First, a quick note. As mentioned in the last post, the regular Judges for this competition are Micah Sommersmith, Ryan and Chumpy of Jerkatorium, Edric Haleen, and Joe Lamb. And this is a first... all of them are former champions (of SpinTunes or Song Fu)! Each and every one has been on your side of the fence.
The Spintunes 15 Round 1 challenge was:
Strange New World: You are an alien visiting the Earth. Write about what you found.The obligatory note on judging: there are no official judging criteria. We use a selection of judges precisely because different people have different tastes, and this is reflected in their personal rankings. All judges are individually tasked to rank songs according to their own preferences. In my case, I prefer to rank according to how well I think you met the challenge, with some balancing and jostling based on other criteria, such as clever lyrics, production, etc. I'm not that hung up on arrangement and polish if I feel the song itself is good.
The dirty secret of judging is that when we select challenges, we've got our expectations, and we have our hopes. We expect a certain kind of response. We hope you'll pleasantly surprise us. My expectation for this one was something in the nature of a travelogue. That is, we did ask you specifically to write as an alien about what you found, not your plans, or about your feels (unless those are triggered by what you found). So unless you pleasantly surprise me with a better idea that still meets the challenge, I'll give some heavy weight to people who squarely met the challenge, as I have always done.
The entries for this round fall roughly into a mere handful of tropes: Space Invaders, Humans are Bad, This Place is Great, etc. I thought I might see more alien abductions, but that was more a '70's thing, I guess. There shouldn't be a lack of options. This challenge is wide open and presents so many possibilities! So -- just for fun -- I present here a few items from the "ideas not used" bucket to consider:
- Humans aren't the only thing on this planet, nor the most impressive. The alien could land anywhere... Africa, the Amazon Basin, and write about what he finds there. Even the bottom of the sea. Maybe this alien is aquatic.
- Alien visitors are not interested in abducting Earth people. Earth cows, though... they're hawt. Unfortunately, alien sex wrecks havoc with bovine genitalia. Totally worth it. Lot of news stories to support this one.
- Aliens aren't here to kill us, enslave us, or anything of the sort. But they found a race of beings willing to abandon their planet on the slim hope that somewhere in the vast reaches of space they'd find some other rock more hospitable. The aliens are all for it... they encourage it. When we leave, they'll just move in, 'cause they made the same choice already and they've since learned not to be so damned picky.
- The alien is stuck here and found a job.
- It's a return trip. The alien found something important he left behind. (Star Trek fans might fondly recollect "A Piece of the Action")
- Nobody gave a time frame. These aliens visit Earth in the distant past, and find it young and inhabited by low-brow hominids. So they plant the seeds of future civilizations.
This has it all: description... feels... love... Interesting rhythms and tune. You nailed it. And I love the character's point of view. It's the little things... "sing this shade of blue"... the fact that to an alien who may not have a massive moon at home, the changing tides would be strange and miraculous. I feel the influence of "Part of Your World" in this number, and that's not a bad thing.
Vom Vorton - Watching the Skies
I've get a really strong "Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy" vibe from this one, and I love it. It's exactly what I'd expect from a travelogue, and it's executed perfectly, IMO. It mentions the good and the bad in the form of non-judgemental advice for the traveler in a strange world. It's unfortunate that the editors will whittle it down to "Mostly Harmless".
Mandibles - Dihydrogen Monopoly
We found WATER! As screwed over as we think it is, an alien civilization would be overjoyed to find the most precious commodity in the Universe in such an accessible form. And as we humans would go batshit crazy over finding any world even fractionally as good as the one we have, I'm totally on-board with this premise. Even though I'm not a ukelele fan, I think it works well in the chorus, giving a sort of Hawaiian islands feel to a piece about being surrounded by the ocean. I'm not as enamoured of the verses, but I don't really have good constructive advice on them either.
Glen Raphael - Humans Seem the Same to Me
This really stands out for me. I have a whole family of cats... eight of them. Every single one is a different color, and I certainly don't think they're substantially different as cats or see themselves that way. I doubt an alien would have any more capacity to understand our differences than those cats do. Cats are the same. Humans are the same. This song a bittersweet, though hopeful, of our insignificant differences from an outside point of view. And it doesn't hurt that I can listen to Glen sing all day.
Good Guy Sôjàbé - Godspeed
Soulful sound. Unfortunately, the "humans are bad" trope is so pervasive I find myself looking for a fresh take on it, and that hurts its placement a little. But this is fantastic in execution and mood.
Faster Jackalope - First Impression
The first thing that hits me is the very nice retro-rock sound. Very listenable.
Menage a Tune - It's a Strange New World
I see what you're doing there JoAnn... hiding behind that sweet grandma façade to disguise the fact that you're a blood-sucking plant from outer space. Lots of nice callbacks to "Little Shop of Horrors" in here. I think I'd prefer it with more of a 50s rock feel than the swing, and if you really ground in the vocals on "now it's suppertime!" So full marks on concept, but it could use something more in the execution to make it really make it hit home.
Brian Gray - For the Glory of Gleeble Glorp
Brian, you're screwin' with me here, because -- just as listening material -- this is hands-down my favorite song of the round. But it's not really describing what you found on Earth, is it? Nope, it's all aggression in the name of Gleeble Glorp. So even though it's kick-ass and fun, I'm ranking it down a good bit for the weak response to the challenge.
Boffo Yux Dudes - Message to the Hindmost
Larry Niven wrote a series of novels and short stories in a universe he called "Known Space". In it there is a race known as Pierson's Puppeteers. The fun fact about Puppeteers is that the brain is in the torso. The Puppeteer has two brainless heads, each with a mouth and voice. Their "leader" is the Hindmost, being the most cowardly of the lot. And having the nature of herd animals, once they fixate on something, they all pretty much follow suit. Now, that background is important to appreciate that this song is sung by two voices of the same person. Not only does this attention to detail make it geeky to the max, but this entry is (almost) unique in actually identifying the alien species that visits so those of us in the know are preloaded with their point-of-view. And it's this point-of-view that makes a stampede of tap-dancing Puppeteers oddly plausible in Niven's universe.
Ominous Ride - The Game
Old-school Coolio, en femme. Rap gives the opportunity to make dense rhymes, and that's done here. This particular style of rap lends itself to political head-bashing, and in fact I've used it that way myself in a previous SpinTunes. It's a nice style to try out, but I (personally) wouldn't do it again, preferring more subtle means of communicating the parable.
Governing Dynamics - Unsatisfactory
It's slow and sad and at least we didn't get invaded.
PigFarmer Jr. - Alien BBQ
This guy just likes the BBQ. And yup, he introduces himself as an alien. That said, there's really not much about this piece that screams "alien". Seriously, you could replace the first two lines with "I'm a real life Yankee and I come from New York State", and the song would be basically the same. So while it's fun, and I'm one of those who would echo a shout of "BARBEQUE!" from the audience, it's not really grabbing hold of the challenge.
Marlon - A Message, Dear Leader, From Your Humble Servant Xebax
One of the great pleasures of doing this contest is that I occasionally get to hear a song from Marlon. I enjoyed his previous entry so much I covered it. Because when you get right down to it, even though he's not singing smoothly, and his "instrument" is knee-slaps, the actual songs that he writes aren't BAD. Take this one... I like the concept of "going native". For a long time I've held some notes for a sci-fi story in which the Earth is renowned for cooking, which to other races is weird and unique. And here it is in the song. The "they hardly use their nukes for war" line turns all the "Humans are Bad" tropes upside down, reminding us that maybe... just maybe... we're the ones who AREN'T bad, overall. And to top it off, it meets the challenge head-on. This is just a nice 55 seconds, and frankly, I plan to cover this song, too. All that said, if it weren't for the fact that this is a songwriting competition, and I'm imagining the song with the best possible production, it would rank much lower.
ShyFox - Can We Be Friends?
ShyFox vocals are so clean and "honest"... love 'em. And it's got that indie garage-band feel. Challenge-wise, there's not much descriptive about it, being mostly lost in a plea for friendship. If he had FOUND friendship and written about that, then it would more squarely hit the challenge and I'd rank it higher.
Third Cat - Our World
As I hear it, this is basically it's a straight-up invasion song. Maybe they find Earth cat to be cuddly and loveable as I do, or maybe they're just delicious. Hard to say. It's well produced, but doesn't stand out for me.
Jocko Homomorphism - I Won't Displace
I can see this in a Tim Burton animated production. It's got that weird, almost Victorian quality. I put songs into two categories: there are "story" songs, and there are "feels" songs. This is a story song. But the story is WEIRD. Our alien visitor is a Martian ghost. And it's really his story, and not terribly descriptive of Earth.
Temnere - Hi Tek Ray Gun
JEEBUS! I am SO glad I have written lyrics for this one! There's enough high energy in the drum track alone to power a hi tek ray gun. So full marks for heavy metal mayhem. As far as the challenge goes... "weak and fleshy carbon" is as descriptive of Earth as this song gets. At least, until he glasses the planet, gets bored and moves on.
Running Green Lights - Alien
HEAVY autotuning here is oddly appropriate for "alien" vocals. This MIGHT be an invasion? The thing is, this is extremely light on the descriptive portion of the challenge. "It's alien"... OK. HOW? As a song, I like it. As a response to the challenge... meh?
Lichen Throat - Here to Say Hello
This starts out like a 90's 16-bit videogame soundtrack. Then the vocals kick in and I don't know what to think. The meter as delivered don't really match the rhythm, though I see that as printed, they COULD. The conceit of the song is fine. The guy has picked up transmissions of Breaking Bad and he's a fan turned tourist. But it sounds ponderous, and that hurts its replayability.
Rob From Amersfoort - The Aliens Are Coming
Rob, You're supposed to BE the alien. I'm afraid this is a clean miss of the challenge in my eyes. We're not disqualifying anyone this round because with a bit of squinting and a stretch of the imagination, this could be interpreted as an alien scout, but the constant use of third-person pronoun means I don't buy it, even in the best possible light. But this interpretation does keep you eligible for re-instatement should someone else miss the deadline next round, so I encourage you to shadow!
SHADOWS
Red Watcher - Abduction (SHADOW)
I wish you hadn't entered this as a shadow. I have nothing bad to say about this song, and nothing I can say to constructively improve it.
PigFarmer Jr - Missouri 1980 (SHADOW)
Love the idea, and it should have been your official entry. It needs three things to rank highly there:
- Heavier, 1980s-style drums
- A driving bass line. Again, hit that 80's feel for a song worthy of an "Awesome Mix Tape"
- Break up the syllables of "lady". Instead of "Laaaaady's the sea", try "Laa-Deeee is the sea" to drive home the reference to "Brandy" by Looking Glass.
Accordions can be creepy.
Heather Miller - First Glimpse of Green (SHADOW)
Astrophysical Fun Fact: there are no green stars. This is a physical limitation imposed by the spectra emitted by the elements produced in stellar fusion. So it's perfectly plausible for an alien to have never seen the color. Excellent job putting a message across in the bridge without it coming across as heavy-handed or preachy. I love this take on the challenge, and would love to hear it produced more fully.
Matchy Matchy - Everything Everything Everything (SHADOW)
Low-rent Jerkatorium wannabes.
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