I have the distinct privilege of hearing these songs long before the listening party, as they're first submitted and I quality check them as I build the album. Just about every one of them was my favorite song at the time of their receipt. I don't envy the regular judges one bit for having to pick five to eliminate. But it has to be done. As a result, some very nitpicky stuff is going to affect the rankings. I have a difficult time finding something constructive to say in the way of improvement on more than a few of them, so don't be surprised if I don't.
Faster Jackalope - Selfless Heart
I tend to group songs into two main categories: "story" and "mood". This one's "mood", with just enough story mixed in to give it coherence. And that ain't bad at all. Normally when ranking songs I don't give a lot of weight to production, but this is a strong round, writing-wise, so naturally production is going to count for a great deal. And obviously, part of the songwriting aspect is the musical arrangement. And MAN, this one's good! The instrumentation is superb, the arrangement is superb, the vocals, the mood... this song hit every sweet spot for me. The use of musicians rather than synth patches gets you major points from me attention to detail and craftsmanship. Primo stuff. I wouldn't change a note.Temnere - Not This Time
OH, THOSE ROCK-SOLID VOCALS! OH THAT GUITAR! And what a mood it sets! A karmic treadmill, finally broken. For me, that gives it an air of sincerity that really doesn't need schmaltz to convey. And to me, this is interesting (and it's possibly just me being weird)... listening to the song, the undercurrent of regret is less prevalent than I would have thought from just reading the lyrics. Instead, I get a sense that the prior mistakes and present promises are purely factual. It yields a much more pure sense of gratitude. I didn't get it on first listen, but with repeated hearings, this song just steadily climbed up my rankings.Zoe Gray - How to Sing
This song sets a bittersweet emotional tone right from the very first line. Of all the songs here, this one makes me verklempt. No notes: it's just great stuff.Vom Vorton - Thank You Rafa & Agnes
FUN, FUN, FUN! It perfectly captures the energy of new kittens! (I have three!) This song had me chair-dancing, which defies analysis. Good job!Ominous Ride - Dodging Bullets
I'm a sucker for Ominous Ride's sound... it's just cool in a way I wish I could be. The premise here -- thanks for dumping me -- is a difficult one to pull off with sincerity. I think you did it. Structuring this as a retrospective thank you was an excellent choice.Good Guy Sôjàbé - Upward & Onward
A fitting tribute Stan Lee! It's got a good, heroic energy driving it forward. The lingering chords and open-throat vocals give me that sense of comic-book flight. I even love your title, with its nod to Stan's signature exclamation, "EXCELSIOR!" There are so many references to here to his work: almost every adjective is from one of his titles... "uncanny", "invincible", "amazing", "spectacular", "astonishing", "fantastic". Allusions to Iron Man, Spider-Man, the Fantastic Four, the X-Men, Silver Surfer, Galactus, the Avengers, Astonishing Tales, & Captain America are packed into a surprisingly small set of lyrics. I am thoroughly impressed by the density of content here. This is the audio analog of a character splash page.Mandibles - InDependence
We asked for sincerity, and this song virtually bleeds with tender sincerity. Top marks for that. I love the harmonies on the verses. The bridge doesn't work quite as well for me. The lyrics would indicate that this should be the most comforting part of the song, but the music here has an edge of "otherness" about it that I can't really define; but just misses underscoring the comfort that should be there.Third Cat - Looking for Light
I don't know whether you meant to do this or not, but given your band name, I was entranced with all the "cat sounds" that this piece contains. It happens lyrically ("...me out", particularly in the backing vocals) and musically (with the use of the bent notes on the guitar solo).PigFarmer, Jr. - So Long, And Thanks For All The Fish
Generally speaking, I love it. I'm a big Doug Adams fan myself. There are a few places in the chorus where I think the lyrics could have been tightened up... "'Cause you died in a bad year in my life" (off the top of my head I'm not sure how I'd address that), and and the last two lines, which I'd probably switch to get the wish/fish rhyme to work better given the pause.Menage a Tune - I Wish (Jennifer's Song)
The concept is great. The lyrics are fine. The sincerity is undeniable. The music would be fine... on another song. Music should find the emotion in the lyrics and amplify it. The lyrics provide context for the emotion in the music. It's an iterative feedback loop for the senses. Here, the clipped delivery of the vocals coupled with the light and airy feel of the glockenspiel and unvaried tempo don't really give us that. Basically, you're tugging on one heartstring, leaving the others untouched. Look at the first line of the first two verses: "I was young, but I was dying", "She was young, her life was over". You're starting us out lyrically in a very dark place. We go from there to longing and regret before coming to the chorus which opens up and takes us to joyous gratitude for a selfless gift, the context of which was already set. But the music doesn't take us on that same journey. It comes right out of the gate with bells and sweet candy. And then the lyrics in the chorus drag us back to the grief that we've acknowledged. You don't need to acknowledge it in the chorus. Let the thank-you do its work.
If I had to suggest something constructive (and as it happens, I do have to), I would suggest that you take another look at your division of labor and remember that, as with writing anything, editing is what makes the song work. That's editing the song, not just the arrangement. You should both be invested in the total project. Ask yourself what you're trying to feel at any particular point in the song. Even if it's a complex emotion it should be focused. Ignore the words for a bit and ask if the music provides that. Ignore the music for a bit and ask if the words keep you targeted on that. Then pay attention to both to make sure they mesh. If you're not both feeling it, be willing to make changes. Regarding the vocals, approach them as a method actor. Grieve when grieving. Revel when celebrating. You'll find it harder to go wrong or mix messages that way.Jocko Homomorphism - A New Ideal
As a song of sincere gratitude, this is a fine tribute song. The expressed gratitude is intellectual, rather than emotional. The quirky tune takes a little time to get used to. On first listen it's jarring, but on subsequent listens -- once your brain becomes trained to it -- it works. I like the sort of 16-bit synth sounds that give it an 80s "Revenge of the Nerds" or "Real Genius" feel. The vocals, I think, would be improved by running them through a ring modulator and Autotuning the hell out of them so as to better mesh with the instrumentation.Brian Gray - Your Name
I might wind up being in the minority here, given the inarguable work that went into this one. However, I reserve the right to be curmudgeonly in the context of this challenge while still being enthusiastically supportive of the Gleeble Glorp saga and concept album. Having read the bio, I think this is one case where "the movie is better". Without knowledge of the accompanying visuals, the song leaves people guessing. Who is he thanking? What is he thankful for? This album's been running on my car stereo for the entire week, and when it comes to this song it invariably leaves my passengers confused until I explain it. I hope you put your first idea in the concept album because I feel it could have been done with less textual exposition.Governing Dynamics - Guiding Star
I hate writing this review because it sounds way more negative than it should. My original reaction to this that there's no real hook in this song. But after listening a few times I realized that's not true: it has a good hook, but I don't think you exploit it. After learning the tune, I went back through the lyrics without the sound, and it seems that 110bpm feels pretty natural... and it's pretty close to what you're using, so tempo isn't really the problem. It's more that the percussion track is so busy and scattered... in places almost random... that it's distracting from the song itself. When it gets to the chorus the cymbal lags just enough to drag it down. It's as if the drums belong to a completely different song. The vocals... need cheering up. The lyrics I read aren't sad. The target is someone that you're happy to be with and happy to follow, but listening to it, it just doesn't sound that way. It shouldn't be Disney, but it's not a dirge either. A cleaner, simpler percussion track and ever-so-slightly more energetic vocals would rank this way higher.Running Green Lights - Thanks for No(thing)
Perhaps you won't be surprised if I thought this was a DQ. Fortunately for you, the judges disagreed. Under strict interpretation of the rules and challenge I note that 1. It's a song. 2. We don't have a time limit. 3. You said "thanks". 4. You included vocal harmony. 5. A song thanking someone for nothing can't really describe anything, so you even squeak by on the sincerity requirement... barely.Glen Raphael - Work of the Programmers - DQ
Glen, even though your expression of gratitude is unarguably sincere, I'm afraid you crossed the line from "homage" to filk parody on this one, and as a result you've pulled a DQ. Shadows can get away with it. But even given that "Work of the Weavers" itself is taken from a traditional tune, you kept so much of the lyrical structure of the copyrighted work that we really don't have a choice on it.
For the sake of other competitors reading this, the reason we require original submissions is to stay clear of copyright violations on Bandcamp and especially to comply with the rather draconian terms of service on YouTube (which hosts our listening parties). So when you sign up, the form states that you will provide original songs. Parody normally falls clear of that if we ask for it and label it clearly (shadows are easier to argue. I have personally submitted parody as a shadow). But in this round we asked for a sincere expression, and that's hard to pass off as parody.
SHADOWS (unranked)
Marlon - SHADOW - I Am Not Your Princess
I'll start of with the acknowledgement that, if this had been an official entry it would have been a DQ purely because it lacked the required vocal harmonies. That said, someone in the listening party mentioned that this was a "charm attack": I couldn't agree more. I've mentioned before that this album's been playing in my car all week. A passenger heard this and noted that it sounded as if Toad were actually singing it, so I'd say your songwriting is playing to your vocal strengths here. It's also one of only three songs that I was specifically asked to replay. I'm glad that you stepped up and added instrumentation. Just be careful... there are a couple of moments where it gets away from you.Red Watcher - SHADOW - I Wasn't the One
There's ONE thing that would keep this from being a great answer to this challenge, and that's that fact that you sing, "I should be grateful..." instead of "I'm grateful...". As a result, this became a sincere song of sympathy. That said, I don't care. This is a shadow, and you wrote a song that needed to be written.Dr. Lindyke - SHADOW - Match (DEMO)
It's my own entry, so I won't review it much other than to say that since it's a shadow, I didn't kill my shoulder trying to get the planned instrumentation into it; but submitted a mere live demo with only the required harmony added, and with all of Hoover's rhymes removed just to torment Edric.Red Watcher - SHADOW - Kindness Reigns Power
This one's a bit of an earworm. I love the rounded-vowel David Bowie vocals on words like "spoke" and "joke". I love the soft dance-club sound. The presentation softens, but does not hide, a compelling and inspiring story. It doesn't say "thank you" in so many words... instead, it says it with the entirety of the song. Look at the difference between what you're doing here and what you did as MAT... You start this off on a light note lyrically and musically. You give an uplifting lyrical message throughout and keep it moving, chin-up, with the beat. When you get to the verse about death, the drum machine stops and the vocals soften. But the song's not about death, so you pick it up again and move on. Well done.Matchy Matchy - SHADOW - Thanks
This is the part where I normally just dismiss Matchy Matchy as a wannabe Jerkatorium knockoff who need to get their own schtick. I'm not going to do that this time, because they're showing us here how to successfully pull off the incredibly complex task of presenting a totally sarcastic, yet totally sincere thank you at the same time. A couple of bands addressed the "thanks for dumping me" theme, but this song is a master class in pointed songwriting humor.
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