Time left




Sunday, October 24, 2021

ST18.2 Reviews and Rankings - Leonie Connellan

Here are reviews and rankings from Leonie of Hot Pink Halo!

1Cavedwellers
2Phlubububub
3Stacking Theory
4Chas Rock
5"BucketHat" Bobby Matheson
6Sober
7See-Man-Ski
8Third Cat
9Brian Gray
10The Dutch Widows
11Governing Dynamics
12Sara Parsons
13Jocko Homomorphism
14Daniel Sitler
15Brother Baker
16Temnere
17Jim of Seattle
18Jealous Brother
19The Brewhouse Sessions
20Timothy Patrick Hinkle
21New Fangled Trolleys
22Menage a Tune


Cavedwellers - Ricochet 

Ooh yeah, I think this is my favourite Cavedwellers song! I feel kind of bad, because unless I’m sitting and reading the lyrics to this while listening, I really don’t care about them. That’s your own fault though because it’s such a banger. Reading the lyrics, they’re pretty interesting, and also a little impenetrable. There’s enough there that I can pull together a story, but who knows. I could be way off. I do get the feeling there’s a fair bit of doublespeak and whatnot going on in there, and that obfuscation is kind of the point. Ricochet is general is just a great sounding word. Mix wise the song is all spot on and I can offer no thoughts on how to improve it, so good job. While writing this review I managed to convince myself to shift this in my rankings. Twice.


Phlubububub - Threads! (A Musical Odyssey in Four Movements: Jimmy and Ruth/Threnody for the Victims of Sheffield/Under a Cold Sky/A New Normal) 

Not gonna lie: I was dreading listening to this song. Absolutely, hands down dreading it. I’d read your lyrics over on the songfight forums, then saw that it was 7+ minutes long and I was ready to strap myself in for a sad, sad time. Colour me fucking surprised. What a jam. I’m not even angry about the mum/mom thing, and tbh, I’m glad you pronounced it like you did. You sang this song in your own accent (thank you, I’m not overly fond of people faking accents in songs), and so it’s natural that you’d say “mom” even when quoting someone. This whole thing is like a lo-fi Scenes From An Italian Restaurant meets The Road. At times your vocals are an absolutely impenetrable mush, particularly in part one. I feel like that’s probably a deliberate choice, but I do think that if you make them even a bit more intelligible, either through mixing or enunciation, it would make the song even better. For me, this has to be the best adaptation of the challenge this round.



Stacking Theory - Escape the Grid 

I am so glad that you reworked this from Sad Beach Music to Melbourne Jangle Pop. It works so well. What an absolute bop. Makes me play the Air Shakers. “Gotta escape!” is chef’s kiss good. And the only thing that makes the length/fulcrum/Archimedes (I’m assuming written expressly for me, tbh) bit better is the backing vocals on it. The only bit better than those backing vocals are the ones on the chorus. I’m not sold on the drums in the slowed down part. I do like how they tie back to the Jangle Pop section, but they feel a bit out of place somehow. I do really like the cymbal crash in the left at 2:40 before “I escaped the grid” starts up. I think that whole slow section could be pushed even slower and dreamier. I’ve been singing this pretty much non-stop for a week. Fun note: for the first few listens I didn’t check lyrics, and it turns I was mishearing “blind optimism” as “blood optimism”, and it weirdly made enough sense to me that I didn’t think to question it. Blood Optimism is my new band name.



Chas Rock - The Show 

This song is exactly the right blend of cheese, nostalgia, fun and groove. My own father is not this man, but I’m pretty sure he’s someone most of us know. At my wedding this guy was one of my friends, and I’m pretty sure my husband still holds a grudge against him all these years later, which I personally find hilarious. We didn’t invite kids to our wedding, partially because my family is large enough that we wouldn’t have been able to invite friends, but we knew this would be difficult for some people, so did tell them on the downlow that they could bring their kids if they wanted to. We ended up with a few nieces and nephews, and one of my favourite memories that your song brought up is a “kid on the dance floor” one: my tiny five year old nephew deliberately and forcefully interrupting the dancing to find out who the Archers of Loaf* and Parts & Labor** were, because they rocked his world.

I think this song is probably borderline with the kid injury verses — some people are not going to take those too well — but, in all honesty, who hasn’t Eaten A Bad Sandwich at a party and subsequently tripped over a one year old? <shifty sideways glance>

I think you made really good use of the challenge with the slowed down sections, and overall you did a great job of setting the scene with the groove, instrument choices, little ad libs and vocal expression. The interstitial synth lines in particular are very enjoyable. It’s irreverent, incredibly fun, catchy and most importantly, really makes me want to dance.

*Harnessed in Slums

**The Gold We’re Digging


“BucketHat” Bobby Matheson - The Flame-Proof Polka 

Super fun. Super, super fun. The amount of attention that you paid to the different tempos really paid off well for you, and this song has so much more energy in the timing and performances than last round. Even though it would still work without them, all the little sound effects and flourishes really add to the atmosphere. This sounds like it was a blast to make, and it was just as enjoyable to listen to.



Sober - Waiting for the Crash 

I wrote this one straight after doing Jealous Brothers’ review, and speaking of songs that feel very American… 

I often have trouble with war-themed songs because the US view of the military is very, very different to my own experience. I was raised in what could best be described as a pacifist family. We were pretty much encouraged to do whatever we wanted with our lives so long as we didn’t join the army. The size of and emphasis on the military in the US seems so overblown and out of proportion to how the defence forces in Australia are viewed, and personally, I protested against the war in Afghanistan. That said, I understand why military forces are needed, I guess I just wish they weren’t. If wishes were horses… 

I hope that what I’m rambling about here doesn’t comes across as dismissive or rude, but I do definitely think the way that people in the US fawn over the military is super weird. People seem trip over themselves to voice support for your armed forces, but then don’t actually seem to do much to support the people they’ve sent into awful situations beyond parroting “thank you for your service” at every opportunity. It’s an attitude that, as someone standing on the outside looking in, I find genuinely upsetting. And then there’s the whole “I joined the military to pay for my education” story that comes up a lot, which is infuriating in a whole different way, because people just shouldn’t have to make the decision to go and kill people just to pay for grossly, grossly, grossly over-inflated higher education fees.

Anyway, I think I’ve gone off track here. I like your song. It expresses the horrors and challenges of war without celebrating it or demonising anyone involved, which is a very fine line to walk. I pretty much always love a tambourine, and the way that you use it to help reinforce the little tempo ramps is really successful. Is there an organ or something that comes in very subtly on the choruses? Whatever that instrument is, it works very well to subtly build the tension. The opening up of the atmospheric instruments at the end sounds almost like they’re asking a question on behalf of the singer.



See-Man-Ski - Sleep 

There’s only one thing that I would change about this song, and it’s upping the volume slightly on “said” at the end. Listening in loud environments, that got a bit lost. Other than that, I’ve not got a lot for you. I really enjoyed this. The recording of your daughter at the start is mixed in well and really helps set the scene, and the slow build is very satisfying. Lyrically, the little repeated phrases add a lot to the atmosphere. I’m glad you didn’t try to force a traditional song structure around this, because it does everything it needs to.



Third Cat - Some Truths 

This is a cool track and I really enjoyed it. I don’t really know what it’s about, but like several of the other songs this round, I find myself not really caring about that, because there’s enough interesting stuff going on between the tempo changes and instrumentation. The chorus is super catchy, and that ending with the spooky rising synth is sweet as. One mix note: there’s something happening with the drums/crash sounds (or one of non-vocal tracks in general) in the “when Alice looks at me” section that’s masking your vocals in a frustrating way, causing them to blend together awkwardly, making the vox sound lispy and fuzzy. If you want to fix this, I think you could go in with an EQ on the drum track and pinpoint where to make a bit of a surgical cut and separate them a bit.



Brian Gray - End of the World 

Different character sections is an excellent way to make tempo changes seem super smooth. For me, this one maybe isn’t as immediately enjoyable as your first round song, but really, that’s just personal preference because this is pretty great. Spintunes this round is pretty dude heavy, so it was refreshing to hear someone bring in another female voice. The person singing Amanda’s part also just did a really great job, and I love her melody choices and little flourishes in particular. The music plays very much to the musical theatre genre, and I sometimes wish that musicals as a whole didn’t immediately stand out as musicals, but at the same time, it’s a genre I particularly enjoy. I guess what I’m trying to say there is that I do probably prefer when musical theatre breaks type, but you’ve made something that does everything you need it to, and when that musical theatre sound is done well (like here) it does work. The reference to Watchmen in the bio made me giggle; it’s so true. Looking forward to your I Want song!



The Dutch Widows - An Awkward Mend 

I lolled at the first sentence of your song notes where you said that “tempo changes are wrong and shouldn’t be allowed”. Like, it’s funny, but it’s made funnier because I think you’re one of the contestants who actually does really interesting things with tempos, beats and polyrhythms. I always try to make at least one of my song listening sessions a long walk, because I find that I zone out a bit and pay attention to different things in that context, and your songs consistently have the best beats and rhythms for walking. In fact, there is now a steep back road hill in rural Cork unofficially named Dutch Widows Hill after last Spintunes, when one of your tracks helped me make it to the top at a much quicker pace than normal. In this track, I think that the slammed together tempo changes actually really work much better than something more subtle would: you do enough interesting things with other parts of the beat that the change feels good. As is often the case with your songs, I found the lyrics quite difficult to make out at first, but that seems to be a hallmark of your style and isn’t necessarily a detractor, and the more I listened, the more I was able to latch on to what you were actually singing about. The count in was the icing on the cake. Side note: I got up just now to try your dance moves and saw a double rainbow out my window that I wouldn’t have seen otherwise, so can 100% confirm that the dance moves enhance the experience.



Governing Dynamics - Across the Wasteland 

I’m am 100% here for these Dinosaur Jr vibes. This one didn’t hit me as much emotionally as your song in round one, but this style is right in my wheelhouse and I could just listen to it mindlessly all day. Bring on the fuzz. I actually went to YouTube and watched a 30 minute video about fuzz pedals after listening to this. I love that little guitar line that comes in the left channel at around 3:10 and builds through to around 4:10. Your lyrics seem to consistently be written using a less specific, more poetic approach, and because of that I think you might enjoy this video I found last year of Will Oldham talking to a bunch of students on Zoom about songwriting. It’s an hour and a half long, but to be honest, it’s so good that I’ve actually watched the whole thing twice already. https://youtu.be/sZDJoGn8LZg



Sara Parsons - Rewind, Retry 

There’s an instant dichotomy that happens with this song, because you open with “everything’s loud”, but actually the whole mix is very quiet. That’s not so much of an issue, because I have a volume knob and know how to use it, but even turning it up, the mix, especially in the first section, needs a lot of work. I think it’s probably that you’ve stepped out of your comfort zone quite far, which is a huge plus for you (the whole point of this challenge was to try and get people thinking differently), but the downside to doing something that you’re unfamiliar with is that it doesn’t have the visceral impact that I think you were probably aiming for. 

In that first part you seem to have everything there placed right down the centre. This does help the section where you make the change, because everything there opens right up across the sonic spectrum, but you lose a lot of energy in the punky part because all the sounds are competing with each other. It’s also forced you to make your vocal track way too loud. With panning and EQ changes, you could lower the volume on your vocals and still have them come through clearly.

Structurally, I feel like the first section needs to be longer, and it’s possible that the story would be better told if you really leaned into some punk songwriting tropes early on, with more of a really catchy verse/chorus setup rather than the through-written style that you’ve gone with. One option would be to pivot on the word “sick”, because it has two very different meanings. For example, instead of “The function's getting heated But my chill's just getting thick This night’s just getting started But I think she’s getting sick…”, you could change this into a repeated chorus, something along the lines of “The party’s heating up, the chill’s really thick, the night’s getting started and it’s really fucking sick, sick, sick, sick, sick”. This would stand alone as a chorus, but still help you move through the change, and you could possibly repeat it again in the slow part with lyrical alterations “It heated up too fast, the chill’s gotten thick, she was just getting started now she’s really, really sick”.

While I’ve talked about a lot of things that are frustrating to me about this song, it’s currently sitting in the middle of my rankings because I think it has real promise, and you should keep working on it. The tempo change itself and the whole second section are really wonderful. Lyrically there are some clunkers in the first part (there are bits where you change perspective mid sentence and such), but the lyric “I took a phone call in the parking lot outside of the ER / She’s gonna get admitted / So I gotta move my car” is heartbreakingly good. So sorry to read about your friend. That really, really sucks and I hope she pulls through.



Jocko Homomorphism - Theorist’s Dilemma 

The first couple of times I listened to your song this round I wasn’t looking at any titles, and actually thought that it was another section of Brian Gray’s song. I eventually figured it out though. I love the gradually increasing tempo; good work on making it feel so smooth, especially the Slow Down Trap section. I think that if the tempo changes hadn’t been pointed out to me, I probably wouldn’t have noticed them, because they flow well and feel very natural. I found with this song that I didn’t really pay that much attention to the story or lyrics as a whole. There’s so much other cool stuff going on that I’m not really compelled to care about the story much. I guess that’s either a compliment or a note for something you could improve, and it all depends on what your intention for the song was. Either way, this was super fun and I really liked it.



Daniel Sitler - Work In Progress 

I didn’t love this track the first couple of times that I heard it, but it really grew on me with repeated listens. It was a nice little reminder that our first impressions are usually fairly unreliable and it’s always worth putting the work in/listening to songs multiple times. I think your structure is really sound and, in particular, the placement of the words you’ve used when you change sections works really well from a word painting perspective. And hell yes to the round at the end. I LOVE a round at the end of a song. Also anywhere else in a song, but especially at the end. I’ve done this myself several times in my own songs, and they can be a real bitch to mix. I think what rubbed me the wrong way on the fest few listens was the mix. The whole thing has a lot of general non-specific low end (I’m one of those people for whom they play subsonic sounds in Haunted Houses; gives me the physical creepy vertigo weirds). Try EQ cutting some low end across the board (possibly mostly on the piano), and maybe make judicious use of a high pass filter. On top of the low end build up, I can hear the compression all the way through the track and it’s discombobulating. If you’ve just whacked one really hefty compressor on a track, you could try separating it out into several lightweight compressors on an instrument. Doing this, you should get the same amount of compression, but it will be much smoother and more natural sounding. It will also make mastering at the end much easier. It’s entirely possible, considering the subject matter of the song, that you wanted it to be a bit off kilter, but I think you can rework it and still have that feel while making the whole thing a bit more palatable mix wise.



Brother Baker - The Silver Lining 

This is another one of those songs that just falls out of my brain immediately after hearing it. There’s nothing really wrong with it, but I just don’t find it particularly interesting. I like your little piano riff a lot, especially when it moves from more of a bass riff to the higher register later. The fade in is an interesting choice, which I think works with your themes. Other than that I got nothing. Apologies for a short review.



Temnere - 20w 

Gotta say, I didn’t really catch the challenge at all here. I think part of the problem is that I don’t really care about the song and drifted off every time I listened to it, and because the changes are so subtle I completely missed them. It’s very competently made, but I’m afraid I find the whole thing just a bit boring. I like the little glockenspiel that comes in. I’m going to give you the same non-song note I gave Jim last week, which is not to split up your words over multiple lines in the lyrics, even if that’s how you sing them. It just makes it a bit difficult to actually read them with no real payoff.



Jim of Seattle - Snorkeling, Snorkeling 

I get the feeling that I’m going to be the odd judge out this week, because this really didn’t work for me. It’s very well made, and the lyrics have a charm, but it just feels like a nothing song to me. I hoped it might grow on me with repeated listens, but it just didn’t at all. I think my main problem is that it feels like you’ve written a sketch, not a song. Unlike some of the other more comedy-themed songs this round, it has no emotional weight. Your tempo changes are relevant to the pub scene that you’ve set for the recording, but they’re not relevant to the actual song. If you take the song itself out of that pub setting, the tempo changes stop making sense. If somebody were to cover this song, would they also have to pretend that they’re in a pub? Is that scene integral to the song, or is it just there to fulfil the challenge? I do very much like the “And a boot” line, which made me laugh out loud.



Jealous Brother - Uncle Jerry 

The intro to this is one of my favourite openers of the round. That strumming with the little piano riff that comes in is very pretty and immediately caught my attention. Unfortunately the rest of the song doesn’t really hold up for me. The tempo changes seem arbitrary. It sounds like you wanted to write something with a series of vignettes, but the lyrics oppose this by just running with one story the whole way through. It’s not a story I found particularly easy to grasp without sitting down and reading the lyrics, and even then, I found myself not really caring about the characters, possibly because the whole thing feels very US-centric and I’m not American.



The Brewhouse Sessions - A Little Bit of Heaven 

This is a super sweet, sincere song. Musically it’s not my cup of tea, but for this kind of song it’s more important that you like it, my tastes be damned. One thing that I think you could do to improve it is to add some sort of solo in between the final chorus and the slow coda; I think and instrumental break there would help reinforce the idea of time passing.



Timothy Patrick Hinkle - A Lost Love and a Roving Eye 

This one didn’t quite land for me. I probably would have enjoyed it much more without the backwards velcro sound that pans from right to left constantly. I’m assuming it’s something you were using to try and sonically illustrate the floaters in the eye image, but I just find it very frustrating. It’s like an ASMR video, and I’m not a fan of those either. Every time that sound disappears I feel a huge amount of relief. It might not be such a sticking point for me if that sound wasn’t so distinctly in front of everything else in the mix. The song is also very long in general, and I don’t think the length is justified. 



New Fangled Trolleys - Dat Studio Money 

I like your general sound in this, including your washboard sounds and your vocal delivery, and those backing harmonies that kick in are fun and refreshing. The musical changes at the end are interesting. I keep wanting that melody on that very last “like” to end on a high note, but that’s personal preference and what you do with it works too. 

What I don’t like about this song are the lyrics and attitude. To paraphrase something that I wrote in BucketHat Bobby’s review for round one, it’s always a gamble to direct a mean, bitter song directly at a “you”, because the listener automatically becomes the “you” (often regardless of your intentions as the writer), and no listener wants to be told that they’re shit for four minutes. My other negative reaction to this song is perhaps a bit more subjective, and kind of falls into the realm of casual sexism. It often seems to be dudes making this argument, that mainstream music is nonsense, and they work harder and their music is better and more honest and therefore of greater value. And almost always, those same dudes decide to diss the work of a successful female pop artist half way through their argument. I had that thought at around about a verse in, and then in the very next verse you proved me right and I sighed. 


Menage a Tune - No Time to Die 

This is a bit of a hard one to critique well. You were one of the lucky one’s who got a shadow through, but it would have been nice to have a bit more effort put in to really take advantage of that. Without a bed of music for the track, it’s hard to relate the tempo and time changes back to the actual song. It sounds like you’ve changed it up in the two sections just because that was the challenge, and I can’t tell if the change relates to the song in any other way. I do understand that it’s difficult to commit time to doing a song when there’s only a chance that it will be competing, but I’d like to take that note and try and use it to convince you to learn how to record and mix your own accompanying parts. You don’t have to be great at it, and to get started you really don’t need too many things. I’m assuming you’ve got a mic and some kind of audio interface and DAW already, because you’re able to record your voice and edit it to the degree that you can submit it. One thing that I would really recommend getting, even if you get nothing else, is a small MIDI keyboard. That one instrument alone can get you a long way, they’re not super expensive and they don’t take up a lot of space. There are a lot of resources online for learning how to do basic recording, mixing and arranging, and if you’re interested I’d be happy to point you to some that I’ve found particularly helpful. It’s great working with other people and all, but honestly, it’s really satisfying to know how to do even the basics yourself, so that if something falls through like this, you aren’t left with just a vocal track. Good on you for even managing to submit anything at all though; it definitely takes guts to submit just an a cappella vocal track to something like Spintunes!



Red Watcher - No Measure (SHADOW) 

This song is a home run. I love it and I wish it had been eligible to go into the competition. It probably would have been my number one. I’m kind of stunned that you were umming-and-ahhing about submitting it. Your voice is really wonderful, and the heart really comes through in both the lyrics and the performance. The first time this came on I was on a bus, and I just kept hitting repeat until I got home. I like a good slow, emotional song (despite what everyone seems to be saying about the judges not liking slow songs!) There are lots of excellent lyrics, and I think my favourite is “life was a river running wilder at the bends”

Just one technical note really: the vocals seem to get just a bit too loud at the 2:10 mark. I’d drop the volume a touch there then look at the EQs on all the other instruments to make sure that there’s enough room there for the vox. There was a cool episode of Frank Turner’s podcast for Tales From No Man’s Land with his producer on one of the songs, and she talks in an interesting way about how to fit the vocals in. https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/silent-key-christa-mcauliffe/id1470096231?i=1000447399209

Good job. More songs please.



The Pleasantry - So Fucking Loud (SHADOW) 

This is another shadow that I really enjoyed this round. This is a super relatable song, and while it’s very specifically about Very Loud Music, I appreciate that you haven’t just destroyed the mix in a really obvious representation of the concept. I think the mix does a good job of implying the loudness of a nightclub or bar without actually obscuring any part. I particularly like the fast panning on the “god it’s so fucking loud” part, and that little cartoon fast talking sound that plays underneath that sometimes. Normally if the main vox aren’t straight down the centre I get a bit twitchy, but in this instance all the panning that you’ve done is really appropriate and works well. This sounds like you had a great amount of fun making it, and I had just as much fun listening to it.



Entertainment Brothers - Slowly (SHADOW) 

I’m going to start this review with some technical aspects of the song that might be helpful for you before I get into my general opinions. I enjoy the general sound of the song; the minimal instrumentation is interesting and I like those background vocals. Not super fond of the whisper voice, but that’s just a personal preference on my part. I think the lead vocals are mixed a little loud: I’d drop the volume on them a bit and work on the EQs of the instrumentation so that nothing is muddying up your vocals and they can stand out well when they’re quieter. This podcast episode on Vocal Mixing is one that I found incredibly useful: https://anchor.fm/mpwpodcast/episodes/23--Vocals-that-pop-ef90cn

You might want to listen to a few other episodes of that particular podcast as well for thematic reasons.

I hate this song though. Hate it. I wouldn’t normally be so blunt like that in a review, but considering I pulled you up last week for casually sexist lyrics, I think that glorifying domestic violence by making a song about someone killing their partner was a weird choice on your part. Maybe you didn’t read the reviews; maybe you did and your response was to go in harder. I don’t know.

What good does making a song from the perspective of a shitty person doing something terrible do? It’s fine to write songs about bad things, or from the perspective of an unsavoury character, but if you’re intent on doing this, you really do need to look at the song as you’re making it and think “does this need to exist?” Sometimes the answer will be “yes”, and in that instance, you need to be extra careful with your song (or whatever else you’re making) so that you can be absolutely sure that your intentions are crystal clear. This song in particular does not need to exist, at least in this form. I’m sick hearing songs glorifying male violence, and I’m sick of seeing bad behaviour from men being treated as normal. I’m not sure if you’re familiar with the Mountain Goats, but there’s a good example of this exact type of song in their extensive back catalogue. John Darnielle, who writes from the perspective of other characters more often than not, wrote it when he was quite young. He refuses to perform the song now because, in his own words… 

“I honestly don't want to play Going to Georgia ever again. I really confronted my old catalog because I began getting more and more engaged with my feminism, and I think Going to Georgia is a bullshit song. Bottom line: I know it's got a nice melody, and it's got a cool vibe, but that dude is bullshit and I don't want to be involved with him anymore. I'm not saying I'll never play it, I probably will, especially when the three of us are playing it kind of rocks, but I wish its lyrics were different, I don't know what to do with that. I don't like what's going on in that song. It seems daring and edgy to a 26-year-old dude to have a guy who goes down with a gun for unknown purposes to see somebody he claims to love, but to my present self, that guy is a fucking asshole. I don't like to celebrate things like that.

https://themountaingoats.fandom.com/wiki/Going_to_Georgia

Bottom line, or, the advice I really hope you take from this review, giving you the full benefit of the doubt that you just wanted to write a song about a dodgy character: when you make something and put it out into the world, stop for a minute first and ask yourself “why?”

2 comments:

  1. Must not be any fun being so serious.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hey, thanks for the reviews!

    Not sure if you saw it in Discord but I mentioned J Mascis is one of my favorite guitarists and I've been in a garagey/shoegazey mood lately so I'm glad that I at least somewhat hit what I was aiming for. :D

    ReplyDelete