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Read on for Chas's reviews!
I won’t always open my reviews with an introduction like this, but it’s the first round and nobody really knows me, so hi! My name is Chas and I’m very grateful to be part of this competition. This will sound obvious to anybody who has judged one of these before, but after hours of listening and writing and relistening and rewriting, I’m realizing how impossible it is to confidently say “this song is better than that song”. It’s a flawed competition and we should shut it down, but Micah tricked me into signing an ironclad contract with a truly nasty NDA, so please don’t ask me any questions about it and let’s move on.
I apologize in advance if you hate the notes I give but honestly, who cares? All art is subjective and it’s totally possible that you’re right and I’m wrong! I promise I’m not trying to outsmart you or the song you wrote. I just listened, tried to understand the intention, and then wrote down my thoughts and reactions. In the true spirit of this competition, I’m glad you’re using these challenges to create something that didn’t exist before. Now, let’s get judgy.
Falcon Artist - The Proposal
Something that sticks out to me immediately is that I really like your voice. It has a John Denver quality and I find it folksy and pleasant! I can tell you’re a little bit of a novice guitarist but that’s no problem since this is folk music. I think the vocal performance feels honest and sweet.
That being said, I do have a few notes about the production. The biggest issue for me is that the performance doesn’t seem to match the emotion of the song. The pattern is kind of loud, especially with a pick, which makes the music sound much more abrasive than the lyrics. If you were to re-record this song, I would give the guitar a quick tune and try playing it without a pick. The more you practice the guitar, the more you should attempt to play your instrument the way you sing, with variations in patterns, tones, and volume.
Lyrically, I like that you painted a picture of the proposal, but I would challenge you to search for more unique phrasing. When a rhyme surprises me without feeling forced, it’s the best! Unfortunately, I saw a lot of the rhymes in this song coming. When your song told me it was “cold outside” and the word “fire” started the following line, I knew the next bar would likely end with the word “inside”. By the time we reached the third “by my side”, my ear was losing interest.
The Moon Bureau - Girl With the Eyeliner
Love the production on this! Sometimes you can hear the artist had a great time making a track and that’s obviously present with this song. Great performances, complementary textures, and a lovely mix make this such a nice listen. Your vox are so nice! Reminds me of the intimate, almost shy performances you’d hear on a Belle and Sebastian track, and it definitely matches the character presented.
As for the songwriting, the story is a little manic-pixie-dream-girl-ish, but I know that was also present in the 80s tracks this song is imitating, and I don’t mind a flawed point of view if it feels self-aware. I’m not sure if it fully makes it there, but with all of the inside references, you definitely paint a clear picture of what the goth/emo scene is like and this production makes it obvious that you love the music.
I love how unique the lyrics are, which is why I almost wish the final line of the song had something a little bit more challenging than “I had to shout” because it feels like you needed a rhyme and you really wanted that previous line to say “and you’d tell me what goths all about”. I understand holding on to lyrics you love, but sometimes I think it’s worth giving up an idea to create a more satisfying couplet, especially if it’s closing the song out. Overall though, really successful and I enjoyed listening!
Thorsten Nesch - Roadie
You have an interesting vocal style that grabbed my attention right away! It’s naturally gritty without feeling like some kind of forced performance. The production also had some cool elements: a simple guitar, some kind of droning, swirling, saturated sound that reminds me of wind, and a hand drum.
As for my notes, I love a little chaos when it feels intentional, but all of the elements get a bit confused in this track. Not everything has to groove, but it’s really difficult to connect with a song in which the timing of the vocal and the rhythm of the track feel like they’re operating almost completely independently of one another. I also think the melody is repeated too many times for it to continue being interesting through the end of the song.
Lyrically, I kind of enjoyed that it was simple and didn’t try to rhyme, outside of an odd slant rhyme toward the end with “maƱana” and “Montana”. Don’t know if that was on purpose or not but it hit my ear weird to only have one rhyme and it be that one. I really enjoyed the simplicity of the story. At its core, it feels like a nice moment that you shared with a stranger, and it’s refreshing to hear a song that takes that approach!
Chewmeupspitmeout - Smoke Filled Room
Definitely an interesting composition/production! It opens up sounding like an old Ben Folds track (I was a huge fan as a teen, so it’s hard for me to hear a piano without making the comparison right away) and then takes a left turn with non-traditional drum patterns and lots of instrumental switches. Overall I like the diversity of sound and you give a really nice vocal performance!
My biggest issue with this production is that the instrumental palate sounds squashed and digital. I’m sure you’re using a lot of the instruments included in your DAW, which makes total sense but it creates a problem: even if you accomplish an incredible mix, the production is going to come out sounding a little bit flat and lifeless. If DAW instruments are all you have access to and you still want to use them, I would play with saturation and delay to give them some life and make it sound like they were recorded together in the same room. Also, I would turn down (or low pass eq) the hi hats so they aren’t louder than the snare/guitars/vox. If you have any instruments lying around at home, experiment with creating and recording live sounds to blend with the digital instruments so they don’t sound as sterile.
Lyrically, I think this song has a lot going for it. The prose is a little forced at times, but I feel like the narrator is a character who likes to drink and pretend he is the wisest, most interesting man at the bar, so it fits. The subtext is a guy who needs everybody to see him as something he knows he isn’t. It makes sense that he hangs out in dark bars and hates walking into the sunlight.
Berkeley Social Scene - Just a Theory
I mean, technically gravity is just a theory, but that doesn’t make it “not real”. Pedantic semantics aside, it’s a really nice sounding song! I love the mix of guitar tones and riffs. They create a great sonic palate that complements the energy of a great vocal performance!
Speaking of vocals, I think they sound a little muffled, like they’re under a blanket. This might be because you need to high pass eq them, but I’d bet the main issue is how they were recorded. A lot of artists turn their closet into a vocal booth, and this pushes the mic close to a wall where all of the low end gathers (if you want to know what I mean by this, play a song through a stationary speaker and stand in the middle of a room. Start moving toward the wall and listen how the bass sounds like it’s getting louder.) Basically, recording in closets or in the corner of a room often creates a low “woofy” vocal tone that causes a loss of clarity and muddies up the mix. If you’re recording with a dynamic mic like the SM7 or even SM58, or even most condensers, it’s probably better to just put the mic in the dead center of the room, adjacent to the bridge of your nose, aimed down toward your mouth.
Lyrically, the bio says this song is about two people breaking up because one of them thinks gravity is just a theory. I don’t see that story inside the lyrics at all, but the song bio (which is for cheaters) is just what the song means to the writer, not the listener, so I won’t hold that against it. The lyrics do create a sense of “I thought something was real, and it wasn’t” which I really like, even if the narrator doesn’t seem to necessarily understand what the word “theory” means to the scientific community. Sort of like how “you’re so vain, I bet you think this song is about you” creates a paradox, but it’s still a great song!
I will say, there are some moments where I wish the lyrical structure and content were as creative as the premise of the song. The opening rhyme pairs cliche phrases like “price to pay” and “lost our way” with inorganic, almost Shakespearean language like “meanings astray” and “lost in translation’s heavy sway”. The combination sounds unnatural and they make the song’s voice inconsistent.
Outlyer - Missed Calls
Vibe switch! I’m sure the other judges will compare this to Post Malone, but that’s only because it sounds like Post Malone. Sad rock vocals intentionally soaked in autotune paired with a harmonic guitar riff (that sounds like “Black Balloon” by the Goo Goo Dolls) and trap 808s is what the genre is all about! That said, it’s not an easy style to produce and you execute it well. Those opening swirling harmonies that play throughout? Lovely. The high pass eq vocals on the bridge? Wonderful.
My biggest issue is that the lyrics are simple to a fault. I’m inclined to be lenient because that’s kind of the way a pop song like this is supposed to be, but rhyming “all” with “all” and “too” with “to”? I think you can do better. Maybe the one unique word “latency” sticks out because the language in the verses is so plain, but I wish there was more effort put into finding a unique, personal way to say the same things. I feel the emotion, but when you dig in, there’s not a ton of lyrical calories.
Overall, it’s a clean production with a solid performance of a strong pop melody, but in future rounds, your words should be every bit as colorful and nuanced as your production.
C-00000291*.sys - Keeping You Safe
How dare you make me type this name every time I have to judge you? Anyway, holy Gorillaz, Batman! Production-wise, there are a lot of simple elements and patterns coming together to make something bigger than the individual parts. I love the combination of organic and inorganic textures that cause me to visualize some kind of techno-fascist universe (a pretty tough thing to imagine!) There are moments where I was hoping for variation in the speed as the pace drags a little bit by the end, but that’s a nitpicky note given how much time you’re given to record these.
Lyrically, it’s one of my favorites in the bunch, using mostly simple language that manages to create some all-important subtext: don’t trust this narrator! The performance feels appropriately, corporately sinister and I love the little muffled harmonies that are pushed out to both ears. My one question: why was there one weird spot where the word “mean” was ADR-ed? It sticks out and sounds out of place in an unintentional way.
Stacking Theory - The Start of Last Division
The atmosphere created here is really nice, despite something clipping during the opening drop. The bass tone is rich and I always love a rhodes tremming all over the place. It just sounds smooth, creamy, and dreamy, which feels referenced by the song itself. I think the hats shouldn’t be louder than the snare, which sounds a bit paper thin, but the overall blend is nice. Plus a great vocal performance! I really enjoyed the reverb-y octaves on the “decisions/incisions” part. As a side note that I’m sure everybody else already knows, ST must be Australian, right? I didn’t know I needed that many “r”s in the words “moments” and “go”, but I did and I loved it!
I think this song is supposed to be a reflection on the narrator’s place in the universe after a breakup, but I’m struggling with the lyrics a little bit. There’s a section where it sounds like the narrator might be a surgeon (incision, decision, precision, division), which doesn’t feel like an effective metaphor to me, especially in a song that sounds like this. If I had to guess, those words just rhymed and vaguely meant, “I wonder if things would have worked if we did them differently?” Technically, I understand what you’re saying, but the words don’t really sound natural and I’m not sure it evokes the most effective or cohesive imagery.
One lyrical passage that I do enjoy is “Moments come, Moments go, Falling Stars, Melting Snow” because it implies the passage of time in a much dreamier (creamier) way that matches the sonic tone of the song.
Cavedwellers - 2CU
Haha, okay! Terrifying! In the best way, this song reminds me of something off “Welcome Interstate Managers”. I would say “look it up” if I thought you didn’t know it, but I’m like 92% sure you know it. Clearly, there’s a very flawed narrator who thinks he’s doing something bold for love, but in actuality is crossing an obvious boundary. It feels self-aware and I like it!
I’m not sure if this is a band or a solo artist pretending to be a band (the bio doesn’t help me), but the production is really nice. Love the twangy little harmonizing guitar riffs and hot damn, are those real drums I hear? Could just be great sample work, but either way, it sounds right and I love it when it sounds right!
I do wish the primary vocal blended a little bit more smoothly into the track. Or maybe I just wish you connected with the song a little better? The lyrics are perfect for what the song is: natural language makes for effective storytelling, but I can hear you reading the lyrics instead of focusing on the performance. I know it’s tough when you have such a tight window to record everything, but in future songs, I’d love to hear you play with your voice as an instrument instead of just being a lyric-delivery system.
glenny - Corvette Seasick
So just to be clear, this is glenny and the other group is not glenny, but is strongly hinting through excessive denial that they have something to do with glenny? I guess I’ll figure that out later! Fun song. Specifically, I really enjoy the composition (shout out to the dropouts around “Corvette. C6.” and the riff that follows.) Also, more live drums I think? Either way, this song is full of great tones, textures, and performances.
I do think the vocal recording sounds muffled which might be due to (see: the Berkeley Social Scene review), but that’s the only criticism I have around the production. Lyrically, the words sound natural and the point of view is clear, although the subject matter is a little tough for me to connect with because I drove a really cheap Ford Taurus as a teen and even with all the jobs I worked, couldn’t have raised enough money to buy a Corvette! Either way, best of luck to the young man and I think his song turned out nice!
The Panacotta Army - Amy
The production is smooth like… uh… yogurt? I don’t know, it’s real smooth. There’s a great balance of instruments and textures and the track just keeps driving forward with that tight, tight, tight rhythm section. I think the melody is a little bit bland, but you give a tonally accurate performance.
When it comes to the lyrics, the subject matter is really dark, which is fine, but I would argue that it doesn’t match the bouncy sound of this track at all. Specifically with regard to the vocal performance, the words make it seem like you are sad about Amy’s relapse, but you’d never know it by the melody or the way you sing the words. There are examples of this technique working in songs (“Semi-Charmed Life” comes to mind), but that intentional connection doesn’t feel like it properly lands in this one and I’m left feeling a little bit cold.
West of Vine - Vespa
When this song’s acoustic intro started, I sang out loud “TWOOOO-HEADDED BOYYYYeee” and then it didn’t end up sounding like that song at all (which is good, I don’t think you would have qualified if you just played a NMH song front-to-back) That said, I love the little natural elements you recorded, specifically the percussion you play on the body of the guitar. It adds something simple, dynamic, and personal.
I also really enjoyed the melody of the glockenspiel, but it was recorded a tiny bit harsh (I didn’t put it through an analyzer or anything but it sounded like it needed some of the areas around 4k and 9k eq-ed out). Next time you record one, I would try backing the mic up.
Melodically, I thought it was a little safe, but I really believed the vocal performance and the lyrics sounded natural and held my interest. This is a nice track!
My Broken Demo Tape - It Gets Worse With Age
Gorgeous! Well, deeply sad. And gorgeous! The guitar playing is pillowy soft and you have a really pleasant, impressive vocal range. Some of the early lyrics are a little phoned-in, for example, “even when we dance, you can’t take that chance and fall in love through it all” doesn’t really make sense as a sentence. I kind of understand what you mean, but it’s a stiff, confusing phrase that could be reworded without changing your intention, rhymes, or rhythm. Conversely, that final passage from “This concludes our scene” onward is devastating. If anything, I wish every section had that depth of clarity, because it would really elevate this song to a new level of (very sad) story-telling.
Overall though, this is a compelling performance of an inventive melody over a really lovely sonic landscape (crickets!) and you’d have to be a big, wet rock to not feel emotionally moved by it.
See-Man-Ski - Did You Mean It?
I’m impressed by the engineering chops on this one; it’s a very clean recording and mix! You got a great sound from the live instruments which are performed at a professional level. It sort of reminds me of a Pearl Jam song with the overall Vedder-ness turned down. I really dug the vocal slide up on “Did you meannnnn itttttttt” around the 2:48 mark.
Lyrically though, if I’m being totally honest, I don’t feel very engaged by the words. The meaning behind them seems more poignant than their actual effect. The narrator is stuck in a cycle where it seems like they want to make money, but can’t if they want to pursue what they’re interested in, and somebody who used to believe in them seems to be questioning their decisions now? Or at least, that’s what I’m getting when I read the lyrics, but it’s all pretty vague and feels a little unwilling to be vulnerable beyond that.
I think this could be a really powerful piece of music, but the language doesn’t really evoke the necessary imagery for me to have a visceral, emotional response.
Siebass - The Idea of You
I’m very into the composition here. It’s full of satisfying “tension and release” moments. Those chromatic walkdowns? Ooooh, the chef gave it a kiss. You have great control over a great voice and I know people don’t like being compared to other artists, but it’s hard for me to hear this and not immediately think “Dashboard Confessional”. I mean that as a compliment. I love those sad boys!
Now, the point of view is not an easy one to root for, but I think that’s intentional? Or at least I hope so? It’s tough to hear “I thought you were hot so I started emotionally committing way too early and then I got to know you and uhh ‘no, thank you!’ So now I’m constantly saying things that hurt you but I’m also sad about it and refuse to do the right thing because it’s hard. I guess we’re both going through a difficult time, huh?” and then feel a ton of empathy for the narrator. I think that’s probably fine since there seems to be self-awareness around the fact that this narrator is kind of a villain! I once wrote an entire album from the perspective of villains who don’t understand that they’re villains, so I don’t mind stuff like that.
Sidenote, and this is so tiny, but there’s something about mentioning “genies” and “magicians” in the same sentence that really bothered me. Genies are fictional magical beings, but magicians are normal people who create illusions, Michael.
Also In Blue - A Mile and a Half
You’re just really good at this, huh? I mean, everything about this track is awesome. I can’t believe how lyrically dense it is without ever feeling contrived. “Ours the blood and theirs the blunder”? I mean come ON. It tells a huge story and even if I hadn’t read the song bio (which is for cheaters), I would understand what this song was about on an emotional level. The guitars, mandolins, and piano create a complete foundation for your impressive vocals to explore a roaming, evolving, confident melody.
I don’t have many constructive things to add, maybe that I can’t really hear the stand up bass very well and I love the sound of those things? I actually can’t tell if there’s a standup bass in this song or if it’s your left hand octaving down the piano. Hmm, not sure, but if this song left me craving anything at all, it’s a tiny taste of low end. Wait, I do have something else to add: the bridge is stunning.
SpinTown & Company - Department of Miscommunication
You’re right. I have no idea what you’re talking about in this song and yet, I don’t think it affected my enjoyment of it? Like at all? It’s so fun. First off, it sounds great. The production is butter. In fact, I recognize a lot of ST23 artists from my run five STs ago and everybody has leveled up their production. Sorry to brag about everybody during your review, but remember, it was your review that inspired me to do that.
Anyway, the track appropriately sounds like the kind of pop-punk song you’d hear on the opening screen of a video game like Rocket League. The words are gobbledygook, but somehow, they avoid feeling forced or contrived. If this was my first time listening to this song, I would have felt so engaged by it that I’d probably look up what the lyrics meant. Just a ripping track!
James Young - Dignified
I want to address something right off the bat about this production. I’ve had pretty bad ADHD since way before it was cool on tiktok and if you make your vocals swirl around like that, I’m going to try to follow them in my head and it will literally make me dizzy. The panning effect is great for environmental sounds like a drone or a delay, but to use it on the primary vocal is more distracting than it is cool.
That said, there’s some good moments in this song. I think you have a solid voice and I like the way you vary it from verse to chorus. There’s a woofy, muffled tone to the vox recording that makes them not quite blend with the rest of the track (see the review for Berkeley Social Scene if you want my theory on why that is!), but your guitars are rocking and performed well. It reminds me of some of the early aughts radio rock bands like Buckcherry or Puddle of Mudd.
Lyrically, this song has a lot of sea imagery that is expressing some kind of abandonment, but it’s tough to decipher a clear emotion because other than being ocean-themed, none of the metaphors really make a ton of sense together. For example, I’m assuming the song starts on a metaphorical ship because there’s “radio static” and the narrator is “forever adrift all alone at sea”, but then the narrator talks about somebody else who is “trying to let go”, which means he isn’t alone yet. You then learn the person who is trying but can’t let go is being “dragged by the undertoe” which specifically refers to a strong current that drags you away from the shore, not a strong current in the middle of the sea that keeps you from letting go of a ship. This might sound nitpicky and maybe it is, but when there are a bunch of vague metaphors that don’t connect or make sense together, I start feeling like the songwriter is afraid of being actually vulnerable and instead is throwing out metaphors they’ve heard work before.
With Joe - Just the Start
I love guitar. I play guitar. But wow, it was refreshing to hear a guitarless track! I really enjoy the sound of synths and the synths in this song were fun. I think you could’ve taken them further. Maybe made them feel a little bit less uniform or used saturation to make them less sterile, but still, more synths everybody. Please. I also really enjoyed the mid-song switch up from long chords to short, fast notes. I think there was still room for a bigger dance drop, but I know you’re working on a tight schedule.
I also was a little confused by the lyrics at first. You tell us that it’s been three years and then turn around and say, “jk we only just met and that was a vision I was having”. It took me a few listens to understand what was going on, but I like the idea! I think it may have been clearer if you left out the “three years” lie at the beginning and started from “I’m still not used to the looks you get downtown”, that language already makes us assume you’ve been together for a while instead of directly lying to the listener, and I think it would make the twist much more effective!
Definitely Not Secretly Glenny - Definitely Not Secretly Glenny
This song is effortlessly funny, but if I find out this is secretly Glenny, I’m gonna flip the hell out. One thing I noticed that reminded me of the Glenny song is that the vocals are muffled and tough to hear, likely due to the same reasons I mentioned to the real (?) Glenny but hey, the performance is so good, who would want it any other way? Well, maybe I would, but that isn’t going to stop me from ranking this song very high.
Sharquin - Can You Believe?
Your singing voice uses a super interesting affect that I can’t quite place. I think it’s somewhere between Alanis Morissette and Liam Gallagher.
Anyway, this song is wild! Starting with the production, I think it was mixed to be as loud as possible, and unfortunately, the effect is that my ears are physically tired by the end of it. Loud music is rarely mixed as loudly as you think it is. It was a tough lesson for me to learn (see: ST18 and I’m still learning it!) but super heavy levels of eq and compression on everything prevent the listener from being able to crank a song up. I ended up having to listen to this track turned way down and I bet that defeats the point for the artist. That said, the guitars around the chorus sound pretty ferocious, I just wish they were balanced better amongst everything else!
The lyrics definitely take some swings. They describe a series of miscommunications that I think we can all agree escalate in severity.
Honestly, the most confusing thing for me when it comes to the barber, the waiter, and the masseuse, is that the narrator says they are using “miscommunication” to cover up their lies. Why is that confusing? Well I’ll tell you: the barber says it was a miscommunication to cover up the lie that a mistake was made while cutting the narrator’s hair, the waitress says it was a miscommunication to cover up the lie that a mistake was made when writing down/putting in a food order, but it sounds like the narrator is claiming it was a miscommunication that he didn’t know what a happy ending at a massage parlor was, so that makes him the liar? Did I get the joke right? I can’t tell from the performance if that was the intention or not, which kind of undercuts the joke. Maybe if at the end, the narrator said, “to cover up my lies”, the narrative arc would make more sense.
Cardamom Seed - You Got This Wrong
Amongst my favorite productions from this round? From an instrumental perspective, there are a lot of great things happening, but everything blends in such a pleasing way that I don’t think about them individually. I just enjoy the effect they have collectively.
Also, the lyrics make me laugh. I would never have gotten it the first time around, but I feel rewarded on subsequent listens. It’s not a metaphor, it’s literal. Somebody mishears a direction while driving and it turns into a massive, toxic fight with both parties blaming the other. Hard to believe with GPS maybe, but it sounds like an 80s track, so let’s assume it took place in the 80s, in which case it totally passes the logical sniff test!
I think some people might find Cardamom Seed’s voice a little dissonant. It’s certainly not the most accurate of the group, but there’s a really interesting melody in there and I find the performance to be honest and engaging.
Ominous Ride - Telephone
OoOoOoOoOo Let’s address the controversy! Honestly, I think it’s fine that you submitted this, but my prediction is that it won’t do well. The lyrics and narrative arc are actually pretty good, but they’re the only thing I can judge. Given some of the other productions this round, it doesn’t feel fair to rank this very high.
I can’t get past that it sounds like a robot singing Christian Rock. My alt was comparing it to Jars of Clay, but I know that’s a little too inside baseball for anybody who didn’t go to a roller rink in a flyover state during the late 90s, so I’m sticking with the wider net of Christian Rock (both words capitalized because when it’s holy, that’s what you do). If you get a chance to produce this song, and I hope you do, I’d be interested in hearing how it turns out!
Night Sky - Bummer, Lamb
I really perked up when I heard sax, baby. I wish there was more sax. There’s actually plenty of sax, but is there really? It’s a big flex and everybody in this competition knows it.
After listening to a lot of great songs inspired by bands from the 90s & 00s, I really enjoyed shifting into a bossa track and I think the production here is nice. A diverse instrumental palate + live drums will always earn points from me.
I will say, the lyrics kind of made me laugh and I’m not sure how to feel about them! Given the sound of the song and the fact that it opens with a lamb meeting a collie and the two of them becoming inseparable, you think you’re getting a children’s fable. Here’s the kicker: the moral of this children’s fable is “if somebody is different from you, it doesn’t matter how close you get, they will abandon you for people that look and act like them!” and then you kiss your child on the forehead and say “goodnight sweetie, you’ve got school in the morning!”
I read the song bio (which is for cheaters) and this is a true story, so I understand this song is more of a journalistic retelling of accurate events rather than a proverb, but it did shock me a little bit to end on such a bumme…. Okay wait.
Looking at the band bio, I believe the lead singer was also the sax man. With that in mind (and please correct me if I’m wrong), my final note is that the vocal performance was a little flat, both energetically and tonally, which is surprising to me because that sax sounded great and I wish the lead singer would try using their voice the way they played sax, especially on a jazzy track like this.
Menage a Tune - Miss Communication
Amelia Bedelia is back and the stakes have never been eggier! I know this is a super simple recording and I’m not sure how it will do in this competition, but I honestly think it’s pretty fun and could totally see a slightly revamped production on a children’s compilation album.
I really like the repeating parts. Imagine being in a packed stadium with 10,000 tiny voices chanting “BOIL THE EGGS, BOIL THE EGGS” like it’s Sweet Caroline. You should give it a bridge and raise the stakes a little bit. Maybe a run where you name multiple quick miscommunications that have affected Miss Communication and then use it as a cautionary tale of the dangers around not communicating effectively. Who knows? Maybe it will teach entire generations how to send a complete thought in an email. SpinTune Daddy could even help. He’s really good at it.
▷ - I Had A Friend Once Their Name Was 夢ŠŠµŃŃŠ°
What do I call you when I want to speak your name out loud? Play Button? Triangle? Should I buy a kalimba? I really adore the sound of the music you made here. Electronic rhythms mixed with dreamy, non-traditional acoustic instruments makes a sonic landscape I can really get into and you did it exceptionally well.
Lyrically, this song uses and reuses the word “dream” a lot, maybe to a fault. It’s a pretty straightforward song about being abandoned on a bench, but overall, I like it. I do think some of the details separate it from the other songs about being abandoned in this round. The name 夢ŠŠµŃŃŠ°t makes me feel like the setting is… Russia? Indonesia? Not sure, but somewhere different, and I like how the name creates a unique lyric that also influences the setting.
The vocal performance leaves a little bit to be desired. Against the floating, dreamy sound of the track, it sticks out as a little dry and flat. The melody isn’t grabbing me, but I think if you were to make more tracks like this, you could experiment with talk-singing until you feel really comfortable performing melody. It gets a bad rap, but when the lyrics are good, I genuinely love a talk-singer, and I think if this song was whispered or lightly spoken with a focus on performance (and fun delays and reverbs), it would have blended better with both the sound of the track and the content.
Sober - All Bottled Up
I’ve been a Sober fan since before there was pedal steel. We all hear the great production, but I think at this point, we already know you’re an excellent recording and mixing engineer. For me, it’s about how you approach writing a country song.
I’m originally from Kentucky and was raised on country and bluegrass music. I resented it then and I love it now. A great country song isn’t anything like the pun-filled, bumpkin-baiting buzzword tracks you hear in a gas station on a road trip. A great country song takes a complicated emotional topic and effectively simplifies it without dumbing it down.
If you look at how many lyrics this song has, it will piss you off. It’s as minimal as punk, and yet, somehow fully represents the artist’s intention. The narrator, likely through learned behavior, has been repressing emotions his entire life and the only time he allows himself to talk about what he feels is when he’s drunk. Saying you “bottle up” your emotions is not a new lyrical idea, but saying you’re “all bottled up with a cork and wax seal” is unique, natural, visual language that works alongside the boozy theme of the song.
You’d think repeat listens of a track this simple wouldn’t be rewarding, but don’t forget, you’re stupid (me). The second time around, I caught the double meaning inside the lyric “then I start drinkin’, too much I confess.” He’s confessing that when he drinks, he drinks too much, but also that he confesses too much when he starts drinking? Get real.
And the melody? Read the words “It’s slow coming back down” and then listen to Sober sing the words “it’s slow coming back down”. The way you ascend on the word “slow” before landing the melody is gorgeous and it communicates the emotional core of the song melodically. It’s effective lyricism and it never hits the ear in an awkward or contrived way.
I love this track. Maybe I would have liked a tiny bit more reverb on the primary vocal so it sounded like it was in the same space as the other instruments. Boom, roasted.
Governing Dynamics - Last Light of Wednesday
Okay, so it’s well documented that I think looking at the song bio is cheating, but I looked at the song bio on this one and it really did help me enjoy the song more, which I’m going to call the exception to the rule and I’ll hear no more about it. Without context, an oncoming storm that the narrator calls “not real” could mean a lot of things in the current (I swear to Wednesday, no pun intended) climate.
I remember the tornado sirens growing up and how panicked I would feel for half a second before I realized what day of the week it was. I do feel like there’s some kind of poverty or war motif running through this song that sort of connects with the tornado stuff, right? As in, if you lived somewhere that was under attack, you might hear similar sirens that mean you’re under attack? I’m not sure, but I really love the lyric “You’re a few bad breaks from being me, I’m a miracle or two from you”.
The production sounds really clean and full. On top of that, you have a nice voice, sort of reminds me of Tweedy, but it gets stuck in certain portions of the song and I think there are parts of the melody you could have worked out to be a little bit cleaner. For example, that first section where you sing “recalling the history of charity and hate, you pray the right side will show up” doesn’t sound as confidently performed as the opening bars. Overall though, strong writing and songcraft here!
Flintsteel - tell me why
You lured me into thinking this was going to be a soft little track and then POW… er ballad. The guitars are ripping. There’s a lot of great riffs in there and you do a good job of switching them up before they’ve overstayed their welcome. Are those live drums or just good sample work? The double bass fills during the transitions were especially satisfying.
Lyrically, this reminds me of every doc I’ve ever watched about a cult. An egomaniac who always believed they had a “divine right” to having “devotees” believes they’ve been failed by destiny when they don’t succeed. Classic! I like the premise here, and think it’s appropriate that the lyrics are delivered with Camelot-y, Renfaire language.
I think the vocal performance could stand to be a little bit more unleashed. Somebody this entitled is RAGING and I’m not sure I hear or feel that in the vox. The production does some cool things, especially with the tuned down monster vox toward the end, but I’m not sure the performance totally sells me on this being an angry, vengeful, probably Norse, rock god.
Profestriga - Carving Nature At Its Joints
I love hearing a song that doesn’t sound one bit like anything else in this competition. I’d like to see Sober try to write a trip-hop song that melts into a screamy, metallic, trance chorus. I bet he won’t, the coward!
In all honesty, this is a really impressive production. It’s sonically dense with samples that are saturated to a point where it’s hard to tell what kind of instruments I’m listening to (wait is that a sax????), but the mix feels exactly right for a brain-melter like this.
The lyrics are understandably angry and make some great social points. “We turn chains of cells and proteins into sex and race” is a cool, raw statement. I couldn’t possibly go over all of the lyrics in a brief review like this, so I’ll just say that my primary note would be that I love that you’re expressing yourself and getting messages like this out there, but don’t forget that you need moments where people connect with the song as a song. If you have a ton of information in your verse and you’re headed into a dancy, screamy chorus, I would have loved a hook that relied less on literal info, and instead took the visual poetry route. If anything, I think “Carving Nature At Its Joints” is an awesome phrase to use as a chorus. Imagine it repeating while the listener gets absorbed into the raging instrumental before the next info dump verse.
The performance is pretty strong. I’ve recorded a lot of rappers and I find that when they first start going for it, they always get ahead of the beat. I think you have a pretty good pocket for the most part, but when you’re screaming, sometimes the lack of breath control causes you to rush a little bit and you get ahead of the groove. Still, I recognize what goes into a track like this and I think you did something really good here!
Celestial Drip - Have You Gone Mental
Two slides in one round? ST is turning into a real honky tonk. I enjoyed all of the textures in the intro pretty much right away. It might not be as tight as some of the other country/folk songs this round, but there’s so much organic noise (live drum army, stand up) that I can’t help but love how natural and dynamic it sounds.
It’s also a dark, personal story about hunting down a family member that left years earlier and didn’t want to be found. Typically lyrics like “brain” rhyming with “insane” are a little tired to me, but I think they work for the most part here, and I like the way you use them to hold long, twangy notes during the chorus.
There is something about the lyrics where I can hear you reading them more than I can feel you performing them, and I think maybe that’s because you’re cramming as many words as possible into every verse and I wonder if you could say a lot of the same things in those verses in a less verbose or crowded way. It might give you an easier pocket to perform inside.
The Alleviators - If Only
There’s some good stuff in here! I like how gentle it starts with the bass and dreamy electric keys. I like it so much that the acoustic sound that follows takes me out of it a tiny bit, maybe because it’s got that rubbery, plugged-in-with-a-quarter-
I enjoy some of the performances on the verses. When the first singer started, it sounded confident, intimate, and sweet! Unfortunately, it just doesn’t come together on the chorus, though. Your voices don’t seem to be finding a pleasing harmonic blend and I think some more work could have gone into working on a strong choral melody that you felt confident singing.
The lyrics are also casting way too wide a net to be emotionally effective. The characters and their motivations are kind of amorphous, with their primary personality trait being “we both aren’t capable of saying how we feel to the other person”. That’s a fine enough thesis for a song, but this reminds me of the old adage: show, don’t tell. Show me who they are and why it’s contradictory instead of just flatly telling me that they’re “stuck in their ways.” What are their ways? What does that mean?
Boffo Yux Dudes - Kiss My Wife Goodbye
I read the song bio (everybody now, altogether, WHICH IS FOR CHEATERS). It’s a crazy story and I don’t know how I’ve never heard it before. Thank you for sharing! I love the idea of kissing your wife goodbye at the beginning of this song, because it almost sounds like it could be forever and that feels intentional! It’s a terrifying lyric with a great double-meaning. I wish there was a little bit more of that throughout the track. For example, “I hope things will be fine” a super affecting phrase, and it isn’t performed in a way that creates the level of anxiety the situation calls for.
The production is kind of spooky, but more in a Halloween way than a fending-off-a-global-
Joshua Enb. Drake - Music Class (SHADOW)
I pressed play and listened to this.
Thanks for the review, I'm glad you got some enjoyment out of it despite the lyrics being gibberish to most people. The next round I wrote about something more accessible to the average listener. It won't require watching a 4 hour video. So hopefully my lyrics continue to stay out of the way of Joe carrying us with his music & vocals. ;p
ReplyDeleteThanks for the review, ChasRock. Not sure if you (and the other judges) saw my disclaimer on my Bandcamp page. I admitted that I was away from any of my recording equipment during the competition, but liked the lyrics I wrote, so I toyed with A.I. I totally expected the low scores/disqualification, but for the sake of my "reputation" I wanted you all to know that I was not trying to push off the song as my own (except the lyrics, which are 100% mine). Thanks again for taking the time for the thoughtful commentary.
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