Boy on the Wall - Spintunes 18 Round 1 reviews, “Color Me Impressed”
Congratulations everyone on a very fun first round! I am humbled to be in the position of judge, especially as someone who’s never progressed past Round 3 of Spintunes myself, and whose music education is very much in the DIY rather than MFA mode. If you think my review misses the point or wonder, “what does he know anyway!?”, you’re probably right. Trust yourself. But I tried to be exceedingly fair here, so I want to share a little bit about how I approached the challenge of judging before getting into comments on each song.
I listened to each of your songs no fewer than four times. I did this on shuffle order every time so that I wasn’t biased to favor tracks due to the bandcamp album order (which, in case you didn’t know, is the chronological order in which Micah received submissions). I listened a couple times on a nice home stereo and a couple times on studio headphones. My first couple listens I had the compilation of lyrics and song bios open in front of me and as a result I was looking mostly for lyrical cohesion/beauty, a clear sense of the main idea of the song, and adherence to the terms of the challenge. This was about the point in my process where I joined Ryan and Chumpy on the Two Jerks, One Vote podcast. The remaining listens I put the lyric sheet away and paid more attention to music, performance, and production. So it’s likely there are comments in my full written notes here that go much deeper than my initial takes on the podcast. I may even have come to disagree with myself. Though I’ve held firm to my own gut reaction without being swayed by Ryan and Chumpy’s views.
It’s optional of course but I do want to share that I found myself appreciating the song bios. If you can muster a few minutes of effort to write a song bio in subsequent rounds, it’s much more likely to help than hurt. There were hints in the bios that helped unlock the idea behind a song or its composition, and more often than not these helped me appreciate what the artist was going for. That said, not naming names but I don’t think my fellow judges and I will be susceptible to your apologies or self-criticisms in the bio as a way to garner sympathy for yourself. Just stick to what you were going for and why.
As a final note, just realize that we’re dealing with very fine margins here. Everyone in this competition is super capable and creative and as judges we have to find very minor reasons to rank one song above another. I wouldn’t say that a song ranked around 10th in my list is light years better than, say, songs in the 20’s, but through some combination of small factors it stood out to me a bit more. Which leads to the advice: try to stand out, if you can do so without sacrificing your artistic voice. Of course it’s not guaranteed to succeed, but songs in underrepresented genres, songs with creative production styles, and honestly those with a little more “single” energy than “album deep cut” energy just help your case a bit. It’d take something really spectacular for a slow sad guitar rock song to leapfrog 30 other competitors, you know? Though of course there is precedent for that in Spintunes and none of these are hard and fast rules.
Okay enough rambling, onto the reviews! IN SHUFFLE ORDER NOT RANKING ORDER!
“BucketHat” Bobby Matheson - Seeing Mauve (Rose-Coloured Glasses)
There’s quite a lot to like here, Bobby. The production is very competently done; the accordion sounds nice and full, not too bright or grating which could be a risk. And the bass, acoustic strums, and drums sit in a nice balance with one another. Is there some piano that comes in a bit later? And kudos for taking a swing on a guitar solo for us, but between that and all the other elements happening here you’ve submitted the longest song of the round by some margin. Quite often in these reviews I think I’ll suggest that folks try to keep ‘em wanting more rather than exhaust your listeners into skipping before you’re done. Is there a 3 minute version of this song? Start straightaway with verse one, no intro, try to cut down spaces between sections, and maybe do some little guitar ad libs throughout rather than a long solo? Just brainstorming, if you agree.
Your vocal performance is really nice. On top of just being technically ‘on’, there’s also real personality coming through. Your narrator is not just a stock standard vocalist; he’s communicating the actual critical message of the song with little choices here and there to show his slyness and snark and I appreciate that.
Throughout the round, I tended to like songs that took cliched color associations (i.e. blue for sad, green for envy, rose-colored glasses) and then gave the cliches a twist rather than just using the cliched definition or ignoring the cliche altogether. And you’ve really met that bar here. I said this on the podcast too but my understanding of what “seeing mauve” means is that the version of rose that this person is seeing is, like, bad rose. Like mauve is dour rose, evil rose, or to use your lyric, “realistic” rose. And the image “sickly pinkish” or this “evil rose” idea is cool and original. Am I getting it right or is there actually some color theory behind it, like if you have rose glasses and see something actually blue in the world, then it would appear mauve? Like that?
All that said, I wonder if “mauve” is a common enough word, or moreover an adequately musical word, to be the anchor for the whole idea here. It’s very very specific and I think despite the very well constructed lyrics the listener might not totally get it. I think the lyric even says, “I’m not even sure what that means” or something like that. What if the central image were sickly sweet candy or the pink of flavorless bubblegum or any other example of “evil pink” that’s more squarely in the common lexicon?
Dutch Widows - Pastel Purple Icing
I have to tell you that this song landed in my life in the middle of an emotionally laborious discussion with my family about Christmas, which has often turned out tense and un-celebratory for us in the past. So you got immediate points for, especially in October, a song that’s skeptical about Christmas, for entirely personal reasons, haha.
I also really give you credit for, as you wrote in the song bio, trying to break out of songwriting patterns and use more loops and samples. The landscape of sounds here is so rich and layered and you’ve managed it really well so it doesn’t feel too jumbled or overwhelming even when it all builds up in the end. The filtering on your voice adds to the blend too. By the time we’re in the full culmination of all the sounds coming together toward the end, my mind was pulling in references as top notch as Yo La Tengo, which I mean as a high compliment. And even though it was above and beyond the challenge, I do acknowledge that you’ve built something very compelling, emotional, and listenable with a real minimum of “chord progression” to speak of per se.
There are several songs in the round where I thought, “these lyrics are too literal and ‘telling rather than showing’,” and then other songs where the lyrics are too lyricy for my taste, with plenty of emotion-words or cliched images but no real throughline of a message. I say all of that to land on the point that “Pastel purple icing and buttercream” the lyric is exactly what I’m hoping for at the balance of these two extremes. You really got it. It’s a very specific image which we understand immediately but also isn’t cliched, and it also serves as an effective symbolic focal point for the narrative swirling around it. It’s the finger that points to the moon. I also like how it’s the very first lyric we hear in the song, so that when we keep coming back to it and hearing it a few more times, every time it returns we have more meaning to attach to it. Nice.
If I’ve said a lot of really positive things here and still not ranked you way up at the top, I think it’s due to the song hitting me with that “album deep cut” energy rather than “single” energy I mentioned above. It’s vibey and great at what it’s setting out to do, but I just gravitated a bit more at a gut level to songs that aimed to be more captivating or upbeat I guess? Probably not fair but such is the challenge of judging on marginal differences.
Good Guy Sojabe - Grey
This is one of several songs this round that completely wraps the listener in its own little universe. The production is fantastic, starting from the earworm bass riff at the outset all the way to these exultant choruses followed by outer space guitars in each little interlude. Excellent guitar tones and performances throughout. And the vocal performance is so frontman-y, for lack of a better word. It’s confident, it’s expressive. I can see you with one foot on the monitor leaning down making eye contact with kids in the front row of the indie metal show you’re playing in the late 90s in my hometown all ages venue. These are high compliments.
This is also one of a few songs this round with lyrics I found hard to parse. They serve the mood and feel of the song perfectly well; this is not a musical genre calling out for a quirky narrative or lighter lyrics per se. Not at all. But I’m not quite sure what the song’s about, apart from just its well realized vibe, and it especially struggles to stand out in that regard because so many submissions went for “grey”/ “gray” as their color choice, from many directions. So from a lyrical standpoint I don’t necessarily have faults, I also just don’t have anything to grab onto to single out for praise. Across my reviews I express a slight distaste for “lyric-y lyrics” and I might have to put this one in that category.
The verses are where your commanding, snarling vocal performances are at their best; the prechoruses are slick and menacing; but the chorus is where the overall song - melody, layered guitars, splashing drums, vocals - is at its absolute peak, as it should be. An online songwriting course I watched once had this idea that the verses should be like bridesmaids/groomsmen, certainly dolled up and dashing, but then the chorus needs to be *the bride*, another level yet, exceeding everything else in musical beauty, causing you to rise to your feet. And this is a “rise to your feet” chorus. Heck yes.
And okay then the bridge is... kinda meh. More of an empty third verse. Some clever little bridge turnaround with a new melodic element that propels right back into a final chorus might have catapulted this song into my top five. It’s so solid, nearly spectacular.
Ominous Ride - Gin Black Daze
There are several super cool melodic moments here, with the verses especially super suitable for a flashy frontman. I don’t know if you have long flowing hair, Ominous Ride, but that’s how I picture the singer of this one, on stage at the arena, tight black jeans and maybe a cutoff shirt to show off his full arm tattoo sleeves. Your switch in vocal register to the higher “never saw it get away from me” is a particular melodic highlight for me, and I think it’s also a lyrical high point in capturing what I think I understand to be a self-aware regretful drunk? Am I close?
Otherwise this submission is a little bit light and I guess I agree with your song bio that it needed another part and a little fuller realization of its central idea. I have no qualms whatsoever with a 2 minute song, really, if it packs in the hooks and ideas. But this is the shortest submission of the round and I think it’s also among the lowest in terms of the number of musical ideas presented. The song is brief, the lyrics are relatively slight, the response to the prompt is just the color of his drunkenness I guess, and we really only have two musical sections in it. You’ve got a great start on a song here and hope you do build it out later.
Sober - Kintsugi
Damn dude how about that note you hit on “rain, rain, go aWAYYY”!? I’m over here trying and trying to get down there and I can’t, no matter how I contort my face and throat.
That’s just one of a dozen examples of the astounding musicality and professionalism of this song and recording. The mandolin and banjo dancing with each other, almost like the “she” and “me” lovers in the song made musical, are played wonderfully. Your voice is so distinctive and engaging, it’s weary, wise, warm, wow. There’s this gruff quality to your vocal timbre of course, and then there’s the picture of the bearded dude to go along with it (which I presume is you?), which, let’s be honest, creates some expectations for the listener. That we’re in for rough beauty, not light airy beauty. But then you go and skip the third chorus in favor of layering these swooshing harmonies of your voice on top of one another and the expectation is shattered.
All of these wonderful musical elements shine through so well because the production is also absolutely fantastic. Each element is clean and audible in perfect balance, even as you build from just guitar and voice up to an orchestra of strings and backing vocals. On their podcast either Ryan or Chumpy said this song could be on the radio and I agree; the production is absolutely professional quality and the songcraft deserves radio play too.
I will certainly rank this song very high this round. As for my minimal notes, I might offer that the color imagery here isn’t particularly remarkable. I’m not sure what “looks at me through blue and green” means, but if you’ve written this for a special someone and she knows, that’s all that matters. And “paint it black” is not a cliche exactly but not an original phrase. I’m also torn about whether I like the switch in the final phrase of the chorus not to repeat the melody from the prior line but to swerve to this more unresolved place. I can see the desire to change up the samey samey back and forth melody there but, and maybe I’m just too simple of a guy, I think I would have been more comforted by the resolved samey samey conclusion.
You may have also seen me ding some other entries for going on too long and doing too many chorus repeats at the very end. So I also need to give you credit for “keeping ‘em wanting more” by stopping after the final verse and only giving us two choruses throughout. Makes me want to hit repeat.
Jim of Seattle - Gray
One of my absolute favorites of the round, an immediately captivating toe-tapper with a wonderful performance throughout that only gets more rewarding with more listens because of the dense wittiness of the lyrics. I’m instantly happy whenever this one comes on.
I also particularly love that you’ve named, dissected, and ditched the color cliches related to blue, red, and green. We’ve got several songs this round that use those colors in ways that basically ignore the “cliche elephant in the room” which was distracting. And a couple songs leaned right into the cliches. This song, by contrast, juggles the cliches all deftly and then chucks them aside. I love that.
Now, one little nitpick. The vibe is great, the lyrics are fantastic, but we have to acknowledge that the overall effect of this song is not at all “duller than brown” or “gray” in the way the lyrics suggest. So you’ve got a little bit of a medium and message mismatch. We’re dancing along to your dismay, darkness, and depression. You don’t sound very gray! But let’s not try to dwell on that when there are so many delights here.
Some lyrical favorites: “the sweet surprise of that particular note”, “practically aquamarine”, “apples too tart but that make a good pie”, I’m just in for the examples. And as I did on the Two Jerks One Vote podcast I want to particularly complement how you switched between short space vocal phrases (Blue / am I blue) with longer denser phrases (Am I feeling that well-known / cliche of a hue?). Too much of one or the other can feel samey samey after awhile, but your deft mixing is really excellent.
And I’ve gone on at great length without even mentioning the perfect 60s production and performance package here. Jim, just keep it up, this is just wonderful stuff.
Temnere - 1493
Something I did not expect to result from agreeing to judge Spintunes: feeling SO FRICKIN PUMPED for the Ottoman empire!!
This is what it looks like to stand out, Spintuners. What a legendary use of the prompt and stunning submission. This one floored me and I’m thrilled to give it my top ranking in a competitive round. There are just so so many musical ideas here, and all of them serve the song, which itself serves the story, in a literal siege of the senses. There’s this beginning riff and already a teaser of your playing with half time / double time changes. Then we get melody after melody, variation within the verses and then this cavalry storming the battlefield with prechorus after prechorus finding impossible levels of intensity after we thought we couldn’t go any further and then culminating in the chorus and return to the driving riff. You can hardly catch your breath.
Astonishing production and performance as well. I don’t know how you play or program these drums but either way it just gets my heart pumping, and the clever interplay between double time and half time manipulates the song’s energy so well. The guitar work is excellent, and dang it’s not just any singer who can pull off the role of war chronicler as if they’re there on the frontlines themselves. Honestly just Congratulations.
I’ll say this: I’m torn about whether I think the “radio edit” would be better than the full version. We’ve basically heard every musical component you’re going to offer by about the 2:45 mark, but then we’ve got almost two more minutes of riffs, (admittedly face melting) solos, and repeats of prior sections. My personal taste is to “keep em wanting more” as I’ve written in a few reviews, and the 2:45 version would practically force the listener to hit play to hear the song again. As it is this longer version delivers more of a full meal where you’ve had your fill by the end and don’t necessarily need to go back to the beginning.
I probably would have stopped after the solo and skipped the last minute of repeats but that’s a matter of taste. Keep em wanting to hit play to repeat
Timothy Hinkle – Slate
“I Wish It Would Rain” by the Temptations but even rainier in its poetic imagery and with a merry array of percussion and backing instruments, really a charming little sad world of its own with one of my favorite chorus melodies of the round. The percussion programming does really stand out to me as a charming little mystery here. Part of me wants to observe that the various percussion elements - hats and cymbals and cowbell and rolling snare hit - are dispersed across the stereo spectrum, which is a little disorienting and certainly doesn’t sound like a single player on a single drum kit. But at the same time, the ultimate effect of this approach, whether it’s 4D chess level intentional or just a limited software package you’re working with, is actually kinda quirky and inviting. It helps that your vocal performance is so confident and distinctive.
I love the chorus, how it arrives with the little mellotron or synth organ line in the left ear, and you sing this beautiful melody so well. Which is why I’m going to super nitpick the lyrical phrase in the key moment of the song: “sorrow’s chalk”. If you can find a different phrase to communicate the idea you want, where the stressed syllable of the word matches the natural emphasis in your melody, it’d become a transcendent chorus I think. For a songwriter who seems to be an honest to god poet, I hope you don’t mind a brief digression into meter. The word SORrow wants to be SORrow, and the phrase wants to be SORrow’s CHALK but instead you have to sing it sorROW’s chalk to fit with the wonderful melody and rhythm you’ve got here. Too nitpicky of me probably but it stood out. Even if it were, “...could wash away the writing from my slate of grey” the syllables would line up. Please disregard if you disagree!
If I don’t rank this one in the upper reaches of the round it’s because we’re dealing in fine margins, the percussion production became just a little too busy eventually, and your truly lovely lyrics seemed more suited for proper poetry than a song to me. From line to line I could see the fantastic writing ability on display, but the message wasn’t clear enough where I really gained any new resonance or understanding for the central washing/rain/clean slate idea. “Burnt in by sun, clawed out by air—living will life erase / Kindly obscured by dark clouds, my composure I’ll unlace”, lines like these are confident and with great imagery, but I don’t grasp the meaning very intuitively.
Jocko Homomorphism - Eigengrau
Right up there with Temnere as my favorite uses of the prompt. I’d never heard of this “color of another kind,” eigengrau, before. And the idea of this deep color at the brink of consciousness or unconsciousness is a heady but nonetheless musical idea. I am so into it.
There are also some great lyrics here in support of that idea. “Noises trickle out the ears,” I wish I came up with that. Or “Mind that wanders, mind that's still / Cast aside what work made ill / Lying here light matters not / Gazing on the world of thought”, phew now that’s a good verse lyric, especially as a poetic but approachable description of eigengrau.
I also have to compliment the production and, just, soundscape. It may be unfair but it’s the simple truth that anything in Spintunes that isn’t a voice and a guitar has a better chance to stand out. And this song almost in the universe of Kraftwerk “We Are The Robots” just doesn’t sound at all like any other entry in the round. That is mostly for the better and just a little bit for the worse. The establishment of the groove of the song, that too the surprisingly slow groove, from about 0:15 to 0:30 is just beautiful. There’s lush electro soundscape but in conversation with dry analog drums and a piano line that’s not particularly effected. The combo of digital and analog sounds really does groove here. And to the extent that either the narrator character of this song or your overall artistic persona, Jocko, is a… robot?... then the vocal processing is impressively off-kilter and effective at evoking this robotic sound.
But that’s where maybe we venture into some of the mismatches or “for the worse” happening here. As captivating as the overall soundscape of the song is, I’m not sure it really evokes this relaxing liminal eigengrau space. The production is busy, with all these synth lines coming in to comment after every vocal line, and a little digital computer calculating noise happening in the right ear most of the time. It’s a lot of active sounds. Which doesn’t evoke the “leaving me be” of the lyrics. And on a more lighthearted note, a question I didn’t think I’d find myself asking ever in my life, “Do robots have eyelids?” Haha. Your song took me there; why a song about this distinctively human or living phenomenon - the non-color color behind eyelids - but told by someone/something that doesn’t sound very human?
Anyway I’m going deep on some nitpicks but I still intend to rank this one quite high for the creative sounds and wonderful prompt idea.
See-Man-Ski - Pulp
This is the review I’ve been most dreading to write for this round, and it’s because I can’t shake the conviction that I need to put this one pretty low on my list despite really excellent production quality, your clearly top notch instrumental chops, and a well executed vibe and persona in the song. Honestly the performance is super engaging and undeniable, and I also can’t deny the sweaty innuendo and imagery (flesh, juice, taste, and so on) that’s ripe (eh, ripe, get it) for, ahem, interpretation. It’s an excellent use of a simple everyday item, not unlike “pastel purple icing and buttercream” I suppose, as a stand-in for something much bigger, whether tongue-in-cheek in this case or more sincere in the pastel purple case.
I think it all has the makings for a super cool song, and you have the chops to make it happen. I’m just not sure you actually finished the song nor that it really works for this prompt.
Let’s get the latter part out of the way because I’m sure it’s annoying all around. So, yes, orange juice has the word “orange” in it. But I’d say that’s referring to the fruit, not the color of the juice. Which is a nitpick, I know I know. And you’ve got the phrase “the orange fruit” as well, in which usage orange may be a color/adjective if I’m being generous. I don’t know, I’m in the position of finding fine margins to distinguish these songs from one another and I’m sympathizing with contestants who unambiguously wrote songs about or prominently featuring a color over the few cases including this one where, sure, it just about qualifies on a technicality.
Maybe the bigger thing to say, though, is that this doesn’t feel like a finished song to me. What’s there is cool, for sure. The guitar lick in combination with that throbbing bass line works super great. The harmonies in the sung parts are right on. The performance and production are all among the best in the round, and the jump in intensity for the final passage is visceral and exciting. Sorry man… what I hear is a long spoken intro, then verse 1, then another spoken interlude, then verse 1 over again but up an octave, and then some ad libs.
The “I want pulp in my orange juice” melody doesn’t feel chorusy enough to me, and even though jumping the octave in the end is exciting, it’s not really a new melodic element. So I would have probably rated much more highly a version with maybe one spoken bit up front, then the “I want pulp in my orange juice” verse, and then some new chorus maybe around the “never want to separate” lyric, then jam out and do a proper verse 2 and go wild for the final chorus. I know that every song doesn’t need to have the same predictable structure but I didn’t see enough compositional ideas in this one to rank it as highly as your chops would definitely otherwise deserve. Sorry to hear it was a rough week, and sorry to pile on with this review!
New Fangled Trolleys - Yellow Sticky Notes
This is a passionate and dynamic vocal performance delivering voluminous confessional lyrics all while musically evoking the stress the singer is actually singing about. An overwhelmed song about an overwhelmed guy. Excellent match of medium and message. That too, as in a few other songs in the round, you’ve done really well to choose a nondescript item and imbue it with symbolic power.
The guitar playing in this song is also pretty remarkable too, in that it’s so… athletic. My wrist is vicariously cramping just listening, haha. Between the vigorous strumming and almost painful sounding vocal delivery at times, I think you’ve earned yourself the title of “The Hardest Working Man in Spintunes” (no offense Micah).
The guitar sound in the production is exceedingly lo-fi. This may be intentional. But to me it was sometimes indistinguishable from... a washboard or something. I’m hearing a ton of the percussive aspect of the strums and less of the chord accompaniment aspect. Or maybe you’ve got one guitar track that’s intentionally chord-free strumming for percussive effect and another that’s the actual guitar chord harmonies? If the latter, maybe it’s a genre bias or personal preference but I think I’d switch over to some shakers and a basic drum track? The washboardy guitar became a little distracting.
I also think I noticed that some of the guitar accompaniment didn’t match section to section throughout the song, for instance the way you strummed the chorus the first time around was different to the way you strummed it the second time, to the extent where the “feel” of the arrival of the chorus was really different. The first time “Got my yellow notes on my yellow pad” arrived, the accompaniment really pulled back, I think one guitar track even dropped out and the remaining one took a more spare strumming approach, and it was a nice refocusing element in the production that gave that section real power and attention. But the second time it came around the chugging strumming continued straight through and it was harder to distinguish. Something to think about. There’s also a stark change in the strumming and vocal rhythm on “Lines of yellow highlighted pages” and it felt to me like in that transition you were always skipping or adding a beat; for a measure or so it seemed like a jumble outside of time until you got into the new strum rhythm. No? Little things to take the song to the next level: sometimes less is more in helping a chorus stand out, and tighten up that rhythm in transition?
This one is hard work, and it sounds like hard work, and it’s about (too much) hard work. It’s all cohesive in that way. But I admit that the real gravelly vocal delivery was not my taste after a while. You’ve got a beautiful voice when you sing “straight” so to speak. I know the grizzled voice was partially meant to evoke the overwhelmed-ness, but it was a little harsher to listen to as a result. You’re a super expressive singer; I bet you could communicate exasperation in your vocals in other ways.
Menage a Tune - Disco Silver
Menage! The biggest tragedy of this round by far is that you didn’t sing the Shine, shine, shine, shine, shine hook between every line in the actual choruses, not only the intro! That hook is so great, I need it as often as possible! Exclamation point!
This one was a surprise and a delight. I danced, I admit it. It’s quite clear that you had fun during this last week working on this song and I definitely appreciate when that shines through. And whoever was at the controls building these vocal filters and midi orchestrations really went for it. The string lines leading into the chorus sorta evoke Abba, which is appropriate, and the little synth lines responding to each phrase in the chorus are also cool. And I will stand up for the midi horns in verse 2, those little stabs are great and I’m not that bothered that they sound very software-instrument-y.
There’s so much creative production on display but yet the main vocal sounds a little distant and muddy. Maybe try a different mic placement and/or bring up the high end slightly. And I didn’t necessarily need the long coda at the end; I might suggest to you as I have a few others that it’s better to ‘keep ‘em wanting more’ rather than exhaust your listeners. The “radio edit” of the song, down under 3 minutes, would possibly be more effective overall.
I give you credit for the lyrical idea here, kind of focusing on the color of silver as this link across time between the disco dancefloor of your youth and the more routine domestic grown-up life you’ve got now. And the idea of being transported to a disco dancefloor by the sight of canned goods is… charming in a story sense definitely. I’m not convinced yet that Campbells soup belongs in a disco song though. Some of those phrases and the theme of “we’re grandparents now, life goes swiftly by” felt totally honest but also a little bit un-disco. I wonder if there are slight lyric modifications where instead of transporting the disco dancefloor to your domestic life with grandkids, you sorta reverse it where you all are transported into the glittery youthful scene. But this is more a brainstorm than a critique. Overall I was very happy with this one.
galoshy - Blue
There are so many lovely little components here. Your voice is warm and distinctive, the way you really articulate the “r” sounds in “lovely spark” and “light up the dark”, and even though it’s performed relatively quietly your voice still fills the production and feels “close” to the listener. Well done. And the guitar work is often spectacular, these inventive fingerpicked chord shapes and patterns all executed expertly. Your fingerpicking is so strong that I found myself wanting that vibe to return whenever we shifted into the strummier sections which didn’t have the same magic I guess. Part of this is that the long pause and transition at 1:25 or so took me out of the song, if I’m honest, and I think you might have done one more pass at the vocal and guitar lines right at that point to make sure everything re-arrives synced up in time with one another. It’s a little imprecise.
Lyrically, I’m of two minds on this one. I love the image of the deep blue near-night sky when the sun is setting, and many of the other descriptive phrases here. And the song is about how difficult it is to describe exactly what you’re seeing/feeling, so perhaps my slight confusion is the point and YOU GOT ME, galoshy. Haha. But there are a few things working against you, I think. One, “blue” does have a literal definition and perhaps cliched connotation as “sadness,” right. So when the song opens on a spare fingerpicking pattern and that word repeated, I guess it’s easy to default to “this is a sad song” mentally as a listener. I think you’re inviting that reaction. And “the color of my dorm room light” at the beginning didn’t register for me as a calming image on first listen; to me it was a harsh fluorescent light in a place where you’re feeling isolated or stressed on a homework deadline. I know this is absolutely not what you’re trying to communicate in the song but it did take me a couple listens to find my way into what you were actually going for.
These would be easy fixes though, if you want. Instead of “Blue,” perhaps the song is called “Approaching Violet” or “This Color We Made”, and you take one more pass at any word choices that might be little pitfalls for the listener trying to track you on this journey of building a description of your sensory experience.
Governing Dynamics - Violetlies
When this one comes on, I’m at my high school homecoming dance in 1999, with my hands awkwardly on the hips of my date as we sway back and forth. Whether intentional or not, the era and mode are so precise in my mind for this one. It’d slot right into any Goo Goo Dolls album from that time. And that’s a good thing for me.
Wonderful, wonderful lyrics as well. I don’t know what “violetlies” or “violet lies” are but damn that is definitely a song-worthy mystery. The lines, “in the silence of your violet skied violence
/ not so much magic as tragic contrivance” really stand out, and your chorus full of short phrases is so perfectly matched to your melodies I wished I could bring you in to my little internal discussions with other artists this round who struggled to map the natural phrasing and stresses in their lyrics with the movements in their melodies. You’ve got a great knack for it and it all leads to the feeling that we’re in the hands of a very capable professional here.
I will say, though, this is one of a few songs this round where the song finishes around the 2:30 mark but then there’s still a couple minutes more for some reason. I keep using the advice, “keep em wanting more” as shorthand for keeping the song nice and compact and compelling your listener to hit “repeat” to hear the musical ideas over again rather than playing them over and over again in this extra space at the end of the song. I grant you that the “maybe I’m right, maybe I’m wrong”s twirling around and in between the other melody is a lovely little meander, it’s not that anything musical happening there is substandard. I think it serves the song better to be shorter. But I know well that the shorter thing is often the more time intensive to produce and y’all are definitely working on a tough deadline in Spintunes.
Ross Durand - Ultimate Gray
Phew, you went and did this challenge on “Master Mode” didn’t you, actually representing your color of choice directly by mapping its pantone number to the chord progression. Thanks for sharing that in the song bio; you’re a great example for others of how the song bio can really unlock my understanding of what you’re going for. Kudos.
As a little compositional trick, I have to say I really loved the little pause and rest, with much of the backing instrumentation dropping out, before “it’s the ultimate gray” at the end of the chorus. Clever and well executed, and all in service of the message of the song as well. And the song also has a clear energy trajectory to it from beginning to end, with parts that are dynamically distinctive themselves then leading up to a louder more intense climax.
I can’t put my finger on it but from a production standpoint the one sticky spot for me is the vocal. Not the performance, the performance is energetic and wonderful. But the voice track sounds rough or distorted, especially when you’re really elevating the volume in the chorus, and I’m not sure exactly what to suggest. Play around with mic placement and settings, and/or maybe try recording your vocals at a slightly lower volume to give a little space. Otherwise you’ve done very well on the production side here, with those aforementioned parts where the instruments drop out completely, as well as the nice arrival of the organ about halfway through. All very thoughtful and well executed.
If I rank you a bit lower than this positive review seems to suggest, it’s because of the fine margins between these songs, the sorta rougher vocal production quality I mentioned, and I guess I also have to say that surprisingly the idea of feeling “gray” as a sort of sadness came up pretty often. So from a lyrical standpoint this one wasn’t particularly announcing itself as a standout. Though of course you had no way to know that this color choice would be so common!
thanks, brain - Bleed Out Purple
That ominous trip-hop vibe is really effectively conveyed here, and it’s not everyone who could use scratchy samples or run-out groove sounds as the percussive shape of a song. But you’ve done it. In a round and competition with a lot of “guys & guitars” it is refreshing to hear something different and spend a little time in a different musical universe.
It’s going to be hard for me to want to hang very long in a musical universe with no choruses, though, I have to say! It feels like there was quite a bit more attention paid to soundscaping here than the real melodic bones of the song itself? Is that too harsh to say? Without a chorus or section of the song that really melodically stands out, that implants itself in my ear, that’s singalongable somehow, it’s hard to grab hold of as a song. I wrote up above that songs need to announce themselves with a little more “single” energy than “album deep cut” energy to stand out in a big field of competitors and I do think this one has that deep cut feel.
The one other avenue you might have had to really bring me into the song - the lyrics - was also pretty tough to parse. I don’t doubt the existence of a real emotional core message in your mind, and the vocal performance and delivery are moody and excellent. But I really can’t follow. If the circus tent were another color, he wouldn’t be bleeding out purple? If it’s a riddle I haven’t solved it yet.
Brian Gray - Purple Dot / Something Like Home
Obviously this one is the undeniable champion in a kind of parallel category to the one everyone else is working in, haha. It’s a great achievement, Brian, I’m so in awe. Like a one song musical, where the first portion reprises with all this emotional ground (or should I say emotional *space*) having been traversed by the time it comes back around. I’ve been asking for people to stand out in one way or another and it’s like you laughed at that suggestion and didn’t stand out but quite literally rocket out. What a mind exploder to turn up on my Spintunes shuffle playlist.
We can walk through the general categories here and they’re all absolutely excellent. Lyrics: great. Some favorite lines are: “when a sunset nods approval of your toil,” and the rhyme of “best in you” with “manifestly destined to”. Central idea: great. Sagan’s “blue dot” but flip and reverse it and this time the humans are seeking out a different dot in the universe. Production: pfft, I may as well be listening to an official cast recording or something. Performance: also great. You’re not merely singing, you’re performing as this character and it comes through, as in your delivery of “so insanely purple”.
Now, I have to say, I only learned after the fact that this song fits within some kind of larger ongoing narrative universe you’ve been building in Spintunes or elsewhere. Unless I’ve been oblivious in past competitions, I’m hearing this one as a stand-alone, essentially. And if that’s the case, then I could nitpick and suggest that a few things need to be elucidated a bit more. People colonizing a planet in space, sure that’s clear enough. But the first portion of the song, the “base 12 quirk”, there’s a computer (character? or actual computer?), and suddenly within 55 seconds of meeting these people they’re already all gonna die!? I admire the songwriting economy but Purple Dot felt too brief compared to Somewhere Like Home. Maybe a little bit more in that first portion, another few lines of your lyrical wizardry and time with the characters, would elevate the whole piece overall.
Stacking Theory - This Pale Blue Dot
A decidedly (though not undeservedly, given the subject matter) dour vision of the blue that makes up Sagan’s pale blue dot, this is another entry that creates its own little universe where every element is working toward the same goal. The orchestration, the vocal performance, the lyrics, the slow tempo, all of these pieces are in alignment toward communicating “we are nothing, just a stain”. Which, yeah, isn’t a “disco silver” style joyful feeling to spend four minutes inside, but it takes all stripes!
One lyrical nitpick, and another unanswerable question I never thought I’d be asking myself: Can blue stain blue? I notice that your imagery was all blue: hi-vis on denim blue I interpreted to mean corrupt/violent cops (?) and sailing on ocean blue I interpreted to mean ostentatious wealth. Honestly, concise and effective images to critique social and economic injustices. But those things are blue, then staining the pale blue dot. Humans are the stain, and the images of our excesses are blue, and we’re staining the dot that’s already blue. I doubt you’ll care about this but it is a rabbit hole I went down in my mind.
This is another entry that’s super competently and effectively done but where I’d have to categorize it more “album deep cut” than “single”. It’s a long slow listen for as wonderfully constructed and performed as it is and it might have to slip in my rankings for not setting itself apart melodically or stylistically.
The Brewhouse Sessions - #FFC0CB
“Down on main street you gotta show your stuff” – words to live by!
This is a straightforward blues rock track with an energetic vocal performance and a charming central character but perhaps too few melodic ideas and a little lack of cohesion in the lyrics. I think it was definitely a fun approach to the prompt to explore the digital world or makeup of colors and I’m honestly surprised we didn’t get more HTML or pantone codes showing up in songs. But, and I discussed this on the Two Jerks, One Vote podcast as well, the mish-mash of digital and analog examples is pretty jarring throughout. The examples are all so viscerally “away from keyboard” – main street, parade, autographs, glitter, confetti, etc. So I’m wondering, why does this glamorous dude walkin around, if it is a flesh and blood dude, even know the HTML code for the color he loves, let alone want to shout it to the heavens?
Or, reading much too deeply into your song bio, I wonder if you meant that the narrator literally is the digital color pink. You say “living in the matrix” in the lyrics, and also that if he gets famous he’ll be an NFT, which suggest you’re trying to be a literally digital character. But if that’s true then the examples of struttin his stuff should probably all have been digital. “Down on the motherboard you gotta show your stuff” lol. Okay now seeing that, maybe that’s too silly. Anyway, clearly this is what I’m thinking about hearing your song.
The song is brief and leans on the same melody pretty much throughout, and I think I’ll have to bump it down the rankings a bit on that account. But keep struttin your stuff, guys!
Cavedwellers - Chartreuse
Damn. When I first heard this one, I immediately stopped my progression through the Spintunes album, played it on repeat a couple times, and vibed out in my living room. I’m so into it. It’s got that great moody 80s new wave thing happening, especially in the guitar tones, which works for me whether it’s currently in vogue or not. It transported me to late night rainy urban landscape, city lights reflecting on puddles as our menacing narrator strolls through in his trenchcoat. Any of the Cavedwellers listen to The Blue Nile? If not, check em out. That’s the reference that was coming to mind for me, and The Blue Nile are sorta godlike to me so yeah, high praise.
Let’s dig in, though. Who is this person? He’s a mystery. He threatened her and regretted it? He’s actually plotting a murder? He already poisoned the drink and the murder is about to happen? This confusion could be annoying but here it’s mostly really compelling. That said, I think “I’d rather you were dead” shatters the illusion a bit and makes it too literal. As I’ve been repeatedly singing this song to myself this week, I’ve starting ending the chorus with, “I’d remember what I said, I’d remember what I said”, repeating that line twice to double down on the threat without spelling it out so directly.
If my written review here is brief it’s because this is one of my absolute favorites this round and I wouldn’t change much at all. Thanks for the genre swerve and the fantastic color choice.
Lichen Throat - Silver Elite
Hate to be so blunt but this one was a miss for me. Which partially reflects how strong the songs were overall this round, because there’s actually some interesting production quality happening here. The pulsing bass repeats and then the downward guitar strums panned hard right and left, it does open up a little sonic world right at the outset. And your voice is deep and distinctive in that way that consciously or subconsciously evokes The National or Magnetic Fields. All of which is compelling.
That said, there are a few elements that really need to tighten up. The vocal delivery is often distractingly behind the beat, almost like you need to click and drag the whole vocal track in your software back by some milliseconds. It also has that feel of lyrics written completely independently from the vocal melody, where you’re trying to cram too many words or syllables onto certain melody lines simply because you wrote them, rather than writing such that the words really fit the space and cadence available to you on the melody, if that all makes sense. I think the chorus, which should be the high flying (get it, flying, Silver Elite) center of your song, is actually the toughest to hang with unfortunately. You switch the drum programming to be this sorta synchopated thing with the toms, which itself obscures the downbeats. Then your vocal remains a bit behind the beat, so literally nothing is on the beat and I lose the rhythm altogether for a measure or two.
I think we needed a little more variety in the melodies as well. The melodies are a little repetitive, and not that all songs need super acrobatic melodies or anything but this one is sorta walking the line between singing and speaking because the steps in the melody are so small, if that makes sense. And as a final point, I guess the idea of “I’m only Silver Elite” isn’t presented as self-aware or funny here, because look at least that’s some kind of airline status that a lot of people wouldn’t have. I could see the song working as a kind of joke with a character who’s spoiled because they’re “only” Platinum but wanting to be Diamond or whatever. That could be a Weird Al kind of approach. But if you’re playing this narrator straight, it’s going to be hard for this “look how bad I have it, I fly 30,000 miles a year” to get much sympathy. Like, that’s a pretty good problem to have for most people.
The Pleasantry - Rosé
In my bio as a judge I said I’d never ding you guys for having fun, and the top thing I can say about this song is that it seems like you had fun making it. I hope you hatched some of these beats and silly lines in the studio, cracked yourselves up, and laughed and danced and laughed and danced. If Spintunes brings that kind of experience into people’s lives, it’s already a win.
Don’t lose track of that idea when I dig in on some criticisms. I don’t think the song really holds up as an effective song above and beyond the studio lark, though. I don’t know what “ridin that rose” means exactly. My best guess is: this is a relationship that’s not advisable for you long term but you’re going to stick with it for now because it’s so magic and irresistible in the moment. Any truth to that? That’s actually not that bad of an idea, perfect pop song stuff, but unfortunately it’s obscured by a lot of the lyrics happening here. Verse 1 is mansplainy, “I can teach you about reality”, which isn’t a great look and doesn’t pull the listener to your side. And both the “living in a pink world” and “miscalibration” lines simply don’t fit in the space available to them, too many syllables. Then the completely meaningless cocaine / cellophane rhyme and the regrettable “sellin out game to the latest dame” line which I’m sorry I don’t believe for your narrator, and by the middle of verse 2 it’s all a bit lost for me.
You could switch the focus of the lyrics overall to be more on what makes her so magic (like Miss Frizzle’s school bus, lol), how intoxicated you are with her, how she keeps you from seeing reality, that’d be a cool song about ridin that rose when you should be staying sober, romance speaking. This boastful dude narrator isn’t that nice of a hang I guess.
All that said, again, I give credit for the fun on display. And the “Let the world go and pass me by” vocal hook is excellent!
Brother Baker - Cobalt, and Fading
Wow, I’m so impressed by the deftness with which you pull off the 7/4 time and switches in and out of 6/4 in the choruses. This is a high degree of difficulty which goes above and beyond the prompt and you absolutely nailed it. Can I ask: are there two singers here or one? Something about the vocal delivery on alternating lines had a slightly different quality and I can’t tell if it’s actually two of you, an intentional altering of approach by one guy, or something totally coincidental. Whatever the truth, I sorta liked the idea of a dual lead singer alternating lines like this in a conversation. Not enough conversation songs out there that aren’t sappy love duets!
I like how you brought in some nods to color theory in your choice of symbology here: vibrance, warmth. And Cobalt is a distinct color to choose, nice job there as well. On the production side, dang it’s mostly wonderful. I don’t know if you’re using programmed drums or a live drummer but either way the time signature switches and deft fills outside of the default 4/4 are great. And even when the guitar lines and piano and drum and vocals all overlap it sounds well balanced. My one nitpick is probably the chorus melody itself, it’s a sorta relentless scream on this one note. That might be more customary in the genre you’re going for, and it certainly does feel like longing, excruciatingly longing for something, which is exactly what you’re singing about. So add that all up and I intend to rank this one toward the top this round. Great job!
Green with Envy
This is a fun, off-kilter, uptempo track with some little word choices here and there that tickled me. I like the use of “color” as a verb, “color your attitude,” we didn’t get much of that in the round about color so it stands out as clever. And as I described on the Two Jerks, One Vote podcast, there are several word choices here that are a bit rough but in an effective way. The most central rhyme in the whole song is “took / look”, and they’re both delivered with a little snark and a real enunciation of the “k”. Which, let’s be honest, isn’t the most straight-down-the-middle lyricy choice of rhyme, word, or sound. Moon & june are mellifluous, took & look are a slap on the table. I liked the slap on the table, especially within the message of the song.
The production became a little samey samey for me, where I wanted the very active drum pattern to chill or to switch when different sections arrived, especially to make the verse and chorus feel different. They sorta blend together at the moment. And as much as I loved took & look, I don’t feel that I fully grasp the message here. “Lifting her style” doesn’t quite spell out the perceived offense well enough for me. She’s pretending to be the person you’re in love with? And because I’ve celebrated other artists for subverting or playing with common color cliches, I suppose I should ding you slightly for going with the straightahead “green with envy” as the central color image. It works in the message you’re trying to deliver, but it’s obviously not a phrase or idea we’re hearing for the first time thanks to your song.
Finally, the bridge was probably the weakest section melodically for me. There were a few times where the melody zigged when my ear wanted it to zag, especially on “green’s not a color it’s a shade of home,” that one sat awkwardly. Maybe what it was calling out for was to transition out of the bridge right there or sooner overall, and in a way that it flowed more immediately and naturally back into the chorus. You have a kind of empty pause there after the bridge making for a less elegant transition back. Anyway thanks for bearing with all these ideas. All of this said, and even if you’re not toward the top of my rankings, your chorus was one of the ones most likely to pop into my head randomly this week, to the point where I wonder if my wife was confused at my repeated outbursts that “green with envy is not a good look”, haha.
Daniel Sitler - Only (Kind Of) Blue
Whew, what a tremendously personal, vulnerable, and affecting song. This one is the perfect entry to subvert the general advice I’ve been giving that contestants need to somehow stand out beyond being a sad song with a guy and guitar. Yes, you’re a guy with a guitar singing a sad song but damn the songcraft and guitar work are so undeniable that it stands out all the same. I intend to rank this one very high on my list.
Thanks for the song bio making sure we understood the autobiographical background to the song, as undeniably sad and vulnerable as it is. Without it I wouldn’t necessarily have known how autobiographically powerful these lines and images are, but the feeling still would have shown through. The chorus is particularly affecting. I love love how the melody jumps up on “hue” to elevate the emotion, and honestly the time at the end where you stay in your falsetto on the word “never” it almost sounds to the listener like you’re literally crying. It’s drenched in emotion, your delivery of that word in particular and the phrase “hue I never coulda seen through” as a whole.
Even though you capably threw my advice back in my face about standing out beyond being a guy and a guitar, you *did* adhere to my one other frequent piece of advice in these reviews which is to “keep em wanting more”. You delivered your powerful song with captivating melodies in about 2:30 and then concluded, making me want to hit repeat immediately. I think less confident artists might have added another couple minutes of cello swelling or guitar lines and a few more repeats of the chorus which ultimately lessen their impact each time. Great job on putting in the time to deliver the shorter version, counterintuitive as that may seem. Less great job on being a husband, though, I guess.
Sara Parsons - Secondary
Thank you, Sara, for really going for the prompt. I give you credit for building the song all around colors and color theory but with this larger emotional meaning. And your lists of color examples for the “you” and “me” and “green” sections are all specifically observed and nice, even if I’m not sure what it means to be yellow like a stripe on a highway, haha. It’s a nice poetic image to noodle on.
A couple constructive ideas for you, if you’re open to them. It seems like you’re describing being totally, immersively, color-mergingly in love with someone (#humblebrag), which then seems a little undercut by using the word “secondary” in the, ahem, primary position in the song at the center of the chorus. I get that this is where your color theory metaphor directly leads you and I appreciate your willingness to follow the metaphor through to its natural conclusion. And maybe what you’re going for is a clever subversion of the idea of “secondary,” where in this case it’s actually a supreme, transcendent, beautiful thing to be “secondary.” But in a plain simple sense “secondary” means secondary, second-best, not the primary, not the first. So it’s sort of a head scratcher in the moment where the song needed to shine the most.
This came up in the Two Jerks, One Vote podcast also but there are a couple little hiccups in your uke performance. Nothing outright wrong or disruptive per se, but enough where the production isn’t polished in the way that many other submissions are. And the Jerkatorium guys observed that you do have some vocal overdubs in the song which suggests you have the ability to multitrack overall. So, you know, time wiling in future rounds I’ll definitely reward the effort to get the uke track perfect on its own, then the vocal track perfect on its own, those slight little steps to polish. But admittedly this may be my jealousy at your confidence in sending a basically one-take recording into Spintunes! I’m always stressing and tweaking dozens of tracks at the last minute and here you are unbothered in the breeze sending in your all-in-one-go stress free ditty. Admirable.
Jealous Brother - Lemon Tangerine
I love a topical song! Spintunes straight from the front pages! I was so intrigued and excited to parse the lyrics. That said, I sorta feel like you wanted to write a song about Britney no matter the challenge, and this was the way to do it. The color of the dress as a possible warning sign is great, but it’s hidden in the bridge area and maybe should have been the hook or chorus of the whole thing? I suppose that’s what “Lemon Tangerine” is trying to convey but it’s not clear enough. On repeat listens it all holds together and works but maybe the storyline needed to reverse in sequence. Explain the distress call and favorite color thing first, then go to the image of the distress call going out on all the phones. Is that making sense? Also is “lemon tangerine” as a phrase or image a Britney thing, specifically, or just your lyrical take on naming the yellow dress? You could have clarified in a song bio.
I love the beginning of the chorus but the last line of it, “we’ll all live in her submarine,” the melody goes way down there (ok ok like a submarine, maybe you’ve got something there), but it’s not climactic enough in lyrics or in melody. Tangerine is tough to rhyme of course and it shows. Especially if lemon tangerine isn’t specifically referencing anything, you might have ditched tangerine/submarine altogether as the central rhyme of the song and found something a bit more natural. It took the air out of the chorus for me a bit. And “live in her submarine” isn’t that clear lyrically either. Her conservatorship and financial oppression is like living underwater?
Anyway I’m nitpicking a lot but this was a fun arrival every time it came up in the playlist. Great vocal performance. Very “live band” feeling production; I’m not sure if there are any software instruments here but it doesn’t sound like it. The guitar solo is super capable and not too long. Nice selective use of harmonies to emphasize certain phrases.
Entertainment Brothers - Purple
Oh man this is the lightning rod of the round, I think. Meaning dang you’re really taking a swing on some of these lines - hooker, they-they, shitting the bed, buns - which are sure to get a response. Whether that response will be positive is… a risk. Let me start with the positives: a red tongue, singing the blues, becoming purple, that’s a fun grandpa-ism that I’ve honestly never heard before. And it could be a very fun song about a guy who’s really down on his luck, can’t catch a break, and can’t help but sing the blues. Or it could be an outright parody about a clownish buffoon Weird Al style where it’s clear to everyone that the narrator is a total, sorry, jackass.
But what we have here is somewhere in the middle of those. It’s not legitimately sad-sack enough where we empathize with the guy, and it’s not funny enough in a self-aware sense where we feel like you and we are all in on the joke in making fun of this guy, and so it’s a bit of a mess. My most generous reading of the song is that you’re trying to be like your grandpa and you’re looking down on this dude for singing the blues about all this stuff that’s superficial or not really bluesy at all. But what I’m afraid is more true is that you actually thought you’re communicating blues that will get sympathy from the listeners. Which is a total miss when we’re talking about hookers and taking someone else’s pronoun change request as an oppression to yourself and ugh.
What’s the phrase in writing, “kill your children” or whatever. You needed to have the guts to kill some of your lyrical children I think. Have a laugh privately about the lei, the its-it, the buns and bread, the bowel movement, but then chop them from the actual song you put out into the world and keep going for the next draft of lyrics that are better pitched at that perfectly self-aware humor or legitimate blues. All that said, the recording sounds quite good, vocals are wonderfully present in the mix, instrumentation builds up well as we proceed. Hard to get past some of these real groaners of lyrics, sorry.
Third Cat - Green Machine
There are so many cool sounds and production quirks here. A nice complex little environment of guitar licks with software instruments and synth phrases and fun vocal processing. And your vocal performance is also charming and off-kilter. I didn’t expect “take me away on your green machine” to go downward melodically after the first line of the chorus but it’s a nice surprise and you really deliver it in that lower register of your voice.
Lyrically this is a little bit light I guess. It’s definitely about a machine, which is green, and which flies. I presume that the green machine is weed or some kind of delivery mechanism for weed, but if not then I have to ding you for sorta neglecting to acknowledge the most common association that a listener may have. I don’t think a song needs to spell out its every nuance of meaning like an essay or anything, but lyrically this one’s particularly light among everything in the round.
I may have to put this one slightly lower on my list due to the fine margins between songs and the fact that in pure melody & lyric terms it’s among the songs with the fewest ideas on display. Although yes, those ideas are set against a creative, if ultimately sorta low energy, production overall. A tough one! In a weaker round it’d be sure to rank higher.
Phlubububub - Indigo
I really love the chorus in this song, it’s calming and feels like the indigo you’re describing. It’s one of the most memorable and singalongable of the round; I found myself humming it in Ikea yesterday, haha.
And the central narrative is charming. I love artwork about artwork, right. This is a song about a painting. Jonathan Richman did this a lot in the 90s, he’s got songs about Van Gogh and Vermeer where he exalts the colors, brushwork, etc. And I love love those songs. “Speaks to me but not to the crowds” is also a relatable and beautiful experience, really connecting with a piece of art individually even if no one else seems to be.
Production wise, we’re in a sort of psych space, with that tremolo and reverb on the guitar and the processing on your vocals. It all evokes this experience of immersing yourself in the colors of a painted piece of art. The verses for me are pretty significantly less engaging than the wonderful chorus, though. They’re occasionally jumbled with the vocal rhythm not really lining up with the instrumentation, and in transitions between lines or into the chorus it seems like we’re skipping a beat occasionally? I also wanted the chorus to arrive more decisively with a rhythm element. Some percussive change on “indigo”. Anyway a couple little clumsy moments in constructing the whole thing but nothing dramatic; it all even helps this narrator feel more common and relatable, a guy wandering the community market. A guy wandering the community market doesn’t need prog rock multirhythms or virtuosic solos right, that’d be a mismatch. The stumbles serve, though you may still want to clean them up.
This was a grower for me, it really brought me in with more listens. Thanks, great job.
Matt Rhog-Miller - Retail Therapy
We have a relatable and honest narrator here, reflecting on life under late capitalism in no uncertain terms: “meaning has left my life so I fill it up with things.” This was a theme that came up in a few songs. It’s super relatable but also, look guys, you’re also musicians! You’re songwriters! Fill up your life with that! Haha.
I’m sure you can see, Matt, that you’re up against some truly spectacular competition in terms of production value, and that’s certainly not the only scoring criterion but I do have to note that your production is quite simply you and a guitar. It also seems like you did it all in one take, one track, which results in you losing track of your breaths and vocal phrasing as you’re trying to get the guitar performance just right. I think your vocals especially would really benefit from recording the guitar and vocal separately. The location of your breaths is often pretty distracting, like right when you come to the most critical part of a phrase is when you take a very audible breath, a la “Consumeristic <breath> dreams”. Try to hide those breaths in more natural pauses in the phrases you write.
I generally prefer the slower strumming pattern you use in the beginning of the song over the double-time you switch into for some parts. Another suggestion for the future is maybe to take one step toward figurative / symbolic lyrics and away from the very literal essayistic lyrics. It’s always a struggle to find the perfect balance but some of your lyrics were “telling not showing.” Such as the line I quoted above, “meaning has left my life so I fill it up with things”. This is the theme or idea of your song, certainly, but I’m not sure that means you have to say it quite so literally. And maybe look to “Pastel Purple Icing” or “Chartreuse” or most theme-aligned, “Yellow Sticky Notes,” for examples where competitors picked one symbolic image to communicate their overall theme. A version of your song in that mode wouldn’t list green shoes, green car, green this, green that… maybe it’d be the green shoes. Only the shoes. The whole song is you searching for shoes as a flimsy escape from your stressful life, and then being devastated when they’re available in every color but green. The symbolism of “green” as money would shine through even more in this example, in that the green you can’t have is both the unavailable shoes and the money you’d need to transcend the oppressions of capitalism.
Anything there resonate for you?
Chas Rock - Hazel Green
Kudos for this very creatively constructed Yoshimi era Flaming Lips or The Information era Beck backbeat. One of several cool production elements here, including also the wide vocals on “in the mooooorning” and the meandering little mellotrony lines.
I’ve written this in a couple other reviews, though, so I need to apply it here as well: I think you’ve only very minimally met the challenge. Yes this person’s name is Hazel Green, both of which are color words. But I don’t think anything would change if their name and the name of the song became “Jenny Smith” or something. So in a tight competition between many songs my gut tells me that “tie goes to the song that most meets the challenge.” Similar to what I’ve written elsewhere too, even though the production is strong, I think this one slots in as an album deep cut rather than a standout single. It’s at least 10 bpm slower than it feels like it wants to go, for me, and a version that was a little snappier pace wise, that had a less lethargic landing for its chorus, and that maybe incorporated more color related imagery to lean into the challenge and fill out the persona of someone named after colors might have climbed my rankings a bit more.
All that said, I still walk away really impressed with your control of production and performance.
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