down into it.



Menage a Tune - Wind and sand

You’ve got a lovely piano and vocals only singer-songwriter sound happening here. Since you’re accompanied only by piano, some ways that you might keep the orchestration feeling fresh throughout the piece might be to differentiate the  pattern in the chord progression, and/or to add a bass line in the left hand. Right now, there’s not an immense amount of difference in tone or feeling between the verse and chorus. Another way to achieve this might be to bring some harmonies into the chorus, or to take the melody up or down to a new placement that we haven’t heard yet. I love the choice to have the piano drop out and glide with only vocals through the last line. It’s intimate and ominous, and a good example of how to craft “moments” without extensive orchestration.


You’ve got a lovely gravelly tone in your voice, and this is placed nicely in your register. This song really tells a story, and the choice to use a metaphor not just about weather but grounded in political implications makes this work on multiple levels. You cover a lot of ground in only two verses and choruses, and I could see you expanding this out a little more, but you guide the listener to the story’s ending point nicely as-is.


Favorite lyric: “And nobody can see me now, I’m always here alone”

Favorite moment: The build on “sand” to “wind and sand”.



Sober - Back in Texas

You’ve got such a lovely voice– and damn, that range! You wrote this right int he sweet spot for your voice. You’ve got a touch of rasp that’s just perfect for this style of old-school country. I’m digging the slide guitar call-and-response that starts up in the second verse, sometimes echoing and underscoring the vocals and sometimes bouncing melodic lines back and forth. I wanted harmonies to kick in at some point, and then they did in the second chorus! I wanted them sooner, and even more of them consistently through the song; they sound so excellent and fill out the lower range of the mix. You’ve got a great riff bouncing between the two guitars on the bridge, and a great breakdown on that last chorus. The only thing I wanted is more of that perfect moment on the last “back in Texas”. So fun.


That last “Hank Williams”! You’ve got the pipes. This is a catchy country tune– makes me think of Hank Williams Jr., actually, in something like “Family Tradition”– and is probably the most excellently mixed song of the entire pack. You’ve got a simple but well-explored premise here, and just enough specificities that I can immerse myself in the world of the story.


Favorite lyric: “I still have my ropers, and they’ve always had tread”

Favorite moment: The vocal show-off moments in that last chorus! Hot damn.



Eric Baer - Weather Anomaly

Your guitar and drums are in perfect sync– I’m loving those little stings on the guitar in the verses that accompany and accentuate the rhythm. You’ve got great harmonies– I’d love for the vocals to come in a little clearer, less muffled, but the harmonies sound great, and they fill out the orchestration nicely. Only thing you might be lacking is some kind of a bass line to support the lower range of the piece. I could have used some sort of diversification in the drumming pattern at some point. I know this isn’t a classic verse/prechorus/chorus structure, and I don’t need it to be, but some sort of build up to or shift during the “turbulent sky” hook itself would probably all you need to break away from getting too repetitive.


You’ve got a very catchy hook! I’d have called the song Turbulent Sky, it sticks in one’s head very easily. There’s a great story here, almost Red Right Hand-esque. You explore the extended metaphor pretty much to its limits; this is well paced and expands upon the narrative with each verse. You don’t rhyme particularly often, but there’s enough assonance that it feels cohesive.


Favorite lyric: “when he’s forced out of hiding the heavens start colliding”

Favorite moment: those harmonies on the hook.



Lucky Witch & the Righteous Ghost - Weather Song

I have to say, this has by far my favorite lyrics of any song here. There’s too many good turns of phrase and vocabulary words to count: saturnalia, nephology, barometric pressure, “have you ever been in an earthquake?” Boy, have I been there when the words go. I’d love to rank this song much higher than I did, but there’s a few things that need to be cleaned up before it can live up to how incredible your lyrics are. First off, it feels just a tad faster than the performance of the lyrics can keep up with. The crash cymbals come in a bit hot and heavy and could be scaled back a bit, and the chorus is in general a bit arhythmic and atonal. Your bell-like synth is so charming, and the female harmonies come in with such a lovely tone.


The main problem is just this pervasive atonality: I think there’s something off in the melody, which could absolutely be solved with some adjustments. The harmonies on “how”, for example, are not quite in tune with the backing orchestration. I think going back over the melody and straightening some of it out– or adjusting the chord progression to better fit the melody as written– would fix most of the parts of the song that don’t sound quite there yet.


Favorite lyric: “when I saw you in the park reading Hemingway.” Ugh. Haven’t we all been there?

Favorite moment: That last verse sounds lovely, with the descending harmonies kicking in.



Ominous Ride - Nymphorainiac

You’ve got great melody and harmonies! I’d love to hear a little less reverb on the vocals, especially during the harmonies, so the lyrics can come through a little clearer. But the melodic progression is excellent, particularly that rise on “crescendo” into the chorus and the “rain” repetition. This is right in your sweet spot, vocally. I appreciate the way the drums kick up to support transitions from verse to prechorus to chorus, and the ascending guitar echoing the melodic line in the prechorus and chorus. 


What came first, the song or the title? You got a good play on words here (which doesn’t actually show up in the song, but its presence looms), and you milk it well. You’ve got some good internal rhymes here in “finish”/“diminish” and eye-rhymes “mood”/“wood”. Typically, with comedy songs, I’m partial to ones that grow and evolve beyond one note of a joke. What’s the stinger at the end that might surprise, make you laugh in a new and unexpected direction? I think the repetition of the one idea here lowers it a little for me in the rankings lyrically.


Favorite lyric: “the ozone breeze, my weakened knees, baby”

Favorite moment: Crescendo!



Dream Bells - Snowsong

I think this is absolutely beautiful. This is some kind of perfect mix between lo-fi and 90’s whimsigoth drums– you have such a perfect encapsulation of not only a unique genre here but the feeling of snow itself. The drop into the chorus was so beautiful and cathartic; it let me really sink into the song. In my opinion, this just absolutely *sounds* the best of any song here. The synth fill is absolutely gorgeous, and the whole song is just the right length. The drums kicking up when the vocals drop out lets them have their moment and shine. Everything is just perfectly placed, no instrument is ever competing, and the vocals shimmer on top of everything.


The lyrics are, of course, not incredibly perceptible, but I think you know what you’re doing there. If anything, I would just boost the consonants a little so they’re crisper, which would still fit with the sound of what you’re going for, the winter chill. This is so terribly nostalgic, and it would tip the scales into being very sad to me if it weren’t for the hopeful feeling inherent in the bell-like synths and ascending melodic lines.


Favorite lyric: “the scent of the morning, and all the things you didn’t say”

Favorite moment: The end of the chorus, when the bells kick in.

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